Anita closed her eyes, but tears were seeping through her lashes. "Goodbye, Vanley. Let this go. Find someone else. Live your life."
"No," Vanley said harshly. He stood up and stared at her hardly. "This is not goodbye. It can't be."
As he left the house, he heard her crying. He wanted to go back and comfort her. He wanted to tell her it would be all right, but he didn't know that it would be, did he?
*****
He left Anita's and headed to Mount Faith Drive. He needed to pick Taj's brain. His cousin could give him unbiased, professional advice. He felt a need to unburden himself, and he preferred to do so with somebody who was not only medically trained to help with mental conditions, but somebody who was also a Christian. When he stopped at Taj's gate, he saw him in the driveway talking to a lady. The lady hugged Taj and moved away toward the house across the street.
"Hey," Taj waved to him when he got out of the car. "What's up, Vanley?"
He waved to Taj then watched the lady as she turned back and smiled and waved to him.
"Who is that?" he asked Taj.
"My mother," Taj said, grinning. "I heard through the grapevine that you like older ladies. She is married, so take your eyes off of her."
Vanley frowned. "I only like one older lady, and Uncle Ryan talks too much."
"He's concerned about you," Taj said. "I was just teasing though. So what brings you here, Pastor Bancroft?"
Vanley shrugged. "I need to talk something over with you."
Taj nodded. "Want us to walk while we talk? It's a lovely, golden evening before sunset. One has to appreciate days like this."
"Sure." Vanley locked the car and they headed down the drive together.
"How is married life?" he asked Taj, who had pushed his hand into his windbreaker pocket. There was a chilly wind blowing, but oddly enough, Vanley didn't really feel chilled. This thing with Anita was even messing up his internal thermometer.
"I love it," Taj said. "Natasha and I get on like a house on fire. If I didn't love married life at just two and a half months, there would be some serious trouble ahead."
Vanley laughed. "That's right."
They heard a dog barking in the distance and the willow trees mourning as they walked. Taj waited patiently for Vanley to speak.
When they reached a fork in the road, Vanley stopped under a small mango tree. "I think I have obsessive compulsive disorder."
Taj stared at him seriously. "Explain."
"I have this thing for Anita. I can't shake it. I want to. I really do, but I can’t. How do I shake a compulsion?"
Taj cleared his throat. "Why do you have this thing for Anita?"
"I don't know." Vanley frowned. "I didn't invite it; I guess I was just attracted to her. Through the years, I have found that I can't be attracted to anyone else. I must be obsessed. Help me."
"Why do you need help?" Taj asked puzzled. "This kind of chemistry is not bad."
"The lady has a secret, and today she implied that I would have to give up the ministry if I were to be with her because her secret is so bad it could derail my ministry."
"The kingdom versus the woman?" Taj shook his head. "The choice you make will reveal the kind of man you are."
Vanley started walking again. "What would you say about me if I gave up the ministry for Anita?"
"Just clarifying here," Taj said, "giving up the ministry in your case would mean giving up your post as pastor, right?"
"Right." Vanley said.
"So you can do other things and still preach and share the word, right? Just find another profession."
"Right." Vanley nodded again. "Like teaching. I like that."
"So," Taj urged him on...
"So I could give up the ministry for her." Vanley said in a rush.
"Without knowing her secret?" Taj asked, "You'd do that? Suppose you can't live with her secret? Then you would have neither the ministry or the woman."
"I hate that secret so bad," Vanley said frustrated. "I really, really, really hate that secret."
Taj laughed. "I really hate the secret too since it's making you so unhappy. I don't think you are obsessed with Anita or even fixated though."
"You don't?" Vanley asked. "Even though I have not looked at another woman for five years? Haven't liked anyone else, really."
"It happens," Taj said, " Leah was God's choice for Jacob, but he worked for Rachel for seven years. You know what you want as well; it's just that the female in question is not willing to go along with you. Maybe Anita has a point, Vanley, and her secret is not worth tying up yourself over."
Vanley sighed and stared at the sky. Only a sliver of light could be seen on the horizon now. The golden afternoon rays had disappeared, leaving only gray. It felt like a good time to be still and just breathe.
Taj said in the silence. "I think you need to refocus your energy elsewhere."
"Not you too, Taj. Uncle Ryan has me dating a girl for three months to get me to stop thinking about Anita."
"Not a bad idea," Taj said. "How is that going?"
"It's going. She's actually Anita's secretary. The thing is: I feel so much like a naive rookie. I tried to make Anita jealous and sent the other girl, Davia, flowers but..."
"But Anita is not budging with her secret." Taj finished for him. "How does Anita feel about you?"
"I don't know." Vanley said, pained. "I really don't know. If she loved me, she would have just told me what it is she is hiding and let me deal with it. This is cruel and unusual punishment. So what should I do?" Vanley crossed his arms. "I close my eyes; I think of Anita. I think about her everyday, all day."
"You think about her or the secret?" Taj asked.
"Both get equal attention," Vanley said sheepishly.
"Then find out what the secret is."
"I have six more weeks of dating Davia before I can find out what the secret is, says Uncle Ryan."
"You should let Anita do the telling," Taj said.
"How?" Vanley asked. "Tie her up and shake the truth out of her?"
They stopped at the end of a cul-de-sac.
Taj laughed, "No. Sit her down and tell her to treat you like an adult."
"Been there, done that." Vanley said bleakly. "Want to be my sidekick? My sister says I need to find out what the secret is on my own…do some investigation."
Taj shook his head. "Natasha would be perfect for that, not me."
"Maybe I should ask her. When does she get in?"
"She is lecturing until eight. Come home and wait for her." Taj invited. "I am going to cook pasta."
*****
When Natasha got in, she heard laughter in the kitchen. Taj and Vanley were eating and talking.
"Something smells good in here," she shouted while she simultaneously took off her heels and put down her briefcase in the hallway. She entered the kitchen and saw that Taj and Vanley were around the table. She kissed Taj and hugged him around the neck.
"Pasta from scratch! What's the occasion?"
"Vanley made it," Taj said.
"Nice." Natasha served herself some. "Welcome to our house Vanley—the first time you’ve been here since we got married."
Vanley grinned. "You have a pasta maker; I might start coming by often."
"All he allowed me to do when he saw the pasta maker was make the sauce," Taj said. He looked at Natasha lovingly. "You get more and more gorgeous everyday."
Vanley cleared his throat. "Please, you two, spare me your newly-wed lovey dovey talk."
Natasha blew kisses at Taj. "But I love to hear things like this."
Taj squeezed her fingers. "Vanley is here because he wants to investigate Anita Parkinson's past."
"He does?" Natasha's eyes widened. "Why?"
"She is his lady love who is playing hard to get," Taj said.
"Oh, yes," Natasha laughed, "I remember when we were investigating Edward Carlisle's death, she was on the radar for a little while but we quickly wiped her off when we realized that she didn't ha
ve a motive to kill him. She and the President are close. First, Harry and I thought she was having an affair with him, then we heard that she was a lesbian, and then Harry caught you two kissing in her office."
Natasha took a mouthful of food and was chewing happily, completely impervious to what her statement was doing to Vanley.
Vanley's eyes got wider and wider after every revelation. "You thought she was a lesbian?"
"Um... yeah." Natasha said. "But Harry caught you two kissing. So maybe she is a reformed lesbian?"
Vanley flushed because Taj was grinning at him.
"Oh, wait," Natasha wiped her mouth. "I know that she was definitely a lesbian. The other day we were asked to check her out because she was harboring a fugitive; the person's name was..." She hit her forehead.
"Carol?" Vanley asked flatly.
"Yes, Carol King. Anita all but admitted that she was in a relationship with her in the past. She told us that Carol was not staying with her though."
Vanley inhaled.
"Exhale," Taj said gently after a minute went by. Vanley had held in his breath and hadn't even realized he was doing it.
Vanley looked at him and then exhaled. "I am okay. Really, I am."
Natasha started eating again and there was silence around the table.
"Carol was staying with her," Vanley said in the silence.
"We know," Natasha said. "Carol told the police that she had to hide out until her alibi came back to Jamaica. The charges against her were dropped; her alibi checked out."
"A lesbian?" Vanley said tremulously. "That's the big secret? Why would that affect my ministry? I mean, who would know about this? This was way, way back in her past."
Taj said contemplatively. "You are right. Maybe there is more."
Vanley got up. "Thanks for your help, Natasha."
Natasha nodded. "Want me to investigate her some more for you?"
Vanley paused. Why should he pursue this further? He had the big secret now. At least he thought he did. He finally answered Natasha. "I feel bad about prying in her life. I probably should just drop it and stay away as she says and leave her alone."
Taj looked at him skeptically. "Can you leave it alone now?"
"No." Vanley pushed his hand in his pocket and rocked back on his heels. "Could you find out who her parents are? They are alive, and she didn't want to talk about them."
"Sure," Natasha said, "I have contacts. It may take a while though."
Vanley coughed. "I have to go."
Taj got up too and walked him to the door. "Vanley," he hesitated and then gripped Vanley's shoulder, "you have my number. Call me anytime you need to talk or pray with someone, okay?"
Vanley nodded. He walked to his car, his feet feeling leaden. It took him four tries to start the car; his fingers felt as if they had no life in them to even turn the keys properly. When he finally reached his house, the information he had just gotten about Anita began to sink in, and the part of him that was feeling numb began to thaw.
Chapter Twelve
Vanley tossed and turned for most of the night. His cell phone rang twice on his bedside table, and he groaned when he cracked his eyes opened. He realized that it was eight fifteen. He must have dozed off sometime in the wee hours of the morning. He picked up the phone and answered groggily.
"Yes?"
"It's me," Davia said excitedly. "How are you?"
He felt like death warmed over, but he grunted, "Fine."
"I decided to snoop in boss lady's stuff," Davia said. "She has this file cabinet by her desk that has top-secret stuff. She had an emergency meeting with the other VPs this morning and she actually left the keys. I couldn't believe my luck."
Vanley had a slight headache, and he wanted to tell Davia to hurry up and tell her story, but something held him back. Top-secret stuff. That sounded like what he was after.
"Most of the folders were about school business…boring stuff that I have no idea why they are so secret, but then I saw this folder marked Anton Parks. It looks like it had several documents in there but only two are left. You can see that the folder was fatter at one time. Do you think it's important or related to her secret?" Davia asked.
Vanley grunted. "What was the name again?"
"Anton Parks." Davia was chewing her lips. "Nobody works here by that name. What should I do? Copy the two documents?"
Vanley sat up in bed, now more alert. Why hadn't he thought of making Davia his sidekick before? What was he doing though? He shouldn't be agreeing to this. He had the secret already, but there could be more, as Taj had said.
"Yes, copy the documents," he said to Davia. "Can you meet me at the cafeteria for lunch? And bring the documents."
"Okey dokey," Davia said happily.
Vanley got out of bed when he hung up the phone and went to the shower. He felt awful about snooping around on Anita, but he had already started. Why not go all the way?
While he was putting on his clothes, he thought about what Natasha said and even what Carol had said. So, they had been lovers. He felt disappointment mixed in with a healthy dose of jealousy, but he was not devastated. What he was interested in most of all was finding out if she is still a lesbian? Did she rekindle her relationship with Carol while she was here?
He dusted off his shoe and thought about what he knew about Anita. If he got married to her, she couldn't have children. She had been a lesbian. She was years older than he is, and she wanted him to leave the ministry.
The list of negatives was stacking up, and he didn't feel as certain about her as he did before. Taj was right; the secrets were causing a crack in his single-minded attitude toward her, but it was just a crack. He wasn't ready to give up on Anita Parkinson just yet. He could work with the secrets he knew about her so far, but before he sacrificed his career and his sanity, he needed to hear it all. He hoped 'all' included this Anton Parks and then he could process everything.
*****
Davia was sitting at a table at the back of the cafeteria, waiting for Vanley. She had copies of the two documents from Anita's files in front of her, but she didn't feel as happy as she had felt in the morning when she had gotten the opportunity to snoop around in Anita's secret file drawer. She felt like a spy, and a little pinprick of guilt was questioning her about her motive for helping Vanley. After all, he was trying to find out why he couldn't be with another woman. Was she being opportunistic or was she nuts?
When Vanley walked into the cafeteria and his eyes zeroed in on her, she quickly rationalized that she was more than a little nuts over him. She was willingly to help him satisfy his curiosity over Anita.
"Hey." Vanley sat down. His eyes looked tired, but he gave her that endearing smile of his and Davia realized that she desperately liked him.
"Hey." She looked around the cafeteria; it was relatively empty. They were on the last minutes of the lunch hour. "I found this." She drew out the two pieces of paper from her bag. "I feel pretty bad that I did it."
Vanley looked at the papers and then at Davia. "I feel pretty bad that I'm curious enough to look at it. We make a pretty bad pair of detectives."
Davia put the papers in the middle of the table and they both looked at them like they were going to spontaneously combust.
"Okay, Okay," Vanley snatched it up. "Let's see what we have here."
"There is a letter addressed to Maud and Felix Parks." Davia leaned in closer to him. She was so close he could smell her perfume. It had a subtle citrus scent. She pointed at the letter. "There is an address."
Vanley looked at her as she bit her lip. Were her eyelashes always that long? They covered her eyes like a small feathery duster.
She looked at him curiously, "I don't know if it is significant; do you think it is?"
Vanley forced himself to look away from her and focus on the page. Obviously, he was short-circuiting. Maybe it was that crack in his Anita armor acting up, allowing him to see Davia as any normal red-blooded man would. She was really attractive and swee
t, and she was helping him to solve this mystery, though he didn't ask her for help. She cared about him. The thought warmed him, and he looked at her finger where she was tapping the letter and tried to refocus on the contents of the letter. He read it silently.
Dear Maud and Felix Parks:
This letter serves to inform you that Anton Parks is no longer a minor under the Emancipation of Minors act. He is now a full-fledged functioning adult with the rights and privileges of adults eighteen years and older. Please sign the attached form in duplicate to finalize your release of guardianship.
Vanley looked at the address again. It was an upscale community in Cherry Gardens, Kingston. What was the significance of this for Anita? He looked at Davia, who was poring over the letter as well. "Who do you think is Anton?"
Davia shrugged. "He must be somebody important to Anita because this was in her secret drawer." She pointed at the other paper. "This was a copy of a copy of a birth certificate. See how faded out the letters are."
Vanley looked at the paper, he could barely make out the name Anton Parks. The parent's name and birth date were faded into obscurity.
Who was Anton Parks to Anita? Was he her son? She had a secret son? Was that how she knew she couldn't have children now? Did something happen to her then? So, who were Maud and Felix Parks?
He had more questions than answers when he thought about it. So many unanswered questions and most of them were not looking too good for Anita. No wonder she was keeping her life such a secret.
He looked at Davia. "This is really nothing."
"It is something," Davia said, "I know it, otherwise Anita wouldn't have it in her secret file cabinet. I mean, she has it in there with confidential school stuff that I'm not supposed to see. It is significant!"
Vanley ran his hand over his chin. He had cut himself shaving this morning when he had been so taken up into thinking about what could have been in the documents Davia had found. The cut gave him a little sting and he winced. "This Anton Parks could be her son."
Davia nodded. "That's what I thought. Maybe she gave him up for adoption. Maybe he is your age." She added that bit to make Vanley realize again how disproportionate his and Anita's ages were.
A Younger Man (Mount Faith Series: Book 7) Page 10