“I missed you so much today,” Danny said while nuzzling my neck.
“I missed you, too. I’m about to head for coffee and studying, wanna go?”
“Got a much better idea. Pea, you take studying too seriously sometimes. I know I study a lot but these last few weeks, you’ve been too wound up,” Danny says placing his arm around my shoulders leading me towards the quad.
“Danny, really, I have to get studying done. I have been preoccupied lately and I can’t fail this midterm.”
“What have you been preoccupied with?”
Giving him a “you have got to be kidding me” look, I squared my shoulders, walked in front of him and turned to face him, “Mr. Thomas, do you not realize that we were supposed to be studying all week at your place and that never happened? Do you know why that happened mister?” I asked as I poked him in the chest, “You. That is why I never study. You’re irresistible and I just can’t get enough. I’m going to ground myself from you if you don’t stop getting me alone. We’re going to Starbucks.” I started to turn back towards State Street hoping he would follow me when he put his arm around me and pulled me down to the ground with him.
Danny sat on the plush grass and opened his legs and patted his lap, requesting my body’s presence. I took my backpack straps off my shoulders, setting it next to the tree and moved my body into position. Nestling between his legs I placed my back on his stomach and laid my head back to look him in the eyes.
“This is nice future husband, but now what?” I asked.
Danny reached in my bag and pulled out my economics textbook. He put the book in front of my body and turned to the page I had marked with a dried rose petal.
Danny loved to buy me flowers and I saved one flower petal from every bouquet he bought me and dried it. Most were sitting in a hope chest in my bedroom but this one was still drying, so I had it squished in the book.
He set the rose petal on my thigh and started reading. I forgot Danny had this class on Monday’s and I had it on Wednesday’s. He needed to study for this class too.
I got comfortable, openly cuddling with my fiancé and read the text that we went over earlier in the day. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Skylar approaching with Kylee. Skylar had a large blanket we used for concerts wrapped over his shoulder and he was carrying a cooler.
Skylar didn’t say anything as he approached us, just laid out the blanket. He opened the cooler, taking out a few Red Bulls and a bag of chips. He handed Danny and I each one of the energy drinks. Kylee sat down next to Skylar on the blanket and pulled out a pack of three by five index cards, pens and highlighters. I looked back up at Danny who was smiling from ear to ear.
“Thanks guys, this is amazing,” Danny said to Skylar and Kylee.
“You know you can count on us man. No problem,” Skylar responded.
“Yeah, Danny. You know all you ever have to do is ask,” Kylee said winking at me.
“What’s going on here?” I asked just looking for an answer from nobody in particular.
“Didn’t I tell you I had a better idea, Pea? Next time don’t just think I want to get you naked,” Danny said with a huge grin still on his face. My skin flushed pink as I opened my Red Bull and took a quick drink.
Looking up at him again, I asked, “What did I do in a past life to deserve you Danny?”
“Pea, every day, I ask myself the same question. It’s me who’s lucky. Now, young lady, nose in the book.”
With my best friends and my man, I sat and studied my ass off. The midterm the next week was easy as hell. I scored a ninety five percent.
Am I one lucky girl or what?
I think Kylee notices the sadness in my eyes when she puts her arm through mine and turns me around to walk back to the car. I really didn’t mean to be depressed. It’s just so surreal to have four years of memories with a group of great people and one of them not here anymore.
My eyes might be sad and my heart might hurt, but for the first time in a long time, thinking of Danny didn’t tear my heart out. I let a small grin appear across my face. He is in a much better place and is happy. He wouldn’t want me to be so miserable. He would want me to live my life. I have tried to move forward but I always get stuck in my tracks. I seem to take one step forward and two steps back.
My night with Skylar reminds me of that. I really thought he felt something more for me than just Danny’s girl. I thought he had wanted to be with me and not just get with me, if you know what I mean. That memory does not bring a smile to my face. I am still so upset over that night, knowing that what I said probably hurt his ego, but he broke my heart.
I could have loved Skylar. I could have loved him with everything I had in me. He understood me and what makes me tick. I don’t let too many people in and a part of me feels like he took advantage of that. I can’t really blame him; I was so lost in lust that I didn’t even think of anything but his body.
That’s how my luck is, right? The best moments of my life are all too quickly turned to shit.
Chapter Twelve
By the time we got back to my parent’s, it was about six o’clock. We had talked earlier about leaving around eight, so I knew that I needed to get ready. I took a little too long of shower, making sure to shave my legs and my, well you know. Not that I’m anticipating getting in bed with Skylar again, but I think he might be the only person that wouldn’t have to say anything to me to break down the walls. One look from him was worth a thousand words, and I think he knows it.
I am just finishing the final touches to my makeup when Kylee comes back into the room, fresh from a shower. I always seem to choose the more natural look, black mascara, light eye shadow, clear lip gloss and a light bronzer where Kylee likes the dramatic effect. The shiny gold hues I chose for my eyelids brought the attention to my green eyes lined with thick black liquid eyeliner perfectly. I added a little bit of a darker hue around the edges of my eyelids to give them a smoky look.
Looking in the mirror, I have to say, I like what was looking back at me. Seeing Kylee standing behind me, waiting for the makeup table, jealousy reared its ugly head. I really wish sometimes that I had thinner, straighter hair. My mop is all over the place. Deep brown with a mess of curls is what I have when I don’t do anything to it. I have to do some serious work to make it look anything less than thick and wavy. Kylee has red hair that is naturally pin straight and she bitches all the time that she would love to have my hair. Bitch was crazy.
Removing the items I just purchased from the bag, I clip the tags from the shirt and the shorts and lay them on the bed. I take extra time to lotion my skin that will remain exposed, making sure I am silky soft to the touch, not that I wanted any touching.
I change into my outfit as Kylee finishes her makeup. We make a pretty good pair when it comes to sharing space and getting ready. It wasn’t always this easy. We used to fight for bathroom position, makeup table position and who was going to be the first to use the full-length mirror to check on the outcome of the previous two. Once we found a routine, everything just seemed to move a lot smoother and we got out of the house a lot earlier.
Glancing at the clock on my cable box, the time shows quarter to eight. Great, we don’t have to rush. Kylee and I are both dressed and ready to go within a few minutes.
My parents don’t really keep a lot of booze in the house but I know that mom almost always has a pint sized bottle of vodka in the freezer, just in case. Opening the freezer and moving the frozen peas out of the way, I find that little bottle of liquid courage I’m going to need to face Skylar. I don’t even bother with a glass. I open the cap of the bottle and take a nice long, burn your throat swig, cap the bottle and put it back.
“Uhhh, did you forget about me?” Kylee asks walking towards the freezer.
“Oh no you don’t. Sorry love, remember the rules. You begged me to come with you, I agreed on one condition. What was that condition Kylee?” I question.
“You’re drinking and I’m driving,”
she whines in a voice similar to a three year old.
“Now that we have that out of the way, we should go. I don’t want to be there all night,” I say as I grab my clutch from the counter and walk out the door.
The drive wasn’t too bad. The clubhouse was in Detroit, but not downtown. It only took about 15 minutes to get there since Kylee thinks speed limit signs are mere guiding tools instead of laws. She is adamant they are more of a guiding tool than an actual law. I’m sure that Kylee thinks the points on her driver’s license are like gold stars in school, too.
Skylar had given Kylee the directions to the clubhouse, but looking around, there didn’t appear to be much of anything here. The street that Kylee’s GPS said the clubhouse was on was a dark and deserted commercial road. There were factories and warehouses. I didn’t see any cars, any people or hear any music. I don’t even think there are streetlights. Not a safe neighborhood.
As we continue down the abandoned street, looking on buildings for an address, I hear dogs barking and yanking at their chains. If one of these dogs gets out, I’m going to die. I don’t do mean dogs. Cute little ones that go in purses, yes. Big giant ones that want to eat your face off, no thank you. We continue to inch down the street at maybe five miles per hour.
“You have reached your destination,” Kylee’s GPS chimes out.
We both look at each other. This can’t be right. Just as Kylee was digging through her purse to find her phone, an all black gate opened. The gate was probably chain linked but with some sort of black background, blending it in with the surroundings. It was about 8 feet tall and looking up to gauge the height, I noticed barbed wire all around the top.
Oh hell.
A man came over to my side of the car as we pulled towards the gate. He was tall and was wearing a similar vest to the one that Skylar had worn last night. The vest denoted that this tall man’s name was Mex.
Mex leaned his head in the window and looked both of us up and down.
“Here for open night or are you with someone?” he asks. He licks his lips seductively and I get a weird feeling. Not a “oh hey, he’s hot” feeling but an “oh shit, what have I gotten myself into” feeling.
Kylee leans over to my side and looks up at Mex, “ Skylar invited us.”
“Who is Skylar?” Mex asks.
I knew it. We have the wrong place. Great. Shit. Now we’re fucked.
“You have to know Skylar. He has the same kind of vest as you. About six feet, dark hair and really pretty blue eyes,” Kylee says hoping the man knows who she was talking about.
“You mean Axe?” Mex says with a little chuckle.
I hadn’t heard that name in forever. Danny told me a story one time about Skylar’s uncle. I guess he was some kind of biker too, the one that brought us to a clubhouse when we were juniors. He never referred to Danny and Skylar by their actual names; just called them Axe and Smash. It had something to do with a story from when they were just boys.
“Yes Axe is who we’re looking for,” I chime in, knowing one hundred percent that we are talking about the same person.
“Pull on in. Park there, near the back and I’ll meet you there. If Axe invited you, I wouldn’t want anyone else to try to get a piece. Axe isn’t the nicest guy, if you know what I mean,” Mex says.
Skylar not a nice guy? I wonder what this guy has been up to for the last year.
We pull in the spot that Mex suggests and as get out of the car, he’s jogging towards us. He stops about ten feet from the car and nods his head towards the entrance. I assume he wants us to follow because right after the nod, he starts to walk to the door. We follow him, not knowing what we’re walking into.
As we get closer to the door, I can hear the music. Once the outer door opens, the music is a lot louder and I can actually make out the song. Rob Zombie for sure, I think to myself. Feeling a little more in my comfort zone than I was last night at the bar with the hip-hop music, I think this night might not suck. Our bags are checked and our phones are confiscated at the door.
“What’s going on? Why did he take my phone?” I ask Mex.
“You’re a civilian and you can’t have phones in the clubhouse. You can have them back when you leave. You can take your bag in with you since you don’t have any weapons or any ties to other clubs,” Mex explains likes it’s the most natural thing in the world.
The second set of doors opens and I’m hit in the face with loud speakers, scantly clad dressed women, and men sitting around in vests joking and laughing. Moving into the bar, I notice Skylar sitting at the bar with a woman who is all but crawled up in his lap. I swallow the lump in my throat and try to banish the feelings of what I can only assume is jealousy coursing through my veins.
Looking back at Kylee, and already knows.
“I’ll go get your drink, don’t worry. Cotton Candy and Sprite?” she asks.
“Nope, I’m going hard tonight. Jack and Coke please,” I respond.
Her eyes get big but then she brushes it off. She had to know that Skylar and I were not on good terms because I had never been anything less than happy to see him. Truth be told, I always loved hanging out with Skylar. He was always a blast. He didn’t mind when I would call him late at night with stupid questions about schoolwork or ask him to go places with me when I knew Danny wouldn’t. He was a good man.
“Maybe the wrong man died that night” Played back in my head. How could I have said that to him? What kind of monster am I?
Kylee returns with my drink and we find an open table near the DJ booth. There isn’t anyone on the dance floor though, which I find weird. A stripper pole and stage are right across from our table and there is nobody on there either. It was barely nine so maybe it would liven up soon, I hope. As I start to sip on my drink, Skylar comes over to our table.
“Hey Kylee. Mira. Glad you guys could make it out tonight. I know it’s a little dead in here but it will get packed in a couple hours. I invited you down early so we could catch up,” he says scooting in the booth beside me.
Just being within arms reach of Skylar sets my skin on fire. He places his hand down on the seat between our legs and his finger brushes against my exposed thigh. Slamming my drink in one large gulp, I get the attention of both Skylar and Kylee. I ask if he would move to let me out to get another drink.
“I got it,” Kylee says, “You guys catch up while I’m gone.”
Fuck.
I was wishing that Skylar would change spots in the booth and move to the other side, but he instead he moves closer to me. He leans in, our foreheads almost touch and he smiles.
“I think it’s high time we talk, don’t you Mira?”
“Wh- What do we need to talk about?” I think I ask aloud. When he chuckles, I knew he had heard me.
“Not here, sweets. I am glad you decided to come tonight. When Kylee said she was going to bring you, I was a little nervous. I haven’t seen you in so long and didn’t know if you would even speak to me after the way I acted. But I’m still glad you came.”
That’s right. There was something I was pissed off about. Heather. That whore he fucked the night we were together. No fucking respect for me, I think to myself.
“Ya know Sky. I just want to be friends again. I got my taste and it wasn’t anything special, so if you don’t mind, please ask your DJ to play something a little more upbeat so I can dance,” I say rolling my eyes.
Kylee comes walking back to the table and Skylar straightens himself in the seat, takes one look at me and leaves to talk to the DJ. Perfect timing. Looking at Kylee, she has two drinks in her hand and a shot nestled between her tits.
“Kylee, you’re not drinking remember,” I say, frustrated that she cannot ever listen to me.
“I’m not, these are for you. After that last drink, I knew you would need a constant flow and this is the next best thing to a whiskey IV,” she jokes.
Taking the shot out of her cleavage, she hands it to me and I throw it back like a champ. Tequilla, shit. Oh well,
we’re on a roll, no stopping now. I take one of the drinks, still Jack and Coke and down that as well. I slam the glass back on the table, wipe the extra booze from my chin and go for the final drink. Kylee stops me.
“Slow down honey. This isn’t a marathon,” Kylee says looking worried. I have never been a huge drinker but when I was drunk, I was either a blast in a glass or a cunt. I was aiming for cunt tonight.
“Ky, I got this. You’re sober. You will make sure I make it home in one piece. You will feed me toast in the morning,” I say smiling and take the glass forcefully from her hands.
“This one’s on you babe,” Kylee says getting up from the table as less angry music comes on. While I drink the rest of the liquid from the glass, Kylee stands in front of me gently rocking her hips to the beat. I know she wants to dance. Dancing is what I wanted and dancing is what I’ll do.
I get up from the table and it seems like all the booze hits me all at once. I feel lightheaded and wobbly. I grab the edge of the table for support. Once I get my bearings, I kick off my wedge sandals and head to the dance floor. Yes I took off my shoes. I will not break my neck while trying to dance.
Listening to Fall Out Boy sing about going down swinging, I think the song fits my mood just right. If I’m going to get locked into Skylar’s mess again, I’m not going down without a fight. I hop around the dance floor with Kylee acting dumb and being free from all feeling. The whiskey is doing its job, thank God. Not only is my heart currently numb, so is my face.
One song bled into the next. Still dancing around, not so much bouncing anymore, I am having a difficult time keeping my balance. I realize what song is playing. I totally love this song. I used to dance around to it all the time. Nine Days were singing about a story of a girl.
Not even needing to see him, I feel Skylar come up behind me and in perfect time with the song he whispers in my ear, “and I absolutely love her.” I turn around to face him and he puts his hand on the back of my hip and slideds his finger underneath the fabric of my tight tank top. The touch of him, skin to skin, is too much. I am mad at him. He hurt me. He broke my heart.
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