Erin joined her and put her arm around Kate’s shoulders. Gently she hugged her and asked “are you feeling better?” The concern was now evident in her voice.
Smiling Kate shook her head “I think I just need a good night’s sleep.”
Erin smiled wryly understanding her girlfriend totally, or so she thought. Standing she began to put away her wrap and reached for the zipper on her form fitting dress. Kate stood up to help her. Her fingertips deliberately brushing Erin’s body. Erin looked over her shoulder to see if Kate was doing it deliberately but couldn’t tell from Kate’s innocent expression as she helped Erin out of the dress. Once Erin was down to her bra and panties Kate went to brush out her own hair as Erin stripped and hopped into the shower to wash off her war paint as she called it. They soon were in bed together snuggled close, Kate’s body wrapped around Erin’s as she didn’t want Erin hugging her upset stomach even by accident.
Over the next week Erin wouldn’t let Kate escape the conversation they had started on the People’s Choice Award night. Kate was thoroughly sick of the topic already. Should Erin come out of the closet or not. Erin had many scenarios in mind and Kate went from mildly amused to very angry at some of them. Any decision Erin was making regarding this would affect both of them as well as their families. Kate was mildly surprised when Peter and Elijah overheard them arguing one day and sided with Erin. She wasn’t sure they understood the implications or were just siding with their mom. She herself had several conversations with her boys by phone and worried when they too agreed that it was time. They knew they might get some press but didn’t think that should worry her, they weren’t important to the public, Erin and hence Kate were. Her worry over the implications though they calmed when they said it was an open secret anyway and she should stop worrying about what other’s thought, only Erin’s regard mattered anyway.
Norm hit the roof though when Erin put it to him. He pointed out that it could destroy her career. Erin countered with the fact that she had just starred, directed, and produced an enormously successful film and had done so before, all that time she had been gay. Coming out now would just free her to be open. She didn’t want to hide anymore. She didn’t want to hide Kate anymore, she had never wanted to hide her. She loved her too much to have her hidden in the shadows. Kate deserved more. Strangely it was the fact that Norm and Kate agreed wholeheartedly that this was a bad idea that began to change Kate’s mind. Although Norm had handled Erin’s career forever he had also helped Kate’s. He was however too protective on some levels due to his long association with Erin and Kate felt he needed to loosen some of his strings. He was startled to agree on that as well, he knew Erin was good, she was very good and had made his job easy over the years; he wished he had a dozen clients that were as professional and at the top of their game as Erin. He realized how unique she really was, from child star to the heights she had achieved, he was lucky to be along for the ride. He finally capitulated to her ideas and began to pitch her on ideas to make her announcement realizing how much publicity this would generate for the movie and for her career.
When Kate agreed to come out of the closet WITH Erin her joy knew no bounds. Instead of wearing their engagement rings on necklaces, both of them wore them openly and all the time now. Anyone who associated with them noticed the changes immediately. Although they had told no one of the decision to come out, their happiness was apparent, the rings were out there and YES they were engaged should anyone ask, just not mentioning who they were engaged to. No one though figured out they were engaged to EACH OTHER as they were still not seen together.
Norm arranged their coming out together. In a feat worthy of an incredible agent such as he was, he arranged that they would appear on the Ellen DeGeneres show which would be taped early on a Thursday. They would both then fly to Chicago to appear live on one of the last Oprah Winfrey shows. Both hosts had been apprised of the agenda on their shows as well as the record breaking shows they would host in the same day. A complete resume for Kate was sent to both shows as she was still relatively unknown in Hollywood circles. The shows would tape and air on that Thursday, on Friday only Erin would appear on Regis Philbin in New York. The following Sunday would be the Academy Awards. As all the votes were in already the announcement could not affect if they won or lost. The film’s momentum being what it was they were certain to garner one or two Oscar’s with it being up for the record breaking SEVEN!
Erin was excited at the plans. Kate was nauseous and nervous by turns. The last week before the first taping she spent in Santa Barbara in a constant state of movement. From swimming to long walks she played with her animals and avoided Erin to a degree. Erin would not allow herself to be avoided. She wanted Kate to be relaxed and tried to help with the anxiety that assailed her. Each night they drank a bottle of wine to relax them both but still Kate’s stomach didn’t settle. Norm offered to get her weed but Kate laughed at that thought, she couldn’t take narcotics but she should try marijuana? Too funny. Erin did help her with yoga of all things but it wasn’t an absolute. Their love life had suffered a lot since the awards shows had started and even the relaxation under Erin’s hands did not arouse Kate. The strain was beginning to show.
The only thing that did cheer Kate was the fact that Doctor Gulbara’s threat would be put to rest. She and Erin had visited her lawyer and informed him of the series of events that were about to unfold and he was prepared to file on that Friday using the other sides arguments against them, including the threats. They would receive notice on Monday but by then the damage to them would be done, it would be a public nightmare for THEM. Kate and Erin would both be out of the closet and the fact that Dr. Gulbara’s office had given Kate, who was allergic, narcotics would be public knowledge. They wouldn’t have a leg to stand on and the lawsuit should settle quickly, even if they were foolish to let it go to court they would lose and the damage to Dr. Gulbara’s reputation would be irreversible.
They arrived at the Warner Brothers Studio’s in a limo. They both were ushered in under cover as this was not an announced guest appearance. Ellen had given hints for a week about the ‘superstar’ announcement on this Thursday’s shows. Ellen DeGeneres met them in the dressing room and taking in Kate’s nervous appearance had her soon laughing. She was a gracious host and Kate relaxed a little. She even had them laughing at her own ‘coming out’ years ago. Kate remembered reading about it and sympathizing with the intense media spectacle it had made. She shuddered to think what would happen after today. Erin Ingram was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. How in the world could she be gay? How could Kate McCall measure up? Erin and she had talked endlessly about this very subject and Erin just kept telling her to remember, she LOVED her, nothing was going to take that away, NOTHING and NO ONE! Kate knew that they both had their insecurities and this could tear them apart if they didn’t stand together.
Ellen went out to do her monologue. Watching from back in the dressing room they both laughed. Kate had relaxed to a degree but she was still high strung. Erin gently massaged her shoulders. Kate looked up and said wryly “I’m sorry, this isn’t about ME at all is it? This is a hell of a step for you.”
Erin smiled down at her lover of nearly three years. She appreciated what Kate had been going through, she knew she was twisted up inside. She also suspected it would get worse before it would get better. Between the media spot light and Kate’s own insecurities she really had a lot on her plate. Erin though felt to her gut that this was right, the timing was right, that they would weather this together. Hugging Kate she answered “this is about us. I love you and I’m not going to let you be in the shadows anymore, I was never ashamed of you or wanted to hide you and now I want the world to know it.”
Looking deeply into those incredible blue eyes Kate felt one of the knots in her stomach come loose. Wow, this beautiful woman loved her so much! How could she not love her back, not support her decision, not help in any way she could. Taking a deep settling breath
she smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in weeks.
Erin returned that smile as one of the crew poked her head in ‘five minutes’ she said to Erin who nodded and followed her out. Kate watched the television which was presently showing a commercial.
“I have a special guest on my show today, she’s a two time Academy Award winning actress and her current movie is up for SEVEN Academy Awards! Please help me welcome the incomparable ERIN INGRAM!” Ellen announced.
The audience went wild and stood up to give her an ovation as Erin walked out in an impeccable white pantsuit. They had talked endlessly about what to wear on each show and this is what Erin had chosen. It made her look sexy and smart. She waved and smiled her incredible smile as she made her way across the stage. Ellen gave her a peck on the cheek and a one handed hug before indicating she should sit. Erin waved to the audience acknowledging their adoration.
It took forever for the audience to calm down much less sit down and Erin smiled through it all. It was an incredible rush. Unlike a movie the response was instant and so in your face. Erin had done theater once when she was younger but preferred movies and this response felt good all the way down to her toes, she wondered if they would feel this way 15 minutes from now. She and Ellen had spoken a number of times about how to handle things. The entire show actually was going to be about Erin. The first 15 minutes about Heart Strings, the second 10 about her ‘coming out’, then Kate would be introduced and interviewed. It should be and interesting 40 minute hour plus commercials.
Ellen kept the conversation light and entertaining, referring to the film as Erin’s little excursion. Showing some of the funniest and sexiest parts from the film, things that could be on a daytime talk show. Erin appreciated her sensitivity and skill. It made her relax for what was about to come. Before the first commercial break Ellen teased her audience with “and Erin has an announcement that your all going to want to hear so you all stayed tuned” once the camera cut she leaned over to Erin to ask if she was okay and Erin grinned “hell yeah” which got them both to laughing. It was a momentous occasion.
“I’m sitting here with Academy Award winning actress Erin Ingram whose new movie Heart Strings, currently still in theaters is up for SEVEN ACADEMY AWARDS including Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Cinematography. Jeez Erin, you do it all?” she shared a laugh with Erin. “That’s not all though, you have an announcement that you want to share with everyone?”
Erin nodded, the time had come and she was amazingly calm.
Kate tensed in the dressing room watching it on the closed circuit TV, don’t do it, don’t do it! Erin couldn’t hear her and even if she had, she might not have listened.
“Well, I’d like to announce that the rumors that Hollywood has had about me for years are true. Yes, I AM GAY.” She looked directly at the audience and into a camera as she made the last of this announcement. She let the gasps and the exclamations from the live audience subside a little before continuing “I am in love with a wonderful woman and have been so for a few years.” Some of the audience began to clap, others stood as they clapped until everyone was standing, cheering and clapping. Ellen leaned over and covered Erin’s hand in support. The standing ovation moved Erin to tears. Slowly, slowly it dissipated and the audience sat down, but it took a while. The cameras had caught it all for the home audience. Kate watched from the dressing room on tender hooks.
“Well that’s quite an announcement” Ellen tried and failed to act as though she was surprised and a few people chuckled at her understatement. “Why did you feel the need to announce this and why now?”
Erin knew the question was going to be asked and re-asked for a while. She had anticipated it. “I felt it was time. I’m not ashamed of who or what I am. I never have been. I have been a very private person and guarded that privacy fiercely, most know the reasons why over the years. I don’t want anyone to every think I was ashamed of who I am or who I am with. In fact, I am so proud of my girlfriend I could bust.”
Ellen led the conversation away from that opening for now. She and Erin discussed the hardships of being gay in the Hollywood and especially the film industry. Erin pointed out that she had done several films and very well she might add with a slight grin at the understatement, her movies were critically acclaimed. The movies were sexy and hetero and all the time she was gay. It shouldn’t matter in what films she played in or what parts she took, she was an actress and wasn’t that her job to play parts she didn’t have in her personal life. She had proven that a gay actress could play straight. Everyone knew that straight actresses and actors had played ‘gay.’ How many actor’s or actress’ had acted superhero’s or criminals and certainly weren’t in their real lives. Heart Strings was incredibly successful and she felt one of her best performances. Ellen agreed with her and fed her great lines as their conversation continued to the next commercial break.
Ellen left the air with the teaser “and when we come back we will meet Erin’s girlfriend” and with that the camera’s cut out. Ellen leaned towards Erin “still okay?” and Erin grinned. She did feel okay. It was a relief to a degree, she felt powerful. She had felt and absorbed some of Kate’s anxiety over the past few weeks but that was gone now. She wondered how Kate was holding up.
One of the crew was walking Kate through the studio to the edge of the stage. Kate had watched the interview with varying degrees of emotions. The makeup artist had made her look incredible and she had been proud of herself for not crying as Erin told heartbreaking stories of other gay people who were afraid to come out for fear of the backlash. Kate could be brave for Erin’s sake, she hoped.
Ellen returned to the air “I’m here with ACADEMY AWARD WINNER and nominee for this Sunday’s Academy Awards, ERIN INGRAM who has just announced that she is gay and I’d like to bring her girlfriend out here, ladies and gentlemen please welcome Katrina McCall!” The audience clapped and cheered but did not give Kate the standing ovation that Erin had received. She was grateful for that as she was so nervous and concentrated instead on smiling and walking across the stage without tripping. She wondered if she would trip down or up the stairs as she walked across. Seeing Erin standing and waiting at the end though was worth the walk. She grabbed Erin’s hands and Erin kissed her full on the lips saying ‘it’s okay babe, it’s okay’ trying to soothe her, she could tell by the slight shake of Kate’s hand how nervous she was. Erin was alarmed at Kate’s pallor and ice cold hands. Kate turned to greet Ellen and received a peck on the cheek as well as a hug. She stepped back to acknowledge the audience, looking over their heads in a brief glance as she sat down next to Erin. Erin had moved to the outside so Kate was closer to Ellen for her part of the interview. Erin reached out her left hand and took Kate’s right one, holding it tightly. Kate threw her a glance and a slight smile in thanks.
“Welcome Kate, welcome to the show. I understand you are an author and writer?” Ellen smiled in greeting as though she hadn’t met Kate backstage.
Nodding Kate wasn’t sure she could get her voice to work but Erin squeezed her hand reassuredly.
Ellen continued “what kind of books do you write?” she grinned, anticipating Kate’s reply since her first question hadn’t produced more than a nod.
Kate’s eyes danced as she responded to the challenge in Ellen’s. She appreciated it. They all knew she was nervous as hell but she wouldn’t bow under to her own nerves. “I write a little smut here and there but I write under various names and different genres as well as a little movie writing” she grinned at that and Erin squeezed in response supportively.
Ellen grinned, “a little movie writing? Anything we might have heard of?”
“You might have” Kate relaxed a little more and was able to look around as she answered “I helped a bit on a little movie called ‘Heart Strings’” she grinned.
The audience laughed. Heart Strings was beating all kind of records for a movie of its type. It wasn’t action adventur
e and it’s romantic, sexy, and funny theme had garnered it so many awards already.
Ellen led the conversation to Kate’s other writing achievements putting up on the screen several of the covers of her most famous books under Kate McCall as well as Macc Katell even finding a cover under ‘Trina’ which kind of made Kate squirm. She brought to her audience’s attention that Kate was the one in Inc. Magazine who’s amazing marketing skills had made her an overnight phenomenon in writing circles. Her repeat performance for her first Macc Katell adventure novels had earned her more accolades. By the end of that segment of the show the audience felt they knew Kate and several members had shouted out when books were mentioned which showed they knew the name if not the face behind their books. Kate was feeling a lot more relaxed by the time they broke for a commercial. Erin leaned over and whispered ‘good job’ and Kate grinned back at her. Kate leaned over to Ellen and whispered, ‘thank you’ heartfeltedly. Ellen whispered back, ‘you’re certainly welcome.’
After that set of commercials Ellen led the conversation to how they had met and Erin made Kate squirm a little as she told how this rude woman was staring at her at a party. Then after talking awhile this strange and rude woman convinced Erin to escape the party with her but was embarrassed at her ride. They flashed a picture of Kate’s Mercedes with the gull wing doors open on the screen behind them. Kate laughed. She remembered the feeling of showing off to Erin and how worried she had been about that. The audience appreciated her humor. Kate continued the narrative explaining how she had invited Erin to lunch the next day and picked her up on a motorcycle. Ellen threw in some jokes at that revelation that had the audience roaring. Then they showed Kate’s motorcycle or trike and Kate had to explain about the Tyrannosaurus Rex. They moved on with their stories both contributing and laughing over incidents. Pictures of both D.O.G. and C.A.T. ended up on screen as well. Ellen appreciated Kate’s sense of humor especially because she was an animal lover too, she was amazed at the size of C.A.T. and the beauty of D.O.G. Ellen had managed to put Kate at ease and her relaxing had helped in the interview. Then Ellen asked where in Santa Barbara Kate lived and Kate pointed out that their walls lined up back to back, she explained that the burned out shell behind Ellen’s place she had bought and reconditioned, they flashed before and after pictures Kate had brought. Ellen was amazed and delighted explaining to her audience that she had actually gotten on a ladder and looked over the wall to see the work in progress. When Erin pointed out that Kate had done most of the landscaping herself Ellen was amazed and impressed. She asked if Kate was available to do HER landscaping. Kate laughed, sure in her ‘spare’ time. The show flowed wonderfully. Ellen hated to bring it to an end. The audience loved it and clapped enthusiastically.
To Love a Shooting Star Page 16