by Starla Night
It was the invitation he needed.
She understood. They were both broken. Only together could they stumble toward wholeness. Together, they would find the strength and courage to succeed.
He tugged her into his kiss.
Chapter Nine
There were so many reasons not to get physical with Elan, and Zara had enumerated them in her head while fighting her body’s reactions to his nearness. She craved to hold him gently and heal the hurt tearing him apart. Anger was her shelter. Anger and reason.
Elan’s kiss swept both aside like a crashing tide.
She clung onto his hard shoulders, gripping onto the only stable rock in her passion-swept mind.
His mouth opened and his tongue thrust into hers, branding her. Desire twisted into her center with a sweet, hot ache. It had been so long. A salty, ocean-male scent clung to his stubbled jaw.
She moaned.
He kissed into her jaw, her neck, her breasts. Forced her shirt over her head.
She stopped. “Wait.”
He gave up with making her naked and tugged her into his lap. “Zara. We need this.”
Heat and desperation roughened his voice and tugged her to give in. After all, he was right. He needed it. And she needed it too.
He was irresistible.
They could forget, go back in time, and she could lose herself in desire. Burn off the raw pain in his passion.
Her body heated, swelling and flowering beneath his expert touch as though it knew exactly the way back to the safe, happy, settled place in Elan’s arms.
But she had to be realistic. She had to protect herself from the inevitable separation. Elan was so certain she had magical powers. He refused reality. And if she believed and lost him a second time, she would never survive.
She refused to give him the assurances he craved, seeking instead to draw clearer lines between them. “This will make it harder.”
“Good.” He nuzzled her swollen breasts through her shirt. “We belong as one.”
That certainty, cocky and yet heroic, melted her resistance like an echo from the past melting through the barrier of time.
This was Elan. Her husband. The only male who ever knew her body.
And he knew it.
Tonight, only for tonight, she surrendered.
He must have felt her letting go because he pressed his advantage. Forcing her shirt up, he splayed her breasts to his hungry mouth, sucking in first one pearl with hot possession and then the other. Heat combusted. Twin peaks of desire twisted in her belly and the hot bud between her legs throbbed and slicked. She arched her back, baring herself to him, and moaned.
While his mouth was busy, he reached up. His fingers knotted into her hair, raising familiar shivers.
She gasped.
His masculine desire pressed insistently against her thighs.
Once she had thought they would never be apart. Now, she had a chance to recreate that fantasy. She wanted to see him above water. Put him in her mouth, taste him. Become one.
Zara tugged down the shorts. He helped her, shifting his hips until the cloth released and his thick, proud cock sprang free. It was also as she remembered it. Long, gorgeous, and covered in the same aquamarine swirl tattoos that covered the rest of his body with scroll artwork. She touched it, cupping the length.
He watched her with dark, passion-heavy eyes.
Zara wanted to mess him up. Watch him lose control the way he pushed for her to let go. She stroked the soft head, the shaft. He closed his eyes and groaned.
Then, he reached under her pants and cupped her feminine warmth.
Pleasure pierced her with swift longing. She rocked against his hand. He ripped the offending fabric out of the way and his shaft nudged her entrance. She panted with need. He gripped her hips, and she balanced on her knees, steadying palms on his broad shoulders.
His hot tip pierced her wet folds. Pleasure surged. She released her weight. He guided her down his shaft, filling her with wholeness once more.
They were one.
His eyes closed and his head threw back, his fingers digging into her hips. Savoring the contact like she was. She stroked his hard cheekbones. He opened his eyes, desire mixed with hunger and fear. A fierce possessiveness, unlike the gentle patience he usually wore, flared with even hotter heat.
And she felt truly warm. It was exactly what she needed. What she’d been waiting for.
But getting what she needed after such a long drought frightened her.
She tried to catch her breath. “Elan—”
He thrust.
She went up in flames.
Desperation, like he could hear her pulling away, made him thrust faster. Her heat stoked higher. The roughness was unlike him, but it was also what she needed. He stole her breath. Passion swept over her again. An orgasm broke, squeezing her body with wonder.
And then her short flight was over and she was back on Earth where their problems remained and nothing was resolved.
It was over too fast.
But Elan didn’t slow. He pushed on. And on. The aching deliciousness built pressure deep within her, more intense than anything they’d ever shared before. If lifting her to new heights of pleasure could convince her to stay, to trust in him, then he did it now. They knew this union could be lost and so entwining as husband and wife tasted even sweeter.
Zara clutched him, crying out, as the release rushed past.
And still, he thrust. A third hard, hot, soul-shattering orgasm crashed over her. She tumbled through it, carried in his arms to a place she’d never been.
“Elan!”
Wet and hot, unstoppable and eternal, his passion surged into her. His whole body tensed, fighting, as though he was suddenly as terrified of sex being over — of this moment passing — as she was.
She stroked his cheekbone gently.
Her gentleness triggered his release. He poured his liquid heat in with a shudder, collapsing on her shoulder and squeezing her tight.
As her heart returned to normal and the dampness of their sweat cooled in the rain-scented night breeze, reality returned to her in a short, cold realization.
The rightness she felt holding onto him was wrong. A trick. They hadn’t gone back into time. And they never could. Just because it felt better than she remembered, hotter and more intense, didn’t mean she could let herself forget the pain and heartbreak that awaited her.
He clung on as though he could feel her slipping away.
Being in his arms made her feel more awake, energized, and aware. And that was terrifying.
If he wormed under her skin, she would never be able to make him leave. She would never protect herself. She would be raw and vulnerable for the rest of her life.
She gathered her strength and pushed free.
He let her go reluctantly.
She stood on bare feet, her thigh muscles shaking from unexpected use.
“You are cold.” He moved to get her clothing.
“No.”
His aquamarine eyes fixed on her. For a moment, he had been her familiar hero. Her knight. Now, as she moved further back, shadows swept over him like a tide coming in. His face darkened into someone she didn’t know.
“That was a mistake,” she warned, “and it won’t happen again.”
His expression tightened. Again, his silent resistance told her that he disagreed.
But he never fought her head-on, where it would be easy to draw an ultimatum. He made her feel secure, relaxed and seduced her. She’d float into his arms without resistance.
No longer.
She backed away, ran into the kitchen, and dampened cloths for a sponge bath. Outside, the rain had stopped, and the house smelled like the distant crackle of electricity after a storm.
After sex clean-up was easier in the ocean.
Sex was different above the water. Frighteningly pleasurable … no! No, it was just different.
She returned to the living room and dressed awkwardly. Elan, sen
sing her wish, also pulled his clothes back on without a word. She packed away the too-small baby clothes. The cutlery could go in the kitchen; she’d stack the outfits that fit in her closet.
Elan watched her work. Frowns chased hidden emotions as though he tried on different sentences. “Your light darkens every time you run away.”
She did not flinch. She did not. “I’m not running away from what just happened.”
“What is this?”
“Cleaning.” She refolded the same outfit a third time. Anything to avoid his gaze.
“Your relationship with Zain will improve if you stand your ground and grow your power.”
“I don’t even believe this ‘power’ exists.”
“You must. Not only for me. For Zain.”
Her anger flared at him, taking an easy conduit. “You’re just trying to trick me into getting back into the ocean.”
“It is no trick. The queens’ power is well known.”
“Oh, yeah? How?”
“Because of what happened at the Battle for Atlantis.”
She paused removing tags and folding clothes. “Atlantis? The ancient city Kadir was looking for where humans and mer lived in harmony?”
“It’s a ruin. Kadir founded a new Atlantis next to the wreckage of the old.”
“From prison?”
“After Soren left Dragao Azul in exile, he gathered an army and freed Kadir from the All-Council prison. Three modern brides have embraced their power and rule Atlantis as the legendary mermaid queens.”
Her heart leaped into her throat. Perhaps it was the vulnerability after sex, but she found it easier to want to believe. Ruling in a city where she and Elan were allowed to be together was exactly the kind of thing she had dreamed about while she was pregnant in Elan’s castle at Dragao Azul. She wanted to live where her presence was celebrated. Where she was treated as a queen.
But his utopian tale didn’t add up. “I thought you were under ‘house arrest’ in Dragao Azul. How do you know this city or these ‘queens’ exist? And Kadir was locked into an ‘unbreakable’ prison where no one has ever escaped. Isn’t this propaganda or exaggeration?”
“No. I saw it and him.”
“When? How? Where?”
Elan’s jaw set.
He didn’t want to tell her? Because he hadn’t seen it. He didn’t know.
It was his wishful thinking. Again. She had to be the practical one for both of them. Their future — and happiness — depended on it.
Zara stood, lifting the baby bags intended for storage. “If we don’t go in the water, your warriors can’t attack.”
“But you must.” He rose, towering over her with his masculine strength. “You must fully transform. Shift to fins and embrace your power.”
“Now that’s crazy talk.” She carried the bags back to the closet. “I was swimming in your city, underwater, a year and I never grew the ability to make fins.”
“Because we thought brides were capable of little, but now we know the truth. You must finish transforming.”
She shook her head. It wasn’t like she’d never dreamed or tried. She had tried. Mostly when Elan was out hunting or conferencing privately with the other males; things she wasn’t allowed to participate in because as a bride she’d been sequestered in his castle.
Well, she’d been supposed to be sequestered…
Zara returned to the point. “Impossible.”
“If you will believe, it is possible.”
Mind over matter?
Ridiculous.
Her mind hadn’t transformed her before. It hadn’t saved her from being ripped away from her husband and baby son. Her mind hadn’t overcome the matter of Soren and the other warriors forcing her to the surface, tearing their family apart and destroying her choice, her personhood, her sense of self.
Before that, her mind hadn’t saved Milly from nearly being sold into slavery. It hadn’t saved either of them from abuse as kids. Zara got decent grades but sometimes she thought her test scores were luck. Because clearly she was stupid when it mattered most.
Optimism was for idiots.
Mind hadn’t done anything. Elan’s hope was misplaced. He came here without a plan.
It was up to Zara to save them all.
“I’m not getting in the water for anything,” she declared.
He growled. Frustration made his hands clench. “How can you turn your back on your son?”
“I’m not.” She stared him down. “The water is your domain. On land, we have laws. Police. The ancient covenant can’t touch us here. Especially if we go far, far away from your city.”
“On land you cannot claim your ultimate power.”
“I don’t need it.” Even if such a thing existed, which she was pretty sure it didn’t. “I’m not going in the water, and that’s final.”
“What if you have no choice?” He set his feet. “For Zain will you not try?”
Red tinted across her vision with fury.
“No,” she snapped. “And if you ask me like that again, this conversation is over. I will drive you to Border and Immigration tonight, and that’s the last you’ll see of me or Zain, forever.”
He stared at her in shock.
That was right. He wasn’t using her own son against her. And it was out of character for him to try.
She nailed her finger in his chest. “What are you really hiding?”
His eyes flared in amazement. He looked so shocked, and then guilty, like she’d caught him.
“Why will you not simply believe?” he begged. “I have told you everything you need to know.”
“That’s clearly a lie.”
His shoulders sagged. The darkness deepened. He covered his mouth. A strange, twitchy desperation made him hunch over as if she were backing him into a corner. “You already hate me for failing to protect you.”
“If I already hate you then you have nothing more to lose.”
“You will hate me more.”
“That’s a chance we both have to take.”
He covered his face. “I refuse.”
“Hiding doesn’t work for you, Elan.” She faced him head-on. “Neither does lying. It’s dishonorable.”
He shot to his feet and slammed his palm against his chest so loud it made her jump. “I am dishonorable!”
Elan’s fury was savage. Unsettling. Like nothing she had seen before.
“You are right, Zara. I am not the male you knew. When you know what I have done — what I have been forced to do —then you will run away. Far, far away. And carry Zain with you.”
This was the male she loved. The one she couldn’t stay away from. The one that, as her final gift to him for all he had done for her, she gave a second chance.
Elan stared at his empty, scarred hands. “Before my dishonor poisons your souls.”
She set her feet and braced herself. For whatever was coming. For however much it would destroy their hopes. “Tell me the whole truth. Right now.”
He stared at her without seeing her, utterly lost. “I went to Atlantis. I saw these queens.” His gaze blackened. “And then I tried to kill them.”
Chapter Ten
Elan’s answer sat heavily on the still air.
I tried to kill them.
Zara would hate him. Her face would turn from stiff distrust to horror and then disgust. And then she would order him out, knowing he was irredeemable. Nothing he did now made up for the horrors he had committed.
She was supposed to be a queen. Queen or bride, Zara was a female, and all females must be protected. Honored. Respected.
And he had tried to destroy them.
Zara remained silent. In shock? He didn’t dare to look. He, a fearless warrior who had once held the highest honor in his city and the respect of his warriors, could not bear to see the disgust reflected in his wife’s eyes.
“I tried to kill the queens more than once,” he said, emphasizing how dishonorably he had behaved. “Do you not hate me now?”
“Tell me everything,” she said again.
Not hating him. Not judging him. Not sneering or dripping in disgust.
No, she issued an order. A simple order. Tell me everything.
His heart lifted.
Even now, Zara looked to redeem him.
But there was no redemption.
She waited, hands on her full hips. Gorgeous, dark hair mussed and dark eyes snapping. Uncompromising.
Her goodwill had to end. The wish to reunite, which had kept him going these last days, would end within the first hours on the shore. He would hold nothing in his hands but sand.
“Kadir’s vision — Atlantis — gained strength.” Elan swallowed the harshness in his throat. It had never hurt so much to breathe. “His queen defended Atlantis from raiders using legendary powers. News of them caused great disturbances across the bottom of the ocean.”
“You heard?” she repeated.
He nodded.
“So you didn’t see these so-called powers.”
“Not at that time.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I was First Lieutenant of Dragao Azul, locked to the city, as you said. Then, representatives of the All-Council came to us.”
As First Lieutenant, he had led their honor guard into the city. A highly decorated representative, proud commanders, and well-fed warriors wielding glittering tridents. These powerful males had reached the highest positions of honor to enforce the rules of the All-Council. They were just, and wise, and worthy of respect.
Or so he had thought.
“The All-Council raised an army to fight the blasphemers. Because Dragao Azul had produced both Kadir and Soren, Atlantis’s King and its First Lieutenant, it was Dragao Azul’s responsibility to lead the destruction.”
She studied him without judgment. Yet. “So they conscripted you to be the General?”
How could she guess? Yes, that was exactly what had happened.
“Dragao Azul had to force me to be the First Lieutenant. Certainly no warrior would volunteer to become General. But the king could not refuse. The All-Council threatened to test their army on our Life Tree.”
Faced with the destruction of the Life Tree, his king sent Elan. And Elan went. To the very city he and Zara had once dreamed of escaping to, Elan had set on destruction.