by Amanda Aksel
“Is it a lie? Can you prove it?” Her eyes widen, giving me a pseudo-innocent look. I think about the text messages I couldn’t find before.
“All our messages are gone. I’m sure you had something to do with it.”
“Well, if you could keep your cock in your pants, you’d probably still have them. Remember that pretty blonde you picked up at LaLa’s? What was her name? Ashley, was it?” My heart plunks to my gut and I want to puke it up when I realize that the night with Ashley was a setup orchestrated by Sophia herself. “Yeah, she took care of that little detail for me.”
“What are you playing at, Sophia? This isn’t a game. This is my life you’re messing with.”
“Well, it was my life you messed with too!” She gets in my face, her cheeks trembling and blistering red.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” She narrows her eyes and her voice lowers to an ominous pitch.
“No, I really don’t!”
“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” Sophia glowers and I can see now that she hates me, a deep hate that festers and then destroys everything in its path.
“Sophia, please tell me what you think I did to deserve this?”
“You ruined me!” Tears puddle in her furious blue eyes, disarming my confrontational stance. “You broke my heart. I loved you, Kent. You made me fall in love with you, then one day you were just gone.” I try to breathe, listening to her words, watching her break down into a pool of tears, but my chest is tight. “I couldn’t work for weeks, and when I did manage to do something, it ended up being a huge clusterfuck and my entire business has suffered for it. Not to mention the hours and thousands of dollars I’ve spent on therapy. All because of you.” She jabs her finger into my chest.
I gently reach for her hand, but she snatches it away. “Sophia, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Because you never bothered to return my calls. Did any of it mean anything to you?”
“Of course it did. I’m sorry I didn’t feel . . . the same way.” My stomach churns, and I’m almost sure I’m going to throw up all over her Persian rug. Sophia is over the top, but I also know that her pain is real. I feel terrible that I made her feel this way and didn’t even know. I grab her shoulders and pull her toward me but she flinches. “Look at me,” I say in the softest tone I’ve used since I arrived. Her eyes struggle to meet mine. “I’m sorry that I hurt you this much. It was never my intention to make you feel like this. I really thought I ended things between us the right way.”
“It was the right way for you. And that’s your problem. When push comes to shove, you don’t care about anyone else but yourself. You do everything you can to win the affection of every woman you meet because you need the validation that you can’t get from your father.”
The truth cuts like a knife in my chest, and I’m stunned, completely paralyzed. Damn.
“See, you can’t even defend yourself because you know I’m right.”
I drop my head, wondering if I’ll ever be able to hold it high again. “I have to go.”
As I walk away, Sophia yells down the hall. “That’s right! Walk away. That’s what you’re good at.”
My mind is numb. Maybe I’m in shock. But Sophia’s psychoanalysis seems so obvious to me now. How could I not see it? What damage have I done that I still don’t know about. Do I even want to know? Two weeks ago, everything was clear. Now I’m completely lost because I’ve probably lost everything, and I’ll likely lose the one good thing to come out of all of this. Liz.
I want to go to her. I do. But now I don’t know if it’s because I have feelings for her or because I need her to have feelings for me in order to soothe my insecurities. I don’t know what to do with myself, but I need to get away from all of this.
I need to think.
I get in my car and drive the hour back out to Surrey. The trip seems to go by fast since there are so many thoughts racing through my head. First, I think about Sophia and that look in her eyes when she was screaming at me. I think back to every woman I’ve been with. I think about what an ass I was to Kate, Drew’s fiancée, and how maybe I am just a shitty excuse for a man. Then, I think about the company and my dad, wondering if I’ve really lost everything. And if I have, do I still care? How badly do I want it? What do I really want?
I pull up to my country cottage. It looks as peaceful as it did when we left this evening. Looking out onto the yard, I spot what’s left of our snowman and think about how fun and free I had felt just being here . . . with her. My dad’s the one who taught me to listen to my gut, and it’s telling me to hang on to her no matter what. But since my gut has led me to this terrible point, I don’t know if I can trust it. I don’t know if I can trust myself at all.
TWENTY-FIVE
Liz
Liz,
I’m so sorry. I can’t make it tonight. I’ll explain later.
Kent
Oh. My. God. Sophia Wright was right. He canceled on me. And by email. He didn’t even try to call. Not even a lousy text. A fucking email! This is the same cowardly bullshit that Jeff pulled five years ago. It takes everything I have not to throw my phone across the room. But I’m not gonna take this laying down. My hands shake furiously as I call Kent. It doesn’t even ring. It just goes straight to voicemail.
I fume.
No, he did not.
I grab my bag and head downstairs. A row of taxis waits out front, and I grab the first one and give Kent’s address to the driver. On the drive to his place, I try calling him again and again. Nothing. I call his office just in case, but there’s still no answer. When I make it to his building, I take the elevator up. With so much pent up agitation, I fidget the entire ride.
I march up to his door and bang my fist against it. No answer. Banging again, I yell, “Kent!” Still no answer. “Kent, open the door!” I continue banging and pounding, but nothing. I press my ear up to the cold steel door, but there isn’t a single sound on the other side. Sophia was right. Kent is ghosting me.
That night, I can’t sleep. I’m such an idiot for thinking that we had something special. If he doesn’t want to see me again, fine. But at least have the balls to tell me in person and not hide in his apartment like a coward. How could he look at me the way he did, touch me like that, buy me fuzzy socks, and then just disappear? Now I’m convinced. There are no men out there that are man enough for me. Zero. Zilch. Nada. And I’ll never let a guy fool me like that again.
After a restless night, the sun finally comes up. I hop out of bed and check every communication app on my phone. Not a peep from Kent. I march over to the trash can and dig the scraps of Sophia’s card out. Once I’ve pieced it back together, I’m tempted to call, not so much to join her lawsuit but to have someone to gripe to. Someone who would understand. But then I remember that I have someone now. Dahlia. And she should know what her friend-slash-fake fiancé’s been up to. Venice is an hour ahead so hopefully she’s awake.
“Hey, Liz,” she answers. “What’s up?”
“What’s up is that your friend Kent is a liar and what’s worse is that he’s not answering any of my calls so I can tell him so.” It feels good to tell someone.
“Wait. What?” She sounds surprised. I bet he’s got her fooled too. “Slow down. What happened?”
I tell her everything from Sophia showing up to him not answering his door. Then before I say another word, I hear a little voice inside me, telling me that there’s an explanation for all of this. “Have you heard from him?”
“No, but I’m going to call him right now. I’ll call you back.” I hang up with Dahlia and wait by the phone, chewing on the tips of my nails. When the phone rings, I jump, fumbling with my cell.
“Dahlia?” I press the phone to my ear.
“It went to voicemail. Just like you said. It’s so weird. This doesn’t sound like him.”
I slam my fist against the bed. “Well, apparently it is. I
have to go. Call me if you hear anything, okay?”
“I will. You too.”
I skip breakfast and dress quickly. The bellhop carries my bags down, and as soon as I’m checked out of the hotel, I hop in a cab and tell the driver to go to the Bonnaire Enterprises Tower. Kent may be a heartbreaker, but he’s also a professed workaholic, and I’m positive he’ll be hiding in his castle. My stomach tightens, and I feel a little woozy as the taxi pulls up to the building. The driver agrees to wait with my luggage as I tell him this will be quick.
I race across the lobby, praying that when the elevator doors open, Kent is on the other side. But he’s not. Of course, now is the only day we don’t accidentally run into each other. When I arrive on the sixth floor, I stomp my heels all the way to his office with my fists balled up and nostrils flared. Poppy isn’t at her desk, so I push my way right through his closed office door. Gotcha, Kent.
“Hey!” I shout. To no one. The room is empty. What?
“Ms. McKenna! Is everything all right?”
I whirl to find Poppy in the doorway. “Where’s Kent?”
She frowns with such sad eyes that I’m almost positive she’s going to tell me that he’s dead. “He’s taken a leave of absence. I found out this morning, and I don’t know when he’ll be back.”
“Are you serious?” What kind of game is this? Either she’s lying or Kent has taken this way too far. “Did you talk to him?”
“No, I just got a message from Dean Bonnaire’s assistant.”
“Poppy.” I walk over to her, my eyes begging for the truth, or at least something more than this. “Is he really on a leave of absence or are you lying for him?”
“I don’t know where he is, but I’m not lying. I can show you the email I received this morning.”
I let out a long, defeated sigh. Poppy’s telling the truth, or the truth she was told. “No, that’s okay. I have to go anyway.” Poppy’s book is still tucked away in my purse and I return it to her.
“Did you finish reading it?” she asks, not as eagerly as usual.
I shake my head. “No, I think I’m done with romance. But thanks anyway.”
She leans in to give me a warm grandmother-type of hug. “Don’t worry, Ms. McKenna. It always works out in the end.”
Pulling away from her, I look into her sweet blue eyes. “Take care of yourself, Poppy.”
I leave Kent’s office and Poppy behind. Tears prickle at my eyes as I hurry to the elevator. And that’s it. Whatever it was, it’s over now.
TWENTY-SIX
Kent
I never went inside my cottage, just stared at it from the car for a few hours as I thought through every possible scenario. It’s the middle of the night when I get back to the city. Physically and emotionally drained, I can hardly keep my eyes open when I walk in the front door. This time, I walk right past the bits of my phone still strewn across the floor and head straight for bed.
In the morning, the first thought that pops into my head is Liz. I open my eyes, remembering what it felt like to wake up next to her. Tomorrow she’ll wake up in California and then eventually, our time together will be a distant memory. It’s a thought I can’t stand. I don’t want to break her heart unintentionally like I did to Sophia. That’s when it hits me. Hers isn’t the only heart at risk of breaking. Dahlia was right. I love her. I’m in love. It seems like the craziest thing, and at the same time it makes perfect sense. Liz is the girl for me.
Even though my feelings for Liz outweigh everything else, I need to deal with my dad first. I can’t have that on my mind when I tell her that I love her. Without wasting another second, I head over to Bonnaire Enterprises. When I arrive, I march up to his office. Beatrice jumps to her feet, glaring at me as if she’s preparing for a fight. “You’re not supposed to be here,” she says, stepping in front of his door.
“Not now, Beatrice.” I grit my teeth and push past her, making my way into his office.
Dad looks up, startled. “What are you doing here?” His surprise quickly turns to irritation. “Did you not understand me when I said that you’re suspended?”
“I don’t care. I’m done,” I say, slicing the air with my hands. “I’m done with you and your rules, your standards, your ultimatums. Nothing I’ve ever done is good enough for you and I’m sick of it. I’m not doing it anymore!”
Dad gets out of his chair and stomps over. “How dare you speak to me like that, after everything I’ve done for you!”
Heat creeps up from the back of my neck to my face. My hands tremble but my voice is steady and strong. “All you’ve done is make me feel like I’m worthless without you, without this place, but I’m not. Let’s see how well Bonnaire Capital does without me.”
His eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”
“I quit.” Damn, it feels good to say that to him.
He blinks as if I’ve just said something in Russian. “You quit? You’re giving up the chance to be the next CEO of Bonnaire Enterprises over this?”
I scoff. “Yeah.”
“So, what are you going to do? Start your own company? Or sit on your ass and make nothing of your life?” The way he says it I know that he’s got no real confidence in me. To him I’ll always be the little boy who thought it was a good idea to chuck rocks at a beehive.
I shake my head and feel my tense muscles loosen when I realize that he’s not the almighty force I once thought he was. “I’m gonna do something you never had the courage to do.”
“And what’s that?”
I shake my head, feeling sorry for him. I’m his son, his star employee, and he doesn’t seem to care that I’m about to walk out of this place forever. “I’m gonna live my life on my own terms and be happy.”
Dad looks as if I’ve just slapped him in the face. And that’s exactly how I leave him—stunned and silent. It’s my favorite version of him yet, come to think of it. The vindication is sweet. Walking out on him like that is exhilarating. I did it. I stood up to my dad and now I’m free. Knowing him, he’s called security. So I race to my office to grab a few personal items before they can force me out the doors.
“Mr. Bonnaire! Wait!” Poppy calls after me as I burst into my office. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.”
“Sorry, Poppy. My phone’s broken.”
“I need to tell you something. It’s important,” she cries as I grab my photographs, my signed football, and my favorite gold pen. Poppy hovers nearby, watching my every move.
“Sorry, but I’ve just quit.”
Her eyes fly open. “You did what?”
“Yes, now, I’m really sorry, but I have to go.” I rush to the door but then slam on the brakes turning back to Poppy. “Actually, can you do one last thing for me?”
She walks over and grips my jacket. “Mr. Bonnaire, please—”
“Call Liz at the Seven Oceans Hotel and ask her to meet me in the lobby in twenty minutes.”
Poppy shakes her head. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Liz was here. She left ten minutes ago.”
My heart sinks to my gut. “What did she say?”
“She was looking for you. I told her about your leave of absence, but she thought that I was lying. Why would she think that?”
I shake my head, worried that she thinks I’ve blown her off or something. “I don’t know, but I have to find her before she leaves town.”
“You might want to hurry. She seemed really upset when she left.”
Grabbing onto Poppy’s navy blazer, I look at her sweet face. “Please get in touch with her and tell her that I’m coming to find her.”
Poppy’s eyes begin to tear. “I knew it. You love her.”
My stomach tightens even more than when I busted into my dad’s office. “Yes,” I tell her, my voice scratchy as I finally admit it out loud. “Will you help me?”
“Yes! But wait, I need to give you something.” She scurries over to her desk and scribbles a few things on a notepad.
“What is it? Security will be here any second!”
“I’ve read about this kind of thing a million times. Take this in case you can get to a phone.” With a determined smile, she hands it to me.
I glance at the note. It’s Liz’s phone number and San Francisco address. “Why do I need her address?”
“In case you need to travel that far to find her. Now go get your princess!”
I wrap Poppy in my arms, giving her a quick but appreciative hug. “Thank you.” I rush back to my car, toss my belongings in the backseat, and drive off. When I get to the Seven Oceans, I hurry into the lobby, looking around for my girl, but she’s nowhere. I run over to the front desk, pushing past a gentleman trying to check in.
“Excuse me!” I say out of breath. “I’m looking for a woman. Gorgeous red hair, American.”
The man behind the desk doesn’t seem to care what I’m saying. “Sir, would you please step away from the counter and wait your turn.”
“Just tell me if you’ve seen her. Her name’s Liz McKenna, maybe you remember her checking in last night around seven.” Recognition flashes in his eyes when I say her name, and I know he knows who she is. “Please, sir, it’s really important.”
The man clears his throat and grits his teeth. “Ms. McKenna checked out this morning, now if you’ll excuse me.” He pushes my hands off the countertop.
I blink, utterly at a loss.
Checked out? That means she’s already at the airport. She may even be on a plane home by now. “Shit!” I hiss and haul ass out of the hotel. When I get to the airport, the sheer size of Heathrow crushes my hopes of finding Liz easily in the vast facility. I groan even as I park and dart inside. There’s no way that I’ll be able to find her. I don’t even know what airline she’s taking, let alone what terminal she might be in. After asking about a dozen people, I find a pay phone and call Liz’s cell. It rings but she doesn’t answer. I try my office. And again no answer, so I try Liz one more time.
“Hello?” She answers. My heartbeat races so fast, I can hardly remember my name. “Hello?”