by Lane Hayes
“Mmm, that’s so damn sexy,” Matty purred as he slowly made his way inside me.
I sucked in a breath and clutched the sheets. He held eye contact in the mirror. No doubt he noticed my theatrical expressions as my body adjusted to his girth, but he didn’t stop until his balls rested against my ass. I propped myself on my hands and wiggled my hips, wordlessly requesting him to move. He smiled mischievously and motioned for me to get to work. So I did.
I bit my bottom lip and fucked myself on his shaft. Slowly at first, then faster and faster. I moaned when he reached for my cock, stroking me in a firm grip as he whispered nasty sweet-nothings. The kind that made my skin tingle and precum leak from my dick. And just when I thought I was close to falling apart, he pulled out of me. I rolled to my back and spread my legs wide, crooking my finger.
“Fuck me, Matty. Hard.”
His nostrils flared as he drove his cock into my hole. He lowered himself and crashed his lips to mine, pistoning his hips frenetically. I flung my arms around his neck and held on for dear life. I sucked his tongue and raked my nails down his back, begging him for more. He captured my hands, held them above my head, and grinned down at me like a sexy pirate, but he didn’t stop. I arched to meet him thrust for thrust until he wrapped himself around me and whispered in my ear.
“Come, baby.”
White lights, fireworks, and a chorus of angels…think out-of-this-world, most incredible orgasm ever. Or something close. I cried out as intense waves of pleasure rolled over me. He hummed softly, smoothing my hair from my forehead and showering me with kisses as he told me how beautiful I was, how amazing I felt, and how much he loved me. And when he came inside me a second later, I held on a little tighter and squeezed my eyes shut, reveling in the feel of his weight and his heavy breathing. I didn’t want to let him go.
I loved him and I loved…us. The way we came together in soft sighs and gentle touches that escalated to something fiery and passionate every damn time. He touched every part of me…physically, mentally, spiritually. He was reason and logic to my slightly manic, headstrong ways. He balanced me and completed me. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure he always looked at me as if I personally hung the moon and stars.
“Matty, I love you.”
He kissed my nose, then pulled himself above me and studied me with a lopsided smile. “Hey, no crying.”
“I’m not crying. I’m just emotional,” I said, swiping a tear from the corner of my eye. “I don’t want to get anything wrong.”
Matt gave me what I called his “Oh, fuck. He’s doing the feelings thing again” look. It used to make me laugh because he’d get so squirmy. But he never walked away or told me I was ridiculous. From the very beginning, he’d always made an effort to see my point of view. Even if everything I said sounded like a new language. Like now.
“Hold that thought.”
He kissed me sweetly before leaning over me to grab a clean cum towel from the supply I kept in the drawer of my nightstand. Weird, I know. But hey, we had a lot of sex and racing to the bathroom covered with jizz got old. It was nice to just lie next to him and talk. I loved burrowing against his side with our legs entwined, listening to his heartbeat even after I ran out of things to say.
“Thanks.” I smiled when Matt cleaned us both, then flopped onto his back and motioned for me to come to him.
“So…you were offered your dream job. Your boss doesn’t hate you. Your husband loves you. You have twin godbabies on the way, and we have nearly enough money to buy a real house and start our own family when we’re ready. These are good things. We want these things, right?”
“Right.”
“Then what am I missing, Aar?”
I hooked my left leg between his and rolled sideways. “Our lives are here. And our roots are strong so—”
“Which is exactly why we can go wherever we want.”
“That makes no sense,” I huffed.
“Sure, it does. Aar…if you want this, we can make it work.”
“I don’t want our lives to just ‘work,’ I want them to be fabulous.”
“Well, sometimes fabulous takes a little effort.” He ignored my “What the fuck?” look and continued. “Jay and Peter’s kids are due next month. If you don’t have to be in the city till summer, that still gives us months to spend time with them. Our friends will visit us. We can come home whenever we want and—”
“What about your job?”
“My firm has an office in New York City. They’d work with me.”
“Wouldn’t you have to take the bar again to practice law in another state?”
“Yeah, but I think I’d still be employed by the DC office. I write contracts, babe. I can do that anywhere.”
I ran my fingers through his chest hair idly. “Mr. Hughes told me you were on track to become partner at the Christmas party a few months ago. I don’t know much about law, but I figure that would be on hold if you transferred to a new state.”
“Maybe.”
“You wouldn’t care?” I asked, furrowing my brow. “We’re talking about your career. You’re not getting any younger. You’re thirty now too and—”
“Too? Did we stop counting your birthdays?”
“That’s rude. Of course we did.”
Matt snickered, then lifted my chin till I met his gaze. “Aar, listen to me. Are you listening?”
“Yes.”
“We’re in this together. And we don’t have to make any decisions tonight. But you should know that I’m never going to tell you to play it safe or to stop taking chances. I don’t want you to have any regrets. So, if this is something you want, we’ll make it happen.”
“But I don’t know what I want. The old me wanted New York City, to go to all the important fashion shows, work with the best photographers, models, and editors, and get a chance to prove I have what it takes to hang with the biggest names in the industry.” I stared unseeing at the flat-screen TV opposite our bed and played with his chest hair as old dreams played out like a miniseries in my head. I sighed before adding, “The new me went to Pottery Barn last weekend and bought discounted Easter-egg ornaments and a tiny pink tree I think will look adorable on the table in the foyer. Oh…then I dropped a hundred bucks at Baby Gap on the cutest matching outfits for the twins.”
Matty rolled his eyes. “Didn’t we talk about this the other night? Peter said they were running out of closet space and asked you and Jay to cool it. You agreed…remember? And what the hell is an Easter-egg tree? It’s May.”
“Thus the deal! And I can still buy baby clothes. I just won’t give them to the dads till the twins arrive.” I waved my hand dismissively. “All of that is beside the point.”
“What’s the point?”
“Pottery Barn, Gap, going to the market on my way home from work, thinking about what to bring to my sister’s barbeque next weekend. You know…everyday life. Things I do now that would have sounded like hell to me ten years ago. I’ve become a suburban housewife at heart. And part of me really wants to complete the picture…buy a house, start a family, quit my job, join the PTA, do yoga with my gal pals. Who am I?”
I flopped onto my pillow with an exasperated sigh. Matt busted up laughing and pulled me to face him.
“You’re a goofball. And you already do yoga with gal pals.”
“And I love it. I love our lives. We’ve built something cool here, and I don’t want to lose it. But I don’t want to regret the chances I didn’t take.”
He pushed a strand of hair from my forehead and caressed my cheek. “Hmm. Well, there’s obviously a lot to think about. But the cool thing is that there is no wrong choice. We can stay or go. We can put a time limit on it to make it feel less daunting. Like…New York for a year. I think I could manage to work between the two cities with the partners’ approval. But who knows? Maybe we’d like it. I once told you we could have an apartment in the city with kids and a dog…I meant it. You’re home, baby. As long as I’m with you, I h
ave everything I need.”
I swiped at my leaky eyes, then rolled on top of him and rained kisses all over his face. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Thank you for being mine.”
Matt chuckled and held me tight. “I love you too. No more worrying tonight. The only decision we need to make is what we’re having for dinner. I’m hungry.”
I grinned as I sat up. “I can fix that. Chicken Marsala, chili, navy bean soup with sausage, or—”
“How long will those take?” he asked.
“Thirty minutes to an hour.” I snickered at his put-upon groan. “Or…we can have breakfast for dinner. How do you feel about a veggie omelet?”
He beamed at me, immediately catching the reference to one of our favorite after-sex meals from when we first met.
“I feel really good about it.”
“Me too, Matty. Me too.”
I took Matt’s advice and made a “Pros and Cons” list over the next few days. Not gonna lie, the pros far outnumbered the cons. Especially if I looked at the opportunity as a temporary situation and an adventure. And if Matt could work something out with his firm, I couldn’t see any real downside. But I had a feeling my best friend might not agree.
He didn’t. Then again, my timing might have been a little off. We’d gone for a run while our husbands played their weekly basketball game. I think they called it “pick up.” I had no idea what that meant, but it gave us all a reason to hang out. Matt, Peter, Jack, and Curt played ball while Jay and I went for a run. If everyone had time, we’d meet at one of our places afterward for brunch. I was impressed with myself that I hadn’t blabbed my news the second Jay and I were alone. I didn’t want to freak either of us out, and he had a lot on his mind. So, I stuck to neutral topics like Seth’s art show that evening.
But my mind worked in mysterious ways. Like a wonky domino maze or a pinball machine. The second I thought about Seth, I thought about his partner and my very good friend, Paul…who I’d initially met through the magazine. The magazine was work and Marsha and…that was when I snapped.
“What are you going to wear? Seth said casual, but he says everything is casual,” Jay commented as he topped off his coffee. “I have a new floral jacket. I can’t describe it without making it sound tacky…sequined roses and satin. You’ll have to trust me, it’s very tasteful and—”
“Marsha offered me a promotion,” I blurted.
Jay went still. He cocked his head so his blond hair fell across his forehead. “Congratulations, honey. Why do you look shell-shocked? A promotion is a good thing, right?”
I bit my cheek and nodded slowly. “Well, yes, but…this one requires a move to New York City.”
“Move? As in…you’re going to leave me? Now?” Jay covered his mouth and widened his eyes. “New York? Oh. You’re joking. Very funny.”
I shook my head. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be here when the twins are born. I won’t miss anything. If I took the position, I’d do some light travel between DC and New York, but I wouldn’t move till September. And I’d only sign on for a year. Matty says I can put that stipulation in my contract.”
“Stipulation,” he repeated as he leaned against his kitchen counter. “Lawyer talk means you’re serious. Oh. Fuck.”
I set my mug down and crossed my arms, mirroring his pose. “We’re seriously thinking about it. I asked Marsha to give me a full week ’cause I don’t want to make a rash decision one way or the other.”
“Smart. That’s wonderful news. Really. I’m happy for you. Congratulations,” he said politely before reaching for his coffee and bursting into tears.
“Jaybird!” I hurried to his side and pulled him into my arms. We could usually laugh about our height difference and how hugs always made me look like a needy koala bear. But not today.
He let me pry his mug away and hold him for a moment, then gently pushed me back. “I’m sorry. I swear you’d think I was the one carrying Greta and Gabriel. I’m an emotional basket case.”
“Greta and Gabriel? I thought the twins’ names were Stella and Stefano.”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. We have three and a half weeks. I may change my mind a dozen more times. Every time Peter’s mom weighs in on a name, I have second thoughts. I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut,” he groused, primly dabbing the corner of his eyes. “Don’t mind the waterworks. Tell me all about New York City, honey.”
I refilled our mugs and gave him a brief rundown before finally taking a sip. “Nothing’s been decided, but I can’t deny that it’s a great opportunity.”
“What does Matt think?”
“He’s excited. He’s trying to play it cool, but he gets that goofy look in his eye when he talks about getting season tickets for the Nets, Jets, Mets, and Rangers,” I said with a grin.
“Is that a basketball thing?”
“I think so…and other sports too. Maybe. At first, I thought he was just being encouraging. But honestly, I think he really wants this too. He might have already talked to the partners about it, but he won’t say anything to persuade me one way or the other.”
“He’s a good man,” Jay smiled. “At least I wouldn’t have to worry about you getting lost in the city or talking to strangers or getting off at random stops on a subway with Matt around. He’ll take good care of you.”
My eyes pricked with unshed tears. “Yes. And Peter will take good care of you and the babies for me.”
“He will.”
“And the guys will all step in. Curt and Jack.” I sniffed loudly, then continued, “And Paul and Seth. Of course, I’d come home a lot, and you can come to the city and before you know it, we’ll be back. I bet ten years from now, we’ll stand here in this kitchen and look out the window to watch our kids run around together, and we’ll remember this moment. We’ll comment about how fast time goes by and how far we’ve come and how lucky we’ve been. And since I’m about to lose it anyway, I want you to know that I’m so grateful you’re my best friend. You’ve always been in my corner, and I promise you I’ll always be in yours. Even if I’m in Manhattan.”
Jay hugged me and rocked us side to side. “I know you will.”
I stepped out of his hold and glanced quickly at my watch when a text message popped up. “Matt says they’re on their way here. Let’s drop it for now. Nothing is for sure anyway, but I promise you’ll be the first to know.”
“Thank you.” Jay nodded, then turned to the sink to wash his hands. “All righty. Help me make breakfast. You start the pancakes, and I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee.”
“Oh, no you don’t. I’m on coffee duty,” I huffed with a world-class eye roll. “I will never understand how anyone can go their entire life not knowing how to make a decent cup of coffee.”
“I have a Keurig!”
“And it still sucks.”
Jay gasped in mock indignation. I chuckled, letting his soft, lilting Southern accent lull me while we worked side-by-side the way we had so many times over the years. Jay was my brother from another mother. We’d been finishing each other’s sentences since the day we met. I had a strong feeling we’d be doing the same thing in fifty years while our husbands and kids—and geez, maybe even grandkids—rolled their eyes in amusement. Distance wouldn’t change anything.
Strolling through art galleries and museum exhibits with a glass of wine seemed like the ultimate form of decadence. Posh and slightly pretentious, I mused as I sipped my Chardonnay. I tilted my head toward the massive landscape, noting the hypnotic riot of colors. The clash of reds and blues should have seemed off-putting, but Seth Landau was a freaking genius. The brilliant palette drew me in and made me wish I could step into the canvas.
“I love this one,” I said, linking my free arm through Matt’s.
“What is it?” he whispered, wrinkling his brow in confusion.
“It’s called ‘The Monument.’ Can’t you tell?”
“No. It looks like a penis in a tubful of flowers.”
“Shh.” I snic
kered. “It’s the Washington Monument at midnight under a full moon in springtime. I’d put it in our room if we had the wall space.”
“No way. I couldn’t look at it during sex. I’d have dick envy and performance anxiety for sure,” he groused.
I threw my head back and laughed. Before I could comment, someone came up behind me and kissed my cheek in greeting.
“You’re quite right, Matt. I told Seth this one had to go. No mortal man can live up to a cock that size,” Paul quipped.
I handed my drink to Matt to give Paul a proper hug. “There you are! I haven’t seen you in ages. Where’ve you been?”
“London and New York. I got home just in time.” Paul shook Matt’s hand, and they exchanged friendly greetings. “Seth’s been traveling with me for the most part, but he had to get back to DC to prepare for this show and his solo exhibit at Harry’s next month. Not too shabby, is it?”
I grinned at the good-looking Brit. Paul Fallon was tall and lean with blond hair, blue eyes, and a fabulous accent. He was one of the most elegant men I’d ever met. His impeccable style and sophisticated mannerisms gave him an edge in the fashion industry. And the contrast between his somewhat uptight demeanor and his boyfriend, Seth’s, uber-relaxed artsy one fascinated me. I worked with Seth when he modeled full-time, and I was extraordinarily pleased that my matchmaking attempt worked. Paul and Seth were night and day. Seth was lighthearted, silly, and mischievous while Paul was…not. In spite of their age difference and personality quirks, they seemed very happy together.
I noted Paul’s sideways glance at his man holding court in front of one of his paintings nearby and smiled. “Not too shabby at all. Seth’s a genius.”
“He is,” Paul agreed. “How’ve you two been?”
We chatted for a couple of minutes, pausing to say hello to a familiar face in the crowd. I waved at Jack and Curt, then motioned for Jay to grab us another round of drinks when he and Peter walked into the packed gallery.
“Paul, would you like another glass of wine?” I asked politely. “Jay and Peter are heading to the bar.”