by A. G. Henley
I groan. Face reading again. But… Kai might admire me? I’ve never gotten one tiny hint of that. Envy, maybe, but I always chalked that up to my relationship with Peree.
“But Bear,” my voice drops to a whisper. “Doing those things you said… they… they got Aloe and Eland killed.”
He wraps an arm around me. “No, Fenn. Spears and arrows killed them. Other people. Not you.”
I swipe at my eyes with my sleeve. That’s not entirely true. I know the decisions I made at least contributed to their deaths. What I don’t know is if I can handle that kind of responsibility again now that I’ve lived through the aftermath. Maybe I want to be a follower, a worker bee. Is that so bad? At least I wouldn’t put the people I care about in danger.
“So… is this new me a good thing or a bad thing?” I ask.
He laughs. “Probably depends on who you ask.”
“I’m asking you.”
“Then it’s a good thing. You’re like a tougher version of your old self. Although I still think you worry about other people too much. It’s your strong suit and your weak spot. Like… why are you even here? You could have stayed in Koolkuna with Peree and been all happy and safe right now.”
I scoff. “As if we’d do that when Kora and the other children were stolen and the anuna were blaming us for it.”
“You’re proving my point.”
“You should talk. Why are you here?”
“Like I said before, I wanted to help. And… I like lost causes.” The warmth in his voice tells me he’s talking about more than rescuing the children, but I ignore it.
“Do you think that’s what this is? A lost cause?”
He doesn’t answer for a long time. “I hope not.”
As the storm wears on, and the sick ones moan outside the cave, Bear and I settle into an easy silence. I’m glad we talked; he seems good, better than before. But even as I prune some of the weeds of worry in the garden of my thoughts, others grow.
Where are Peree and Kai?
Chapter Twelve
Bear and I spend an uncomfortable night slumped against each other near the entrance, dozing. Every time a sick one shrieks close to the cave mouth, I wake. And if I don’t, Bear does, which wakes me anyway.
When I finally give up trying to really sleep, I feel like someone tied sacks of sand to my legs to drag around, and sprinkled a little in my eyes for good measure. I sit listening for Peree and Kai. Nothing.
In desperation, I ask the sick ones to leave. I can’t tell if they understand me, but… maybe they do. Little by little, just after dawn, their cries and howls fade into the forest until there are only a few left by the cave. And then they’re gone.
The rain peters out, too. The forest drips dry, its laundry of leaves fresh and clean again. I step outside a few minutes after the last sick ones disappear, leaving Bear and the rest of the group inside the cave stirring awake, mumbling to each other. The morning light is intense. I yell for Peree and Kai.
“Fenn!”
Peree's voice comes from a distance, but it’s him. My heart prances.
“Where are you?” I push past vegetation, finding and weaving around the trunks of trees. Wet leaves pad the ground under my feet, probably torn down by the rain. I didn’t bring my stick, so it’s slow going.
“Be right there.” He sounds as if he's over my head.
“Are you in the trees?”
Thump, thump, thump. Something hammers to the ground not far away.
“Peree? What was that?”
“Breakfast. A family of possums. Caught ‘em foraging around up here last night.” He still sounds like he’s in the air.
“Where have you been? I was so worried!” I call.
“Why?” Kai also sound high up. “It’s not like he can’t take care of himself.”
“Bear came back without you two! He didn’t know where you went.” The poor night’s rest shortens my temper; I struggle to keep my voice calm. “Of course I worried.”
Footsteps shuffle behind me.
“Peree, Kai—what happened to you last night?” Bear sounds sleepy.
“We climbed a tree. We yelled to you, but you didn’t hear us with the rain and the sick ones,” Peree says.
“Told ya.” Bear nudges me. “I’ll grab my knife for those possums.”
He moves back toward the cave. I stay, fidgeting with the hem of my dress, irritation scuttles up and down my spine. I can’t brush it off.
“We found a network of platforms and walkways in the trees, like at home!” Peree says. “Kai said they were here somewhere, but we didn’t know they were so close. The rain must have made them hard to see. They’re old and a little patchy, but we can use them. We explored around for a while last night before we lost the light. The walkways basically run in the same direction as the path, but with a better view.”
He sounds well rested and thrilled to be in the trees again. Both things I’m definitely not. His chipper tone makes me even grumpier.
“Are you coming down?” I ask.
“We thought we’d look around a little more now that it’s light. I’ll be down in a bit.”
Resisting yelling a curt fine, I sort of wave instead, and turn back to help get breakfast ready. At least we’ll have a hearty meal to the start the day; we didn’t manage one yesterday.
Everyone’s coming out of the cave now that the rain has stopped and the sick ones are gone. Derain builds up the fire outside while Amarina says she'll search around for wild greens and herbs to add to some potatoes for a possum stew. When Bear finishes skinning and preparing the animals, I help Conda chop up the greasy meat. But as the possum stews, so do I. Peree and Kai still aren’t back.
They come down soon after, bursting with enthusiasm about the walkways in the trees. We all clean up and pack up so we’re ready to leave as soon as the meal is ready. I’m crouched in a dark corner at the back of the cave repacking my things after changing into my only other dress, when Peree finally comes to find me. I stand when I hear his long stride.
He touches my bird carving as a greeting, and then kisses me. His lips are soft and his breath as honey-sweet as ever, but I don’t melt into him. I’m not in the mood.
“Is anything wrong? You’re quiet,” he says.
“I’m fine.”
Normally, I would reach for him: hold his hands, hug him, put his fingertips on my mouth and smile to reassure him. My hands stay by my sides.
“Fenn, what is it?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m tired. It was a long night.”
He pauses. “About that. I’m sorry I worried you. We weren’t far away when we saw the sick ones coming. We all started running toward the cave, but Kai got tripped up. I stopped to help her, and Bear didn’t hear me yell. I was feeling… strange. So Kai and I climbed into the trees. Shocked the hell out of us to see the walkways up there.”
“Feeling strange? How?”
“The sick ones.” He sounds ashamed, like he should have been stronger, able to resist the poison building in his body.
I reach out and take one of his hands. “Cuda had trouble with them, too.”
“He did? What happened?”
As I tell him, he steps a little closer. Then I step a little closer. And before I know it, our bodies are pressed together and my mouth is on his. Maybe I am in the mood after all. Or maybe I really am helpless—at least when it comes to Peree.
“I missed you last night,” he whispers in my ear after a minute. “I miss being alone with you.”
“Me, too.” I press kisses into the new beard covering his jaw and neck. The stubble scratches my chin. “At least you had Kai to snuggle with.” I’m teasing, but he stiffens.
"What?" I ask.
He kisses me again, pulling me firmly against him as if to stop me from asking more questions.
I lay my hands on his chest and push myself away. “Peree… what?”
He squirms. “She… she… made it clear what she wants last night.”
My hands clench into fists. “And what’s that?”
As if I have to ask. It seems perfectly clear, even for someone who can’t see her face.
“Nothing happened, Fenn. I told her that I love you. That I only want you. I told her she was out of line. But she’s… determined.”
He sounds ashamed again. Why? It’s not his fault Kai can’t take a hint. She can’t even take a full-on rejection. Unless he’s not telling me everything? No. I trust Peree.
I turn my back to him and jam my fingers into my hair. “What is wrong with her?”
He steps in close behind me and extracts my hands, trapping them gently between his. Leaning over my shoulder, he kisses my neck.
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I like Kai, but the way she treats you drives me crazy. I wish she’d be nice.”
“Nice? I’d settle for being ignored again.”
I hate biting my tongue when Kai hurls her mean-spirited barbs. I hate acting like it doesn’t bother me every time she finds a way to be alone with Peree, especially now that I know she’s making her designs on him clear. I guess I don’t have to do those things, but it seems silly and petty to fight with her. We need to focus on getting to the children. Still, I can’t take much more of her.
“Stew’s ready,” Conda yells from outside.
I take a long breath, shake my hair back, and pick up my pack. Peree catches my hand as we duck out of the cave. He rubs circles into my skin with his thumb.
“I’m staying with you today. Kai or Bear or someone else can take point.”
I smile. “I’d like that.”
While we eat, I do my best to shake off the vexation that’s stuck to me like a patch of goat-heads. The possum stew, aromatic with herbs and flavorful despite the limited cooking time, does its best to distract me.
Cuda’s quiet as we eat—no groaning or muttering. It worries me that Peree’s beginning to feel the effects of the poison, too. It must increasingly taint the water as we move farther from Koolkuna. We need to somehow stay out of the sick ones’ way, especially if and when we ever get the children and start back home. Those hopes dim with every passing night.
We hit the trail again, moving faster than we have in a long time with our bellies full, the sky clear, and the path open. Everyone spreads out, but true to his word, Peree stays toward the back with me. He doesn’t let go of my hand. Someone falls in beside us.
Conda greets us.
“How’s Cuda doing?” I ask.
“He has a headache, but he’s not confused or sick anymore. I think he’s humiliated. He doesn’t remember everything about last night, but he knows he went crazy. Doesn’t help that Moray won’t let it drop.”
“Why?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Because it made Cuda look weak or something.” He sounds like he doesn’t agree, but he’s afraid to say so.
After a while, I hear Kai’s voice from the front.
“Look—we can climb that tree right there. Easy. If we go up, we won’t have to worry about the runa, and we’ll have a better view of where we’re going. We should be getting close to the Cloister now.”
Amarina raises her voice to be heard as we walk. “Kaiya feels we should use the walkways in the trees. What do the rest of you think?”
My hand strays to my stomach at the thought.
“Let’s do it,” Cuda says right away. I can’t blame him.
“Might be able to find more food up there," Moray says. "That possum hit the spot.”
Peree doesn’t speak. I know he’d rather be in the trees.
The idea of battling my tree-sickness all day makes me cringe, but I’ll do what the group thinks is best. I’m about to say so, when a harsh smell darts into my nose and mouth. I cough, and pull Peree to a stop.
“I smell them again. The Sisters. I haven’t been able to since yesterday, before the rain.”
I hear people sniffing the air.
“I can’t smell it yet,” Bear says.
“Maybe we should stay on the ground so we can follow it,” I suggest.
Kai makes a sound of disbelief. “You really can’t handle being in the trees, can you?”
My gut clenches. “It’s true I don’t like heights, but I’ll go if that’s what the rest of you want to do. I just think we have an open path, good weather, and a way to keep track of the Sisters down here. Shouldn’t we stay on the ground?”
“Most of us can see better from the trees.” Her voice has a nasty edge.
Heat creeps into my cheeks. “So? It’s not like your eyes have done us much good finding them so far.”
“Back up, boys,” Moray says. “The claws are coming out.”
“Maybe half the group can go up and half stay down here,” Conda suggests.
“No,” Derain says. “We should stay together. We will need numbers if we find the Sisters.”
“We should use the walkways,” Kai says again. “There’s no sense in following someone who can’t even see her own hand in front of her face.”
My mouth drops open, but words fail me.
“Kaiya!” Amarina admonishes.
“Kai draws first blood,” Moray says in a theatrical whisper.
“What?” Kai says. “She’s Sightless.”
“That’s enough.” Peree sounds irate. “Don’t say another word.”
“We’re making good time. We should stay on the ground like Fenn said," Bear says.
“We can move up to the trees later if necessary,” Amarina says.
Peree puts an arm around me. “Agreed.”
I appreciate their support, but my limbs are still frozen with shock and fury.
Kai huffs and stamps away down the path. If I’m lucky, she’ll keep on going right off a cliff. I sure wouldn’t shed any tears. Lifting my chin, I try to keep my pride from dribbling away as I relive the moment over and over, thinking of a hundred different comebacks now that it’s too late.
The path runs in a uphill direction through the morning, and I continue to smell the Sisters’ abrasive scent. Eventually Bear picks up on it, too. It seems like it has set up camp in my nose and throat, which makes me hope we might be closing in on the Sisters. But other than the smell, and an occasional footprint in the mud the others spot—which may or may not be our quarry—there’s no evidence they’ve been here.
We join the river Restless again in the afternoon. It hums as we draw near, as if welcoming us back. Leaving the forest behind us, we stop to rest beside the river for a few minutes in the warmest part of the afternoon. A breeze blows my hair back as we stand on rocks that must overlook the water. I hear it running close, some distance below our feet. Discarding my pack and walking stick, I sink down to the rocks and dangle my legs over the edge.
Taking slow, cleansing breaths, I try to dispel the lingering bad feelings Kai brought on. I’ve been alternating between determining to ignore her, and desiring to have it out with her once and for all. But I’m not sure what confronting her would accomplish. She won’t engage with me in any meaningful way, and she’s bound to say something else that hurts and embarrasses me. If only I didn’t care.
Peree touches my shoulder. “There’s a trail down to the river, but it’s pretty rocky and steep. The others are going down to fill their drinking sacks. Can I take yours for you?”
I’m happy to let him, if only to have a few minutes to myself. He takes my sack and walks away to my right, his footsteps fading as he descends down the trail. I lean back on my hands, close my eyes, and enjoy the swaddling warmth of the sun. Pressing my palms into the cool, bumpy rock under me, I wish it could tell me who passed by before us. Kora, were you here? There’s no answer.
The river skips and splashes below my feet, playing games with itself. The others talk, their voices rising from down beside the river. There’s a splash, and someone laughs. Maybe I should pick my way down and try to clean up. The driving rain helped a little, but our group’s collective odor is increasingly like an aging compost pile. Cud
a is particularly bad. From the whiffs I get of myself, I shouldn’t talk.
My greasy hair falls forward over one shoulder as the wind shifts. The breeze was coming from the river, but now it tumbles from the forest behind my back.
I startle. The Sisters’ smell is much stronger. And there’s a sound with it, one that sends my pulse galloping.
Quiet footfalls—many of them—charging straight for me.
Chapter Thirteen
Someone grabs me from behind, fumbling for my mouth with a coarse hand. A man’s hand, from the size.
He drags me silently away from the edge. I struggle, but his grip is too powerful to break. I scream; there’s little sound. Others move around me, staying quiet. I thrash at first, and then I go still.
When the man’s hand loosens a little, I slide Peree’s knife from my pocket, twist halfway around, and drive the blade into some tender part of him. He howls and lets me go. I leap to my feet, brandishing my knife, and shout for help.
“Fenn?” Peree yells from down by the water, desperately far away. “Fenn!”
My breath burns in and out of my chest. My muscles flex, ready to send me flying in one direction or another, but I don’t know the contours of the bluff we’re on. Running anywhere except straight at my attacker could send me plunging over the edge into the river, or worse, the rocks below. I crouch with my back to the water, swinging the knife wildly to keep the man away.
“Sightless?” he growls to himself. He sounds surprised—and in pain. Other attackers run toward the trail my group took down to the Restless. Abandoning stealth, their feet slap the ground as they move.
“Peree, they’re coming!” I call.
There’s a bellow from the head of the trail—Derain, I think. Shouts and grunts and hollering follows him. The man in front of me wastes no time in clenching my wrist. Writhing away from him, an animal in a trap, I almost drop the knife.
“Let her go!” Peree’s voice comes from somewhere near the trail.
An arrow whistles past my face a moment later, followed by a solid-sounding thwack. The man screams in earnest and releases my wrist. I scramble away on all fours, using both hands and feet to keep from plunging over the edge of the rocks.