by Ryan Casey
Something was wrong.
She was so caught in her thoughts that it took her a few seconds to see the two people walking towards her in the distance.
At first, she pointed the gun and went to pull the trigger, a reaction that scared her more than it did reassure her.
Then she realised she knew one of these people.
There was a woman. Dark hair. Short. She didn’t recognise her.
But the man…
The man was Will.
He had his hand raised. In it, a gun. It was strange that he was on his own. Or at least, without the majority of Stu’s group with him. Maybe something had happened on the road. Hailey had kind of been expecting that… but she didn’t expect Will to be the one still standing.
“I don’t want trouble,” Will shouted. And he did shout. More assertive, more composed than she’d ever heard him. In truth, he struck her as a little meek and detached—aloof even—when she’d last seen him. “I don’t want any conflict. What I want is your help.”
Hailey narrowed her eyes. She tightened her finger on the trigger. She heard voices as the rest of this camp came out to see what was happening. “Where’s Stu?”
“Stu took every one of your people back to the barracks where I’m from. He got them there safely. You don’t have to worry about Stu.”
He paused. Nobody said a thing. Eventually, it was Hailey who broke the silence.
“So why are you here?”
Will paused for a few seconds. Then eventually, he lowered his gun. “I’m here because Stu told me he’d slaughter every one of my people if I didn’t leave my wife. My child.”
There was a pause then. A few gasps of horror.
“Stu wouldn’t do that,” someone shouted.
“Screw this guy. He’s trying to turn us against Stu!”
“I know how this sounds,” Will interrupted, right at the gates now. “But I’m here because it’s the truth. I wouldn’t ask for your help if I didn’t need it. I just… I want you to join me. To go back to the barracks with me. I want you to be by my side.”
There were a few bemused laughs. A few whispers of suspicion.
But Hailey couldn’t help wondering…
“I don’t know if you’ve seen Stu the way I’ve seen him. Maybe I’m just looking at him through biased eyes. But… but any of you’ve seen him snap as I have—make the threat like I have—then you have to know there’s a real risk he’s going to do something to my people back home. And I don’t want that to happen.”
Hailey heard more grumbles. She saw a couple of people walking towards the gate. She knew they were going to take Will out, given a chance.
“I know it’s not easy, giving up everything you believed about someone. This isn’t easy for me either. For so long, I’ve been telling myself I could get by in this world with just my family. But now I’m seeing that’s not true. There needs to be more of us. We do need to be together. So stand with me and see how Stu reacts. Because right now, he won’t let me see my family, and he’s threatened to kill people if I ever show my face again.”
Hailey heard the gates open. She saw people walking out, iron bars in hand.
“Please,” Will said, looking up at Hailey. “Someone has to have seen how he can be. Someone has to believe me.”
The flashbacks sparked then, as the two men—Bill and Jamie—lifted their crowbars.
All of it came to Hailey in a devastating blow.
“Wait,” she shouted.
Jamie and Bill stopped. They looked up at Hailey, frowning. “What’s your problem?”
Hailey paused. She didn’t know what to say or how to say it. Just that she had to. “I’ve seen what he can be like. I’ve seen… I’ve seen Stu do things. Heard him order me to kill people. I’ve seen what he can be like when he wants something and…”
She paused again. She could see the hope rising on Will and his friend’s faces.
“I’ve seen what he can be. I believe Will.”
There was more of a pause. More bemusement. More uncertainty within the group.
“So what does this mean?” Jamie asked.
Hailey walked down from the side of the wall. She stepped out of the gate, past the people, over to Will and the woman.
She looked into Will’s eyes, and she didn’t see a monster. She didn’t see a liar. She saw a man who wanted to be with his family and had almost thrown everything away when he realised he couldn’t be back with them.
She saw a man who’d gone to the ends of the earth for his wife and his daughter.
She saw a man she wanted to help.
“We’re going to help Will,” she said.
Gasps. Whispers.
“What?”
She looked around at all of these people, and she saw then that they looked at her as if she was a leader now.
“We’re going to help Will. We’re going to go to the barracks. And we’re going to talk with Stu.”
“But this is bullsh—”
“If it is bullshit, then we won’t have a problem. Stu will be fine with us. But don’t pretend you haven’t seen it just because you believe he keeps us safe. We’ve all seen what he’s capable of.”
A few nods. A few understanding glances.
Hailey looked back at Will and held out a hand.
“We’ll help you.”
Will put his hand in hers.
And at that moment, for the first time in a long time, as I put my hand in this woman’s, I realised trust was stronger than I’d ever believed.
Chapter Forty
Kerry held her daughter in her arms, but she knew something was wrong. Very wrong.
It was Will. She hadn’t seen him since she’d arrived here at the barracks four days ago. She’d confronted Stu about it a couple of times, but he’d simply dismissed her, told her that he probably decided to take off now he’d got Kerry back to her daughter. He was a good man, Stu insisted. He probably just realised there was no place for him here now that they had their perfect, happy family.
But Kerry didn’t want that to be the case. She wanted Will to have a place here. Sure, the pair of them were finished, and they weren’t getting back together anytime soon. Love had run its course there, where it was concerned.
But Kerry wanted Will here because he was Olivia’s father. Besides, Bouncer had gone too, which meant that they were going to be without a key member of their family.
Sure, the time she’d spent with Stu was nice. Perhaps too brief to be talking about “love” in such lofty ways Stu did, but a change of world circumstances could do that, Kerry was sure. And of course, it was amazing to be back with her beautiful daughter.
But it wasn’t complete. As long as Will and Bouncer weren’t here, that constant reminder of their absence would linger. As long as her, Stu, and Olivia pretended to be a nice, happy family, there would always be that voice whispering “what if?” in Kerry’s ear.
She needed to find out what had happened to Will. And this time, she wanted the truth.
She saw Stu in the yard of the barracks speaking to a couple of their people, Carter and Sabz. To be honest, Kerry had never really liked Carter. He seemed a bit of a leech, who’d do anything Stu asked without question. Stu told her he was just loyal. He’d lost a lot, so it felt good for him to have some extended duties. Gave him a sense of importance. And she could kind of get that. After all, anyone could do with some extra sense of importance and responsibility in this world.
What she didn’t like was the way Carter looked at her sometimes. When she’d first told Stu he looked at her funnily, he’d laughed and said he probably just had a crush on her.
Kerry left it at that. She didn’t tell Stu how exactly he was looking at her.
Like he was jealous. Of her.
Like he detested that she’d come between Stu and him.
Maybe it was just her mind playing tricks.
Maybe.
She took a deep breath and walked towards Stu. She wanted to ask him, st
raight up, about Will, especially when he was in front of other people. She’d left Olivia inside. Olivia was missing her dad and Bouncer, too. She hated that she’d spent all that time without her mother only to have her father disappear just moments after they’d reunited.
And Kerry couldn’t help thinking back to the look on Stu’s face when she’d found Will locked away in that room back at the industrial site.
For a moment, she’d considered the horrible possibility that Stu knew exactly who he was and knew exactly what he was doing…
“Stu?” Kerry said.
Stu turned around from Carter—who gave her the death stare—and Sabz. “You okay?”
“We need to talk.”
Stu looked back at Carter and Paul and scratched the back of his head. “Can’t right now. Maybe if—”
“Stu, what happened to Will?”
Silence followed. A long, drawn out silence. Sure, life went on all around them, as people integrated within this new home—for however long it would be their home. But right here, right now, the silence was painful.
Stu narrowed his eyes. “I told you. He just—”
“And I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you.”
Kerry wasn’t sure where she’d mustered up the courage to say those words. In a way, since she’d discovered Will was still alive, and he’d brought her daughter all this way, she’d changed her opinions of her ex-husband. He wasn’t the man who sulked away from conflict after all. He wasn’t the man that just gave up. He was a fighter.
And that’s why this went against his character.
Stu looked back at Carter and Sabz. “Give us a second.”
“You don’t have to give us a second,” Kerry said, smiling at the pair. “There’s nothing to be secretive about. What happened to Will?”
Stu didn’t say a thing, which got Kerry’s alarm bells ringing. He always had an answer for everything. Part of why she’d fallen for him.
“How about you?” she asked, looking at Carter. “Do you know what happened to Will?”
Carter didn’t nod. He didn’t shake his head. He just glanced at Stu for approval.
Kerry brushed back her hair. “Okay. So something definitely happened that you aren’t telling me about.”
“You’re being paranoid.”
“Don’t say that to me,” Kerry said, raising her voice. “Don’t you dare say that.”
More silence followed although it was genuine now, as people were looking.
“We make it all this way. We get here, and I get back to my daughter. And you’re trying to tell me Will just disappeared?”
Stu shrugged, but he was blushing. “I know as much as you do.”
“Bullshit,” Kerry spat. “You killed him, didn’t you?”
Stu tilted his head back and frowned. “You want to think about what you’re saying, woman.”
“‘Woman’? Oh, wow. You’re really showing your true colours now.”
“I think you should go inside and get a breather.”
“Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d like that a lot if I just went inside and gave you a chance to come up with some elaborate excuse for why—”
“He walked away.”
Kerry stopped. “What?”
“He walked away because he couldn’t stand the sight of the pair of us together. He thought me holding Olivia in my arms was disgusting. And he thought you were disgusting. So he walked away. Happy now?”
Stu’s voice echoed around Kerry’s mind. He’d flipped in a way that she’d never seen him flip before. Or maybe she had, and she’d just been too focused on having someone there for her that she hadn’t really seen it.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got something to discuss.”
He leaned over, kissed Kerry’s cheek, then pulled away and smiled. “Looking forward to dinner.”
Kerry stood and watched Stu as he returned to his conversation with Carter and Sabz.
She stood there, totally silent, as the implications of Stu’s words—his snap in temper—reverberated around her body.
Something was wrong.
Something was desperately wrong.
For the first time in Stu’s company, she didn’t feel safe.
She had to get away.
Chapter Forty-One
I knew I was getting closer to home again.
We’d been walking another two days, and to be honest, I was exhausted. The weather was picking up. We’d managed to avoid the rain. But still, this journey wasn’t easy, especially when you’d made it so damned many times lately.
But my exhaustion was overshadowed by my energy of what and who I was going to find. Of what I was doing. At the goal I held close to my chest, soon to be realised.
I was taking Stu’s people—all of them—back to the barracks, and I was going to find a place there, whether Stu liked it or not.
Or he could straight up kill me in front of my family and his people and make them realise just what he was capable of.
I hoped he wasn’t capable of anything like that. More for my family’s sake than my own. But I still had to be prepared for anything.
The route was silent once more. Too silent. To be honest, the wider group hadn’t exchanged much in the way of conversation. There was a lot of blind faith and hope prevalent. I’d spoken to Hailey—the woman who’d been guarding the wall—a little, though. It felt like she was my best go-between, and she seemed like she understood where I was coming from on the topic of Stu.
It was after a few hours on that final day of walking—that fateful final day—that one of the members of Stu’s old group collapsed.
I ran over to him.
“What happened?”
“Steve. Wake up. Wake up!”
“Whoah,” I said, putting my hand on the man—Simon’s—shoulder. “What happened here?”
Simon was in tears. “He just fell. He just fell and I—I don’t think he’s breathing. Please. Help me out here. Please.”
I looked at Steve’s fallen body. Part of the instinct inside me told me that this was just an unnecessary distraction and that we could do without something like this right now.
But that newer, louder voice in my head told me that Steve needed help. And I was going to give him the help he needed.
“Help me roll him onto his back.”
Simon and I rolled Steve onto his back. Then, I retraced my CPR knowledge. I opened his mouth, and then put a hand on his forehead and two fingers under his chin. I gently tilted his head back and lifted his chin.
“Is he breathing?” someone in the background asked.
I kept his head tilted and chin lifted and watched his chest. I moved my face close to him, but I couldn’t feel any breaths. It was time for cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
I kneeled down further towards him, put a heel of my hand on the edge of their breastbone, right in the centre of their chest. Then, I put the heel of my other hand on top of the first and interlocked my fingers, keeping the fingers off the ribs. I leaned over Steve, arms straight and pressed down on the breastbone by about five centimetres.
“Is he breathing?”
In my head, I thought about the song Staying Alive. A little trick I’d once learned was that chest compressions should be given to the speed of the song, around thirty times. I kept my focus, drowning out all the outside attention and distractions.
Then, I pinched Steve’s nose firmly closed, took a deep breath and sealed my lips around his mouth.
I blew into his mouth until his chest rose, pulled away my mouth and let the chest fall.
Then I repeated again.
Still nothing.
“Oh God,” Simon said. “He’s gone. He’s gone, hasn’t he?”
Part of me wanted to give up. I was in a rush to get back home. I had family back there who were most important to me.
But no.
That wasn’t true anymore.
I saw where I’d been going wrong for so, so long. My disdain for people
who weren’t immediately family members. My lack of empathy towards those who I didn’t consider closest to me.
But that had changed now.
It’d changed because I saw I needed that empathy if I wanted to survive this world and if I wanted others to survive in this world.
People needed to look out for each other. That was the new normal.
“He’s not gone yet,” I said.
I tried again with the compressions, the sound of Staying Alive running through my head. I closed my eyes, and I hoped—prayed—that Steve pulled through. He was one of us now. He was going to be a part of our new future. I couldn’t have anyone dying. I wasn’t going to allow it.
I breathed into his mouth again.
Then again.
Still, nothing.
I heard crying. The morale of the group and the trust of the group had been punctured in one cruel, swift burst.
But I still wasn’t giving up.
I went at the chest compressions again. This time, I took a risk and pushed harder, further. Steve was looking pale already. I didn’t know what exactly had happened to him. He was in his forties. Cardiac? Past issues? DIdn’t matter right now. What mattered was I brought him back.
I finished my compressions again then put my lips on his.
Please. Please wake up. Please.
Then I breathed.
Nothing.
I breathed again.
Still nothing.
I pulled away. Steve was totally still. Simon was crying even harder, holding someone.
I went to do the compressions when I felt Kesha’s hand on my shoulder.
“It’s okay, Will. He’s… he’s gone now. You’ve done what you could for him. You tried.”
I looked down, and I felt like I’d failed. Like I’d let down these people. Betrayed them.
And then more of them walked up to me.
“You gave it your best shot,” Hailey said.
Rafael smiled defeatedly. “I’m sorry, man. I’m so sorry.”
I could hear the gratitude in the voices of these people, and that’s when I really realised that we were together now. That they had my back.