by RH Tucker
Chapter 12
Emma
I'd be lying if I said I'm not disappointed for most of the weekend. It's been a week of texting back and forth but on Saturday, my friend … texting friend … boyfriend … Oh God, I don’t even know what to call him, told me he was going out of town for most of the weekend and wouldn't be back until Sunday evening when he was going to the beach party. Even though I replied with something casual, the question crossed my mind; should we finally meet?
I end up going to the mall with Jen, and we hit up the art supply store since I need some new paints and brushes. Lana decides to meet us at the mall, and of course, the topic comes back to Big Baller.
“Okay,” she says as we walked into H&M. “I’ve been dying to know. Just how well do you know this guy? You clammed up pretty tight during lunch.”
“Yeah, what was that about?” Jen asks, browsing through a clothing rack.
“He mentioned something about a beach party this weekend,” I say, feeling more comfortable talking about it. “He said if he knew me, he’d invite me.”
"Emma!" Jen shouts, making a couple of ladies across the store turn and stare at us. "He brought it up again. You need to figure this out quickly."
I roll my eyes at her, as Lana asks what she means.
“He already asked her out once. Like, not so much point blank, but he definitely put it on the table. And then Emma freaked out.”
“I did not freak out.” I scowl at her.
"Really? You seemed freaked out when you got to my car after school."
“Okay, I freaked out a little. But, I’ll have you know, I didn’t freak out this time. Well, maybe a little, but I answered by the end of lunch. I even asked for a selfie.” I smile at what I consider a brash move, though I’m sure Jen would’ve asked for much more than that.
“Okay.” She smiles and resumes looking at clothes. “That’s not bad. What’d he say?”
"Not until I send him one." I want to sound happy about it, and I am. But just thinking about his answer, makes me wonder about just what I'm doing, and how long I'm going to keep this up. He seems kind and genuine, and he does seem to like me. If I want to try and have a real relationship, I have to meet him. And I don’t want to wait too long because even if he seems nice right now, boys are boys, right? How long will he wait until he decides that whatever we’re doing just isn’t worth it? Trying to avoid the thought, I turn around and start rummaging through a rack of clearance items.
“Hey, you never answered my question though.” Lana looks over at me.
“What question?”
“How well do you know him?”
"She should know him like the back of her hand, the number of texts they've been sending each other," Jen says, teasing me with a smile.
"Thanks." I shoot her an annoyed look. "Pretty well. I mean, we've covered all the essentials."
“His favorite food?” Lana asks.
“Spaghetti.”
“Color?”
“Green.”
“Favorite Band?”
“Empire of the Sun, which is mine too. How crazy is that?” I smile, remembering when we went over our favorite songs from them.
“What about secrets?” Lana lifts an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
“You guys message a lot, so you’ve got the surface stuff down. But have you told each other any secrets?” The way she sounds and looks when she says the word ‘secret’, is both flirty and roguish.
“I don’t understand.”
Jen walks over to me, draping her arm over my shoulder while looking at Lana. “Lan, this is Emma, remember? Our sweet little artist, who’s never even–”
“Jen!” I shoot her an angry look.
I've kissed a boy before. Two, as a matter of fact. Because Sophomore year, Jen dared me to at a party she was having. So, I know she isn't going to say I've never kissed anyone before. That leaves two options. Either she'll say something that would genuinely make my face turn red with embarrassment because both Jen and Lana are much more experienced with boys then me, or she'll say I've never had a boyfriend before. Which is true, but not something I'd like publicly paraded around while I'm shopping.
As I stop her from embarrassing me, worry starts to fill up inside. What if I meet this guy and I'm horrible at dating? What if I'm awful at kissing, or just terrible at being a girlfriend?
"I don't mean a bad secret or anything like that," Lana explains. "I just mean, you know, you guys talk a lot. Once you get to that certain level of comfortableness, you'll confess things to one another. It doesn't have to be huge or life-changing. It's just, you know, something between you two."
I nod my head as I stare at the pants I'm holding, thinking over her words. We've shared a lot of stuff. Some of it was trivial, and other things were more meaningful. He told me his mom raised him and that it was really difficult when his grandmother died three years ago because that was the only other family he was close to. But it didn't seem like a secret. It was just the path our conversation went down.
As my mind wonders what I could confide in him with, I hear a cackle of laughs coming from the other side of the store and have to force myself not to gag. Sarah Donovan and her horde of cheerleader friends. I look over the rack of clothes and watch as they joke with each other, near the bikinis. Jen and Lana follow my eye line, and we all stare at them, eavesdropping on their conversation.
"Absolutely," one of them gushes, as Sarah holds up a bikini top over her shirt. "Sarah, you'll look freaking hot in that."
“Won’t it be cold?” another of her friends adds.
“That’s the point.” Sarah looks at the bikini once more and then flings it over her arm. “Hopefully I get Carter to warm me up.”
They all snicker and move to another table of clothes. I nod to Jen and Lana, and we leave the store.
“Oh, barf!” Jen says as we walk out. Then, in a high-pitched tone, doing a horrible Sarah imitation, she flails her arms in the air. “I want Carter Dixon to warm me up. And by that, I mean jump my bones. Like at homecoming!”
We all start laughing when I'm reminded of Carter in history class. "That skeez is always checking me out in history." Lana and Jen both exchange looks, then stare at me. "What?"
“Hate to break it to you, Emma, but a lot of guys check you out at school.” Lana smirks.
“Especially, those days you like to get dressed up in your skirts.” Jen lets out a purring sound and acts like she’s clawing at me.
“Fine, whatever. But still, like, at least have some decency about it. Look at me when I’m not looking, like the other perverts in school.”
“He is fine though,” Jen says.
“Mmm hmm,” Lana adds, catching us both off guard, as we look at her. “What? Micah’s friends with Taylor. We’ve gone to a couple of their basketball games this year.”
“So, what?” Jen wiggles her eyebrows, elbowing her in the side. “When Micah gets up to use the bathroom, you just fantasize about the varsity basketball team?”
Lana smiles, raising her chin in confidence. “Hey, just because I have my dinner, doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.”
We all unleash a flurry of laughs again, making our way to another store. As we continue to window shop, I'm hit with an idea. Maybe something that will give me a firm yes or no on whether I should advance this and finally meet him, or just drop it all together. I think we need to share a secret.
Chapter 13
Carter
We have a basketball tournament over the weekend, so I tell Emerald my text messages will probably be sporadic. When she replied about sending her a selfie from the beach party, I wanted to say to her we should finally meet. But I don't know how to bring it up without making it seem weird. If she did freak out that last time I brought it up, I need to tread lightly.
The basketball tournament is in Bakersfield, and even though we win a game, we don't play very well. The only good thing about it is that since it's a tourna
ment, it doesn't count against out win/loss record, so we still have a chance at making the playoffs. Most of us are bummed on the bus ride home, but that doesn’t stop Jeremy from bringing up Tamara’s beach party.
“Dude, I just want to go home.”
“Don’t be lame,” Jeremy says as he munches on some chips. “It’s the perfect thing to get our mind off this lousy tournament.”
I start to shake my head when Matt chimes in. "Yeah, come on. It's not like you got a girl waiting for you."
I narrow my eyes at him while he chuckles to himself.
Jeremy looks over at me. "I heard Sarah, and her friends are gonna be there."
“Ugh.” I close my eyes, leaning back. “Have at it, bro, she’s more than willing to hook up with anyone.”
"And you would know." I want to argue but know I can't without revealing the truth. "They're gonna have a bonfire, Carter. Perfect lead to warming up the body."
“Come on, man,” Matt says a little lower, leaning back in the seat next to me. “Who knows if you’re even ever going to meet …” He shoots me a confused look. “Damn, what do you even call her?”
“Emerald,” I whisper.
"You got her name? Sounds like a stripper name."
I let out a laugh. “No, man. It’s her handle. Emerald22. I just call her Emerald.”
“Fine.” He lets out a sigh. “But seriously, if she hasn’t brought up meeting you yet and it’s already been a week, how long is this thing going to go on? You willing to date a girl through texting forever?”
It's not like I haven't thought about that. I have. But I'm still not sure what my answer is. If I knew who she was, then it might be different. I'd be able to see her and talk to her. As much as I love learning new things about her and learning who she is, how long can we go on just texting back and forth, not even exchanging names? Matt nudges my arm, handing me a bag of beef jerky.
“Okay,” I answer. “Let’s hit the party tonight. Just promise to try and keep Sarah off my jock. Ever since homecoming, she’s wanted to finish what we started.”
“Hey, you never did answer me about why you guys never finished.” I look at him confused. He knows the story and how we got interrupted. “No, I don’t mean in the bathroom. I just mean, you know, in general?”
I stare at the seat in front of me, thinking about it for a second. I know Matt will get it, so I keep my voice low.
“Was it insanely hot? Yeah. But, dude, the day I asked her to the dance, she already wanted to hook up. Like, literally. She texted me that night. I was the one who said we should wait until we knew each other a little better. Not that I’m not down for a good time, but come on. It just made me wonder who the hell else she’s hooked up with?”
A big reason Matt is my best friend is that we kind of think alike. Most guys would've been totally down to hook up with Sarah that first night. And hey, to each their own. But honestly, I've never been like that, despite the rumors I've embraced.
And the rumors were running rampant through Woodbridge. Everything from how many girls I've been with, to what classrooms we've hooked up in. After homecoming, they went ballistic. It's like one little spark at homecoming unleashed a raging inferno, and I did nothing to quell the flames. I liked that it helped boost my reputation as one of the most popular guys in school. Who cares if Matt and I are the only ones that know the truth. So what, if some people thought it made me a manwhore or some cocky douche. You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
By the time we get back home, the sun is starting to go down. I'm still debating with myself about going to the beach party, but I told Matt I'd pick him up and don't want to hear him complain, so I throw on some shorts and a hoody. It'll probably be a little chilly on the beach, but with the bonfire, the hoodie should be good enough.
We pull into the parking lot and make our way down the sand; the bonfire is already blazing. There are a lot more people than I thought there would be, but I shouldn't be surprised. Tamara's not only popular with a lot of kids in our school, but she's also the type of girl who knows people everywhere. I scan the crowd, looking for a place to hang out when I spot Sarah with a couple of her friends. She's wearing tiny shorts and a pink zip-up hoodie. As soon as she starts to turn her head my direction, I look away, so we don't make eye contact.
“There’s Lucas,” Matt says, pointing over to him, Jeremy, and a few others who are tossing around a glowing football.
After throwing the ball around for a while, we end up back over with the large group. I hear whispers going around about beer that was supposed to show up, but I guess whoever was supposed to bring it either got caught or decided to flake because everyone's either drinking bottled water or soda.
There’s a log set up near the fire, and I take a seat, as Matt goes to grab us a drink. That’s when Sarah plops down next to me.
“Carter,” she says in a high-pitched tone. “I’ve been looking for you.”
I raise my eyebrows, staring at the fire. “Well, here I am.”
I'm trying to not even make eye contact, but I can't help noticing her stand back up and unzip her hoodie. At first, I'm wondering why, because even next to the fire, the breeze over the beach has picked up a little. Then I see why. She ties the hoodie around her waist, and she's wearing a bright, lime green bikini top. She's definitely well endowed, but I know she's not usually that tan, so I'm guessing she went to a tanning salon recently. And as much as I want to look away to avoid any encouragement on her part, I can't. I am a guy, after all.
“I just got this.” She motions to her top as she sits back down next to me. “You like it?”
Trying to regain my focus, I nod casually and look down at the sand. "Yeah, it's nice."
“OMG,” she says, and I cringe. I never understood why some girls do that, abbreviate things as if we’re talking through texts. The thought makes me think of Emerald, but Sarah continues. “It’s so cold out tonight.” She wraps her arms around herself but does it in a way that she’s pushing her boobs out.
I know exactly what she’s doing, so I can’t resist the logical explanation that comes out. “Um, then put your hoodie back on.”
She does that giggle that some girls do when they’re trying to flirt and leans in closer to me. “Mm-mm.” She shakes her head.
I know she's either about to make a move or waiting just long enough for me to, so relief floods through me as I see Matt walking back to us.
Sarah gives me an annoyed look, as I call him over.
“Here.” Matt hands me a soda. “They’re all out of water.”
“Thanks.” I pop it open and take a drink. Matt’s eyes are darting between myself and Sarah, while I’m trying to avoid her.
“Where’s mine?” Sarah looks at Matt.
“Uh …” Matt gives her an unsure look.
“It’s over there.” I point to the cooler on the other side of the group.
I know it’s rude and makes me sound like a dick, but she’s giving me no other choice here.
Sarah plays it off, giggling again, then reaches for my soda. “I don’t want a full one, just a sip.”
I let her take it out of my hand, staring at her in annoyance. Again, she’s playing the game, taking a drink of the soda in the most erotic way possible, letting out a moan, and then hands me back the can. My eyes narrow at her and I hear an uncomfortable cough come from Matt. But it’s all a game. It’s all fake. And realizing that, I know I need to just end it now.
“You drink everything like?”
“Just the stuff I like.” She throws flirty eyes at me.
“Sarah, what is this? Look, I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not into it, okay?”
Instantly, her demeanor changes. She straightens up and stares at me. “What?”
“Seriously.” I wave around the crowd but keep my voice down. “There are a ton of guys here. Just go talk to one of them.” Her mouth drops, before I add, “Sorry.”
I look over at Matt, who’s half amazed an
d half in horror. Sarah stands up, zipping her hoodie back up. “You’re an asshole.”
I should just let her go and ignore it. But the fact that she’s mad at me after she’s been the annoying one this entire time pulls at me.
"Yeah. But I'm an asshole you gave a handjob to. Have a nice night."
The appalled look on her face morphs into pure hatred. "Fuck you."
“Oh, my God, dude,” Matt whispers as she storms away, trying to contain his laughter. “That was unbelievable.”
I just look back at the fire, not feeling good about any of it. I wish I hadn’t said it, even if it is true. I wish I could’ve just been friendly, or at least courteous. I think of Emerald and how she seems so sweet. If she didn’t like someone, she probably wouldn’t try to embarrass them.
“I’m gonna take a walk,” I say, getting up and leaving Matt behind.
As I get further away from the crowd, I pull out my phone and scan the recent text messages I've sent. Maybe tonight's the night I should just put it all out there. Tell her I want to meet and find out just what the hell this thing is between us. Before I can type anything, my phone chirps.
Emerald22: #SecretSunday
I smile, as I reply.
BigBaller27: What does that mean?
Emerald22: Tell me something
Emerald22: Tell me something no one else knows :)
I bite the inside of my lip. This is interesting. But what can I say? I don't have any secrets that Matt doesn't already know.
BigBaller27: My best friend knows most of my secrets
Emerald22: Yeah, so does mine :/
Emerald: Okay, something only your best friend would know ;)