by S. E. Smith
She turned her head and gazed at Jaguin’s peaceful face. She didn’t lie when she told him that she was already on fire. Her feelings for him were different from anything she ever experienced before. He made her want things that she never even thought about. For the first time in her life, she wanted a place to call home, possibly even a family. The plants here were unusual and fascinating. She could spend a lifetime learning about them and still never understand it all.
All through dinner, her heart pounded with nervousness. If that were not enough, a small measure of self-doubt about whether or not she was making the right decision plagued her, as well. Those doubts dissolved the moment he guided her out of the dining room and they stepped out into the garden.
The tender look in Jaguin’s eyes when he reached down to show her the ground cover melted her heart. She wanted him – all of him. Their journey to the forest sealed her decision.
Sara blinked in surprise when she felt Jaguin’s fingers along her cheek. Turning her head back to gaze at him, she saw that he was staring back at her with an assessing gaze. She gave him a tentative smile, unsure of what to do.
“You look deep in thought,” he commented.
“Not really,” Sara murmured, looking upward. “I’ve always loved the early mornings. The colors, the freshness as the world wakes up.”
“Sara, I will not leave you,” Jaguin said, lifting her hand to his lips. “I can feel your fear.”
Sara stiffened for a moment before she sat up. A low rumble escaped Jaguin when the silky cover of the symbiot pooled around her lap. She turned and raised her eyebrow at Jaguin.
“I thought we finally extinguished the fire,” she laughed.
Jaguin sat up and wrapped his arms around her. “Never!” He swore, burying his face in the curve of her shoulder. “We could always greet the day.”
Sara laughed again and scooted off the bed, taking the thin covering with her. She shivered when it moved over her body. For a moment, she forgot that the blanket was actually alive. Dropping it, she bent and picked up her dress.
“Stop it,” she playfully growled when she felt Jaguin press against her. “I need to visit the ladies room. Since I doubt that there is one here, I need to visit a tree. I also need a shower.”
Jaguin sighed and reached for his own clothing. Sara paused, her eyes glued to his body as he pulled on the black trousers he wore last night. She started when he chuckled and tipped her head back to press a hard kiss to her lips.
“You are not making this easy for me,” he replied in a husky tone.
“Jaguin…,” Sara whispered, staring into his eyes.
Jaguin’s gaze softened when he saw the confusion in her gaze. Sara knew he could feel her uncertainty and that made her feel even more vulnerable. She closed her eyes and tilted her cheek into his palm when he slid his hand up to cup it.
“Everything will be well, Sara,” Jaguin promised.
Sara didn’t reply. Instead, she nodded and stepped back to finish getting dressed. Things always appeared different in the daylight – more exposed. Right now, she just needed time. Last night was wonderful, but it also took by her surprise. Abby warned her that the Dragon’s Fire would be intense. It wasn’t the lovemaking that stunned her. No, she thoroughly enjoyed that, finding a sense of fulfillment that she never experienced before. What shocked her were the ash-colored scales that danced along her skin. Her mind immediately went to Melina.
Was it really possible? Could she and Jaguin’s coming together have changed her on a molecular level? It seemed impossible, even though she witnessed the evidence herself.
“How do we get down?” Sara asked, walking over to the edge of the platform and glancing over the side. “Wow! I didn’t realize we were so far up!”
“My symbiot will take us,” Jaguin said as he finished fastening his shirt.
Sara glanced over to where Honey had been, but the bed and blanket were gone. She frowned, glancing around. Her eyes widened when she saw Honey in the shape of a mid-sized transport. A bridge between the seats and the platform suddenly formed.
Jaguin held his hand out to Sara. “After you,” he said with a smile.
Sara shook her head and laughed. “I swear I’ve fallen through the looking glass,” she said, reaching out to hold his hand as she stepped onto the bridge.
A short time later, they were speeding through the forest again. Sara laughed when Honey sped up along the riverbed. Her hair whipped wildly behind her. Lifting her face to the early morning sunlight, she focused on the beauty of the morning and not the shadows that stood waiting on the edge of her consciousness.
*.*.*
Jaguin frowned when he saw Mandra Reykill standing on the balcony when they arrived back at the palace. Mandra had his arms crossed and was staring moodily out over the garden area. He looked up at their approach.
“Jaguin,” Mandra greeted, glancing at Sara and giving her a brief nod of acknowledgement.
“What is wrong?” Jaguin asked with a dark frown.
Mandra glanced at Sara, his gaze pausing on the mark on her neck. A shimmer of amusement crossed his face and he reached out to slap Jaguin on the arm. Jaguin’s own expression relaxed when he saw the smile on his friend’s face.
“It is good to see you have claimed your true mate. Creon told me about your difficulty controlling your dragon. Has it had a chance to take his mate yet?” Mandra asked with a curious look at Sara.
Sara’s eyes flashed. “That is none of your damn business,” she snapped.
“No, it isn’t,” a feminine voice behind the huge male stated dryly.
Jaguin couldn’t quite hide the grin when Mandra grimaced. He tilted to the side to look at the woman coming down the steps. His gaze flickered back to Mandra when he slowly turned and gave the woman a huge smile.
“Hello, Ariel,” Jaguin greeted.
“Hi, Jaguin,” Ariel responded with a grin. She stopped next to Mandra and threaded her arm through the other warrior’s bent arm. “Hi, I’m Ariel.”
Sara’s eyes widened. She gave Ariel a tentative smile. Her gaze moved back and forth between the slender woman and the huge male next to her.
“Hi,” Sara replied, self-consciously fingering the material of her gown. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to return to my room. I’ll see you later.”
“Sara,” Jaguin started to say.
He paused when Mandra stepped forward and touched his arm. Irritation flashed through him before he concealed it. He knew that Mandra would not have stopped him if it wasn’t important.
“There is a meeting,” Mandra said. “We need you there.”
Jaguin glanced back to where Sara had vanished through the doorway. Ariel quietly excused herself. Jaguin suspected Mandra’s mate knew of his concern for leaving Sara so soon after their mating.
“She has not shifted yet,” Jaguin finally said, turning to stare at Mandra.
“Our mates will stay with her and the other female,” Mandra assured him. “Come.”
Jaguin nodded, glancing once more toward the doors before he turned away. “What has happened?”
Chapter 17
Sara turned away from the window when she heard a knock on the door to her and Emma’s living quarters. She brushed her hand over Honey’s silky head in reassurance. The symbiot had been her constant companion the minute she stepped out of the shower.
Drawing in a deep breath, Sara thought about everything that happened since she, Jaguin and Honey returned earlier. It had been almost six hours since they returned to the palace. She had quickly showered and changed back into the jeans and soft pink T-shirt. It felt good to be back in something that she felt more comfortable wearing.
Abby and the woman she met earlier, Ariel, came by shortly after she had cleaned up to say that she and Emma would have to remain in their suite of rooms for a few days.
“Unfortunately, even this world has its problems,” Abby explained.
“Yeah, a bad-ass S.O.B. that needs his balls roas
ted over an open fire, preferably while they are still attached,” Ariel retorted.
“I’m afraid I have to agree with Ariel this time,” Abby replied quietly.
Sara listened as Abby and Ariel explained what was going on. It appeared that there were evil men in every world, even alien ones. Shortly afterward, Abby and Ariel excused themselves. Sara, exhausted from the night before, decided she would try to rest.
She should have known better. Even as exhausted as she was, the nightmares still came. Fearful of distracting Jaguin, she forced herself back to consciousness and rose.
She jerked when she heard the sound of a knock again. A quick glance showed her that Emma had disappeared into her rooms again. Between stressher nightmares and her worry for Emma, Sara felt like she was walking a tightrope that was beginning to fray in the storm.
Walking over to the door, she opened it. Her gaze immediately froze on Jaguin. His hair was pulled back, but she could see that it was slightly wet. She gripped the door when her body swayed toward his.
“Hi,” Sara whispered, staring up at him.
“You look tired,” Jaguin said, reaching out to touch her cheek. “I felt your withdrawal earlier.”
“I’m fine,” she said, biting her lip.
Sara glanced at Gunner, who was standing back trying to look at everything but them. She took a step back and motioned for them to come into the room. Jaguin stepped through, followed by Gunner.
“Where’s Audrey?” Sara asked when Gunner stepped by her.
A flash of pain darkened Gunner’s eyes before he shrugged. He continued in the room before he glanced at her again. She could see the same teasing smile on his lips that he normally wore when she saw him.
“She is with Tandor going over some medical information,” Gunner replied. “She will be here shortly. Where is the other female?”
Sara wrapped her arms around her waist for a moment before she dropped them when she saw Jaguin frown. She could see the worry in his eyes. She gave him a tight smile and shook her head, glancing briefly at Gunner before she returned his gaze.
“Emma is in her room. She isn’t comfortable being around others,” Sara explained.
“That is not good for her,” Gunner said with a frown. “She must learn to accept her new life.”
Sara stiffened and glared at Gunner. “What would you know about what it is like to have to accept a new life?” She asked heatedly as she took a step toward him. “What do you know about being ripped from everything you’ve ever known and taken to not only a new life, but an alien world when you didn’t even know aliens existed? How would you feel if you had to leave everything and everyone you knew and loved behind?”
Gunner frowned. “Why would you want to remain on a world where you were tortured by the men?” He asked.
“Gunner!” Jaguin’s sharp tone mixed with Audrey’s.
Sara stumbled backwards and paled. She clenched her trembling fingers to conceal her distress. She shook her head at Jaguin when he took a step toward her.
“Let me talk to her,” Audrey said in a gentle voice, closing the door behind her. “You talk to Warrior man.”
“Warrior man? I attacked Tandor once! Just once!” Gunner muttered with a groan, running a hand through his hair. “I swear that female has more names for me than my own mother did when I was growing up.”
Sara bowed her head and walked over to the window, shutting the two men out. She could feel Jaguin’s concerned gaze on her. As much as she wanted to open her heart and mind to him, she felt too frazzled to handle it.
“Where’s Emma?” Audrey asked in a quiet voice, walking up to stand next to her.
“Emma doesn’t like it when others are around,” Sara replied in a quiet tone. “Those are the two that brought us aboard the warship. They were there when we…” Sara’s voice broke.
“I remember,” Audrey replied in a gentle tone. “You’re exhausted, Sara. Are you still not sleeping?”
Sara shook her head. “I’m sorry, Audrey. I’m so exhausted that I just can’t think straight. I’d hoped after….” Her voice faded and she glanced over to where Jaguin and Gunner were quietly talking. “I’d hoped things wouldn’t be so bad. I really wanted to start over, but every time I close my eyes….” Sara turned to look at Audrey. “Will it ever get better? I’m not the only one having trouble, so is Emma. I’m worried about her. She seems even more withdrawn than ever.”
“It will take time, for both of you. What you went through isn’t something that you can just shut off,” Audrey said soothingly. “I worry that Emma isn’t showing any improvement, though. I hoped that she would begin to show some progress by now.”
“It’s hard,” Sara whispered, tears burning her eyes. “I never used to be afraid. Now… Now, I don’t like being around other… people. I can understand where Emma is coming from.” Sara bowed her head.
Audrey touched Sara’s arm. “Sara, you and Emma have been through a very traumatic experience. I wouldn’t be surprised if you both weren’t suffering from some form of PTSD. There is nothing to be ashamed of,” Audrey assured her.
“What is PTSD?” Jaguin demanded, stepping closer. His gaze was glued to Sara’s face. “You said you were fine. I thought my symbiot healed your wounds. Your head is not hurting again, is it?”
“Do you mind?” Sara hissed in aggravation, embarrassed that he overheard their conversation when she was trying to spare him her emotional baggage. “I was having a private conversation and you were not invited to participate!”
Sara felt a wave of frustration when Jaguin ignored her and turned to glare at Audrey. “Do you know how to heal this PTSD?” He demanded.
“This is a private conversation between myself and Sara, but I will explain what PTSD is. It stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It often occurs after an individual has suffered a terrifying ordeal, often from physical harm or the threat of physical harm. What Emma and Sara went through would definitely classify as such an ordeal,” Audrey said in a cool, calm tone.
“Audrey, I don’t want to talk about it. Especially with him here,” Sara whispered in a strained voice filled with exhaustion, glancing toward Gunner, who stood watching them.
“I was there, Sara,” Jaguin said tightly, not realizing that she wasn’t looking at him, but at Gunner. “I saw what was done to you.”
Sara’s eyes darkened and for a moment it was as if her exhausted mind took her back to the damp prison cell in the jungles of Columbia. The world around her melted for that fraction of a second and she could once again hear Cuello’s chilling laughter as he order his henchman to whip her.
A low, guttural cry escaped her and Sara stumbled backwards, shaking her head. She felt as if she were suffocating when Jaguin’s distressed face came back into view. This time she knew that she was not successful in keeping the images to herself. Sara’s body shook and she shook her head when he took a step toward her. Afraid of her inability to control the horrible memories, Sara turned and bolted for her room.
“Sara!” Jaguin called after her. “Don’t!”
“Enough!” Audrey ordered, stepping between him and Sara’s fleeing form. She placed her hand on Jaguin’s chest and shook her head. “I’ll go to her. You two… just stay here and make sure no one takes the silverware.”
*.*.*
Jaguin watched as Audrey followed Sara. He knew the human doctor did not understand that he knew more than she did about the nightmares that Sara was having, yet something told him that she might be able to help Sara in a way he could not. He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Give her time. You were there. You know what was done to her.” Gunner murmured.
“But not everything,” Jaguin replied in a quiet voice. “I don’t know everything that was done to her. She had shown me small fragments of what happened to her, Gunner, but there is more. I can help her if she would let me. Why can she not trust me to protect her? She is ashamed of her fears, but shouldn’t be. If I knew what happe
ned, I could take the burden from her mind.”
“You may never know,” Gunner replied in a quiet, sympathetic tone. “Just accept and support her. That is all you can do.”
“I will be there for her, even if she refuses to accept me,” Jaguin whispered, turning to look dejectedly at his friend. “I thought last night would have shown her how I feel about her.”
Gunner suddenly grinned and slapped Jaguin on the shoulder. “Since when have you ever accepted defeat?” He demanded with a raised eyebrow. “You have a challenge, my friend, to get her to accept you. Now, you must think of the best way to break down her barriers. You made a good start last night if the mark on her neck is anything to go by. Perhaps if you wake her dragon, she will realize that she has the power to destroy the demons that chase her. It worked for Carmen. Creon said she turned the human male who killed her first mate to ash. Perhaps that is what your Sara needs to do.”
Jaguin’s eyes narrowed and he thought for a moment before a slow smile curved his lips. “You are right, Gunner. I think it is time I took this challenge to more familiar ground. Somewhere I know and somewhere that she won’t be able to resist going,” he murmured, rubbing his chin as he stared down the hall where Sara had disappeared.
“How do you plan to do that? I might need to steal your idea,” Gunner quickly added when Jaguin cast him a quick, assessing look.
“She loves unusual plants. I know a place where there are all kinds of unusual ones,” Jaguin said thoughtfully as a plan began to form in his mind. “After things are taken care of here, I will return with her to my home in the Eastern Mountains. I think it is time that Sara met my family. I will also show her the house I am working on. Together, we will make it into a home.”
“You are too cunning for your own good sometimes. Now, what do you think my mate meant when she told us to make sure no one took the silverware?” Gunner asked, mirroring Jaguin by rubbing his jaw as he stared down the hallway for an entirely different reason.