by David Nell
There was nothing, and it was imperceptible.
Far away, sound fluttered on a new horizon. Infinitely gradual, it drew Andrei from oblivion. Soon he recognized the sliding and slap of leather shoes on stone floor. Andrei became aware of perceiving, then of himself. From the peace of nonentity, he felt a sickening whorl of forces encompass him as the world slithered back into existence. Bile threatened the back of his throat as he focused on the screen.
A tall, slim man stood over a table, reading with intensity. He twisted the end of his moustache. He didn't notice Andrei.
Andrei let out his breath, exhausting his lungs, and then inspired deeply. A prickling sensation flooded his extremities. He looked down at his body, though it didn't seem like his body. He pinched the back of his hand and shook his head in confusion. I am not dead. Nor had there been a paradox of spacetime, apparently. A million questions ran though his head. Where have I been? What was that? Have I broken the first law of thermodynamics? Has the experience made me insane? Is my broken brain hallucinating this scene based on expectations? He studied the tall man in the monitor. Is Sophie alive?
Andrei pulled open the hatch. The tall man scanned across the room to meet Andrei's eyes. Vague confusion, then fear flashed across the tall man's face. He looked around as if to see if anything else was out of place.
"How did you get in here?"
Not expecting a straightforward question, Andrei said nothing.
The tall man pushed a button on a speaker atop the table. "Marie, call Jean-Claude. There's an intruder in my office."
Andrei stood as if he was remote-piloting his body. He climbed from the egg and tested his footing, as though a sudden move could cause this house-of-cards universe to collapse.
What do you do when someone quantum-leaps into your office? You call security. Andrei almost laughed at his first clear thought. The only witness to man's greatest achievement was treating Andrei like a teenage shoplifter.
"Louis Hull!"
The thin man stood upright stiffly. "It's pronounced Doctor Hull, my boy."
Always with hubris, he thought. Andrei was unsurprised that Dr. Hull was condescending even before his worldwide fame.
Heavy oak doors opened and a man entered with a gun trained at Andrei's chest.
"Jean-Claude, take this man and his...machine from my office."
"Wait–" Andrei started toward Dr. Hull but the gun went off and Andrei felt a cold, hard pop in his chest before he hit the floor.
He woke to throbbing pain. Jean-Claude sat forward on a tan leather sofa with his face pressed into his palm. The gun hung in his other hand. The fear of being shot finally surged in Andrei. He looked down at his chest and saw no blood, no signs of a gunshot wound through his shirt. Rubber bullets. He smiled. It hurt like hell but Andrei felt magnanimous. Having seen beyond form and matter, Earth seemed more ephemeral, and somehow more beautiful. Even the pain was glorious.
A dark wooden desk with ornate scrollwork sat in front of a grand window curtained in rich indigo. Behind the desk was a tall leather chair. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves held row upon row of classical literature. The floor and the ceiling were pristine hardwood and Andrei could smell polish, recently applied. It was one of the most luxurious rooms Andrei had ever been in, but he was not dumbfounded. Andrei supposed he would never be dumbfounded again. He felt like he was dreaming, like the unfolding events didn't really matter.
"Dr. Hull." Andrei's voice startled Jean-Claude awake. He waved the gun in a wide arc then let it fall to his side again, realizing he was not in danger. Andrei was bound to the chair.
Jean-Claude lurched up and over to a small steel intercom panel near the door, one eye on his captive. "He's awake," he said in a French-Canadian accent, bending to the box.
"Thank you." The voice through the box was calm and thin.
Jean-Claude scrunched up his face and snorted. He flopped back onto the sofa, looking severely hung over, Andrei thought, or drunk.
Andrei felt his arms around the chair, and the ties around his wrist, but it seemed strange, like he was only wearing this body as an experiment in sensation.
Dr. Louis Hull opened the double doors and walked directly to the chair behind the desk. He sat, slid a cigarette case from inside his coat and lit one, taking a deep pull as the case disappeared back into his coat. He exhaled a bluish cloud before his eyes set to a dead stare at Andrei.
"How did you get into my office?" He twisted his moustache.
Andrei looked at Jean-Claude. "We should speak alone." The words came out instinctually.
Hull eyed Jean-Claude and shrugged. "He's not going anywhere."
Jean-Claude lifted his eyebrows, questioning, and found a firm answer on Dr. Hull's face. He groaned to his feet and lumbered out of the room looking relieved.
"Now, how did you get into my office?" Dr. Hull asked in the same tone.
"The egg you saw."
"Yes. You're obviously no vagrant off the street," tapping his cigarette. "Very interesting. My people are taking it to my lab."
"It's a time machine."
Hull nodded with a smirk. "Yes-yes, I had a look inside. Calculating eigenvalues and processing extra dimensions...so very state-of-the-art." His eyes dulled. "If this is a joke you are wasting both of our time."
"It's not a joke." Somewhere deep inside, Andrei knew it wasn't a joke, but the dread had left him completely and he felt euphoric, head spinning.
Hull snapped his fingers, getting Andrei's attention. "How did you get it into my office without me noticing?"
"I didn't wheel it into your office, I actualized it there...then."
Hull smoked and tapped the desk.
"I'll show you."
"You will not touch it until I've looked at it in detail."
Andrei believed him. Hull didn't appreciate his presence, he realized. He would have to do some talking. "Your research was the groundwork. Dark energy phase cancellations cause instantaneous superconductivity and...coherence." Andrei's brain lit up with the memory, a shadow of the original experience. "I was coherent for an instant, literally...but it was forever." Andrei sank into his chair, echoes of bliss sounding through him. Only the chafing on his wrists and pain in his chest grounded him.
Hull's bored expression was marred only by a wrinkle of interest in his forehead. "You've got good talk, I'll give you that. Are you an actor?"
"I am a scientist. My life's work is based on your work, or the work you'll do soon. I'm on your research team. Or will be. A younger me." Andrei shook his head, hearing himself. "You figured out how to manipulate the phase of dark energy, and you discovered the Transient."
"Transient?"
This could do it, Andrei thought. Describing the Transient Hull will eventually discover should cause a rift in causality. But look how far I've come. His heartbeat thudded in his sore chest. "Where I'm from they call it Hull's Transient." Hull suppressed his reaction. "It's the bulk of the process, translating one set of eigenvalues to another through higher dimensions. I came back because..."
Dr. Hull chuckled silently, shoulders bouncing, and shook his head. "Everyone knows about my bloated ego so stop the act. You're so obvious, my boy."
"Listen to me. It's the end of the world." Everything I want to say sounds like science fiction.
Hull laughed himself into a coughing fit. He settled down and looked almost admiringly at Andrei. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Listening."
"March seven, ninety-three is the day you die," Andrei remembered. He dropped his shoulders, releasing tension from his neck. "I took the day off and went to the movies with a woman."
Hull's smile remained. "See anything good?"
Andrei closed his eyes. "Very good." When in his mind's eye Sophie appeared, sharp fear pierced his dream. Andrei looked up seriously. "I came back because I had to. Because of them. The reptiles will betray us."
Ash plummeted from Hull's cigarette. He looked hard at Andrei then got up and walked to the interco
m, leaning into the button. "Marie."
"Oui."
Dr. Hull looked at Andrei. "Turn off surveillance, please."
"Parce-ce que..."
"Just shut it off!" He snapped. "Immediately!"
"Toute suite."
Hull stared at Andrei with dark eyes. Silence passed between them. Hull walked slowly, intentionally towards the desk. Leaning on the desktop he looked for a bluff in Andrei's eyes. But Andrei's eyes were clear and guileless. Hull opened a drawer and pulled out eight inches of steel blade.
Andrei thought it was a letter opener, but as Hull rounded the desk he saw it was a knife, cruel and simple. He walked behind Andrei and leaned over his shoulder, twisting the end of his moustache.
"I do not want to misunderstand you. Say it again."
Mortal fear fizzled bodily in Andrei, but didn't reach him. He turned to look in Hull's eyes.
"I've come from the end of the world to save us from the reptiles."
Hull nodded. "I thought that's what I heard." He gripped the back of the chair and leaned in with the knife. With one taut jerk, he cut Andrei's hands free.
"If it was true, this very conversation has changed the course of history."
"I realize that." Andrei followed Dr. Hull down a long, curving hallway.
"You thought coming back would give you a way to sever our connection with...our guests. But if you succeed, you will have had no reason to come back."
Andrei still felt surreal, and the illogic of the situation didn't help.
"But here you are,' Hull said. "Why hasn't our meeting produced a paradox, or a rift in causality? I don't think you've thought your story through."
"I don't know," Andrei said, and walked for a moment with that thought. "I guess I haven't succeeded. The squams will still get our technology and when they're ready they'll sublimate us for energy. Guessing."
Hull walked silently and Andrei followed, unsure if they had walked in a circle. Hull stopped at a door and gripped the handle, turning to face Andrei.
"But any change, a-any change whatsoever should, should precipitate a radical change in causality," waving a professorial hand.
"No," Andrei said, "you can't think like Newton. The linear view is wrong. Reality isn't discreet atoms, it's clouds of probability, right? Causality isn't linear. Reality moves forward like a – like an amorphous tropism, where different events tend towards a specific future. It's like...all roads lead to Rome. "
"The same event might occur from different potential histories."
"Providing those histories fall within the same set of quantum probabilities."
"But that would mean..." Hull twirled a finger, trying to fit his brain to the idea. He raised his eyebrows at Andrei and opened the door but hesitated.
"It means I travelled through time to warn you of the end of the world, but either you won't listen, or you will listen and we still won't escape the end."
"If you travelled back through time, why not go back even earlier so you disrupt as much of the causality as possible."
"Because before you the squams didn't have the technology for fusion. And you're the one person with enough weight to make a difference."
Andrei walked through the door into a dim lab humming with machinery. A large computer with a holographic display sat between two comfortable work chairs. A long island separated the lab from a small kitchenette that was no more than a refrigerator, a sink, and two small cupboards. It reminded Andrei of his lab in Siberia, except smaller and more comfortable.
"It's possible that nothing I do will have any impact." When Andrei looked up Dr. Hull was nodding absently.
"Do you get hungry travelling through time?" Hull walked to the refrigerator and produced a bowl of fruit, cheese and crackers, soda, and a bottle of wine. He arranged the food on the counter and shook his head. "It's impossible. Time travel must be impossible," taking a huge bite of cheese. He squinted at Andrei, chewing, "How do you know about the reptiles?"
Andrei shrugged, "Everyone knows. In about six months you go public with the knowledge, but I figured you met them earlier."
"Convince me. If you know about...our mutual friends, then I'm curious what else you know." Hull poured a large glass of wine and walked to the captain's chair.
Andrei now wished he had gone back further. He reflected that this might be the most pivotal meeting in history, and was not amused that it was catered with Ritz Crackers and merlot. Apathetic, he sat.
"I know you've been working with them," Andrei said.
Hull took a big gulp.
Andrei pinched the leather arm of his chair. "Done very well for yourself. You've got more than enough money to last a lifetime, plus the respect and trust of the people. When you admit you've been working with alien scientists, the people will look at your Quantum Applications and all your leaps and bounds and they will think you know what's best for humanity. But you don't. They are willing to trade technologies because when they have what they want they can just erase us from history."
Hull took another gulp and swished it around his mouth before swallowing loudly.
"It's your Quantum Applications that allow them to do it, and ultimately fusion. Without fusion they can't draw their energy from our material frequency. As it is now, they just appear as visual projections?"
Hull stiffened and looked down into the black pool of his wine. "Yes..."
"How do you communicate with them?"
Hull stood and walked away from Andrei. He stopped before a blank wall and downed the rest of his wine without speaking.
"Where I am from...or when I am from, you don't get any secrets," Andrei said. "After you go public about sharing technology you lose your secrets. The UN forms the Inter-Intelligence Administration and they take control of planetary security. They impose gatekeeper policies that cover every aspect of diplomacy between the two races. They design the Planetary Information Act, which ultimately reduces our own scientific freedom and allows the squams to access our best and worst technologies. They're not thinking in three dimensions like us, they just fade in and out as they please..." Andrei smelled the wine and was suddenly voracious. He got up and walked to the kitchen feeling unsteady, wobbling like a man emerging from solitary confinement. "You become a big star, at the cost of every human life." Leaning on the counter, Andrei put a piece of fine cheese on a Ritz and threw it into his mouth, chewing with a vague grin on his face.
Dr. Hull gritted his molars and spoke. "Why are you smiling?"
Andrei swallowed his hors d'oeuvres, a warm glow in his stomach. "Delicious."
"The cracker?"
"Everything," Andrei smiled and ran his hand along the countertop. The cool Formica tingled under his palm. He crouched down and leveled his eyes with the counter, marveling. "I can still feel it. My journey." Andrei's smile drifted off into the corner. "A moment ago I thought I might never taste anything again." His gaze softened.
"You're delirious." Dr. Hull put his glass down abruptly. "Marie has fixed you a room. If you want my help, you'll show me proof. We'll start tomorrow when you're rested."
Hull walked Andrei to a modest bedroom. Inside, a slender, plain-looking woman finished making the bed.
"Thank you Marie, Andrei needs some rest now." Hull turned to Andrei. "I'm not accustomed to guests. Don't go wandering off somewhere."
Marie bowed her head slightly to Andrei. In a Quebec accent, she said, "Can I bring anything else?"
"A pitcher of water and a glass," Andrei said. "And lemon, I'd love that."
Dr. Hull rolled his eyes as Marie exited. "Marie will find you some supplies. I want you to be comfortable as my guest." He shook Andrei's hand firmly. "I want to know everything." They looked at each other for a moment before Hull released his hand and walked out, twisting his moustache in his fingers.
Andrei changed into the pajamas Marie left and laid down. He relaxed into the bed, sinking from the day. He felt tingling through his brain, the aftershock of leaving the normal world. Co
nvincing Dr. Hull of the truth seemed like mundane grunt work. Andrei's mind dilated outward and he thought of countless people living for countless years, working their days to make a living, having children who perpetuate the cycle. Ad nauseum. What reward is there for life?
Andrei drifted away softly, floated upward from his body, and felt free in unthinking awareness, the memory of coherence. For an instant, he had the answer.
But a quiet knock on the door brought Andrei tumbling back to the wake-world, forgetful. Marie stood in the doorway with a pitcher of water. Andrei smiled dreamily at the ice and lemon wedges floating in the pitcher as she placed it on the bedside table.
"Thank you," Andrei said.
Marie nodded and turned to go.
"I can help," he said.
She hesitated.
"I had to come here."
"Me too," she said quietly. "Even a man like him needs help."
Andrei shifted up in bed. "He relies on you."
"I try to make his work easy." She stood in the doorway with her feet together.
"He told you not to talk to me."
She looked out into the hallway.
"I won't tell him we talked. But I know him. He won't give you what you want."
She turned, uncomfortable.
"Don't you want to pull him away from all this? Don't you want to be alone with him, to have all his attention for once? Just forget everything and be together?"
Breeze sighed through the window. "His work is too important. I'm sorry. I must go." She walked out of the room.
Andrei watched the door close and stared for a while, thinking she may come back. She had wanted to say something, he could tell. But Andrei knew already. Marie loved Dr. Hull.
Gloom settled over him as he sunk into sleep.
Andrei woke delirious and surreal still, but a shade of his dread had returned in the form of a knot in his stomach. Thoughts swam through his mind out of focus. He wondered vaguely if he would ever return to normal, or if travelling through time had changed him forever. Finally Dr. Hull arrived with a patient smile.