Sanctioned

by Ell Leigh Clarke

  Ellie: What, when I haven’t been a teetotaler for a year and a half?

  Mike: Yes.

  Ellie: Well, Red wine and Tequila.

  Mike: Oh…no problem.

  — 5 minutes later….

  Talking about wine, Ellie gets so excited and thinks about where she is in her cleanse diet:

  Ellie: I GET TO DRINK AGAIN! Dr. Awesome swears I will be able to. And I can have CHOCOLATE as well… He says that he doesn’t want me going through life without chocolate.

  (She pauses a moment before adding:) I would have just been happy not feeling nauseous, and tired.

  —

  Now, I drink Coke. Too much Coke, I’m sure. Being a bit of a health… focused… individual, Ellie gives me shit all the time about drinking this beverage.

  [Ellie Edit: OMfG – I so do not. I keep my mouth shut and only mention it when you’ve asked me about it. One time when you wanted to get healthy… yeah remember that one conversation?? And then when you were sick in London and I told you the Strepsils that would help fight the infection. And hey, I didn’t say anything about COKE. I just mentioned that one’s immunity takes a hammering when one consumes sugar… of which there is a metric shit tonne in fizzy drinks. End of rant.]

  While in Europe, I get sick.

  She gives me shit about drinking more Coke, while in Europe. Now, I can’t really talk (lost my voice) so you have to understand, I can’t argue very well.

  On the other side of an ocean and a continent, she is NOT feeling well herself. I ask a few questions about her own health, cause I’m a nice guy, and find out that milk is probably making her worse.

  After a little delving, I find out it is rice milk and coconut milk.

  She is upset because the diet is screwing with her ability to have milk…Which, I find out SHE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE!

  So, I can’t have Coke (sugar), but I find out she is having issues with milk on her ‘get healthy diet’.

  Then, Ellie notices me typing.

  Ellie: You are NOT going to put these in your author notes??? Right?

  I nod my head.

  Ellie YOU FUCKER! (in her English Accent)

  She then explains the REAL problem (since she went AWOL on her diet.)

  Ellie: is starting to read these books; you are going to get me in trouble!

  Mike: (Looking up from my note typing) Who is ?

  Ellie: The Doctor!

  (As you can see, I AM putting this story into the author notes. If Dr. Awesome does read these notes, now you know Ellie’s pen name for you.)

  —

  Mike: You have definitely had more caffeine today.

  Ellie: Why, what do you mean?

  Mike: You are catching more stuff than you did yesterday

  Ellie: Thinking about what I just said - What derogatory shit did you say yesterday?

  (Michael starts laughing… a long while as she starts to eye him with evil intent.)

  Ellie: … Answer the question, you fucker!

  [Ellie Edit: omg you make it sound like I swear all the fucking time!]

  Now, I’ll add the stuff from the snippets. MOST of you haven’t seen this stuff. If you follow the FB Pages, you will get notified of the release of the book, and we start posting the beginning of the book early.

  Author Notes From Snippet 01

  FROM ELLIE >>> This is from a conversation I had with "Yoda" yesterday.

  Ellie: I feel like I haven’t had a weekend.

  MA: that’s because you wrote 20k words.

  Ellie: I spent 8 hours watching Vampire Diaries from the beginning on Saturday.

  MA: Ah cool. It’s research.

  Ellie: Uh huh. (Author doesn’t mention it’s the second time she’s watching it through…Allows conversation to move on.)

  Now, for Michael's turn at deciphering this snippet (meaning, I get to say my part...)

  Ellie: I feel like I haven’t had a weekend.

  <>

  MA: that’s because you wrote 20k words.

  Ellie: I spent 8 hours watching Vampire Diaries from the beginning on Saturday.

  << Now, I'm thinking to myself "Vampires...we have vampires in The Kurtherian Gambit. How can I make her feel less guilty about taking the time to just enjoy herself a little?">>

  MA: Ah cool. It’s research.

  Ellie: Uh huh. (Author doesn’t mention it’s the second time she’s watching it through…Allows conversation to move on.)

  <>

  Author Notes from Snippet 02 – Otherwise known as tomorrow

  Ellie: (Talking about her being in New Orleans) So, I’m learning all of this stuff on French (for her trip to New Orleans) and after an hour, it’s a great sensation because your brain is laying down all of these new neural pathways…

  Mike: (Interrupting) It’s like a runner’s high?

  Ellie: Right…

  Mike: Not like I run, either…

  Ellie: (Shaking her head) Running is like an acquired taste…

  Mike: Kinda like vegetables…

  One more:

  Ellie: Does a two finger gesture for something I must have said… Although I’m sure she was being overly sensitive as I’m always polite and respectful.

  Mike:

  Ellie: What is the American one finger gesture vs. the English two fingers? You don’t know it?

  Mike: What, I have to learn Queen’s English Finger Gestures now???

  [Ellie Edit: dude, you totally called it King’s English.]

  As you can tell, collaborating with a British Author has its own version of challenges.

  Author Notes from Snippet 03

  Setup: By now, I know that Ellie is a (literal) genius. Physics, business, IQ God knows where. However…

  (You knew there was a ‘however‘, right?)

  However, I was chatting about something and the conversation gets around to a piano she owns, or did own, or something and I find out that she is a very good piano player.

  #SONOFABITCH – The best ‘playing’ I can do is (now) tell SIRI or ALEXA to “Hey Alexa, play ”. I used to say hit the play button on the radio, but I don’t even do that, now.

  Not that my, by now, mute ego was saying, “Seriously? Seriously? She fucking plays a goddamn piano as well? What the fuck else?” Or anything…

  But it was, it totally was.

  Anyway, we are having this conversation, my (now not) mute ego was bitching in the back of my mind as we carry on our talk when we have this snippet of conversation:

  Ellie: (in her British Accent) The Cello is a completely other musical instrument, it opens .

  Mike: Are you going to tell me that you play multiple instruments?

  SIGNIFICANT Pause.

  Ellie: No, I wasn’t going to tell you that…

 

  Coming Soon

  (And ask for it in the reviews...HA!)

  Book 05 of The Ascension Myth

  FUCK!

  Ok, I just realized that I have 1725 words to Ellie’s 1836. If I add one more snippet of information, my author notes will be longer than her’s.

  Ellie: IT’S NOT A COMPETITION!

  Me: Apparently, she doesn’t understand GUYS too well, as everobything is a competition to us. Even if four of us are standing at the top of a pyramid, looking down 500 feet at a thousand angry aliens wanting to come up and kill us…

  We would think about seeing who could
pee down the side of the pyramid the farthest. We can’t help it, it IS genetic.

  Blame the creator ;-)

  And now, I have 1,843 words.

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  I hope you enjoy this story!

  Michael Anderle

  Kurtherian Gambit Series Titles Include:

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  Evacuation

  Retaliation

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  Restitution 2017

  Reclaiming Honor

  * With JUSTIN SLOAN *

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  Called (03)

  Sanctioned (04)

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  Frank Kurns Stories of the Unknownworld 01 (7.5)

  You Don’t Mess with John’s Cousin

  Frank Kurns Stories of the Unknownworld 02 (9.5)

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