by Ava Danielle
Chapter 4
After the kids are in bed, the kitchen is cleaned, I sit down on the couch next to Michael. “How was your day?” I ask him and watch him huff and puff. Sometimes I think he either hates me for asking, or hates his job. I can never decipher which. I turn on the TV, get my blanket and myself comfortable with a bowl of m&ms and channel surfing. We both sit silent. This is what it has come to. Me watching something on TV, him just playing on his iPad. Sometimes I wish he was having an affair, it’d be a lot easier to understand. But I’ve logged myself into his iPad and there’s nothing leading to an affair. He’s just not into me. Unless he closes and deletes everything, there’s nothing hinting toward that. “What time you planning on going to bed?” I ask him quietly, hoping there’s a chance maybe we can get intimate. “Pretty soon.” Well, that was a short and sweet answer, I think to myself. I get up, put my blanket back on the quilt rack, set the bowl on the kitchen counter and get myself ready for bed. I might as well get my mind prepared for tomorrow’s furniture shopping I plan to do with Kristina.
As I lie in bed, I think about Brandon. That smile of his really did it to me. I’m lying on my back staring up at the ceiling. Last night I was lying here wishing my husband would pay me some attention, and tonight I lie here thinking about another man. Talk about a mind fuck. Michael comes to bed, lies down next to me, looks at me, kisses my lips gently and says “I’m going to sleep,” turns back to his side of the bed with his back toward me. “Good Night,” I say, and surprised I actually got a kiss from him tonight. As I close my eyes, I envision Brandon and think about that picture perfect smile of his.
The next morning, same routine as always. Six AM Wake up - get kids ready and off to school. I decided to have them take the bus so I could get ready for my day of shopping with Kristina. I head to my closet thinking about wearing my favorite pair of jeans, digging out my white blouse and a grey cardigan to put over it with my favorite pair of flats. I’m back to my size 6 jeans and medium body I had before the kids. Working out here and there and actually eating right is really working for me. Looking into the mirror, it’s probably better to put up my hair in a nice ponytail with some strands hanging out in the front, considering we’re going to be out shopping today. I get my phone out and text Kristina.
I’m ready, how about you?
You coming to pick me up?
Sure thing, be there in 10!!
Going downstairs to the kitchen to make me a coffee cup to go, I see Michael sitting at the dining room table. “I’m getting ready to go shopping with Kristina. We need to figure out the furniture for the shop.” I say to him while I mix the sugar into the cup and pour some milk in. While I’m putting the lid on the cup, I see him looking at me, “You girls have fun. The bank finally transferred the loan into your new account so get everything you need that you like. ” I walk over and kiss him on the cheek, as he pulls me in closer and hugs me. “Have fun,” and releases me. I smile at him and walk out the door.
I jump into my Audi, a gift from him for my 35th birthday. I love my black A6, big enough for the five of us, and perfect for my errands and cruising. I drive down to Kristina’s house to pick her up. “Hey hooker, you ready to blow some of our money?” She asks as she jumps into the passenger seat.
We drive down to Cheshire to Furniture Barn. Twenty-Five minute drive of us listening to some Sam Hunt on the radio, singing and dancing our little hearts out. Sometimes a girl just has to let loose. We were totally excited about what we were going to buy. We needed couches; our customers should be comfortable reading and drinking coffee. We needed a couple tables and chairs, and hopefully they’d have some decor. We pulled into the parking lot, got out of the car totally giddy.
Inside Furniture Barn we found so many perfect brown love seats, we actually had a hard time deciding. We went for modern and comfortable. And pillows, lots and lots of pillows. I mean really you can’t go wrong with pillows to cuddle up with on a couch. After a few hours we’ve found love seats, tables and chairs, and decor that match the modern look of the bar we had decided to get custom made for the coffee bar, and the wooden bookshelves. Perfection. We pay for all our purchases and decide on our delivery date.
Excited and giddy we leave, “I can’t believe we’re this much closer to opening now.” I sing to Kristina. She smiles. “I’m hungry - feed me,” She announces while jumping back into the Audi. We decided to go to the Italian deli we noticed on our drive up. As we park, I noticed a BMW that looked a lot like Brandon’s, and that had me thinking about him again. Just when I thought the furniture shopping would make me forget him, his smile comes right back to my mind. And that touch from shaking his hand has given me goose bumps. Kristina bumps me, “Hey sis, you with me?” She asks as I catch myself staring at the BMW. “Yeah, let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”
We walked into the little deli, and find a table to sit at. I grab the menu off the table, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look behind me, and sitting in the booth behind us, Brandon is smiling that panty dropping smile at me again. “Whatcha doing ladies?” He asks us staring into my eyes. Someone shake me quickly so I don’t lose my cool with this guy. “Oh you know, just eating lunch,” Kristina chimes in. “We were at Furniture Barn spending way too much money for our business, and you know how women get after they’ve been shopping.” I look at Kristina wondering why she just gave out all that information when Brandon laughs. “What brings you out here?” I finally found my voice. “One of my customers wanted to test drive a car and I had to come out here to meet with him. Of course the guy was a no show so I’m sitting here waiting,” he says with this glow in his eye. I don’t know what it is about him but he’s very intriguing and as I stare at him, I’d like to get to know more about him. Curiosity is getting the best of me. “Would you like to sit with us?” I ask him. Kristina gives me that knowing look and just goes with it. She smiles and agrees with me. “I can’t say no to that,” he says as he gets out of his booth and slides into our booth next to me. I feel his arm rub up against mine, and there’s that tingle that shoots through my entire body.
The three of us sit and eat and tell him all about our bookstore/coffee shop and all the goods we found at Furniture Barn. Kristina excuses herself to the ladies room and Brandon and I sit in silence. I’m comfortable yet uncomfortable at the same time in his presence. My mind is telling me not to get too personal with him, but the other part of my mind would love to get to know him better. Brandon takes a sip of his coke when he notices me staring at him. The way his lips wrap around that glass has me turned on in a way I can’t even explain. “Like what you see?” He asks me. I turn beet red, I can’t believe I’ve been so obvious about it. “Sorry, I was off in thought,” I apologize when he smiles at me, “I hope good thoughts” and winks again. Gosh darn it that smile!
Kristina returns, at the right time thankfully, and after we pay our bills it’s time to go. Brandon slides out of the booth and holds out his hand to help me out. Guys like that really still exist? I grab on to it, I’m seriously not passing up that opportunity to touch him again, and smile at him. The three of us walk out; he’s in front of us holding the door open looking right into my eyes as I walk by. I better watch it that I don’t fall down the stairs, which would be my luck. “Bye ladies,” he says and I watch Brandon drive off in his BMW.
I get into my car and as I start to put the car into gear and follow him, Kristina makes me jump with her sing song, “You liiiiike him.” I smack her and say, “Whatever. I’m married, Kris, remember?” “What’s bad is I see the way he looks at you, Addison. He’s interested in you and if you’re not careful he might just make a move on you. I wonder if he even knows you’re married.” I look down at my ring “Because my wedding ring isn’t a dead give away.” I roll my eyes.
On the drive home I think about him. Every minute, hell every second, he consumes me. He’s taking over my brain to the point I’ve even forgotten about Michael. As I drop Kristina off at home, I
continue down the road to my house and park my car in the driveway. I sit in the car for a minute reminiscing about the last fifteen years of my marriage. The good and the bad times. To be completely honest, there have been more bad than good. I love him, but am I IN love with him; I keep asking that question over and over. I’m not even sure of anything anymore. And then Brandon sorta kinda walks into my life and I’m wondering, is it a sign? Coincidence? Fate? Should I just go for whatever happens with no care in the world? Or is it best I put a stop to anything that might happen?
I get out of the car, walk to the front door and unlock it. I look around this beautiful house and appreciate everything we’ve accomplished. Three wonderful daughters, perfect house, everything just fell into this picture perfect family life.
I stare at photographs on the wall and wonder if this is it? Am I supposed to go on the way it is or allow myself to get more, more of what I want. I want more love, more desire, and definitely a lot more passion.
As I stand here and stare at the photographs I wonder how any woman can just pack up and leave her son and husband behind for another man. Did her husband not give her enough attention? Was her husband like mine? I’m imagining Brandon not giving two shits about his wife and that is not at all the vibe he gives me when we talk. The way he looks at me is the way I would want my husband to look at me. How did she not appreciate that?
Chapter 5
The week has passed and Friday Evening has made its appearance. I got dressed in some capris jeans and my favorite tank top, slipped into some flip flops and yelled on my way out the door “Heading to the grocery store to get the hamburgers, be back in a few,” and jumped into my car.
I drove to the store jamming out to some Nickelback. Chad Kroeger always knows how to make me forget life. I’m wondering what Brandon is up to. What his Saturday plans are as a single dad. I cruise around the parking lot trying to find somewhere park. Fuck. Is everyone out shopping today? I finally found one in the far back and made my way into the store. I grab my cart, my shopping list, and start grabbing the items needed. I hate shopping for groceries. Produce, check. Bread, check. I finally make it down the frozen items isle, turn the corner around all those fools that don’t know how to push a shopping cart and run smack into someone’s cart. Never fails.
As I’m about to apologize, I’m sure it was my fault, the male voice says, “If it’s not your body, it’s your cart. I must say, I prefer your body though,” I look up at Brandon and turn red. I think candy apple red is pretty bright. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to get hamburger meat and the store is a madhouse today.” I pull my cart around his and stand next to him. Looking in my cart he says, “Party at your house, am I invited?” when I blurt out “I’m married”. His expression went from serious to laughing. “The ring kind of gave it away, honey” he says smiling. This man is really starting to drive me crazy. What possessed me to say that? “Sorry. I just wanted to make that clear.”
As I start to push my cart to continue shopping, he grabbed my arm and looked at me “Would it be ok if the two of us, as parents of course, went out for a coffee?” Shoot. I want to, I really do, but would that already be considered cheating? I mean, it’s just two parents sitting down for coffee, most likely talking about our kids. I see nothing wrong with that. Oh what the hell. I nod, “Sure. Give me your phone number and we can meet up Monday afternoon if that works for you?” I pull my phone out of my purse and once I unlock it and am ready to type, he pulls it out of my hands and starts to type away on it. “Here you go, now you have my number and I have yours. Looking forward to coffee,” smiles at me and walks around the corner.
Can someone pinch me? What just happened? I stare at my phone; see his name “Brandon Donavon” programmed into my phone. Is this even acceptable? As soon as I gather all items, pay, and walk out to my car, I take a screenshot of my phone and send it to Kristina.
Look who just logged their phone number into my phone?
What? Why? Where? You need to give me all details tonight.
I laugh at Kristina’s reply. I know she’s going to want to know everything, and on top of it I’ll probably get a lecture from her. How it’s definitely not acceptable to give out my phone number to another man, or even meet up with him. I just can’t help myself.
Driving home I think about Brandon nonstop. His persistence, his drop dead gorgeous smile, his hands on my arm. Quite frankly, I didn’t want him to let me go. I felt a bit lonely after his release, if that even makes sense. As I grab all groceries out of my car and put them on the kitchen counter, Michael comes around the corner, “Need help?” Of course now he asks, after I already got everything out. “Nah, got it.” He kissed me on my cheek and all I could think about was wishing it was Brandon kissing my cheek. I think I’d prefer lips more. His lips pressed against mine. I could slap myself for these thoughts.
Everything is set up outside, the kids are running around doing whatever they do. One minute I see the girls hanging out in our yard, the next they are down at the neighbors. It’s a come and go with them. Kristina and her husband Ryan have made it over, she made a big salad of course, I swear she’s master chef. She set it down on the table, hugged me, and whispered in my ear “I’m ready for all the juicy details.” On one hand, I’m thinking she’s going to hit me upside the head for my thoughts of Brandon, and on the other I have a feeling she’s supporting me. You can’t win for losing with this girl.
We all chow down on our burgers and making small talk. The guys talk about the fishing trip they have planned and Kris and I are discussing the upcoming days with our store. Excitement for both of us as we go over every little detail. The guys grab a beer and head over to Ryan’s garage to talk about his latest purchase, which leaves us girls alone, finally. The past few days I’ve told Kristina about some of the things with Michael and I. How he doesn’t make me feel valued and needed. “So, how’d you get his number?”
I described to her the whole running into the cart thing and it’s only my luck that it would happen. Typical me. She listens intently and I’m still waiting for some kind of lecture. I told her how I’m starting to like him a lot and find myself thinking of him a lot. She actually told me to go on this coffee date, it could turn out to prove that my husband is still my one and only. I needed to be careful though and text her if anything strange comes up, or I feel extremely uncomfortable. I’m actually shocked at how easy she’s going along with this.
I know best friends are supposed to support you no matter what or at least tell you when you’re being a complete retard, I’m glad I have a friend like her that I can count on.
We joke around a bit, and go back to talking about the latest book we’ve been reading. The next few hours, as it got dark and we’ve been drinking, I pull out my cell and send a message to Brandon.
I’m thinking about you!
I put my phone back away not thinking twice, feeling the buzz from the wine. As we say our goodbyes to our best friends and clean up some of the mess, Michael kisses me on my lips, and tells me to leave the mess and come to bed with him. Clearly he’s had a few drinks and probably drunk horny. That’s the times I know I’m getting some. I pull my phone out and check the time when I notice a message from Brandon. I totally forgot that I had texted him earlier. I had a few too many wines tonight to even know what I’m thinking anymore.
What exactly are you thinking? I’m thinking of you too!
Fuck. Is he flirting with me? Now I’m just left wondering what he’s thinking of. I might actually have to ask him about this Monday on our coffee date. Something that I’m most definitely looking forward to now.
Heading upstairs to bed I have this big smile on my face, I didn’t realize until I looked into the mirror. He makes me feel like I’m a teenager with the butterflies and thoughts all over again. I know I shouldn’t think about him at all, but I can’t help it. He consumes me. He consumes my mind and he makes me extremely horny and wet. Thinking of him and wondering what’s beneath those cloth
es makes me yearn for him.
I would love to feel his lips brush against mine, I would love to look deep into his eyes as his hands wander my body. I’m clearly drunk, drunk off wine or drunk on him, I can’t really decipher which it is.
After I brush my teeth, take my clothes off from the day, I go under the covers and think about Brandon. I feel Michael brush up against me, he’s hungry, hungry for my body and as I lay here and let him touch me, let his hands brush against my cheek, down my neck, along my chest, over my nipples, I think about Brandon. I imagine it’s Brandon’s finger caressing my body and making me feel extremely wanted.