by Jack Wallen
“Was she hot,” I asked.
Mom, dad, and Sally all glared at me.
“I mean…well…did you forget I’m a teenage boy? You mention a young woman drops her dress in front of you and you expect me to think ‘How dare she’?.”
Mom sputtered.
“Dad, come on…you were a teenager once. Right?”
“That’s not really the point here,” Dad interrupted the awkwardness with a moment of sanity and a sly grin. “The issue was that Princess assumed her station in life gave her carte blanche to do whatever she wanted, wherever she wanted, whenever she wanted.”
“So what happened,” Sally chimed in.
“Well, the guy I was working on was perving out over the girl and insisted I at least have a look. So I pull off my gloves, give the work the once over, and tell her I could fix it but she’ll have to make an appointment. So, the girl pulls up her dress, starts crying uncontrollably, and walks out of the shop. For the life of me, I had no idea what happened.”
Mom to save the day.
“She was clearly heartbroken over the loss of a boy. In a rash moment of panic, she decided the boy’s name needed to be removed from her sight, but it had to be done at that very moment – otherwise she’d never do it. You refusing her felt like fate. More than likely, she went home and called the boy to beg him back. It’s not what she wanted, but she’s young and impressionable.”
Dad and I stared at one another, unsure how to respond.
I broke the spell of silence with a change of subject. “I almost forgot, there’s a haunted house over in Tyler’s End I wanted to go to. It was mentioned in the paper – the Gaultier House. Sally already offered to drive, but she always does the driving. Would you let me borrow the car to…”
“Sorry buddy, you know the rules. No driving cars out of town until you can afford the gas and insurance on your own.”
Great. With that logic I’ll be driving a car and a wheelchair at the same time.
“Scott, I really don’t mind,” blurted Sally. “Or would you rather see if Princess Tattoo would be interested?”
The silent spell returned. All eyes fell onto Sally. After a moment she sheepishly grinned.
“Gotcha,” said Sally. “Seriously, I’ve already told my parents we’re going. It’s not a problem.”
“Are you sure?” asked mom.
“Of course. I’m more than happy to spend a little extra time with Spooky.”
Mom shook her head. “Honey, we don’t call Scotty that in this house.”
I placed my hand on mom’s arm. “It’s okay, Mom. Sally can call me anything she likes.”
“Poop face,” Sally blurted. “Dill weed. Frak Nard. Scotty Trained. Molasses Mucus. Zombie Brains.”
The hits continued pouring from Sally’s lips as we all stuffed our face. Dad finally stopped the flood of fun pouring from Sally’s mouth. “What time do you two plan on going tonight?”
I answered, “The haunt opens at seven. I’d like to be there around six thirty so we can be the first to go in. That’ll give me plenty of time to poke around after the fact.”
Mom leaned over her plate and glared at me. “Scotty, remember the last time you overstayed your welcome at one of those places. There’s no need to get kicked out again. Be considerate and remind yourself it’s just a job to most of those people…not an obsession.”
“Don’t worry, Mom, I won’t let the same thing happen this time. I’m fairly certain one night being held up in a police squad car was enough for me.”
Sally jerked her head my way and said “Oh, no way. I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me. How long did this incident set you back? A year? Two years?”
“Six weeks, nothing but school and sleep.”
Sally rolled her eyes. “That’s not so bad. Heck, I could handle that kind of punishment now and then. The discipline I always wind up with usually involves stripping me of my phone and internet. I’d rather face down a police officer than not be able to update my Tumblr or Facebook status.”
Mom and Dad shook their heads.
“So kidding,” Sally laughed. “Those things really don’t matter that much. Not having a phone, on the other hand, means I can’t communicate with those that have become the single most important people in my life…my foster-step-family-in-laws.”
Sally leaned in close and attempted to put her arms around everyone at the table. When she failed, she stood, walked around the table, and hugged us one by one.
“Okay,” Mom sighed. “Sally, you watch this young man. He can be a sneaky snake – just like his father.”
Dad held up his hands. “Hey, why do you have to bring me in on this?”
Mom pointed at Dad. “See? See? Guilty as charged.”
*
Sally pulled her car into her official school parking spot, turned the key, and then glared at me.
“You realize it’s Halloween. You dragging us to the Gaultier House completely overlooks our long-standing tradition of dressing up and handing out candy.”
“Not so. Trick or treat officially starts at five thirty. We get dressed before that, hand out the goods, and then hop on your broomstick and fly to Tyler’s End. It’s a twenty minute drive. We can pull it off.”
Sally grinned and punched my arm. “You’re lucky you are so damned cute; otherwise, you’d never get away with this.”
Guilt flushed my system. I could see the entire story written on Sally’s face – how badly she wanted me to lean over and kiss her. The moment had become too familiar between us.
She choked a sob back. “One of these days, Scotty.” Sally’s voice faded and her eyes closed.
“I know, Sally. One of these days.”
It was a promise, on the first day of tenth grade, that we’d finally just fall into one another after so many years of being alive and alone. To me, it seemed a bit much for teenagers. Promising love when all other avenues were exhausted was an exchange best suited for college buddies.
But then, Sally and I were fond of the road less traveled.
Another familiar silence drifted into the car.
“Hey, Spooky,” a scream interrupted our moment.
“Oh crap, it’s Cody,” Sally sighed, just before she screamed out the window. “Go away, douche hammer.”
Cody Sloan was my nemesis. He’d bullied me since middle school, when he first knighted me Spooky. Cody was the purest embodiment of bully. He was as big in mouth as he was in muscle and he always threatened me with both.
“Come out, Spooky. It’s your day, right? All Hallows Freak. Did you wear a dress today, Spooky?” Cody shouted as he jumped up on the hood of Sally’s car.
Sally slammed on her horn and shouted, “Get off my car, jerkwad.”
The name stopped Cody. His fists clenched and he dropped to his knees and stared, through the windshield at Sally. “You do not want to make enemies with me.”
“Guilty by association,” Sally hissed. She opened her door and faced Cody. “Get off my car or I’ll report you to the principal.”
Cody jumped down and stood, nose to nose, with Sally.
“You don’t scare me. Just because you’re a girl, don’t think I won’t beat the crap out of you.”
That was my cue. I jumped out of the car and ran to Sally’s side.
“I swear, Cody, you lay a hand on her I’ll make sure you pay for it.”
He turned to me; the stench of cigarette assaulted my nostrils. My veins ran cold with fear. I wasn’t prepared to get my butt handed to me today. Instead of breaking my jaw, Cody flipped the tip of my nose with his finger and cackled like a man consumed with madness.
“One of these days, Spooky,” laughed Cody, “we’re going to dance the dance.”
Without warning, Cody rushed off to meet his colleague in crime, Brian Redding. The two of them forced their way through a throng of kids. A wake of shouts followed close behind them.
“You didn’t have to do that, Sally.”
“Do what?”
&nb
sp; “Stand up to him.”
Sally laughed. “Even punks like that wouldn’t hurt a girl.”
“He put Jean Scheller in the hospital, Sally. Cody’s hatred doesn’t discriminate.”
Sally turned to me and winked. “You’re forgetting who my dad is, Scott.”
She was right. Sally’s dad was the Chief of Police. Even Cody wasn’t that dumb.
Or was he?
“You still need to be careful poking that bear. He’s unpredictable. I heard that he once punched a nun just to see if he could get a rise from her.”
“That’s like cow tipping – it’s urban legend,” Sally huffed. “I don’t care, anyway. Someone dares to threaten you then they have to come through me first.”
Before my brain could stop me, I leaned in and gave Sally a kiss. It wasn’t a slow-motion, romance-driven, hormone-raging meeting of the lips as much as it was a thank you card rendered in flesh. When I pulled away, Sally’s face registered pure, unadulterated bliss.
I may have crossed a line.
Just as it looked like Sally was about to mouth ‘I love you’, I slapped her on the arm and said, “We better get to class before the tardy bell strikes us down.”
six | red-headed angel
Halloween had its own smell – it was candy corn, piles of raked leaves, and spiced pumpkin. Our house was always thick with it and I loved every whiff I could suck into my nose.
Sally arrived at four-thirty, already in costume. When I opened the door, my eyes threatened to explode from their sockets.
Sally was a video game nerd. Her latest fascination was Lollipop Chainsaw. The game was the prototypical first-person shooter, only the protagonist of the game was a chainsaw-wielding high-school teen, wearing the tiniest of miniskirts and the tightest of midriff-baring baby-doll tee shirts. Sally had warned me her costume would turn some heads and send young boys into an early puberty. I was glad I’d already gone through the change, otherwise it would have started the second I opened the door to reveal Sally in what had to be the best costume in the history of costumes.
“Wow.” I stood, nearly drooling in the doorway.
“You like?”
How could I not? There was more flesh before me than I’d ever seen outside of movies and the occasional glance at my dad’s porn.
“Y-y-yes,” I could feel the blush overtaking the flesh of my cheeks.
“OMG. The yard looks amazing. Big Daddy looks real. I cannot wait to see the kid’s faces when they behold the glory that is the Maskey wonderland of doom.” Sally spoke as she stepped into the house. “Your mom and dad are gonna freak about my costume aren’t they?”
Before I could answer, Mom came into the room and gave Sally a long, hard look. “Wow,” Mom started. “I didn’t realize they made costumes in size ‘extra slutty’,” mom said, laughing. “That’s quite the outfit, Sally.”
Dad walked in, took one look, turned, and fled the room. We held our tongues and our laughter for as long as we could.
Mom was the first to speak up. “Sally, I might have to borrow that costume sometime soon.”
“Mom,” I whined. “I could have gone my entire life without hearing that.”
“Can you blame her,” asked Sally.
I grabbed Sally by the arm and snatched up the bucket of candy. “We’ll hand out the goods from the porch.”
As I turned to shut the door, I noticed a smile on Mom’s face I hadn’t seen in a very long time. There was something to dig for at a later date. I had a feeling I wouldn’t have to dive in too deep before I discovered it was yet another plot she’d hatched to get me and Sally together. Mom was shameless about her affinity for Sally.
“Okay, that was the cutest thing I have ever seen. I swear your dad blushed before he ran out of the room.”
“How could he not? Sal, you’re smokin’ hot in that.”
It was Sally’s turn to blush.
“I’m glad you finally noticed.”
My lips sealed shut. I wanted to assure her there was no doubting my attraction to her. Thankfully my brain stopped my mouth short and quickly redirected my thoughts. I pulled my phone from my pocket. “T-Minus thirty-nine minutes until Gaultier.”
Sally grinned, wide and dangerous. “Are you about ready to pee your pants?”
“Actually, I do believe I just did. And I liked it, thank you very much.”
It was Sally’s turn to look me up and down. “You have to explain your costume, Scott. I don’t get it.”
Normally, for me, Halloween was about going crazy with the costume finery. This year, however, we were making our pilgrimage to the Gaultier House and I wanted nothing to get in the way so I opted for simplicity.
“How can you not get this? It’s a picture of a fan and an XY.” I pointed, first to the fan and then to the letters.
Sally exploded with laugher. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I didn’t get that. Fanboy, right?”
We laughed. The moment stripped the remnants of stress away in time for the first of the trick-or-treaters to arrive. Our first victims, a witch and the smallest Scooby Doo I’d ever laid eyes on. The second Big Daddy roared to life and twisted to face the kids, the littlest-‘Doo-ever turned tail and ran.
“Rooby, rooby roo,” I howled.
The little kid jump straight up, into what had to be his big sister’s arms.
“It’s okay, Devan, he just called Scooby’s name. And that thing’s just a robot – an amazing robot at that. Wow. I’m impressed.” The girl smiled and nodded our way.
With big sister’s assurance behind him, the young boy nervously trotted back to the porch and grinned. He was missing one of his front teeth.
“Oh my God,” Sally cried out. “How cute are you, Scooby?”
“Trick or treat,” the nervous ‘Doo begged as he held out his plastic pumpkin, his eyes darting back and forth between me and Big Daddy.
I dropped in a few extra fun size candy bars into his bowl of joy and the grinning pup launched himself back into the comforting arms of his big sis. The sister mouthed ‘Thank you’. I dropped a few treats into the witch’s cauldron and the small group turned toward the neighboring house.
“Do you miss it?” Sally asked.
“Miss what?”
“Trick or treating.”
“Not really. I actually enjoy the holiday now more than I did when I was their age. It’s so much more than costumes and candy.”
Sally stared into me, her eyes and mind doing their best to discern a deeper meaning into my words.
Without prompting, I continued on. “Halloween is about a connection to the past and the future – about spirits and souls. It’s a celebration of those that have passed on. Some even believe it is when the veil between the living and dead is at its weakest and the dead can pass back into the realm of the living. I like to think that’s possible.”
Sally wrapped her arms around me and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“That’s beautiful, Scott.” Sally squeezed a little tighter. “If a bit scary.”
Before I could offer up any assurance, our next trick-or-treaters arrived. This time we were treated with a pair of Stormtroopers and a Darth Vader. The tiny Lord Vader walked up to us, held out his Death Star with one hand and with the other gestured as if using the force to bid me give treats. Big Daddy roared and the mini Vader shot his hand toward the automaton as if to stop it with The Force.
“The ability to refuse candy is insignificant to the power of the force,” Lord Vader spoke through his voice-changing mask.
I thought it best to play along.
“Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Vader,” I followed up the kids quote with the next line in the scene.
I fancied myself a Star Wars nerd as well.
“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” said Tiny Vader.
My hand reached into the candy bowl as if being powered by an unseen force. I continued the pantomime through to dropping candy into Vader’s Death Star can
dy container and followed up by dropping to my knees. The young boy pulled his toy light saber from his waist and, with an impressive imitation of the weapon’s sound, swung out. I offered up the candy bowl to Sally and then dropped, motionless to the ground.
Everyone around us applauded. I jumped up and joined the ovation so the kid knew it was all for him.
I saluted the little guy. “Dude, you are Darth Vader.”
A modified giggle spilled from the mask as the kid turned and ran off. Sally plopped some chocolaty goodness into the two Stormtrooper’s pumpkins and they too raced off to catch up with the star of the show.
“That was awesome, Scott. You are so good with little kids.”
I half-expected to look back at Sally to see that ‘I want to have your babies’ look in her eye. Instead, I quickly changed the subject.
“Did you catch that one Stormtrooper reaching for you? I think he was going to get his first handful of…”
Sally slapped me. “Shut it, Spooky. Don’t sully the innocence of children for me.”
I LOL’d…literally.
“I didn’t have to sully that little guy; Lolipop Chainsaw did that for me.”
Another slap.
“Sorry, Sal, I couldn’t resist. Your cleavage set that joke up so perfectly.”
For the first time since I’d known her, Sally blushed.
I opted to let it drop. I didn’t want to push the moment into an uncomfortable place. We were already tiptoeing around enough issues as it were.
The rest of trick or treating went off without another scene from Star Wars, but with plenty of interesting characters and more fun than should be legal for free. Thankfully the remaining minutes flew by and it was time to make our escape to another world, another place.
We raced to Sally’s car. Instead of jumping into the driver’s seat, Sally opened the rear passenger door and hopped in.
“Umm, Sally, am I supposed to join you back there?”
“No, doofus. I’m going to slip on some yoga pants. I’m literally freezing my ass off.”
We had a laugh at Sally’s misuse of the word ‘literally’. It was a shared pet peeve of ours.
“Oh, hell no. That’s the finest ass in town,” I replied. “I better check the porch. What if I can only recover one cheek?”