by Jack Wallen
SCOTT
Hi Timely. Neat name.
TIMELY
Why thank you sir. Thank you, thank you. Did you like my little fright?
SCOTT
I sure did.
TIMELY
Would you like another?
GINGER
That’s enough with the scare tactics Timely.
TIMELY
Oh you’re no fun. But the two of you are. So Ginger tells me you two are boyfriend and….
GINGER COVERS TIMELY’S MOUTH.
GINGER
Poor Timely just doesn’t know when to keep her trap shut. She’s also delirious. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
SCOTT
It’s okay.
GINGER RELEASES TIMELY.
TIMELY
Ginger and Scott. Sittin’ in a coffin. It’s become apparent that they kiss each other often.
GINGER
Boooo!
TIMELY
Hey, it rhymes. You try rhyming with coffin.
SCOTT
So Ginger, you were going to show me more of the house? Can you do that tonight?
GINGER
Sure I can. I’d be delighted.
TIMELY
MOCKING GINGER
I would be delighted.
SCOTT AND GINGER WATCH ON AS TIMELY MAKES FUN OF THE TWO OF THEM. SHE FINALLY SEES THAT THEY ARE BOTH STARING DISAPPROVINGLY.
TIMELY
What?
GINGER
You’re weird Timely.
TIMELY
Why thank you ma’am. So have you shown Scott the dungeon?
THIS OBVIOUSLY UPSETS GINGER.
SCOTT
Oh cool! This place has a dungeon? Can you show me Ginger?
GINGER
I’m afraid I can’t Scott. The dungeon is off limits to us.
TIMELY
Are you going to tell him why?
GINGER
No, but I think I’m going to have to explain to the doctors why you’ve lost your mind! Hush Timely.
TIMELY
Fine.
GINGER
Fine.
TIMELY/GINGER
Fine.
THEY BOTH CROSS THEIR ARMS AND FACE AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. THE THREE STAND IN SILENCE FOR A BIT.
SCOTT
Excuse me?
TIMELY
Hello? We’re fighting here.
THE GIRLS STAND IN SILENCE AGAIN FOR A MOMENT. EVENTUALLY THEY BOTH BREAK OUT IN PEELS OF LAUGHTER. SCOTT BECOMES MORE AND MORE UNCOMFORTABLE.
TIMELY
Had you going there!
GINGER
Sorry Scott. That’s just a little game we play. Hope we didn’t scare you.
SCOTT
Oh no. Not at all.
THEY STARE AT SCOTT
Okay, maybe just a teeny bit. So what about this dungeon?
GINGER CHIMES IN QUICKLY BEFORE TIMELY CAN OPEN HER MOUTH.
GINGER
There isn’t a dungeon. Timely was just being, well, Timely.
SCOTT
Oh.
GINGER
But there are plenty of other great things we can show you.
SCOTT
Cool.
THE BOOMING VOICE OF GAULTIER IS HEARD. TIMELY PANICS. GINGER STARTS TRYING TO GET SCOTT TO LEAVE BUT CAN NOT. INSTEAD SHE HIDES HIM BEHIND A CURTAIN OR TAPESTRY. AS SOON AS SHE HIDES SCOTT SHE INDICATES TO TIMELY TO GO BACK TO MONSTER MODE. THEY BOTH VANISH FOR A SECOND AND COME BACK AS THEIR MONSTER SELVES. BEFORE GAULTIER COMES IN GINGER AND TIMELY BEGIN PLAYING SOME GAME.
GAULTIER
Ginger? Oh there you are. Hello Timely. How are you this evening?
TIMELY
Wonderful sir. And yoursmelf?
GAULTIER
I’m fine thank you very much.
GAULTIER LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM.
I thought I heard a third voice in here. Ginger?
TIMELY
Oh that was me Gaultier. I was just making funny voices to make Ginger laugh. See?
TIMELY IMMITATES SCOTT AT WHICH GINGER LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY.
GAULTIER
That’s very good Timely. Very unique. You’ll grow up to be an entertainer some day.
TIMELY
Thank you sir.
GAULTIER
All right girls you keep playing but keep it down, I’m trying to write.
GINGER/TIMELY
Yes sir.
GAULTIER LEAVES. BEFORE GINGER AND TIMELY CAN CHANGE BACK TO HUMAN MODE SCOTT COMES OUT OF HIDING. HE SEES THEIR FACES AND IS NOT SCARED.
SCOTT
Cool! Those are great masks. Where did you get them?
THE GIRLS LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER IN SILENCE AND ASTONISHMENT.
GINGER
They don’t scare you?
SCOTT
No. Why? Should they?
TIMELY
These faces scare most people.
SCOTT
I think they’re really great. I’d like one myself.
GINGER
Really?
SCOTT
Sure.
GAULTIER
BOOMING FROM OFF STAGE
Ginger? I said quiet please.
GINGER
You best go Scott. I don’t want to upset my father. You can come back soon if you like.
SCOTT
I will. You can count on it.
GINGER GUIDES SCOTT TO THE DOOR.
TIMELY
By Scott. It was nice meeting you.
SCOTT
By Timely. I’ll see you around I’m sure.
SCOTT LEAVES. THE GIRLS SIT WITH A BIG SIGH.
GINGER
That was close.
TIMELY
Wow.
GINGER
Wow what?
TIMELY
He saw your true self and didn’t even flinch!
GINGER
Yeah. Neat huh?
TIMELY
Neat? Are you kidding? That’s incredible. But you know…
GINGER
What?
TIMELY
You’re gonna have to tell him.
GINGER
I can’t.
TIMELY
Why not? You saw how he didn’t react.
GINGER
I’m not ready. He’s not ready. I can’t.
TIMELY
You can and you will. It’s not fair of you to hide something that big from him. Besides, he probably won’t even flinch.
GINGER
Timely, he thinks we were wearing masks!
TIMELY
We were.
GINGER
No, he thinks we’re wearing masks right now.
TIMELY
Right. Didn’t think about it that way. What are you going to do?
GINGER
I don’t know. I’m open to suggestions.
TIMELY
I suppose you could just try to hide it from him as long as possible.
GINGER
Why does it have to be so hard?
TIMELY
It’s just the way it is Ginger.
GINGER
Sometimes I hate being so different. Sometimes I hate being a monster.
TIMELY
Makes life interesting that’s for sure. Never a boring moment. Besides, you mean Inhuman American.
THEY SHARE A LAUGH
GINGER
Yeah. I guess I wouldn’t want it any other way.
TIMELY
That’s the spirit. Now, let’s go scare Gaultier.
GINGER
My dad? Are you serious? Didn’t you hear? He’s writing. No one bothers him when he’s writing.
TIMELY
And what better time to scare him? Come on, I have a perfect plan.
SCENE 10: THE GROUNDING
SCOTT ARRIVES BACK AT HOME TO FIND HIS PARENTS WAITING ON HIM.
DAD
And just where have you been young man?
SCOTT IS STUNNED
&nb
sp; Well?
MOM
We’ve been worried sick about you.
MOM RUNS UP AND HUGS SCOTT
SCOTT
I’m okay.
DAD
Scott, where have you been?
SCOTT
I, umm, I was…well…
DAD
Scott…
SCOTT
I went back to the Gaultier House.
DAD
What? Why did you go there?
MOM
And why didn’t you tell us where you were going?
DAD
You know better than to pull a stunt like that.
SCOTT
But…
DAD
There’ll be no buts. You, sir, are grounded. For a week. Now go up to your room and get to bed.
SCOTT
Dad…
DAD
Would you like to shoot for two weeks? I didn’t think so. Now march!
SCOTT GOES TO HIS ROOM AND FLOPS ON HIS BED.
SCOTT
Great. Now how am I going to see Ginger again? I’ll never learn about the Gaultier House like this.
SCOTT PULLS OUT HIS BOOK AND STARTS READING AGAIN. HE FLIPS THE PAGES UNTIL HE STOPS AT A PICTURE. HE STARES AT THE PICTURE AND CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HE’S SEEING.
The Gaultier Family. 1902? Ginger? How is that possible. She’d be over 100 years old.
HE THUMBS THROUGH MORE PAGES. HE QUOTES FROM A CAPTION
Ginger Gaultier princess of the Gaultier mansion. 1901. 1901? What?
HE READS FROM A PARAGRAPH
“Upon moving the Gaultier mansion from the Moors of Dorset England to the fledgling United States in the late 1800s, Mr. Gaultier put it upon himself to begin the arduous process of rebuilding the family’s riches.”
Wow. 100 years old.
HE CLOSES THE BOOK AND LAYS DOWN ON HIS BED.
Nah. That can’t be true.
HE LOOKS BACK OVER AT THE BOOK AND LIFTS THE COVER ONE MORE TIME.
Can it?
LIGHTENING FLASHES OUTSIDE. THE LIGHTS FLASH AS IF THEY’RE GOING TO GO OUT. THEY DO. THUNDER ROLLS. LIGHTS COME UP ON MONSTERVILLE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND.
SCENE 11: OIL AND WATER
GINGER AND TIMELY (IN FULL-ON MONSTER MODE) ARE PLAYING ON THE PLAYGROUND MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS. THEY HAVE A MOMENT OF PRIVACY WHERE THEY LAUGH AND ENJOY EACH OTHER’S COMPANY. ALL TOO SOON, HOWEVER, THEIR TRANQUILITY IS DISRUPTED BY A GROUP OF MONSTER BULLIES ARRIVES. AT FIRST THE BULLIES REMAIN ON ONE SIDE OF THE PLAYGROUND. BUT EVENTUALLY THEY CAN’T CONTROL THEMSELVES.
BULLY 1
Rumor has it Ginger has a new boyfriend.
BULLY 2
Is it true?
BULLY 3
And is he an other?
BULLY 2
Is it true?
BULLY 1
That would be so, so tragic.
BULLY 2
That is true.
BULLY 3
If Ginger loved an other.
BULLY 1
You know the rules.
BULLY 2
Yes you do.
BULLY 3
No interacting with the others.
BULLY 1
You better keep the other away. If he finds out about us you know what will happen.
BULLY 2
Yes you know.
BULLY 3
The end.
BULLY 2
Of us.
TIMELY
Leave us along punks.
BULLY 1
How Timely of you.
THE BULLIES LAUGH AT HIS JOKE.
But sad enough you know it’s true as well. Your best friend is risking all of our safety for a crush on an other. It’s…
BULLY 2
Not…
BULLY 3
Allowed.
GINGER
Mind your own business.
TIMELY
You heard the girl. Scram!
BULLY 1
We’re watching you. And if you don’t tell the other…
BULLY 2
We…
BULLY 3
Will…
THE BULLIES LEAVE THE STAGE.
TIMELY
Yeah you better leave if you know what’s good for you. Chickens! Bawk Bawk!
GINGER IS STARING AT TIMELY
GINGER
I can’t believe you did that.
TIMELY
What? The chicken noise? I thought it as pretty…
GINGER
No, you told them about Scott.
TIMELY
No I didn’t.
GINGER
Then how else would they know? You’re the only other person that has seen Scott and me together. It had to be you.
TIMELY