Coop stopped her by bracing his foot against the floor, pressing his toes into the bottom of the door. “I’m serious.”
Elle didn’t turn around. She sighed and shrugged. “Fine,” she said. “We’ll get the sleds out of the garage. Meet us out front in five minutes.”
“Who’re you meeting?” Coop asked, his breath coming out in a cloud. “Please tell me it’s a bunch of hot chicks.”
“Gross, Pooper.”
Our feet crunched on the thick padding of snow, sinking inches deep with each step. Coop dragged three sleds behind him, the trail smoothing the sidewalk as we made our way past dark houses on the silent street. Up ahead, steam rose from the pond in thick, undulating layers. The usually powerful fountain was more of a slight trickle now that a thick crust of ice had grown around its base. The light, still glowing from under the cumber some crystals, cast a mystical glow over the shimmering snow.
“It’s not Chip, is it?” Coop groaned. “You know I can’t stand that guy.”
“It doesn’t matter how you feel about him,” Elle said.
“It should.” Coop shook his head, the tassel of his wool hat flopping from side to side, and hitched the rope attached to the sleds higher over his shoulder. “I’m very perceptive when it comes to people.”
“Coop, I know you’re trying to be all brotherly and take care of me, but I don’t need it.”
“He’s an ass,” Coop said.
“Shut up, will you?” Elle sped up and left Coop and me several steps behind.
“There’s a rumor going around,” Coop said, his voice carrying through the quiet, “about you and Chip and a pool table. I’m assuming you didn’t start it. That means he did.”
I’d heard the rumor at the end of the day and had been trying not to think about it. The last thing I would have done, though, was bring it up to Elle. I had hoped that she wasn’t aware of what people were saying, and that two weeks of vacation would give people something new to talk about by the time we were back in school.
“Who says it’s a rumor?” Elle asked, her words trailing cloudily over her shoulder.
Coop stopped. “Why do you have to be such a bitch?”
Elle spun around, her boots sliding a few inches before she caught her balance. “Why do you have to take everything so personally?”
“You’re my sister,” Coop said, pounding the front of his coat with a mittened hand. “How am I supposed to react when I hear something like that? If I was even close to his size, I’d have kicked his ass by now.”
“Ooh, brilliant way to solve a problem.”
Coop dropped two of the ropes and bent down, picking up a single sled. “I don’t even know why I waste my time trying to look out for you,” he said.
“Me neither.” Elle shrugged.
“I’m done,” Coop said.
“Good.” Elle’s eyes narrowed into slits. She jerked her woolen-capped head toward their house. “You better not say anything to Mom and Dad.”
“Whatever.” Coop turned and trudged back toward their house, his footsteps squeaking in the snow.
When I looked at Elle, her hands were dripping with snow, balling a wad into one large snowball. She swung her hand back and lobbed the missile at Coop. It connected with his right shoulder and splattered down his coat. He didn’t turn around, just kept walking, his head down, arms pulled tight against his body.
We heard them before we saw them. Loud whoops echoed through the darkness, between the trees in the depths of the wooded reserve at the back of the park. The three bulky shadows standing on top of the hill couldn’t see us as we approached from behind. One of them tipped his head back, emptying whatlooked like a flask into his mouth. They put their hands together in a sloppy three-way high five before diving headfirst onto three waiting sleds and racing to the bottom of the hill.
A crescent moon peeked out from behind an icy crust of clouds. We watched as the three guys collided into one another at the base of six or seven large trees. Their laughter boomed up toward us.
“So you’re not mad at him?” I asked, watching Chip roll off his sled into a tuft of powdery snow.
“He’s annoying, but he’s trying to protect me, so I can’t be too pissed.”
I watched Elle’s words float away as the moon went back into hiding.
“I meant Chip,” I said, my voice flat.
“Why would I be— Oh, because of that stupid rumor?” Elle kicked her sled around until it was in front of her. “That has Jessie Richards written all over it. Besides, I got used to ignoring all the nasty stuff people say about me. Months ago.”
“Yeah?” I asked, wondering if she really hadn’t been affected by Jessie’s attempt to mash her into pieces. “Still. It must be hard.”
Elle shrugged and took a few steps back. “It’s been way too long since I’ve done this,” she said, running forward and hopping onto her sled. She let out a long squeal of laughter as she swept down the hill.
“So she was serious?” a familiar, velvety voice asked from behind me.
I turned with a smile.
“You guys are really sledding?” Max was thick with padding. His puffy winter coat made him look like a snowman wearing a pair of snow pants and boots.
“Totally not my idea,” I said.
“I know you well enough to guess you had nothing to do with this.”
“Are you implying that I have no sense of adventure?”
Max squeezed my shoulder with a thick-gloved hand. “No offense.”
I stepped forward, pressing myself into him, and reached around the back of his head to pull his face into mine. His lips were fiery hot, soft at first, then hard as he kissed me in return. Our tongues touched, and his arms wrapped around my waist. I tried not to think about his kissing the girl Darcy had told me about. The one he had dated for two years and hadn’t gotten around to mentioning. But trying to ignore her made me think about her even more. He might have sensed the shift in my thoughts, because he pulled away slowly.
“I’ll have to insult your ability to let loose more often,” he said with a lazy smile.
I pulled Max down to the ground, sitting forward on the sled so he had space to fit. “C’mon,” I said.
Max sat behind me, tucking his legs against mine. We pedaled with our hands and flew down the hill, crisp air rushing the exposed skin of our faces. When we reached the bottom, we were both laughing. Max leaned in for a brief kiss.
“What are they doing?” I pointed to four bodies huddled against a tree at the edge of the reserve.
“Who cares?” he asked, standing and helping me up.
“I do.” I grabbed the sled’s rope and pulled it to the side of the hill, heading straight for the group.
“Tess, just leave them alone,” Max called from behind me.
I turned around and looked at him standing there with his arms spread in the air. “Come with me,” I said.
“Can’t we just hang out alone? Without worrying about Elle?”
I almost walked to him, could practically feel the heat of his breath on my face. But then I envisioned Elle, her hand reaching into that music box of hers, and had to know what she’d pulled out of the lining.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I said. “Give me a minute, okay?”
I heard him sigh, saw the way his whole body moved with the deep breath, watched the air puff out of his lungs. And then I turned and walked toward Elle. I felt better when I heard Max’s footsteps crunching behind me, but not much.
He’d reached my side by the time I closed in on the small circle standing next to the tree. The two guys with Chip were his teammates, both very large, towering over me. Elle leaned into Chip’s side, her eyes closed, a cloud of smoke streaming from her mouth. I thought it was just her breath mixing with the air. Until I saw the thick hand-rolled cigarette she passed to Chip.
“Heeey,” Elle said when she saw me. “Sorry we started without you.” The sweet smoke filled my nose, and I realized more than the
simple fact that she was smoking pot. I wondered if it was as clear to Elle as it was to me that Chip hadn’t called because he’d wanted to spend a fun-filled night sledding with his girl. All he wanted was her drugs.
“It’s okay,” I said to Elle, shaking my head as Chip offered me the joint. When I stepped back, Max’s body stopped me. Grounded me.
“Wanna go again?” he asked, grabbing my hand. I turned and looked into his eyes, noticing the familiar pinch of sadness (or was it irritation?) that Elle seemed to cause.
“Sure.” I tried to sound more excited than I felt, but it didn’t work very well.
“We’re right behind you,” Chip called as Max pulled me toward the sled.
Thursday,
December 31
17
New Year’s Eve
For the first time, I stood in the dim light of Max’s bedroom. His walls were covered with posters of snowboarders, Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, and black-and-white nature scenes photographed by Ansel Adams. I turned in a slow circle taking in everything. The empty bottle of water on his nightstand, his jacket slung over the back of his chair, the stacks of books piled against his wall. I wasn’t sure what I had expected, but this scene fit what I knew of him. It made me feel warm from the inside out, like I’d just taken a big sip of hot chocolate.
“Here you go,” Max said as he stepped through the door. “Hope this is okay. It’s all we had.” He handed me a cold mini bottle of Coke, and I sat on the edge of his bed.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Max walked toward his computer and sat on the swivel chair, leaning against his jacket. “I’ve been working on this slide show for a while. You’re about to see all my favorites.”
“It’s not fair you made me wait so long.” I scooted farther back on his down comforter. “I mean, we only have thirty-six minutes left in this year.”
Max turned and faced the glowing screen, and I heard the familiar click-click-clicking of the mouse as he navigated his way to the pictures he was finally going to share with me.
“It’ll just take a minute to pull up. Then we can go downstairs to watch the ball drop.”
The flash of a young Noelle popped into my head. She wore a fancy silver hat with the words Happy New Year scripted along the top in glitter. I pictured us dancing in feather boas and high heels, bleating colorful noisemakers and showering each other with handfuls of confetti at the stroke of midnight. I wondered if she was having fun at the party Chip had taken her to. Hoped Jessie wouldn’t be there to cause trouble. Tried not to feel offended that Elle had decided to spend her first New Year’s Eve back home with Chip instead of with me.
“So what’d you do last year?” I asked, scratching hard at my cheek to punish myself for asking the question when I knew I didn’t want to hear the answer. But it was time for one of us to tackle the subject of his ex-girlfriend.
Max swiveled to face me.
“Last New Year’s Eve, I mean.” I looked at a pile of T-shirts stacked on Max’s dresser as I waited to hear his response.
“Darcy told you, didn’t she?” Max’s eyes looked sad in this soft and melty way, and I hated that they were directed at me.
I took a sip of the fizzy Coke and felt a little sick to my stomach.
“It’s not like I was trying to keep it a secret.” Max stood and walked to me. The bed sank under his weight, tilting me toward him, but I leaned away. “It just never came up.”
“You dated someone for two years and didn’t think it was important enough to mention?” I sighed.
“I know it sounds awful, but it just wasn’t that important.” Max pulled on a strand of my hair and then tucked it behind my ear. “The whole thing was more about me figuring myself out than me being devoted to some girl.”
I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “Does this ‘some girl’ have a name?”
“Nicole.” Max pried my hands away from my face. “It’s not what you think. She fell for the idea of me. And I was too much of a coward to end things when I should have.”
I jumped up from the bed and put my Coke on the dresser next to an ashtray full of quarters. “Did you have sex with her?”
Max’s mouth dropped open. His eyes fluttered to my chin, my hands, my feet.
“No.” I shook my head. Held one hand in the air. “Don’t answer that. It’ll make me feel worse.”
“I didn’t just use her, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“I’m not implying anything.” I shook my head. Leaned back against the dresser. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, okay? I’m just going with this whole thing, and when Darcy told me about a two-year relationship that you’d just ended, it really threw me off balance.”
“I’m sorry.” Max tapped his fingers on his knee. “I was afraid of scaring you and screwing things up.”
“You might have,” I admitted, “if I’d known from the start.” I pointed my finger at Max and he grabbed it, pulling me toward him. “But now it’s too late. I’ve kind of fallen for you. So it’ll take more than ‘some girl’ to scare me away.”
“Good.” Max spread his knees apart and I stepped into his body, running my fingers through his thick hair. He fell back on his bed and pulled me with him, rolling me over to my side. “You freaked me out for a minute there.”
“I was hoping you’d say something like that.” His soapy scent invaded me, making me feel that weak kind of happy.
“That you scared me?”
“Just that you care enough to be afraid you might lose me.”
Draped in shadow, Max’s face had this dreamlike quality as he moved in to kiss me. It was one of those moments when I wished I could stop time to snap a picture.
His lips were a little wet when they brushed against mine; then I felt the smooth heat of his tongue as his hand grazed my side, moving up and down, soft at first, then more heavy and insistent.
A wave of heat surged through me and I pressed myself into the mattress. Hot pricks, like static, danced across my body. Max’s fingers grazed the skin under my belly button, skated along the top of my jeans, and slid over the button.
I opened my eyes and saw the familiar curls of his hair hanging forward. He nuzzled his face into the side of my neck, running his lips along my collarbone. He felt so good. Too good.
I pressed my hands against his chest, and he raised onto his elbows.
“What now?” He arched one eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips.
“I don’t get it,” I said.
“It’s called kissing. I can look up the history later, but for now …” Max leaned in, his lips parted in the exact smile he wore that hot summer night at the Three Sisters.
“I mean, why me?”
He chuckled and flipped over onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. “Why not you?”
“In the beginning, I was standoffish and even bitchy. I was determined to keep you at a distance, but you didn’t let up, you kept pushing to get to know me. You could have had about any other girl in the school, but you chose me.”
Max tapped his fingers against his chest, and I wondered what song was going through his head. I stared at the bumps on the ceiling above us, trying to find a pattern where I was pretty sure there was none.
“You intrigued me. From the first moment I saw you lying under that tree, I had to know you. You were so … guarded and afraid, I couldn’t get you out of my head. And then I ran into you in class. It was like fate.”
I turned and faced him, wiping strands of hair out of my eyes, resting my hand on his shoulder, watching his chest rise and fall with several silent breaths.
“I thought everyone in this town was boring.” Max shrugged. “Until I met you.”
“You couldn’t get me out of your head?”
Max turned his face to me, and I bumped my nose against his.
“Not for a second. You drove me crazy.”
I laughed. Leaned over and kissed him on the mouth, my tongue flicking his playfully. Then with more f
orce. His fingers pulled through my hair, tugging me closer, tighter. I pressed my body against his, inching from his side to his chest. With one solid arm, he hoisted me up and I found myself on top of him. I pulled my mouth away from his and realized that my breath was coming in fast, shallow huffs.
“You okay?” he asked. His eyelashes were so close they swiped my nose when he blinked.
“I think so,” I said.
He smiled. Brushed a wave of hair off my face. “Do you trust me?”
“You really want to know the answer to that?” I tried to chuckle, but it came out sounding a little strangled.
“I’ll take my chances.” He raised up a few inches to kiss my lips.
I kissed him back slowly before pulling away. “I think I do trust you.”
“Really?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Will you take off your shirt?” His voice was whispery soft, and cautious.
“Max,” I said, trying to roll off him. “I—”
“Wait.” He trapped me with his arms. “I just want to feel your skin. Against mine.”
I looked into his eyes and could tell he meant it. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with guys, but it was pretty obvious he wasn’t trying to play me into a bad situation. At least, I didn’t think so. I sat up and felt a little unsteady when I realized I was straddling him. I pulled my shirt over my head and looked down, glad I’d decided to wear a bra. I wanted to suck in my stomach but thought it would look way too obvious. Besides, he wasn’t gawking or anything. I actually felt pretty comfortable.
“Wow,” he said. “You’re even more beautiful than I’d imagined.”
“You imagined this?” I pressed my palms into his chest.
“Just a few hundred times,” Max said. “You trying to tell me you never have?”
I shook my head, my hair fanning forward over my bare shoulders. “My private thoughts are none of your business.”
“Ha!” Max propped himself up on his elbows. “Thought so.”
He grabbed his shirt at the waist and tugged it off, tossing it over the side of his bed. I ran my fingertips along his chest, down his side, and across his stomach, feeling the terrain of his body. He tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t hold it in any longer as my fingers drew up his other side.
The Tension of Opposites Page 15