by Sandy Lowe
Emma heard Lauren’s words through the cloud of insane excitement that clung to her. God, she was going to come. She had to come. She’d fucking die if she had to endure Lauren’s slow, deep thrusts and her fingers circling and pressing on her clit forever. Lauren’s control wasn’t just about calling the shots, but the unendingly slow and patient way she buried herself inside Emma, and the way her caress so completely forced Emma to the brink and then eased her away from the edge—leaving her hanging suspended in desire, slowly losing her mind—over and over again.
“If I dub you Mistress Orgasm will you let me come?” Emma asked.
Lauren groaned above her. “I’d better, with a superhero name like that.”
Lauren thrust just a little harder, her fingers circling Emma’s clit and finding all the places that made her clench. Teasing her, torturing her, as her orgasm built to unprecedented heights.
Emma stared unflinchingly into Lauren’s eyes, fierce with power. Face-to-face, heartbeat-to-heartbeat, Lauren’s cock driving both of them mad.
“I want to come inside you.” Lauren ground out the words through clenched teeth.
Emma moaned. “Can you? God. Fuck, yes. Come inside me.”
“Don’t come yet,” Lauren warned her, angling her hips. The cock hitting a spot inside her that made her eyes roll back in her head.
“Too late. I can’t stop. Please.”
“You can.” Lauren ground out the words like she was using every ounce of willpower to prevent her own orgasm. “Look at me. Hold on for me. Remember this, Emma. This moment right now, this is me. Over you, on top of you, controlling your pleasure, making you wait just because I can. It’s all me. It’s us.”
Emma’s body was a taut live wire sparking electricity. She held Lauren’s gaze and saw all the way inside. Past all her defenses, past the facade she’d created to keep herself safe, past everything, to her heart. Strong and steady and impossible to contain. “Please. Let me come.”
That last desperate please must have done it. Lauren made a strangled sound.
“Now. Come.”
“I love you,” Emma gasped, right before everything inside her lit up and split apart. If there was a graph for measuring orgasms, the one that plowed through her would’ve been off the charts. She was spinning and flying, stiffening and convulsing, coming and coming and coming. She could hear Lauren above her, crying out her own release, throaty and passionate, raw, and best of all, absolutely, unequivocally real. Pleasure swept them away.
Emma would never have considered describing sex as making love. The idea was laughable. Candlelight, rose petals, and soft dreamy touches were so totally not her idea of a good time. The kind of sex she had with Lauren was definitely fucking, and unequivocally her thing. But it was also how they made love. Not the fantasy ideal some wanted, but perfectly, and romantically, them.
She had to beg Lauren to stop thrusting, her pussy clenching and her heart a jackhammer in her chest.
Stop and don’t stop.
Pull out and never leave.
So close and not close enough.
More. Just, more.
Lauren eased out, pressing her palm against Emma’s pussy when Emma moaned in protest.
“Shh. I’ve got you. I’m here. Let me take this off.”
Emma closed her eyes and sank into muscle deep lethargy that was holding all her limbs captive. God. She wasn’t going to be able to move for a month. “We might’ve killed each other.”
Lauren settled next to her, pulled the sheet over them, and gathered Emma into her arms. “If this is heaven, God gave me a really good deal. You’re so incredible. I don’t even have words for all the incredible. Thank you for letting me see you.”
It took a mammoth effort, but Emma managed to lever herself up on an elbow to look at Lauren. “Thank you for seeing me. No one has ever looked at me the way you do.”
She hadn’t really expected Lauren to say it. Part of her already knew Lauren wasn’t going to, but her heart still took a punch to the solar plexus when Lauren pulled her in for a kiss in lieu of the, “I love you too,” Lauren had to know she wanted.
Vulnerability had to go both ways, inside and outside the bedroom. Emma needed Lauren, and just as fiercely, she needed Lauren to need her.
She was going to need her own damn superpowers to save love.
Chapter Nineteen
Lauren pulled the SUV up outside Fishes and Loaves. She and Roxie jumped out and began hauling what seemed like two hundred dozen duck eggs from the trunk.
“Your mom is nuts.” Roxie wiped her hands on her jeans and ran her fingers through her hair like she’d just run a marathon instead of standing back and letting Lauren do most of the work.
“She likes ducks.” Lauren shrugged. The way people kept farm animals as pets was just one item on the laundry list of things she didn’t get about Sunrise Falls. Thank God the town had an ordinance against roosters, or she’d be waking up to cock-a-doodle-doos at the crack of every annoying dawn. She wouldn’t put it past her mom to try to sneak one by the Cupcake all the same.
Roxie grunted as she lifted a box like it weighed a million pounds. “It’s weird to like ducks. Kittens? Totally get it. Puppies? The more the merrier. But ducks? What redeeming value do ducks have beyond the admittedly adorable duckling stage? If she wants pets, there are cute options.”
“Eggs.” Lauren slammed the hatchback closed and stacked the last box on the sidewalk.
“Eggs she doesn’t even eat,” Roxie said grumpily. “She must feed half the town with these. We’re all going to die of cholesterol overdose.”
“If I’m going to die from high cholesterol, it’d better be from ice cream and not eggs.” Lauren piled two boxes into her arms and picked her way across the icy sidewalk to Fishes and Loaves’ front doors. The ducks made no more sense to her than they did to Roxie, but her mom had dug a pond in the backyard just so they’d have a place to swim, and her face lit up whenever she caught one of their feathered butts waddling past the kitchen window, quacking up a storm.
Weird was accurate, but sometimes it took a bit of weird to make you happy.
On the second trip, she spotted Emma coming down the street. She almost called out, almost ran up to her like an overexcited chipmunk, she was so damn happy to see her. Pretty ridiculous. It’d only been a couple of hours since she’d dragged herself away to help her mom run errands, but hours felt like years when Emma was the bit of weird that made her happy.
Only Emma was with people. Jasper Wallings, cornerstone of the council; the Cupcake aka Brenda Baker, resident gossip and ass-pain; and another man Lauren didn’t recognize and guessed must be relatively new to the council. Better rein in her chipmunk impulse. The last thing any of them would want was her bouncing over all smiles and enthusiasm. She ducked around the SUV so she wouldn’t put Emma in an awkward situation, and the group walked into the council building two doors down from Fishes and Loaves.
When she came back around the car, Roxie was standing on the sidewalk, her hands planted on her hips and a what-the-fuck-was-that expression on her face. “Did you just hide?”
Lauren considered her options. Outright denying it probably wouldn’t get her anywhere. Telling the truth would either earn her a lecture in how she should’ve had the guts to face the council or incite an interrogation into exactly what was happening between her and Emma. She went with the only choice she had. “Leave it, Rox.”
Roxie didn’t so much as slow down. “Seriously? You just hid behind your car like a douchebag rather than talk to Emma. I know things have been rocky, but hiding is a new low.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t hiding from her. Things with Emma are good.”
Better than good. Amazing. Superlative. Incredible.
“I was hiding from the council. We have to be careful. You know that plenty of people in this town won’t like that Emma and I are together. I didn’t want to make things awkward for her, that’s all.”
Roxie narr
owed her eyes. “Wait. You’re together? Like, together, together? Why am I the last person to hear about this?”
“Actually, you’re the first, aside from Emma and Mom. It’s just new and complicated. She lives here, on the hellmouth, in the center of my private run-away-as-fast-as-you-can horror movie set.”
“And she can’t leave because of the deal she made with the council,” Roxie mused.
Really? Everyone but her had known about this deal? That was the way Sunrise Falls worked. If you wanted privacy, you didn’t stay. And if you left, you were cut off like the illegitimate heir.
“So, you’re staying here to date Emma?” Roxie looked pleadingly at the last box like she was hoping it would grow legs and walk itself inside.
“That’s the plan.” Lauren was grateful Roxie wasn’t going to push her on how she and Emma ended up together, together. I showed her what it meant to surrender by engaging in a consensual non-consent fantasy, and then she said I made her miserable while she went down on me. There wasn’t enough context in the world for all of that to make sense to anyone but them.
Lauren figured Roxie wasn’t actually going to pick up that last box, so she hefted it and Roxie trailed behind her, chattering away.
“I’m beyond thrilled that you’re staying, but maybe hiding from Emma isn’t super smart if you’re dating? What are you going to do? Develop agoraphobia and never leave the house so you don’t run into someone who might disapprove?”
“If the house has a bed, and Emma’s definitely does, that’s not a bad plan.” She deposited the last box with Doris Cranton, a woman with a face that resembled a stern headmistress, and a uncompromising demeanor that had always freaked her out. She skedaddled before she was forced to make actual conversation.
Her mom could’ve sold the eggs, not given them to the food pantry. She’d have made a mint at the farmers markets in Saratoga. But she donated them as a way of giving back. Fishes and Loaves had kept them alive once upon a time, and Stern-Faced-Cranton never missed an opportunity to remind her with those steely eyes.
They slid back into the car, but Roxie put a hand on her arm before she could turn the key in the ignition. “Some people are gossipy old hens who judge others to deflect attention from their own lives and problems. But not everyone hates you. If you’re going to stay, you’re going to have to grow some balls.”
Lauren closed her eyes and rested her head against the seat. “I don’t want balls.”
“Lady balls,” Roxie said, mock seriously. “It’s where you keep your pride and all the sticky stuff that makes family.”
Roxie had a way with metaphors that was funny bordering on so-completely-wrong, but she understood what Roxie was saying. If she was going to stay, she’d need to find the courage, the balls, to live her life, to perhaps build her family, without resorting to hiding behind her car. Hearing Roxie say it was surprisingly unsurprising. Lauren had known the second she’d agreed to stay, she just hadn’t wanted to think about it.
“I need to talk to Emma first. This affects her. I can’t just go advertising our relationship when she’s the one who’ll catch flak for it. Mom told me this morning there are already whispers about us.”
“So?” Roxie launched the word like an arrow pointed directly at Lauren. “Who cares if people who you don’t like gossip? You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
Lauren barely resisted the urge to yank her hair out of her head. “It’s not about me. It’s about what Emma will lose. She’ll be gossiped about. People will be mean to her. Emma has history with this town and good memories. I don’t want to be the reason that gets fucked up.”
Roxie nailed her with a stare to rival Cranton’s and launched another arrow. “Gee, Emma’s a bit of a damp doormat then, isn’t she? If she’s going to run and hide, if she’s going to let the town decide who she can date, you’d be better off without her. She’s not worth your time if she doesn’t want to be seen with you in public. You’d better ditch her immediately.”
“Hey! That’s completely unfair. Emma isn’t like that at all.” Roxie had gone too far. Best friend rules meant she could get away with a lot more than Lauren would take from anyone else. Roxie routinely toed that line, but too far was too far. “If it wasn’t so cold, I’d make you walk home. Apologize.”
Roxie held her stare. “I’m sorry for all the things I just said about you, even though they’re true.”
Lauren shook her head. “You said them about Emma. Talking about Emma like that is unacceptable.”
“I agree,” Roxie said softly, “so maybe you should stop blaming her for your own issues.”
“I wasn’t—”
“Yeah, you were.”
Lauren rubbed a hand across her face. “I don’t want to be the reason things change for her. I know you think it’s only some people who judge, but it’s everyone. You just don’t see it like I do. I can’t even donate to the food bank without a judgment day glare.”
Roxie laughed. “Dorrie Cranton isn’t judging you. She loves your mom. They have tea once a week, and she always asks after you.”
Lauren blinked. “She does?”
“I’m not up on the social lives of the mom-contingent, but yeah, that’s what I’ve heard. Whatever you think you saw, you’re wrong.”
“But she was glaring.”
“Well,” Roxie said, in an overly patient tone, “you didn’t even say hello. Dorrie is old school. You have to make the first move, or she thinks she’s being snubbed.”
Huh. Not everyone in Sunrise Falls hated her. What a novel concept. Maybe not everyone was judging her, but she had sure judged them. She’d written off the entire town because of people like the Cupcake and Jessica Norman. Because judging everyone who might conceivably judge her back was safer than sorting the good from the bad and possibly getting it wrong. Hello, trusty defense mechanism, so good to see you again.
“I’ve been a dick, haven’t I?” Lauren asked wearily.
“Uh-huh.” Roxie grinned. “Now, if you had some balls to go with your dick, you could really create a stir.”
Lauren snorted. “Stop, please. Emma would be really pissed that I just hid behind the car to avoid her.”
“Yup.” Roxie made it sound like Lauren had just discovered two plus two equals four.
“I thought I was doing the right thing by not creating a scene, but she doesn’t need me to hide. She can handle herself. Actually, she’s doing a lot better job of handling herself than I am.”
“She needs what we all need,” Roxie said, “someone who will stand with us through a storm. If you want to be together, you’ll have to face this together.”
“Why are you right? It’s so annoying when you’re right, and I’m not.”
“I have to tell you something.” Roxie placed a hand on her arm again when Lauren moved to start the car.
“Uh-oh. No good news in the history of forever has ever followed that phrase.”
“I know why Emma is with Archie and Brenda and Jasper. I think you need to know, too.”
“Isn’t she working? The council controls the funding for the library, right?” Lauren asked.
“Yes, but…” Roxie hesitated. “Don’t go away on me, okay?”
“Okaay.” A sick feeling took up residence in the hollow of Lauren’s throat.
“The council is denying funding for a program Emma wants for the library. I don’t know the details. I heard it secondhand off Doug. Something about e-books and circulation.”
“That’s a bummer, but surely they vote on this kind of thing all the time.”
“They’re saying no because of you.” Roxie waved a hand in the air. “I mean, not you, but they think Emma is engaging in some risqué S and M stuff with you, and they’re unhappy about that, and sending a message. That’s what Doug thinks.”
A strange buzzing started in her ears and spread through her head. At first, Lauren thought there must be something wrong with the car, but then her palms began to tingle, a
nd her heart started thumping in her ears. She was…angry. It took a second to find the word, she was so used to blocking off emotion, but angry was definitely it. “They’re making work difficult for her because of what they think we do in bed?”
Roxie nodded. “Not that I’m defending them or anything, but it’s not exactly an unsubstantiated claim. Emma said it herself.”
“What?” None of this made any sense.
“At the Christmas parade when she told Jess Norman you’d whipped her and that she should try it. That’s what started it, and, well, the story just grew from there. Sami from next door told me the moms at the Tuesday morning K through Three Ravenous Readers group are planning to boycott the library.”
Lauren was stunned. No. Stunned wasn’t close enough. She was rigor mortis stiff. Dead from shock. “Roxie, you were there. Emma made an offhand comment, a joke. She was defending me. Was it a good idea? No, and I told her so. But also, so the fuck what if she’s pro-kink? She should have her programs denied? Moms should refuse to allow their kids to use the library?”
“These things get twisted and blown up way out of proportion, and Jessica was pissed. So that’s the way it looks, yeah. Jessica has a lot of power.”
Lauren wanted to scream. She settled for squeezing the wheel hard until her knuckles turned white and her fingers began to ache. “It isn’t fair. It’s none of their business and the whipping comment wasn’t true. Not that it should make a difference if it was, but it wasn’t.”
“It’s not about truth, it’s about perception. Who knows that better than you?” Roxie’s smile was entirely humorless.
“She was standing up for me,” Lauren said quietly, “and it might cost her her job. Right now, it’s one program, it’s one group, but if we start dating…”
The wince was all over Roxie’s face. “There’s at least a chance that things could go south for her if you’re open about kink.”