“Oh. That’s fine, then. He knows what I need.”
Declan snorted. “Did you think I would screw it up?”
Ezra rushed to make things better. He hadn’t meant his words as an insult. “No. It’s not that. Theo’s lived with me recently. He knows my daily habits and whatnot. I just meant that he would know what to pack.”
Another sexy chuckle escaped Declan. “I’m not insulted, angel.”
Before Ezra could argue that he had sounded insulted, Declan exited the interstate. “We need to stop to walk Icarus.”
Ezra glanced behind him. Icarus was asleep on the floorboard behind the driver’s seat. Ezra heard himself admitting something he never planned to say. “I was scared to death when I gave Icarus to you at Christmas. I thought I might be overstepping and hurting you.” Declan had lost a dog that was his baby and hadn’t tried getting another dog since. Ezra had taken a huge risk giving Declan Icarus. He hadn’t known how Declan would react.
Declan didn’t look his way. He kept his eyes on the road and his voice sounded hesitant. “After Lucifer died, I didn’t want another pet of any kind. If anyone else had given me one, there’s a chance I would’ve turned him down.” Declan quickly glanced his way. “But it’s you. If you’d handed me a snake, I would’ve loved it, because I love you. Icarus is perfect, though. He makes us like a little family.”
Ezra turned inside himself. He didn’t know what to think. For years, they had gone back and forth. They would get close and Ezra would think they were finally going to be together, only to have Declan shove him away again. Ezra didn’t have the strength to handle that right now. But Declan kept saying he loved Ezra and he had kissed Ezra, which was more than Ezra ever expected. The hope building in his chest scared the hell out of him. The issue churned in his mind all the way to Mesa until he exhausted himself again. When Declan pulled into the driveway of a tiny cottage, Ezra sat forward and eyed the place. It was really, really small but adorable. It was like a gem in the wild. There was nothing surrounding them except beautiful scenery. Even though the house was minuscule, there was a pool out back. The entire place was surrounded by a fence. It looked like a getaway spot.
Inside the house, Ezra realized something else. They would be sharing a much smaller bed. The place was nothing more than a queen-sized bed, a small eating area, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There was no TV or anything meant for entertainment. There was a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom but no shower. The mirrors were already covered, making Ezra wonder how Declan had pulled this off. It seemed they would be roughing it, to Ezra’s standards. Ezra didn’t argue. A part of him recognized this was exactly what he needed. A place to be still and quiet. This place made the world look smaller and easier to manage. Declan knew him too well.
Declan dragged a huge cooler inside. “I tried packing up most of the groceries Johnny brought by. There’s no sense in letting anything go to waste. I’ll bring your suitcase in next so you can do whatever you need.”
“I can help. Put me to work.”
Declan shook his head. “I’ve got this. You’re supposed to be resting.”
“What about you?” Ezra couldn’t stop the question. “I don’t think you’ve really slept since I landed in the ER. Maybe you should be the one relaxing.”
Declan stared at him in a way Ezra couldn’t decipher. He seemed closed off, yet he couldn’t completely hide the heat in his eyes. “I’m good. Just let me get everything inside and we’ll go to bed.”
Icarus scratched at Ezra’s legs, demanding his attention. Ezra absently picked him up and rubbed his head while trying to work out Declan’s mood. He didn’t shake himself from his stupor until Declan brought in their luggage. The tiny house got smaller with them and all their stuff inside. To give himself something to do, Ezra set up Icarus’s dog bowls and toys before going to work on emptying the cooler. To Ezra’s surprise, Declan didn’t argue with him helping. Instead, he disappeared inside the bathroom with a small bag. Declan re-emerged a few minutes later, wearing nothing but workout shorts. Ezra fought himself. His gaze kept sliding toward Declan’s beautiful body. He was just too big. Ezra couldn’t avoid looking at him. He fought for anything to say or do to keep from looking like the obsessed fool he had always been for Declan.
“Your feet will probably hang off that tiny bed.”
Declan shrugged. “I’m used to being too big for my surroundings. It’ll be okay.” He flashed Ezra a devilish smile as he turned down the covers. “Plus, you won’t be able to escape me. There are all sorts of benefits to cuddling, according to research. Cuddling makes people happier, strengthens our immune systems, relieves anxiety, and promotes good sleep patterns.”
Ezra’s cheeks ached from smiling. “I have a hard time picturing you reading articles about cuddling.”
“What do you imagine me doing in my spare time?”
Ezra grabbed his toiletries bag and eased his way toward the bathroom. “I don’t know.” Ezra practically leapt into the bathroom and shut himself away before he said something stupid. What he imagined Declan doing in his spare time always depended upon Ezra’s mood. If he was angry with Declan, he assumed Declan spent all his time chasing other men. If he was in one of his longing moods, he pictured Declan pining for him too. A lot of ridiculous thoughts went through Ezra’s head all day long. All of them were better left unsaid. After all, there was nowhere for Ezra to hide in this small getaway house. The less Ezra embarrassed himself on this trip, the better. He was too old to runaway now. But he still might if he humiliated himself too much right now. Ezra didn’t have the strength to stay and fight.
Declan killed the lights and climbed into bed. Icarus immediately started whining. He stopped the second Declan helped him into bed. It seemed Declan had already lost the battle when it came to Icarus always sleeping with them. It wouldn’t be easy in this small bed. This wasn’t the first time he had stayed in this getaway house. In fact, he knew the owner. That was the only way he had managed to get the place on such short notice, and he got the mirrors covered before Ezra arrived. He hoped this quiet time away, sequestered with Ezra, Declan could help Ezra get better while also winning him for good. This was a make them or break them trip. There were no distractions here. No place for Ezra to hide. By the end of this trip, Declan would know the right thing to do. He would know whether Ezra was better off with or without him. Either way, he would be unemployed. Declan couldn’t go back to working for Jessie now. Ezra was the love of his life. He either had to be with him or remove himself completely from Ezra’s life. It was well past the time he should have accepted he was part of Ezra’s problems and fix it. Not to mention, Ezra wasn’t the only one suffering. Declan couldn’t take the pain anymore either. He wanted more.
The bathroom door opened. “Holy shot. It’s really dark in here.”
Declan smiled at the sound of Ezra’s voice. Damn. He really loved everything about him. Declan rolled and snagged his cellphone, lighting a path to the bed. “This way.” Once Ezra made it to the edge of the bed, Declan set the phone aside, snagged Ezra’s waist, and rolled. He tucked Ezra into bed and against his body in one swift motion before tugging the covers over them. Icarus settled down across their entangled feet.
Ezra relaxed into his hold.
Declan’s body responded immediately, going painfully hard. There was no way Ezra missed the erection pressed against his ass, but he didn’t call Declan on it.
“It’s so quiet in here,” Ezra whispered.
It really was. Ezra had a sound machine in his room. While Declan had noticed that before, he hadn’t thought anything of it until now. It was a new detail of Ezra that Declan wanted. He rolled and grabbed his cellphone again. It only took him a second to find a sound machine app, download it, and the sound of the ocean filled the room. He settled back down, holding Ezra. “There. Now you shouldn’t have any trouble sleeping.”
He felt Ezra’s body shake—like silent laughter rolled through him. “Except for that erection that keeps tap
ping me like it’s trying to get my attention.”
“You can ignore that.”
Ezra rolled in his arms and draped his leg over Declan’s body so he could scoot as close as possible. “There. That’s better.”
Fuck. It really was not. Ezra still wore Declan’s t-shirt and he was back to having nothing on underneath. He was hard too and their bodies were pressed together. This was hell. It was heaven. Declan was torn in two.
Ezra tilted up his chin and touched his lips to Declan’s. Declan caved. He rolled, bringing Ezra with him, leaving Ezra straddling his body. Declan held the back of Ezra’s head as he kissed Ezra deep, trying hard to get closer. He wanted to taste Ezra’s tongue and come away with Ezra’s love. There was no one else out there for him. Ezra moved restlessly against him, shoving at Declan’s shorts. He swore he felt Ezra’s triumph when his erection sprang free. Declan’s entire body nearly jackknifed from the bed when their cocks collided. Ezra’s hips rolled. He rocked against Declan’s body. Declan’s fingers dug into Ezra’s hips as he tried controlling the pace. He didn’t want this to ever end. Unfortunately, his body knew it was Ezra—the man he had loved and ached for—moving against him. Declan tore his mouth away and squeezed his eyes closed, trying to fight the growing pressure climbing his cock.
Ezra kissed his neck. “This is what I do in my spare time. I picture you beneath me just like this.”
A loud pant burst from Declan at Ezra’s confession. It was like his spirit left his body as ecstasy rocked him. A spasm made his entire body jerk. Hot cum slicked his skin. He had never blown so fast in his life. It was almost embarrassing, but he was too in love to feel anything else. His emotions choked him. He kissed Ezra so hard and deep that he couldn’t have said if Ezra came or not. His mind was too big of a mess. It wasn’t the romantic encounter he always dreamed they would have, considering how sweet Ezra was. Instead, it had more or less just happened. In fact, the encounter had been so natural that Declan felt incredibly stupid for constantly fighting himself.
Their kiss turned sweet until Declan was smiling so hard against Ezra’s lips that he could hardly keep up. “I feel dumb, but you short-circuited my brain and I don’t even know if you came.”
Ezra chuckled. “Surely you don’t think you made this big of a mess alone.”
Declan swiped his lips across Ezra’s again. “I don’t know,” he admitted, still barely comprehending a thing. “I can’t feel anything below my heart.”
For a moment, Ezra kissed him so sweetly that the backs of Declan’s eyes stung. Then Ezra went in for the kill, decimating what was left of Declan’s defenses. “I love you, sexy protector. It’s always only been you for me.”
It was like a sucker punch to the chest. Ezra had always sneaked beneath his shell by making Declan feel like he was the strongest man in the world—like no one could keep Jessie and him safe better than Declan. For someone who had grown up feeling helpless, it was empowering as hell. It was addictive. Ezra made him want to be the best and most protective man to prove him right. He would prove him right. By the time they left here, Ezra would know he was loved and cherished if it was the last fucking thing Declan did. He owed Ezra that much.
Five
A very nude Ezra filled the spot next to Declan in the bed. With the sun lighting the room, Declan couldn’t stop staring at him. After taking Icarus for a walk and filling his bowls, Declan had returned to bed to find Ezra had kicked away the blankets. With his head buried beneath his pillow, his entire back and ass were on full display. Declan’s feet were glued to the floor as he stared down at him. When he had sat with Ezra while Ezra showered, Declan had tried his ass off not to think about Ezra’s nudity. That moment had been about taking care of him. This moment was different. Declan couldn’t tear his eyes away from what Ezra had done to himself. Every bone in his back was visible. He looked like someone on the edge of death. Each breath Declan took came harder and harder as the truth sank in. If he hadn’t shown up when he had, Ezra would have died. Not could have. He would have. Declan wouldn’t have been there to help when Ezra collapsed. Ezra would have simply slipped away while no one was the wiser. The scariest part of that was the truth. Declan knew that had been the point. Ezra hadn’t wanted to go on living.
Declan shook his head at the thought. He couldn’t go there. Ezra meant too much to Declan’s sanity. He forced his feet to move away from the bed. Ezra needed sleep. He needed food and rest. Declan would make sure he got them. He headed for the bathroom and went to work filling the tub. As much as he wished this place had a shower, he was grateful the jacuzzi tub was large enough for someone his size. No showers or tubs usually fit him. He was too tall and wide for this world. Declan ducked through doorways and sat uncomfortably in chairs. Bathtubs were usually a no go for him. Luckily, this one fit him and then some. So he would enjoy it and let Ezra rest, but he would leave the bathroom door open too just in case.
As he waited for the tub to fill, he checked his phone. He had missed four calls from Jessie and a text message. He opened the message.
Jessie: Why did Wrecker come by this morning claiming you’ve been stalking Ezra, and now you’re refusing to let him see Ezra?
Declan swiped his hands over his face, suppressing a growl. He had truly hoped Wrecker was bluffing about going to Jessie. He paced for a minute, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he just started typing with no plan at all.
Declan: I don’t know, man. Wrecker stopped by before we left town. He demanded I let him in to see Ezra. Ezra was still sleeping, and I didn’t want to bother him. So I told him to hold off until Ezra contacted him. I guess that wasn’t good enough.
While staring at his phone, Declan held his breath. He didn’t breathe properly again until Jessie got back to him.
Jessie: All right. I’ve always liked Wrecker, but he said some crazy shit. He claimed he had seen you sitting outside Ezra’s house several times and you had been showing up at The Back Porch every night, harassing Ezra. It all sounded nuts to me, but I had to ask. Wrecker’s been good to Ezra and Theo. It seemed an odd accusation to come from nowhere.
Declan: I’ve been to The Back Porch several times. Just like everyone else. But I would think Ezra would tell you if he felt harassed. As for my truck sitting outside Ezra’s house, I guess it’s possible he’s seen me picking him up or dropping him off. Or, hell, it’s a black truck. It looks like a million others. It’s entirely possible he thinks he’s in the right, but I’ve done nothing that I can think of to give him the idea that Ezra is any danger with me. Maybe he’s jealous?
Jessie: True. He did have that jilted lover tone about him. I guess just keep me posted on Ezra’s health and tell him to call me. I’ve been texting him, but he’s not responding.
Declan: Will do. He’s been sleeping almost nonstop. I’ll give him another hour and then I’ll get him up and have him call you.
Jessie: Nah. Don’t wake him. Just let him know when he gets up on his own. I know you’ll take good care of him. You always have.
Declan: Yep. I’ve got him. Talk to you later.
Declan tossed the phone aside. Fucking Wrecker, sticking his nose in other people’s business. Ezra would talk to the guy when he talked to him, but it was Declan’s time with Ezra right now. He knew he was crazy when it came to Ezra. Declan didn’t need anyone else pointing that out. He let it go and climbed into the tub and started scrubbing. With the jets going, his shampoo and body wash turned the top half of the water into bubbles. His muscles relaxed. Declan closed his eyes and leaned his head back, letting the tension in his muscles drain away. The water shifted. Ezra climbed into the opposite end of the tub and sat between Declan’s feet. He pulled his knees up to his chest and openly stared at Declan while Declan stared back through half-closed lids.
“Did you sleep okay?” Even Declan heard the gravelly edge to his voice—like lust filled him already from Ezra’s presence alone.
Ezra nodded. “Did you? I’ve been in here for a minute. I even brushed
my teeth, and you didn’t stir. For a second, I thought you had passed out.”
Damn. It was possible he had dozed off and hadn’t realized it. Between Ezra’s health scare and Wrecker’s threats, Declan had been on edge for days. “I spent the whole night savoring the fact that you were in my arms. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted that.”
Ezra hid a smile against his knees.
Declan sat up. “Come here.” Declan urged Ezra closer and went to work scrubbing his body. He bathed Ezra like he would a child, washing his hair and body. Ezra tolerated him without complaint. Declan relished every second. Once he had Ezra clean, he tugged Ezra forward until Ezra straddled his lap. Then he leaned back again with Ezra cuddled against his chest. Ezra settled down into his arms. Their bodies molded together.
“It’s still funny to me that you’re such a big guy and you chose this tiny house.”
“There’s nowhere for you to go here,” Declan admitted as he skimmed his lips across Ezra’s temple. “You can’t escape me here.”
Ezra didn’t respond. He simply lingered in Declan’s arms like he knew it was where he belonged. “You’re hard for me again,” Ezra said after a few minutes, sounding sleepy.
“I’m always hard for you. You’ll have to learn to ignore that.”
Ezra chuckled. The small sound vibrated against Declan’s chest.
Declan needed to change the subject. “Are you feeling up to going out? There’s an awesome all-you-can-eat breakfast place not too far from here. It’s close to a shopping center I think you would like.” Declan knew he would have to sweeten food with some other prize, since Ezra still wasn’t showing any signs of having an appetite.
“That’s fine.”
Declan wasn’t dumb. He knew he needed to act quickly on Ezra’s agreement. His mood might change any second. Declan held Ezra to his chest and stood. With a laugh, Ezra wrapped his legs around Declan and held on while Declan climbed from the tub. Once he was out of the tub with no chance of falling, Declan found his feet glued to the floor. He couldn’t take another step. The sound of Ezra’s laughter was too much for his heart.
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