Tim’s arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. His tongue tasted the parting of her lips, seeking and finding hers with a hunger that melted away her uncertainty. The kiss went on and on. She pressed herself as close as she could get, and at the feel of his arousal, rose on tiptoe to align her hips to his. She lost herself in the sweet fierceness of his embrace until, breathless, she broke the kiss and turned her face into his shoulder. Had she ever felt this way before? As though every bone and muscle might dissolve with need?
Tim drew in a ragged breath, and his hand ran in restless circles up and down her back, molding her closer.
She drew back and looked up at him, then cupped his face and ran her fingers over his jaw. His beard lay in dark bristles against his skin, wiry but smooth, outlining the lips that had just left hers. He kissed her again, his tenderness and care overwhelming her.
“We’ll take it slow,” he said as his lips brushed her cheek, her jaw, and the sensitive skin beneath her ear. “I’m not in any rush.”
“You’re such a gift to me,” she murmured. “Every day you give me more and I want—I don’t know how much I can give you back.”
“This is more than enough, Sam.”
His tone brought tears to her eyes. She ran her hand down the back of his head, smoothing his hair and holding him close. “How can it be, Tim?”
He drew back to look down at her. “I’ve been wandering, rootless for months, putting one foot in front of the other, just surviving. When I look at you…” He shook his head and his throat worked as he swallowed. “When you opened your arms to me just now, I finally felt like I’d found my way home.”
How had she missed seeing his loneliness? Tears rolled down her face in a rush.
“I know you’re not ready for anything heavy. But I need to—I’ll be satisfied living on the periphery of what you have, until we figure out if this is right.”
Her heart ached. He felt he couldn’t expect more because she had allowed fear to build a wall between her and the rest of the world. How could she continue to allow herself to be that way with him? She tugged him toward the couch and he followed. When he sat down, she slid into his lap, drew his lips to hers, and tasted the saltiness of tears. She drew back to wipe her face with the hem of her t-shirt.
“Don’t cry, Sam.”
“I’m not…anymore.” She nestled close to him and laid her head atop his shoulder. He continued to run his hands up and down her back, the pressure both soothing and sensual. Her breath hitched, then grew unsteady. She wanted more.
She traced the shape of his jaw with her fingertips. “Can we just touch one another for a while?” she asked.
Tim’s laugh sounded choked. “Honey, we can do whatever you want.” He wasted no time sliding his hands beneath her shirt and continuing his slow caresses up her spine and cross the flat plane of her shoulder blades.
Sam waited for the feelings of panic to start, and when they didn’t, leaned back to smile at him. She removed his glasses and folded them closed. “Can you see me without these?”
“I can see you just fine.”
His husky tone, as much as his touch, loosened the small knot of anxiety that lay coiled and ready to spring.
She set the glasses on the back of the couch. His eyes, so pale a blue, seemed more vibrant in color without the barrier of the glasses. She traced his brows, then his cheekbones, learning the structure of his face. When she cupped his jaw, and kissed him again, he groaned his encouragement. The eager way his lips and tongue responded to hers triggered a sweet tingle between her legs. She loved the way his beard felt against her face.
His hands continued to move under her t-shirt, sliding down her sides and up over her ribs. His fingers released the catch on her bra and he cupped her breast. She leaned into his touch with a feeling of relief, the nipple beading beneath the careful pressure of his fingers and intensifying the tingle to an empty ache that begged to be filled.
When Tim withdrew his hands from beneath her shirt a few minutes later, she caught back a murmur of protest. His arms tightened around her holding her close. The ragged, uneven sound of his breathing mirrored her own. She held him in return and messaged the back of his neck, finding his skin hot to the touch. He drew back to look up at her, his cheeks still flushed, and smiled. “I thought we’d better save some things for another time.”
She’d been so lost in her own response, she hadn’t thought how difficult he might find it to temper his own. On the one hand it was wonderful she hadn’t felt a moment of fear or anxiety—a miracle, in fact. But on the other, he had to control his every move to make sure she didn’t.
“Okay.”
A wave of color lit his cheeks, and she smiled.
She knew what her sixth step was going to be. And it definitely included Tim Carnes.
CHAPTER 28
James concentrated on the traffic in front of him, only glancing toward Marsha for brief seconds at a time. “It isn’t going to kill you to get out of the house for a couple of hours and relax. Jane Wyatt, the woman I hired to sit, was recommended by Trish Marks. She babysits with almost all the other team members’ children. Alex is in good hands, and I’ll be on call while you’re away from him.”
“I just look such a mess. Why didn’t you tell me this morning we were going somewhere?”
“You look fine.” She didn’t. Her shoulder-length hair was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail, and beneath her eyes dark circles penetrated the light makeup she’d put on.
Marsha’s hand shook as she brushed her hand over her hair. “Where are we going?”
James shot her a smile in the hope of reassuring her. “It’s a surprise.”
She plucked at a crease in her linen pants. “How long do you think we’ll be gone?”
James covered her hand with his own to still her nervous movements. “It doesn’t matter. I have everything covered. I just want you to relax and enjoy the day.”
He wove through the downtown traffic, turned onto fifth street, and pulled into a parking space in front of the salon she usually frequented. “I called and made you an appointment with your usual stylist, Kathy, for a trim, highlights, a manicure, and a pedicure. The works. It’s all paid for.”
“All that will take more than a few hours,” she protested.
James put the car into park and leaned across the divider between their seats. “Marsha, when you worked non-stop at your job as a CPA, you took a day off now and then to relax and recharge. Just because you’re a full-time mom doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to take one off now.”
Her struggle was visible. She didn’t want to disappoint him, but she was still concerned about Alex.
“You promise you’ll check on him?”
From the anxiety underlining her expression, he knew he’d done the right thing. “I’ll call every hour on the hour, and Jane has my number programmed into her phone. Alex is going to be fine without you for a few hours.”
“It will be more than a couple of hours,” she warned again.
“You can call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”
She drew a deep breath and raised a hand to touch his cheek. “Okay.”
James leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Just relax and have a good time. Okay?”
She smiled. “Obviously you’ve never been inside a beauty salon, James. It’s not about having a good time.” She gathered her purse.
“Maybe it will be this time.”
He waited in the car until she’d disappeared inside the shop before pulling away. He had plenty to do before she was through.
An electronic tone sounded as Marsha entered the shop and the familiar scents of hair spray, shampoo, chemicals and perfume enveloped her.
Kathy, her stylist, stood at the desk and sauntered toward her with a smile. “Marsha, it’s so good to see you. It’s been a few months.” She gave her a brief hug. “Come straight back. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Your sweet husband called
and said you needed a day off and your hair done.” Kathy spoke over her shoulder as she led the way. “He’s even sent over some goodies for you to snack on while we work on you.”
Sweet husband? She’d never heard James described as sweet before. Strong, steady, controlled, passionate, but never sweet. But recently he’d been…different. And that he’d surprised her with a trip to the salon was a first. “Goodies?” Marsha asked.
Kathy’s well-rounded hips rolled as she ambled to her station. “Have a seat.” She patted the back of the adjustable chair. “I thought we’d do your facial before we do your highlights, trim and styling.”
Marsha wiggled back into the seat. Kathy whipped out a cape and fastened it around her neck, covering her from nape to knee. Marsha studied herself beneath the harsh florescent lights. She looked washed out and exhausted. A hag. No wonder James had taken things into his own hands. And no wonder she hadn’t had the energy to argue with him. She touched her sunken cheek. When had she developed such hollows beneath her cheekbones?
Kathy folded back the aluminum foil on a metal tray. “Your hubby sent you a tray of strawberries dipped in chocolate and a bottle of champagne.” Using tongs, she lifted three of the huge berries onto a plate and handed them to Marsha. “You can drink a glass before we get to work.”
Marsha’s lips puckered in an oh of surprise. James had never gone in for romantic gestures, though he was always generous with money and what little time he had free. “It’s barely past lunch,” Marsha protested.
“It’s five o’clock somewhere, honey. And you look like you could use a sip or two to relax.” Kathy wrapped the bottle in a hand towel, removed the foil from the top, and untwisted the wire. She popped the cork, poured some of the pale blond beverage into a wine glass, and handed it to Marsha.
“Will you join me?” Marsha asked. “I’ll feel much too spoiled eating and drinking in front of you.”
Kathy laughed. “I’ll wait until I’ve got your highlights and trim done first. You wouldn’t want me to get tipsy while I’m doing your hair. But afterwards we’ll celebrate how wonderful you look. How’s that?”
“Okay.” Marsha nodded, her gaze scanning the other four workstations and the women in various degrees of primping and processing. “What about the other customers?”
“We have wedding parties in here, drinking champagne while we do their hair and makeup. They won’t think a thing about your enjoying your strawberries and wine.”
“Okay.” Marsha nibbled at one of the strawberries while Kathy set out the bottles and bowls she’d need.
Kathy kept up a steady stream of conversation. Marsha found the muscles in her shoulders and back unknotting for the first time in days. Was it Kathy, the champagne or just being away from the house? Was she a bad mother to feel this way? She stared in the mirror at the gaunt image looking back at her. It wasn’t Alex that had her twisted up inside like a pretzel, or even James.
She didn’t like the woman staring back at her from the mirror. She was a coward, wallowing in self-pity. She had to do something.
“Do you have any pictures of your sweet baby and your handsome hubby?”
“How do you know he’s handsome?” Marsha asked.
“I haven’t seen a man yet that doesn’t look good in uniform. And I could tell he was military from the no-nonsense way he spoke on the phone.”
Marsha laughed. “He does have a tendency to speak as though he’s fulfilling an objective.”
“Well as long as he doesn’t do that at home.”
Marsha thought of how he’d held Alex this morning and spoken to him. And how Alex had cooed and squealed back at him. “No, he doesn’t speak that way to me or Alex.”
She tugged her purse onto her lap and rummaged for her billfold. She flipped it open to a snapshot she’d taken at a barbecue. One of her favorite pictures of James. The next one was one she’d taken of James and Alex together, asleep on the couch, the baby cuddled atop his chest.
“OMG he’s McDreamy, only better looking.”
Marsha laughed. “I’ll tell him you said that, but he won’t know who you’re talking about. He doesn’t watch much television.”
“I bet that little fellow has him wrapped around his little finger,” Kathy said, studying the picture of James and Alex. She didn’t say anything about Alex’s wide-spaced eyes or large head.
“Yeah, he does. James has such patience with him.”
“You have two handsome guys there.” Kathy returned the pictures to her.
“Thank you.” Having Kathy comment on James’s looks had her pausing to look at the picture again. He was a handsome man. His hair and eyes contrasted dramatically. His olive skin tanned well. Why did it take a total stranger calling attention to those things for her to acknowledge them? Was she still holding on to the resentment and hurt of months ago? Was she holding him responsible for what had happened at the house?
“Ready to get started?” Kathy asked, drawing her back to the present.
She handed her the plate and wine glass as she glanced around the shop. He was trying so hard. Doing everything he could to be supportive. And she was still holding onto the past. She looked up at Kathy and nodded. “I’m ready.”
Three hours later she shared a last glass of wine with Kathy and took a seat in the reception area to wait for James. This had been exactly what she needed. She felt and looked more herself than she had in months. Kathy brought in the remainder of the strawberries after the other girls had gotten one or two each. “You and your hubby need to finish these off tonight, once the baby’s asleep.” Kathy said with a wink.
“Thank you, Kathy.”
“Thank your husband. He wanted to be sure you were taken care of. What was the occasion? Your anniversary?”
Marsha shook her head. “I’ve been going through a rough patch. James is trying to make sure I know how much he loves me.”
Kathy’s eyes glazed with tears. “How sweet.”
He was trying new things. While she was sitting on her ass, not attempting anything. Her guilt about Alex’s birth seemed as crippling as her depression. Do something, Marsha. “I’ll make sure he knows how much I appreciate him,” she said more to herself than Kathy.
James shoved the large bag of take-out behind the driver’s seat. He’d gotten all of Marsha’s favorites. Traffic was heavy, and he was anxious to get there to pick her up. He swore beneath his breath as he came to a halt at yet another light. At last reaching the salon, he had to park a block down the street. He locked the car and jogged up the sidewalk to the shop.
Marsha waited in the reception area and set aside the magazine she was reading when he entered. Her features no longer looked pinched, or stressed. Her hair, cut in a wispy bob, brushed her shoulders, and framed her face, softening the angles of her cheekbones and disguising her weight loss. Her makeup was more dramatic than when he’d delivered her to her appointment. It reminded him of when they’d first met at a party ten years before, just after his first deployment to Iraq. She smiled. He realized he was staring.
“Do you like the cut?”
“Yes. You look great.” He bent his head to kiss her.
She rose to gather a large two-handled bag and her purse.
“Do you want me to take that?” he asked.
Four women appeared in the doorway.
“James, these are the ladies who work here. Saundra, Isabelle, Kathy and Denise.”
He moved forward to shake each one’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, ladies.” He offered Kathy a nod, a plump woman of about thirty with an engaging smile. “Marsha looks great.”
She grinned. “Thanks.”
He turned aside to take the bag from Marsha and caught her smile at something going on behind him. He glanced over his shoulder but all four of the women just smiled. He and Marsha said their good-byes, left the shop, and walked down the street to the car. “What was going on back there?” he asked.
“One of the girls was fanning her face which i
s the universal signal for you’re hot.”
James laughed, then shook his head. “I have take-out from the Chinese restaurant you like.”
“That sounds good.”
She opened the back door for him and he set the bag on the back floorboard.
“The strawberries were wonderful. I shared them with all the ladies in the shop and there were still some left.”
“Good. I’m glad you enjoyed them.” He opened her door and she tossed her purse on the seat, but didn’t get in.
She rested her hand on his chest. “Thank you for spoiling me today.” She rose on tip-toe to press a kiss to his lips.
James slipped an arm around her waist and drew her close. “I don’t suppose I’ve done enough of it lately, or ever. With all the shit you’ve had to put up with because of my career, I should have been on top of things more.”
“I should have too, James.” She smoothed his shirt collar. “I was so obsessed with having a baby.” She leaned into him. “I know there were times I treated you like a sperm donor instead of a husband.”
He laughed. “That wasn’t all bad, honey.” With her body resting against his, he couldn’t hide his instant reaction, as he grew hard. Even after ten years, he still wanted her more than any other woman he’d ever met. He brushed her forehead with his lips. “Our boy is waiting for us. I bet he’s missed you today.” He released her.
She stepped back and slipped into the car. “I’ve missed him, too, but it felt good being out with adults today.”
James got behind the wheel and fastened his seatbelt. “We need to plan some days for ourselves.”
“Like a date night each week?” she asked.
Breaking Away (Military Romantic Suspense) (Book 3 of the SEAL TEAM Heartbreakers) Page 26