by Ann Troup
‘Look, let her stay, at least until her brother gets here. You’ve got a lot to sort out yourself. We’ll be fine, I’ll look after them,’ he said with more conviction than he felt.
Miriam hesitated, but saw sense and potential relief in his words. ‘If you’re sure? Only she’s my responsibility…’ she trailed off.
‘Go, honestly, it’ll be fine,’ Dan said, giving weight to the lie.
Miriam hesitated at the door, as if she was going to say something else, her gaze moving towards the lounge where Elaine sat. She looked wistful and brim-full of sorrow.
Dan shook his head, ‘Not yet.’
Miriam closed the door behind her, a move which elicited a sigh of relief from Brodie, ‘Thank God for that, I thought she was never going to leave.’ Her tone was derisive and intimated that she thought that she should be the one with all the choices.
Dan had had enough, he didn’t know why but the whole situation was making him exponentially angry. ‘Look, you might have got your own way with that one, but it was only to keep the peace. That woman has just lost her sister, and found out she’s been living the same lie you all have for thirty years, so give her a break will you. This is not just about you, Brodie!’
He wasn’t shouting but his words were still like a slap. He didn’t know what was wrong with him or why he was taking it out on this poor kid whose whole world had just come falling down. The fact that he seemed to have no control over his own behaviour made him even more angry and he snapped again. ‘In fact, give us all a break. There are bigger things to deal with than your teenage tantrums,’ he added before stalking into the lounge, unable to cope with the fact that he had just behaved like a complete tool.
Brodie gasped, shocked that he would turn on her like that after everything they had been through. All she had wanted to do was stay with Elaine and make sure she was all right, couldn’t anybody see that? It wasn’t fair that she was being treated like the bad guy when none of this was her fault. As for Miriam, she was really to blame. If she had done her job and looked after Mandy none of this would have happened. Dan was out of order and he had no right to be shouting his mouth off at anyone. What did any of this have to do with him anyway? Just because he fancied Elaine it didn’t give him the right to go around shouting orders at everyone. Just who did he think he was? Nobody, that was who. He was nobody, just some bloody builder poking his nose in where it wasn’t wanted.
Bristling with indignation she stalked into the lounge, ready to give him a piece of her mind. The sight of Elaine, reduced to a sobbing heap in Dan’s arms, stopped her in her tracks and she felt thoroughly ashamed of her own selfishness.
She couldn’t watch. Both the distress and the intimacy acted like a force field and she had to turn away and walk outside where she could nurse her reaction alone, and maybe try and make sense of it.
*
Jack had decided to take himself off for a walk during the aftermath; it seemed both discreet and sensible for him to be out of the way while the dust settled. Besides, he’d needed to phone Mary and tell her what was going on, and he’d also needed to contact his old colleagues. The first thing Jack saw as he made his return to Meadowfoot Cottage was Brodie, crouched outside the door and looking like a maleficent garden gnome.
He spied a bench under the window not far from the girl and eased himself into it with a sigh that told of old bones and weariness. ‘How is she?’ he asked, removing his pipe from his inside pocket and resting it between his teeth empty and unlit. All good actors needed a prop.
Brodie shrugged, ‘Upset. She’s with Dan.’
Jack nodded and removed the pipe, tapped it pointlessly on the arm of the bench, then put it back between his teeth, ‘Bound to be. And how are you?’
Brodie shoulders rose in an impoverished movement which spoke volumes about her discontent. ‘Not about me, is it? As I’ve just been told by Mr Wonderful in there, I mean, who does he think he is, throwing his weight about like God almighty?’
Jack frowned, removed the pipe again and regarded it thoughtfully, wishing that he could fill it and have a proper smoke, but unwilling to incur the righteous wrath of Mrs Pearson who was the constant guardian of his health, ‘Oh, I don’t know. We wouldn’t have come this far without you. I reckon you get to have a say.’
Brodie was having none of it, ‘Kinda wishing I’d left it alone to be honest.’
Jack sucked on the empty pipe, a most unsatisfying experience, but better than nothing, ‘Oh? Why’s that?’
She was fiddling with the rose bush that scrambled up and over the door in its bid to maintain the illusion of perfect country life. Through the corner of his eye Jack could see her pressing her finger to the thorns, testing their mettle against her skin.
‘It’s just that if I’d left it alone everyone would be getting on with it, wouldn’t they? Esther would still be alive, Elaine would be going home to her house and her life. Nothing would have changed, we’d all just be going on as we were.’
Jack leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees and looked down the garden towards the lane. It was all very pretty, but he couldn’t have coped with the disarray in his own garden. Everything should have its place, even plants. ‘And is that always a good thing? In my experience the truth has a habit of coming out sooner or later whether people like it or not.’
‘But what good does it do if it makes people more unhappy than they were before?’ Brodie complained as she watched a bead of blood bloom on her fingertip.
‘It depends what people choose to do with it, they can either live through it or learn to live with it. It’s always a choice.’
Brodie sucked the blood away and looked at him, ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you can carry it around with you like it’s a burden, a weight on your shoulders, or you can set it to one side and use it. Treat it like a resource that shows you who you are and how you got there. It’s not always easy, but you have the choice.’
Brodie nodded thoughtfully, ‘I get what you mean. But what if you don’t know the truth, what if people don’t tell you?’
Jack pointed the stem of his pipe at her, ‘Everybody knows the truth deep down, it’s what motivates them for good or bad. Unfortunately it can feel like mining, sometimes you get diamonds, sometimes you get rocks but at least you know what you’ve got. If you don’t dig you’ve got nothing.’
Brodie nodded, assuming that his words must have some profundity, even if she hadn’t grasped it. Unable to divine anything further from his wisdom, she said, ‘So, what happens next? I mean none of us expected her to still be alive did we? I thought that we were just going to find out what happened and maybe find her body, I just wanted to lay her to rest so we could all move on. Now I have a sister, there’s no body to find and it feels like we’ve got more problems than we started with. Dan’s being an absolute arsehole and we still don’t have a clue what happened.’
Jack sighed and replaced the pipe into his pocket, ‘That’s what I’m here to discuss, shall we go in?’
*
Elaine had managed to regain a modicum of composure, but her tearstained face and hollow eyes betrayed the depth of her shock.
‘Feeling any better?’ Jack asked, wanting to kick himself as soon as he realised how inane the question was.
No one answered him.
‘Right, the police are on their way and they’re going to want to talk to you Elaine.’
‘I don’t know how much I can tell them, it’s all a big blank to be honest. I don’t remember anything.’ Her voice was husky and small.
Jack paused, ‘Well, they’re going to want to know what you recall about the woman who brought you up.’
Elaine looked confused for a moment, ‘Oh,’ she said as realisation dawned. ‘You mean my mother.’
Jack nodded solemnly, ‘Yes, only she wasn’t your mother was she?’ The question was purely rhetorical, asked only in a bid to prepare Elaine for what was to come. ‘In addition to that, I’m afraid
the press will get hold of this pretty quickly. You’ll be hot news Elaine, and it won’t be pleasant. I’d like to suggest that you go home.’
Jack heard Brodie’s gasp, but ignored her.
‘She can’t go home, there’s no kitchen and no bathroom and not likely to be for a while. It’s not fit to stay in,’ Dan said.
‘I’m not sure I want to anyway, I can hardly call it home now.’ She surveyed the collective of concerned expressions. ‘But I can’t stay here either, Miriam has to deal with Esther’s funeral arrangements and piles of police and press aren’t going to help her. Besides, I’m not sure I want to stay in the place where… it… happened.’
‘Not really, no,’ Jack conceded. ‘What about a hotel?’
Elaine was about to agree that it seemed the best solution when Dan interjected.
‘No, you can stay with me. If they find us there, then we can go to a hotel,’ he said as if the decision had been made.
‘Dan, I can’t, it’s not fair on you,’ Elaine protested.
‘None of this is fair on any of us, but it is what it is. I’d be a lot happier trying to keep the wolves from your door in my own place than in a hotel,’ he argued.
‘But it’s not your problem Dan, I’m not your problem. You shouldn’t feel like you have to take responsibility for any of this,’ Elaine said. ‘You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I’ll be fine.’
‘I don’t and I’m not. I just want to help, so shut up will you. Anyway, I promised Miriam I would make sure you were all right.’ He crossed his arms to indicate that he would not be moved on the matter.
‘Well, maybe just for a day or two, until the fuss dies down,’ Elaine conceded, much to the amusement of Jack who raised his prolific eyebrows in response to her naiveté.
‘So what about me? I’m not leaving her and I don’t care what any of you say,’ Brodie said, glowering at Dan.
Dan started to speak, but Elaine stopped him, squeezing his hand and shaking her head to force his silence on the matter, ‘Brodie, it may not be our choice. Your brother will have a say in it, and he might want to take you home with him.’
‘So you don’t want me with you then?’
Elaine sighed and rubbed her forehead, as if the action could erase the lines that had settled there in the aftermath of the day’s events. ‘It’s not that, of course I’d like you to stay with me, but Tony is your brother. It’s up to him where you go, with your mum in hospital – he’s your next of kin.’
Her reasoning fell on deaf ears, ‘Yeah, but you’re my sister so you get equal say. Anyway, I’m sixteen soon, I can do what I like.’
‘Brodie, I’ve been your sister for a matter of a couple of hours, and I’m not sure it works like that. Besides, it’s not up to me either way. I can’t insist that Dan takes you in too can I?’
Brodie shot a look at Dan, putting him firmly in her sights, ‘So you won’t let me come then?’
Dan was in a tight corner, he didn’t want to risk another eruption of Brodie’s temper, or provoke his own. He had no idea what had made him speak to the girl so cruelly earlier, he could see how much this was screwing her up and he really felt for the kid. He owed her an apology and he wanted to help. ‘When Tony comes, we’ll talk to him. If he says you can stay with Elaine, you can stay. But it’s up to him OK?’
A look of glee spread over the girl’s face. ‘He will,’ she said, confident of her ability to convince everyone that she should have her own way.
The adults exchanged glances.
‘Well, either way, I suggest you ladies get yourselves packed and ready to go. Brodie I’ll come next door with you, I need to talk to Miriam,’ Jack said, holding out an arm to guide her lest she should protest.
When they were alone Dan turned to Elaine, ‘You don’t have to give in to her you know. If you’re not up to coping with her, I’ll tell her.’
‘I can cope with Brodie. She might be a stroppy teenager sometimes but she’s a sweetheart really. But equally you shouldn’t have her if you can’t cope. I have to say that I would be loath to walk away from her now.’ Elaine said.
‘I’m pretty sure I can cope, it’s just that I didn’t enjoy the way she did that. I hate being bested by teenagers!’ he said, with a laugh so that she would know he didn’t have a problem with Brodie.
Elaine laughed, ‘Don’t we all, but they seem pretty good at it. Anyway, I feel for her, she’s had a really rough time and to be cut out of the loop now would be awful for her. Besides, the brother might put his foot down.’
Dan pulled a face, ‘Really? You reckon he won’t back down? I caved and I only met her this morning. The person I care about is you, and you’re the person I am more concerned for. I do feel for Brodie, but she has a family. You’re on your own with this.’
‘Me? I’m fine. Sure it’s all come as bit of a shock, but I’ll be fine, honest.’ She wasn’t entirely sure whether she was trying to convince Dan or herself. Old habits drove her to reach up and touch the scar. She could see that he’d noticed and blushed, ‘I need to stop doing that don’t I?’
‘You need to stop worrying about it. It’s probably the least of your problems right now, the police have arrived.’ He nodded towards the window where a car had just pulled up.
*
The police interview was long and arduous. There were questions that Elaine just couldn’t answer. The part involving her disappearance seemed brief in comparison to the scrutiny they wanted to give the subsequent years. She couldn’t tell them about Jean’s history because she didn’t know it. She couldn’t tell them about Jean’s husband, the man she had understood to be her father, because she hadn’t known him. She had grown up in the one house, with the one woman who she had believed was her biological mother. Whatever way they asked the questions, she couldn’t spin it any other way.
‘So,’ the officer asked for the third time, ‘explain to me again how you came to be in Hallow’s End on this occasion.’
‘I can only give you the same answer that I gave you before. My mother died and I wanted to scatter her ashes. She had no particular affiliation with any other place, but was born here. It seemed logical to bring them here.’
‘You said earlier that she had family here, the Tylers, and that you planned to scatter her ashes in their garden. What made you change your mind?’
‘Rosemary Tyler was very specific when she told me that she and my mother were not close. The property is in a very different state now to how it was as my mother remembered it. The whole thing seemed very inappropriate, so I changed my mind and scattered her elsewhere.’
‘And where was that again?’
Elaine groaned inwardly, every time they made her say it she felt more embarrassed about what she’d done, ‘I put her inside the clump of rhododendrons at Hallow’s Court. It seemed as good a place as any other. I know I should have asked permission and I know it seems like a foolish and callous thing to do. But there it is, I can’t change it.’
The young officer raised his eyebrows at the note of hostility in her tone, ‘No need to upset yourself, I’m just trying to establish the facts.’
Dan, hovering in the background playing tea boy, had heard enough. ‘I think you have established more than the facts and are straying into irrelevancies. Miss Ellis has had enough. Unless you have anything further to add or ask I think we’re done here, don’t you?’
The officer treated him to an imperious glance and turned to his notes, ‘I think we have enough for now.’
Dan opened the door and held it, ‘Good, thank you.’
The officer took his time, despite the apologetic glances of his female colleague, but eventually they left. It was well into evening time by then, and Elaine had been acutely aware that Brodie had been peering through the window at them every five minutes for the last hour.
‘Let her in will you?’ she said, looking at Dan and feeling as if she was going to pass out from sheer emotional exhaustion at any minute.
Brodie bounde
d through the door like an enthusiastic Labrador, ‘Tony says I can come with you.’ She was clearly excited at having secured yet another victory.
Fortunately the girl didn’t see Dan’s reaction to the news as he was standing behind her. But the rolling of his eye behind Brodie’s back wasn’t lost on Elaine. She might have smiled if she hadn’t felt so utterly wiped out.
‘He wants to see you, is that OK? He’s over at Miriam’s – I can go and get him.’ Brodie’s eyes were bright with enthusiasm at the prospect of reuniting the long lost siblings.
Something inside Elaine started to fray and unravel. The uncoiling of sorrow and despair made her question whether she wanted to meet a man who would let his sisters be taken by strangers, no questions asked. He’d had an excuse with her, he’d been a child, but he was a man now and it ought to have been different for Brodie. ‘No, it’s not OK. I’m sorry Brodie, but I’ve had enough for one day, really. If he’s still here tomorrow I’ll see him then. I’m going to bed, I need to sleep. I need to not talk, and I need to not think. Enough, OK?’
Brodie had never heard Elaine speak like that and it shocked her, ‘OK, aren’t we going tonight then?’ She had brought her bag with her and was ready for the off.
Elaine had stood and was making her way towards the stairs, ‘No. I doubt I could crawl to the car if I tried. We’ll go in the morning.’
‘But what about the papers?’
Elaine paused and turned back to the girl. ‘Fuck the papers Brodie. If you want to stay here tonight you can, it’s up to you. But I’m done.’ With that she hauled herself up the stairs and shut the bedroom door. A second later she opened it, ‘Dan, will you make up a bed for Brodie on the sofa and then get up here please?’ She slammed the door, leaving them in no doubt that she meant business.
Dan and Brodie exchanged astonished glances, ‘Well, I guess that told us then. You go and tell your brother that Miss Otis regrets and all, and I’ll make your bed up, if you still want to stay that is?’