by Carew, Opal
She nodded, and he glided his finger along her cheek, then she settled her head against his chest again.
“As it turns out, he was only too happy to replace her. It seems she’d been indiscreet while having an affair with two of the partners at the same time, causing jealousy and a lot of friction around the office. The only reason they’d kept her around was because of her connection to me. As soon as I severed that, they fired her.”
“So she’s out of a job?”
“Kate, you can’t tell me you feel sorry for her.”
“No, it’s not that. When she was here, she wanted to get the ring, saying it was hers and she shouldn’t have given it back to you.”
“It was never hers.”
Kate nodded. “But do you think she would actually have taken the ring? She said something about moving to California to start again, and that the ring would go a long way toward a down payment on a house.”
“She would certainly have trouble finding work in New York again after the problems she’s caused. I wouldn’t put it past her to take the ring. Then, if I tried to charge her with theft, she might find a way to turn it around on you if you had let her take the ring, or just deny that she had it.” He shrugged. “Or she probably just expected that I couldn’t be bothered going after her for it.”
She tightened her arms around him. “I’m just glad she’s no longer a part of our life.”
Our life. She gazed up at Matt. She so much wanted a shared life with him. She loved him so much her heart ached.
But there was something standing in the way of that, and she had to know what it was.
“Matt, last night you wouldn’t talk about it, but I really want to know about the woman you bought the ring for.”
“Kate…”
“No, please. I know she hurt you. And I assume you still love her. But you need to move on with your life. You need to get over her.”
“Kate, that’s what I’ve been trying to do.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and pressed her back. Their bodies parted and the comfort of being close to him slipped away. He stared at her, pain emanating from his eyes. “But it’s harder than you know.”
“Why, Matt? Who is she? What did she do to you?”
“She didn’t do anything. It’s what I did.”
She looked at him, confused. She couldn’t imagine Matt doing anything that would drive a woman away.
He tucked his finger under her chin and tilted her face toward him. “And the woman is you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“Kate, I bought the ring for you. Before the party. Ileana came with me to pick it out. I was going to propose the following weekend.”
Her chin trembled as she gazed at him. “You were going to propose … to me?”
He nodded. “I had it all planned out. I booked a romantic getaway and I was going to propose on bended knee under the stars. I bought this house for us to live in.” He stroked her cheek with yearning in his eyes.
“Oh, Matt.” She surged forward and kissed him, her lips moving on his passionately.
His arms swept around her as he answered her loving kiss.
“Oh, Matt, I love you.”
His eyes turned guarded and he tried to draw back, but she tightened her arms around him.
“Kate, I shouldn’t have told you that. It was selfish and—”
She stopped his words with another kiss, wanting to break down his resolve.
“No, I won’t let you take it back. You love me. No matter what else you have to say, no matter what happens in the future, right now I know you love me.” She stroked his cheek, tenderness flooding through her. “And I love you. Give me this.”
Emotions warred in his eyes, then he relented and dragged her against his solid chest again. His mouth consumed hers, his tongue delving deep. She opened, welcoming him. Her heart pounded in her chest as their tongues danced. She ran her hands along his cheek, stroking his stubbly chin, elation flooding through her.
“No, Kate. There’s more. I need to tell you—”
She covered his mouth again, at the same time grasping his shoulders and pushing him back on the bed.
She locked gazes with him. “No, you don’t.” She ran her hands along his shoulders, then down his muscular chest. “Not now.”
Because she knew she didn’t want to hear it.
“Right now, I want this.” She leaned forward and nipped his shoulder, then kissed her way down his chest. “Knowing you love me. Sharing that love.” She dragged her tongue over his tight nipple. “I won’t allow anything to ruin it.” She licked his other nipple, then sucked, eliciting a groan.
“Kate.” He rolled her over until his solid masculine body hovered over her.
For a moment, she thought he was going to release her and roll away, but then his lips swooped down and claimed hers again. When he released her mouth, she was breathless.
“I do love you, Kate.” His dark gaze pierced her. “And I want this just as much as you do.”
The passion of his kiss unnerved her, but she opened to him, then glided her tongue inside his mouth, exploring the hot depths. Their tongues tangled until finally she drew back and sucked in air.
“I love you, Matt.” She pressed on his chest and he allowed her to roll him onto his back, then she prowled over him, resting her knees on either side of his thighs, his swelling shaft a hard ridge against her aching wet flesh.
She stroked his chest with both hands, loving the feel of solid muscle under her fingertips. He ran his hands over her shoulders, then down her chest, his fingertips sending electrical impulses of pleasure rippling through her. When his thumb brushed her nipple, she gasped and arched toward him. He drew her forward and licked her nipple, then suckled lightly. Her head spun as she moaned at the exquisite sensation.
She glided her body forward, then back, dragging her slick opening over his growing shaft. It was so hard and solid. Stroking her. He drew her down until her breasts crushed against his hard chest and he cupped her cheek, then their lips met again. She glided her tongue inside him, reveling in the warmth of him, and the magic of sharing this closeness.
“Matt, make love to me.”
He smiled, lighting up his whole face. “I will, my sweet.” He stroked her cheek, then rolled her over until she lay trapped beneath his solid body. “But after I taste you.”
He prowled downward with a beaming smile, then pressed her legs wide. His mouth lightly brushed her upper thigh and she arched. When his tongue grazed her slick folds, then pressed into them, she moaned.
“Oh, Matt. Yes.”
He licked inside her as his fingers explored. Two slid inside, just a little, and his tongue found her clit. A thin, trailing moan erupted from her as he licked and cajoled. His fingers glided deeper and she arched. Her fingers twined through his hair as her nerve endings blasted her with pure sensation. She drifted on a cloud of bliss.
Matt loved her.
He suckled her bud and she gasped again, then exploded into ecstasy, her fingers tightening around his scalp. He continued sucking and licking as pleasure blasted through her.
Finally, she collapsed, and he gazed up at her, his eyes gleaming.
A deep need pulsed within her. She needed to join with him. To feel his hot, hard shaft inside her. Her need must have shone brightly in her eyes, because he kissed up her body, then settled his knees between her thighs.
“I want you, Kate.”
She nodded. “Yes.” She stroked his shoulders. “Fill me, Matt. I want you inside me.”
His lips found hers in a potently gentle kiss, as his rock-hard flesh brushed her opening. Slowly, his solid erection pushed into her, her soft flesh stretching around him as she accepted him into her body.
“Oh, Matt.” She gazed into his midnight eyes and could barely believe the depth of the love shining there. It blazed like the noonday sun, filling her with warmth.
He surged forward, until he was fully immersed. She clu
ng to him, holding him tight against her, wishing she could keep him this close forever. He twitched inside her and she laughed in pure joy. He nuzzled her neck.
“My God, you are so soft.” He kissed her, his tongue gliding deep.
She stroked it with her own, reveling in the powerful intimacy of the moment. Then their gazes locked and it was as if the world around them melted away. Only the two of them existed in this place, in this time. In a brief moment of eternity.
Kate knew she would never stop loving this man. No matter what happened. No matter what he told her.
“Kate, what is it?”
She realized a tear had welled in her eye and she shook her head. “Nothing, I just love you so much.”
A shadow flickered in his eyes, but he melded his lips with hers and the intensity of his kiss took her breath away.
“And I love you.”
Then he drew back and surged forward again. His hot, hard shaft filled her and she tightened around him, trying to keep him inside her, but he glided away, then surged deep again.
“Oh, Matt.” Her reedy words ended on a whimper as his hard, masculine body crushed her to the bed.
He moved back and forth within her, his powerful thrusts driving her to heaven. She whimpered again, clinging to his shoulders.
“Kate, come for me, sweetheart. I want to see your face in the sweet state of bliss.”
The pleasure already swelled within her, but his words sent her spinning over the edge.
“Oh, yes. Oh, Matt.” She wailed as blissful streaks of pure ecstasy glided through her. She arched against him.
He thrust again and she wailed as an orgasm exploded within her, with Matt deep inside her, his arms wrapped around her, the two of them joined as one.
She squeezed his hard flesh inside her.
“Kate. Yes.” He groaned and hot liquid filled her, driving her pleasure higher.
They rode the wave of ecstasy together, clinging to each other. Finally, they collapsed together, gasping for air.
* * *
Matt rolled back, taking Kate with him, holding her tight to his chest. She snuggled against him and he stroked her long hair as their rapid breathing slowed to a more normal rate. Her breath brushed across his skin, stirring the hair on his chest.
God, he wanted to hold her like this forever. To make her his wife and keep her close to him.
If only he could undo the past and make everything okay. If only he could just hide away what he’d done and move forward from here.
But she knew he had something to tell her. There was no way to escape from what he’d done any longer.
Kate tightened her arms around his waist. “Matt, I can feel you slipping away from me.”
He kissed the top of her head. “No, sweetheart. Never.”
She drew in a breath and pushed herself to a sitting position. “I’d like to believe that, but you said there’s something you need to tell me. That there’s a reason we can’t be together. As much as I don’t want to hear it, I need to know what it is so we can get past it.”
He sat up beside her and gazed into her sincere blue eyes. Hope welled in him that maybe, just maybe, she would understand and they could get past it, then forge a loving relationship together.
He took her hand and kissed it, then held it within both of his.
“Kate, when you walked out on me two years ago, I was devastated. I knew you’d been holding back, that there was something about our relationship that bothered you…” He squeezed her hand. “Actually, I knew it had to do with your submissiveness … but I really thought we’d work it out. I bought the ring … I planned on proposing the following weekend. I thought once you knew how serious I was about you, that we could talk about it. That we could work everything out.”
He released her hand and stood up. He couldn’t be this close to her when he told her. He needed distance. He needed to feel that old pain … so he could explain properly.
“When we went to Ileana’s party, I couldn’t believe that you’d just ditch me like that. That you’d go off with another man.”
“Why did you believe it, Matt?”
He gazed at her, shaking his head. How could she not understand?
“Kate, you kept a part of yourself separate from me. Closed off. You never let me inside. That means that every day I felt rejected by you. Every day I felt the ‘keep out’ sign you had posted on your heart. I loved you. I thought you loved me. So a part of me couldn’t believe you would just walk away. But another part … the part that felt that rejection so deeply … expected it.”
Kate stared at him with wide eyes, her head shaking.
“But, Matt, I never wanted to hurt you. I never would have just walked away.”
“But you had thought about leaving, right?”
Her lips pursed and he could see the truth written across her face.
Her hands clenched around the sheets. “I told you how much my submissiveness disturbed me. It wasn’t you. It was how I acted.”
“It doesn’t matter how much you say it wasn’t me, it was me you were rejecting.”
“Only because you were the one who brought out that side of me.”
“Do you think that made the rejection any easier?”
Her big blue eyes gleamed as she gazed at him. “Oh, Matt, but I didn’t leave you. I probably wouldn’t have.”
His hands balled into fists. “But in a way you did, every time you held a part of yourself back. And then you did for real.” He waved away her protest. “I know now that you left because of the lies you’d been told about me, but from my point of view at the time, you left me. Because you didn’t really love me. It was a rejection so complete, and so sudden, it tore my heart in two.”
He stared at her, the pain of that rejection searing through him. Her gaze darted away from him.
“Don’t get me wrong, Kate. I know it wasn’t your fault. Now. But back then, I thought you’d simply found someone else and walked out of my life. I didn’t understand how you could do it in such a callous way and, at first, I didn’t believe it. That’s why I kept calling you. But you wouldn’t answer me. Then you asked to be taken off the project for my company. I couldn’t argue with the facts.” He turned his palms to her imploringly. “What else was I supposed to believe?”
She stood up. “Matt, I’m sorry for what you went through.” She stepped toward him, but he shook his head and turned away.
“Don’t be. I have more to tell you.” He paced across the room, then turned to face her again, a comfortable distance between them.
“A few weeks after it all happened, I was at a fund-raiser and the president of the consulting firm you worked for approached me. We talked a bit about general matters, then the conversation turned to the usual business stuff. He wanted to ensure the transition to a new project leader had gone smoothly, after you’d left the project. He knew I didn’t deal with the project directly, but that I keep pretty close tabs on everything that goes on in my company. After that, he mentioned that he’d asked for a recommendation from my personnel manager to help place you on another project, and he hadn’t heard back. He asked if I could expedite the process because they needed the reference for a new client project. That this client was getting impatient and nothing could move forward until they had the reference. He assumed I’d give you a glowing review.”
He and Kate had been careful not to let anyone on the business side know about their romance, but everyone knew that Matt thought highly of Kate and her work. She did excel at what she did and he ensured his staff knew he recognized that.
“Of course, I couldn’t tell him I would give you a good reference. Even though that would be the professional thing to do, I really didn’t give a shit about professionalism at that point. I was hurting.”
“You gave me a negative review?”
“No, I gave you no recommendation at all. But it seems, at that same party, Ileana, who was my companion that night, made a point of giving your boss a friendly
word of warning that you would never be welcome at Cutting Edge Industries again, or at any of my other companies.”
“He wouldn’t have liked that. You were our biggest client.”
“That’s right. I knew what Ileana had said to him, and I didn’t correct her. Of course, why would I? It was true.”
“Matt, I understand why you’d feel that way. I felt the same way about you. That’s why I left the project. But that doesn’t have to affect us now.”
“But that’s not all.” He paced. “I instructed Personnel not to give a reference for you at all.” His mouth compressed into a thin line. “Ileana pushed me to do it—to hold back a reference—but ultimately it was my decision. I should have been a bigger man, but…” He shrugged. At the time, it hadn’t seemed anywhere near enough to punish her for her rejection. He knew she was good at what she did, so she’d be okay. He just didn’t feel like helping her after the pain she’d caused him.
“But it seems the word got out that you weren’t welcome at Cutting Edge Industries, and it’s a small tech community, after all.”
* * *
Kate watched the pain etching Matt’s features. She could understand why he would refuse giving her a recommendation given the situation. But she remembered how hard it was when her boss told her they were having trouble finding a contract for her, then after a few weeks of her sitting on the bench, how they’d finally laid her off, telling her there wasn’t enough work.
“That’s why I was let go.”
He nodded. “That’s not all. When you went looking for work elsewhere, the other consulting companies refused to take you on because your reputation was rapidly crashing. Cutting Edge wouldn’t recommend you, your ex-employer had dropped you like a hot potato, and any firms that did come asking about you quickly got the idea they were taking a big chance with their own reputations.”
“Are you saying that they were afraid to be associated with me because your company wouldn’t have anything to do with me?”
He shrugged. “That’s the way it is in business. One black mark can destroy a career.”