He hadn’t considered my work, where I would live, nothing. For him to stop me dying, he’d taken everything that was familiar from me. I couldn’t even leave town now but then if I was honest with myself, I hadn’t even thought about leaving as in seriously thought about it for a while. Damien had consumed more of my time than I realised I guess.
“My life is over though and you can’t see that. You’ve condemned me to an eternity of uncertainty.” I shrugged past him and picked up the clothes Francesca had found for me to wear. Quickly I pulled them on, or squeezed myself into them at least. She was a lot smaller than I was, but the skirt fit just, and the top was so tight my breasts nearly spilled over the neckline of it, but I was dressed although for how long I wasn’t sure. Unfortunately the black skirt finished at mid-thigh and the top couldn’t quite meet the skirt so an expanse of my stomach was exposed. Once I was dressed, I turned back to Damien who was standing looking clearly confused, a frown marring his forehead.
“What do you mean babe?” His question only confirming what I already knew; he hadn’t considered at all how this would impact me. Fucking men, they were completely clueless with women whether human or vampire.
“Have you forgotten? I’m supposed to be going home to the house I share with Chloe and Cassie, then tomorrow night I work at the strip club. Now, how do you propose I do any of that?” I asked, my voice dripping sarcasm.
“You don’t need to work at the club any more. I can take care of you. You can move in here.”
I spun around to face him, gaping in shock. “Are you fucking kidding me? I can’t live here, I have to work. If I don’t work, I have no money and with no money, I can’t survive.”
Damien’s eyes were filled with tension when he finally met my gaze again. “Babe, you can’t work and you can’t live with Cassie and Chloe now you’re vampire. I thought you would have known that. I’m sorry but everything has changed for you but you’re alive.”
“I don’t want to be alive. I told you not to do this to me. You have sentenced me to death but it’s like being on death row forever. You should have let me die.” My voice was little more than a whisper before I walked out the door.
I heard Damien following me but he didn’t say anything more until we were back in the living room where Fabian, Sirene, Lucian, Francesca and Arissa were all talking.
“So we welcome the newest vampire to the fold. Is she still trying to kill you bro?” Lucian grinned at us but his face sobered when he saw our expressions. “Oh trouble in paradise I think.”
“Drop it Lucian.” Damien snapped but Lucian laughed.
“So what’s she done this time? Did she throw the bed at you when you tried to fuck her?”
“Leave them alone son.” Fabian interrupted quietly. “What is wrong? I need you two to sort this problem before I let you go out on your first hunt.”
I snorted. “You think?” I snapped. “Do you know what turning me vampire has done for me?” I laughed when I realised what I’d just asked him. “Well, maybe you do, but then I guess it depends on how long you’ve been vampire.”
“I’ve been vampire for over six hundred years.” Fabian replied. “Well, there was a short time as human again.” He smiled at Sirene as he said that. “I am well aware of the effects it has on us. Everything changes and it will forever. We can’t stay in the one place for too long because eventually people will see we aren’t aging. We can stay longer if we stick together and don’t get to know too many humans personally. The fewer people we know, the fewer will see that we don’t change as the years pass.”
“You say it like it’s nothing.” I said, tears welling in my eyes. “How can I possibly return to Cassie and Chloe? How do I continue to work? Won’t someone sooner or later realise I’m not human? How can I be around people and not want to drain them? If they piss me off, and trust me they do at work, how do I stop myself from killing them?”
“You will have to live here Flame and you can still work but you will need to get yourself under control first. One glimpse of your fangs and you will expose what you are. That would be very dangerous to us all. People fantasise about vampires but they don’t know we are real. Fantasy and reality should never meet and if you expose us, you will die. I suggest you work on your control and then you can go back to work with one of us there to keep an eye on you. Sirene works and she’s vampire. She has escaped detection because she has always had remarkable control. Haven’t you my beauty?” He reached for her drawing Sirene into his arms and kissing her. Their passion rose swiftly and I turned away, my eyes meeting Damien’s. I could see desire in his gaze and when I looked down at his groin, he was hard.
I felt myself grow damp between my legs but I ignored the answering desire that rose in me and turned from him. As hot as the sex had been down in the dungeon I was so angry with him and so riddled with guilt inside, I wanted and needed to fight him at every turn. He had to understand how angry I was, how lost I was feeling at the realisation that my life was going to change in ways I struggled to comprehend and definitely failed to deal with.
“You make it sound so easy Fabian but I don’t see it that way. I can’t just come and live here, and how long am I going to need to stay away from work before I can control myself? How long do you think my asshole boss will hold my job for me, while I try to reach the point where I don’t want to drain the blood supply, or break the necks of half the stupid horny men who grope me every damn time I go to work?”
“I can’t answer that for you, but be patient; work hard and try not to be too hard on my son for caring too much to watch you die. I saw you Flame; I saw the injuries you sustained. I can’t blame Damien for wanting to turn you. He was in quite severe shock over the accident and although he will probably be angry at me for pointing this out, he blames himself for the accident.”
That got my attention. “Why on earth would you think this was your fault? That man was trying to outrun the police. He’s the one who ran a red light.”
God, as angry and upset as I was the accident was not his fault. If he really thought it through, he would realise the whole thing was my fault, and that was why I was struggling so much with all of this. I caused this, really, it was my fault. I didn’t want him blaming himself. I just wanted him to understand why I felt so lost, so much like a piece of driftwood floating out to sea, not knowing where it would end up. I was scared, so fucking scared of everything. I’d had to learn to take care of myself when my parents abandoned me; so suddenly being dependent on others, scared the hell out of me. They would abandon me too, so would Damien. Everyone always left me or didn’t want me sooner or later.
I couldn’t let them see inside me, my fears, my insecurities, my terror at feeling like I’d lost all control. I had to focus my anger at Damien for turning me against my wishes, and hide the rest. Hell it should be easy. I’d spent years using sarcasm, anger and just being a bitch to protect myself from being hurt. I’d let my guard down once and nearly ended up doing time. I’d stupidly let Damien in before the accident, and now I was paying for it, and I would for eternity.
Damien’s expression was filled with pain when he met my eyes. “If I hadn’t been so preoccupied teasing you I would have paid more attention before driving through the intersection. I might have heard the siren of the police car. If I’d paid more attention we might not have crashed, and you wouldn’t have been hurt, and you wouldn’t be vampire and hating me with everything in you right now.”
I stared at him and felt the first tiny crack forming around my heart for him. It was only a tiny crack though, but his face told me just how badly he was punishing himself. He really thought he was responsible for what happened. He changed me against my will but no way in hell would I ever blame him for the accident itself. The truth was, if he thought about it, really thought about it, he’d work out, who really was to blame for all that had happened.
“It’s not your fault Damien. I would never blame you for the accident itself. I…I don’t hate you�
��I…I just…I just don’t know how to forgive you. I don’t know how to stop being angry with you and I don’t know how I’m ever going to accept what I have become. If this had happened because I wanted it, then it would be different but I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry babe. I’m sorry you hate me and that you hate what you have become. Come on, Fran and I will take you hunting. I will teach you how to survive as vampire and control your urges so you can have your life as close to normal as possible. I know you will never forgive me.” He turned away and walked from the room, his whole demeanour one of defeat.
“Oh my god, what have you done to our fun loving, doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone vampire?” Fran turned on me. “I want the old Damien back. Stop being such a baby over what’s happened. Sometimes life just sucks and you can’t control it.” She suddenly broke off and burst out laughing. “I just realised what I said. You do suck but you can control it. Pull your fucking big girl panties up and grow a set.” She flung at me before following Damien out the door.
Unsure how to respond to Francesca’s outburst, I shot a look around the room and followed her and Damien from the house.
When we stepped outside I stopped, breathing in all the scents I could smell on the breeze. I’d never noticed anything like it before but it seemed that now I had my heightened vampire senses, I was aware of the sounds and smells of the humans around us; the most noticeable thing being the smell of their blood. There weren’t even any people outside, but their blood still teased and tempted me. How the hell was I going to control myself when in a crowd of humans? They would be all around me.
“When you’re ready.” Francesca’s sarcastic tone drew my attention and I hurried after them, climbing into the car. Fabian sure had a lot of cars; some parked in the driveway, others in the carport and even more in the huge garage that ran under the house.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Shopping, we’re taking you shopping.” Francesca grinned.
“What?” I stared at her dubiously. I wasn’t too sure taking me to a shopping centre was the wisest idea.
“No shopping babe, the car park; there’s usually people getting around. Not too many for you to deal with and we can be discreet. Fran and I will be there to keep you under control.” His eyes met mine briefly as he drove. “You’ll be fine. I know you will. There will be people there but not too many to test your control at this point.”
By the time Damien pulled up at a large shopping centre, I was starving. When we climbed out of the car I was immediately assailed by the smells of the humans getting about. The sweetness of their blood tempted me and I felt my fangs tingling. Unable to stop them, they descended and I slapped a hand over my mouth to hide them.
“Get her someone brother while I watch her. She’s already lost control, her fangs are down.” Fran said staring at me. “Get it together, make them retract. One trick when you’re new is to think about something horrible. Something you hate something that you would normally find disgusting.”
Damien shot a look at me before disappearing into the night, weaving his way through the cars and as I watched him, I struggled to rein in my hunger. When I finally got my fangs to retract, I couldn’t help the wide grin that lit up my face.
“Good one. You did it.” For once she didn’t sound sarcastic or flippant.
Just then Damien approached with a man who looked to be in his mid-forties. He was quite overweight and not particularly appealing but my focus was less on his appearance and more on the smell of the blood pumping through his body.
“Take his wrist babe. He’s under mind control so he has no idea what’s happening. When you feed, you must monitor their pulse. When it slows, you stop, ok?”
I barely listened to him, hastily grabbing the broad wrist of the man and with a throaty growl; I buried my fangs in his meaty neck. I felt the vein pop and his blood began to flow into my mouth. It wasn’t as sweet as the paramedic’s had been but I was so fucking hungry, I didn’t care and fed frantically, swallowing noisily.
“Remember his pulse.” Damien’s voice penetrated my blood induced feeding frenzy and I struggled to pause long enough to feel if I was taking too much from the man. His pulse was still ok, or so I thought and I resumed my feeding until finally what felt like mere seconds later, the man’s pulse began to falter slightly.
With a frustrated growl I tore my fangs from his neck, my tongue licking up the drops that hung from them and I stumbled back, needing to distance myself from the man and that blood I wanted so badly.
I watched Damien lead him away and Fran explained that he would be giving him enough blood to heal the puncture wounds before being taken back to his car where he’d clear the man’s memory of what just happened. “You did well Flame; very well for your first night as vampire.” She sounded sincere in her praise but I was already looking beyond her.
I found myself unable to focus fully on what she was saying because my body was starting to quiver. I could smell the blood around me; hear the voices, the beating hearts of the humans, but all that was becoming overshadowed by a strange feeling inside me. It rose, sweeping through my body and when Damien appeared again, walking towards us through the rows of cars with that long legged, swagger he had, I stared at him, my eyes raking the length of him. Fuck, he looked good, really fucking good.
I vaguely heard the sound of Francesca laughing. “Brace yourself brother dear, it’s happening.” I briefly wondered what she meant, but I was too focused on him to question her. In fact I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and as he reached us, I moved, launching myself onto him. Frantically my fingers tangled in his hair, holding him still as my lips crashed against his, suddenly desperate for him. It was so intense, so overpowering; I felt overcome with lust, overcome with a need to fuck him.
I kissed him, clutching his head, forcing him to open to me, so my tongue could tangle with his and dimly, in the midst of my crazed desire, I heard more laughter from Francesca and her voice again.
“I think she’s just got that first rush of the after blood lust Damien. You might want to get her home before she fucks you right here in the car park.”
Her words made me curious and I wanted to question what she meant, but right now, I couldn’t stop kissing Damien or clawing at him, wanting him closer; trying to almost climb my way inside him. I could hear Fran’s words but they did little more than register as background noise for me as all my focus, all my wants, my needs, all my attention was on Damien.
Chapter Twenty One
Damien
It took everything in him to peel Flame off himself when she’d suddenly launched at him, kissing him like a crazy wild animal. He realised at that point that someone should have warned her that the blood would trigger a desperate clawing lust in her. That was why they usually fucked and fed at the same time. If they couldn’t, they’d all been vampire long enough to control it, but Flame was a baby vampire and too new to rein in that level of overwhelming, overpowering, all-consuming lust.
“Don’t just stand there Fran, get her off me. I can’t fuck her in the middle of a damn car park.” He snapped.
Francesca burst out laughing. “Oh Damien, I bet that’s the one and only time anyone will ever hear you ask someone to remove a woman from your arms.” She slipped an arm around Flame and pulled back. “Still, I agree, fucking here, not a good idea and I don’t want to watch that particularly.”
“No, let me go.” Flame struggled to get back to him and Fran burst out laughing again.
“I tell you what brother dear. You take the wild cat in the back of the car and I’ll drive home. We need to get her back before daylight. Fabian has not branded her with the tattoo yet to protect her from the sunlight. I would prefer not to see her go from Flame by name to up in flames.”
“You know if I take her in the back I’m not going to be able to stop her. I’m going to have to fuck her.” He said.
Fran grinned at him. “Oh and that would be such a terrible h
ardship for you wouldn’t it diddums?”
“Fuck off.” He growled turning away so she wouldn’t see his reluctant smile at her words.
Fran released Flame and she immediately launched herself back into his arms and with her wrapped around him like some sort of growth, he made it to the back of the car and climbed in, while his little Firebird adhered herself to him, her lips trailing over his face before closing over his again.
Now she was vampire she was stronger than he was used to. Within seconds she had him half sprawled out on the back seat of the car and she was straddling him.
Fran got in the driver’s side of the car and Damien heard her quiet laughter when she looked back at him under Flame. “I think she’s going to rape you brother. Here’s hoping she still respects you in the morning.” She dissolved in another round of laughter as she started the car and began driving them towards home.
Damien didn’t have time for a smart ass reply to his sister because his mouth was still being violated by Flame, her tongue halfway down his throat. Fuck with her a vampire; it was like being on the wildest damn roller coaster ride. First she’s wanting him dead, well, the permanent kind of dead and now he was going to be fucked, like it or not. Flame had been a wild one as a human, moody, having a go at him one moment and fucking him senseless the next. Actually, she hadn’t changed much, she was just more volatile. It was like taking all her previous moods and multiplying them by one hundred.
She began clawing at him, her need increasing and his cock responded, pressing harder against his jeans. While he was worried that Flame would fuck him, then regret it and turn on him, in one of her crazy rages, his dick was definitely not sharing the same concerns. He wanted her so badly and there was no way in hell he could hold her off or refuse to fuck her.
She began to grind herself against him, riding him through the denim; making little noises in her throat, forcing a groan from him. Suddenly her lips were gone from his and his eyes shot open just in time to see her shifting down his legs, her hands grabbing at his belt. Hastily she unbuckled it before popping the button open on his jeans and pulling the zip down. He tensed until it was down and before he could brace himself; her hands were reaching inside, easing his aching cock out from the tight denim. Taking him firmly in both hands, she slid them from base to tip, her attention on what she was doing, giving him the chance to watch her. Her eyes, so similar in colour to his, glowed with excitement and when her tongue came out to circle her lips, he thought for a moment, she was going to unman him simply with a look. As it was, a drop of pre cum beaded at the slit of his cock and Flame bent down, eagerly licking it away.
Passion And Fire (Passion #4) Page 27