by Angela Blake
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tonight then,” Brandon said. He headed off down the beach, and Ashlyn wondered if he was going to swim in the ocean before he went back to his house. She almost wanted to join him. She hadn’t had a swim in the ocean since she had first met Brandon, and that swim had been quite a bit less enjoyable than most were.
As soon as Ashlyn had finished cleaning off her camera, she showered and carefully applied a fresh layer of makeup. She didn’t pick anything too fancy, but her clothes clearly gave the message that she was interested in him. Because, Ashlyn decided, no matter what Mark said, Ashlyn was interested in Brandon. Besides, maybe the only way to find out his real intentions for spending time with her would be to show him that she was interested.
Ashlyn’s mind floated back to their previous kiss, and she smiled. There was nothing like tasting Brandon’s lips. Now if only their kiss wouldn’t scare him off if it happened again!
A few minutes before nine, Ashlyn headed down the steps to the beach. She left her shoes and began walking toward the boardwalk where she assumed she would find Brandon. The sun was just sinking over the horizon, and the moon was already high in the sky. This would be a perfect night if the turtles were coming out.
“Hi,” Ashlyn said, coming up behind Brandon as he stared out across the ocean. She naturally slipped her hand into his, her heart beating rapidly.
“Hey,” Brandon said, turning to her with a smile. “It’s good to see you.” He took a step closer then seemed to hesitate. It was as though he wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t want to. Fear started pounding through her. Why was he hesitating? Maybe he really wasn’t interested in her, but he felt like he had to keep up the charade. Maybe the whole reason he had apologized the night before was that he felt bad for taking advantage of her.
Ashlyn quickly dropped Brandon’s hand and took a step back. He stared at her strangely. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Ashlyn swiped at her eyes, furious with herself for wanting to cry at a moment like this. She had to be strong. “I don’t get you,” Ashlyn replied simply, her hands in fists at her side.
Brandon seemed frozen. “Pardon?”
Ashlyn shook her head and sucked her cheeks in. “It’s like some moments you’re such a gentleman, and then other moments, I doubt you. I know. I can’t expect to know everything about you right away. But. . .” Ashlyn shook her head as she trailed off. What was she doing? Trying to start a fight?
“Did something happen?” Brandon asked. He took a step toward her, but he didn’t touch her. He seemed content to let her figure it out herself.
Ashlyn decided to reveal her hand. “Someone said that in watching you, they think that the only reason you are interested in me is because you want to get a higher position in acting. You want to become rich and famous, so you are using me for an in.”
Brandon stared at her. He didn’t even ask who had said such a thing. “Do you believe that person? Do I seem like the kind of person who would take advantage of other people? Someone trusted me enough to leave me in their house for three months.”
Ashlyn swallowed, feeling angry and sad all at the same time. “I don’t know what to think. I thought I had you figured out. You’re the Southern gentleman that every woman wants, but then. . .I don’t know. When someone said that to me, I couldn’t put it out of my mind.”
“That’s fair,” Brandon replied. “You don’t know me. But I can assure you that being an extra had nothing to do with being famous. Who doesn’t want a little bit of fame? I thought it would be fun to go for three days and maybe see my face on the screen when the movie came out. Sure, who wouldn’t think that? But I would never use you for anything. You are a sweet woman, and I would never think of hurting you.”
Now a tear did escape. Ashlyn didn’t even wipe it away. She just let it run down her cheek and drop off the point of her chin. “Thanks,” Ashlyn said, scared that if she let any more words out that a whole floodgate of tears might escape too. Brandon pulled Ashlyn into his arms, and she laid her face on Brandon’s chest. He gently rubbed circles into her back, and Ashlyn felt so secure that she wanted to cry. She wanted to stay there forever in Brandon’s arms. How could she have thought he would hurt her?
“I’m sorry,” Ashlyn whispered gently.
“For what?”
“For not trusting you. You’re a gentleman, and I don’t think you would hurt me.”
“Never intentionally,” Brandon replied. “But I’m not perfect. Ashlyn, I. . .you’re a very sweet girl.”
Now, a few more tears escaped from Ashlyn’s eyes. She squeezed Brandon in her arms to tell him that his words were just what she needed to hear. She finally pulled back, and Brandon quickly made busy wiping away the last trace of tears.
“Now,” he said, “let’s enjoy this evening.”
Ashlyn smiled and took Brandon’s hand. They started walking down the beach, and Ashlyn was doing more thinking than talking. Was Brandon the kind of guy that she would be with forever? A giddy part of her heart said he was. There was still a small corner of fear, though, that was telling her she should hold back.
“What are you thinking about?” Brandon asked.
“I was just thinking that I never met a guy like you before. It’s like you’re genuine, not just a fake guy.”
“That’s me,” Brandon smiled. “Genuine skin on this body. You won’t find no imitation.”
Ashlyn smiled at his sarcastic answer. As she smiled at him, she remembered their kiss. She had already blubbered like a baby in front of him. What else was she afraid of? “Why did you apologize for kissing me?”
Brandon was silent for a few minutes as though carefully considering his answer. Finally, he spoke. “You’re the kind of girl I could get lost with.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re strong, not afraid to be who you are, but that doesn’t keep you from being a woman too, emotional when that’s who you are. I guess you just used the word I mean. You’re genuine too.”
Ashlyn felt the farthest a person could possibly be from genuine. If Brandon knew 100% of the thoughts that passed through her brain, he might not use the same word. Ashlyn squeezed Brandon’s hand. “But you don’t have to apologize for kissing me. I. . .well, I really liked it.”
Brandon smiled a full smile, showing his teeth. It made Ashlyn feel happy for being honest with him. “I’m glad to hear that, did you know? I just don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you. Some girls, well, I don’t know. I usually take my time getting to know someone, but then there are some people that are on a super-fast route to I don’t know where. That’s why it surprised me when I seemed to lose control of myself. You’re something else.”
Ashlyn’s breathing was coming quickly. She wondered if Brandon felt as attracted to her as she felt to him. She took a quick glance over at Brandon. He was wearing a muscle shirt and swim shorts, ready for the ocean at any time. His arms were strong, and Ashlyn’s eyes wandered to his stomach area. She wondered if he had abs and what it would feel like to run her fingers over them.
“You’re so honest,” Ashlyn replied bluntly, trying not to let herself be distracted by his body. “In truth, I usually move very slowly, but I really didn’t mind out kiss last night.”
Brandon smiled at Ashlyn. “Good, because I didn’t mind either. Sometimes, with a person, things just click. That’s exactly what happened with us, at least that’s what I thought.”
“I know,” Ashlyn replied. “I don’t know if my job will ever take me back this way, or if it does, if you will still be here. I guess that makes me cautious.”
“Look,” Brandon replied softly. “I can’t make any promises for the future. You know that I don’t have anything planned out. But I do want to enjoy each and every day that you’re here. I want to get to know you better, and then, I guess we’ll make decisions when the time comes.”
Ashlyn nodded, her heart swept away by the idea.
Brandon hadn’t said as much, but she took his words to mean that he might be interested in a relationship with her past the short time she would be staying on the beach. But she completely agreed with everything he said. She wanted to learn as much about him as she could.
When they reached the turtle nest, there were no turtles hatching. The same ranger was sitting in a chair next to the hole, and he greeted them. They stayed maybe half an hour before deciding to walk back. As they reached the house where Ashlyn was staying, Ashlyn asked Brandon if he wanted to walk to the turtle nest with her the next night.
“I want to see those turtles hatch,” Brandon replied. “I’m going to walk out to every night to see if there is any action. And I think you would be a good companion.” Ashlyn glowed at Brandon’s words, and they shared a kiss before she went inside. This kiss was not any shorter than the last one, but when they pulled away, Brandon felt no need to apologize.
Chapter Seven
Ashlyn went out with Brandon three nights in a row, looking for turtles each day. They never saw the turtles, but Ashlyn enjoyed getting to know Brandon more and more. The beach was surprisingly quiet during the night, only a couple here or there, and Ashlyn loved her private time with Brayden.
When it came to Ashlyn’s off day, she had hoped to spend the whole day with Brandon, but he didn’t show up until his regular after-dinner time. He only had one more day as an extra, and Ashlyn would miss seeing him on the set.
“The moon is already starting to wane,” Brandon commented as they took yet another hand-in-hand walk down the beach. “If the turtles don’t come out in the next few days, then I wonder if they are going to come out at all.”
“Do you mean that the turtles can just die in their little eggs?”
Brandon nodded. “Any number of things could happen. Maybe the mom buried them too deep, and the little turtles can’t quite dig out. Maybe they simply weren’t fertilized.” Ashlyn nodded, trying to understand the process. But the truth was that she couldn’t think about anything else except Brandon. She had been excited to see the turtles the first night that they had gone out, but then night after night of disappointment caused her to feel like she might never see them. What she did look forward to was the kiss that Brandon always gave her before he left her at the foot of the stairs. Ashlyn’s stomach fluttered. She wanted more than a kiss. She wanted to know Brandon completely.
“Wouldn’t it be terrible if we spent so much time coming down here every night and we never even saw the turtles?” Ashlyn asked.
Brandon didn’t answer for a minute. “Not really. I mean, you always have to work for good things. Rarely do they fall right into your lap.” Brandon smiled at Ashlyn. “I guess it’s not true 100% of the time, though, because you came swimming out to me, and I didn’t have to do anything.”
Ashlyn smiled. She was surprised when Brandon stopped. He pulled her closer to him. “You make me go crazy,” Brandon whispered softly. A shiver that had nothing to do with the weather ran down Ashlyn’s back. She didn’t wait for him to say anything else. She pressed her lips onto his, an urgency pushing her forward. She felt something for him. She didn’t know exactly what, but she knew it was strong.
Ashlyn felt his tongue reach through and dab the tip of hers, stirring a fire in Ashlyn’s stomach. She felt the space between her legs growing warm, and she didn’t want that feeling to go away. She liked that Brandon could turn her on so easily. They kissed and kissed as Ashlyn kept waiting for Brandon’s hands to begin roving her body. Her nerves were standing on edge, sensitive to the slightest touch. Ashlyn pressed her shorts up against the front of Brandon’s, and she felt that she was hard.
She briefly broke off the kiss so that she could breath, and a small space opened between them. Brandon took both of her hands in his and squeezed them. He was breathing hard, and his eyes just searched Ashlyn’s. Ashlyn wanted him, and she tried to tell him that with her eyes. Brandon seemed hesitant as Ashlyn waited for him to initiate the next move. Ashlyn slowly guided his hand up under the edge of her shirt onto her stomach. As soon as his somewhat chilled hand touched her warm stomach, Ashlyn shivered.
“Ashlyn,” Brandon said softly. His hand seemed frozen in place. He looked at the ground. “What- what do you want?”
“I don’t know how to be any more clear,” Ashlyn replied somewhat coyly. “I want you to touch me.” Brandon bit his lower lip and groaned.
“Here?” he asked.
Ashlyn suddenly remembered they were on a public beach and the romantic bubble that she had formed around them melted into reality as she looked around. It was low tide; the beach stretched wide. A lone jogger was jogging along at the water’s edge. They were alone. Ashlyn didn’t want common sense to take over her brain. She wanted to have Brandon right then. But she knew it wouldn’t be wise. This wasn’t the place.
Her breath was coming quickly, and she couldn’t think clearly. “Just touch me,” Ashlyn said. “It doesn’t have to be anything more.”
Brandon slowly moved his hand upward, his eyes focused on Ashlyn’s lips. “I don’t know if I can stop at just touching you,” Brandon said. He gently unhooked Ashlyn’s bra, and she felt it come loose. It felt strange to watch Brandon’s face instead of kissing him as he gently explored her breasts, but it turned her on.
His hand cupped her breast, gently taking it with his fingers. His mouth opened, and he breathed loudly. As his thumb began to circle Ashlyn’s nipple, they let out twin groans. Ashlyn pushed her body up against his, not able to support the desire he was giving her without taking something for herself. She gently reached down and touched the front of Brandon’s pants with her hand.
Brandon groaned, and Ashlyn caught his eyes as he looked up at her. Ashlyn moved forward, and they began to kiss again. This time, it was not a slow, gentle kiss. Their kiss was frenzied and passionate. Ashlyn continued moving her hand up and down his erection, then she slowly bit his lower lip. Brandon groaned and pushed himself into Ashlyn’s hand even harder.
He pulled back and let the cool summer night air push its way in between them. “I think we should wait,” Brandon said.
Ashlyn couldn’t hear him very well. She stepped forward. He had said something about waiting. Could he be serious? “What do you mean?” she asked.
“I want you,” Brandon said, gritting his teeth. Ashlyn could see he was struggling. Why was he struggling? Why couldn’t he just let go and give her the satisfaction that she wanted?
“You can have me,” Ashlyn said. She stepped closer and pressed herself into Brandon. He groaned again, and Ashlyn felt a fear fluttering on the edge of her mind as she feared being rejected. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t be rejected. Not by Brandon. Brandon had begun to embody everything she wanted in a man. If he turned her down, then Ashlyn feared she might not ever find another man like him who was interested in her.
Brandon was shaking his head. “I don’t know. Maybe. . .” Ashlyn hated the tears that built up and slid down her cheeks at the same time.
“Fine!” she shouted, louder than necessary. “I see it means nothing to you that I want to. . .” Ashlyn shook her head. It felt dirty saying it out loud, now that Brandon clearly didn’t care what she felt for him.
“Ashlyn,” Brandon said. He reached for her, but Ashlyn took a step back, wiping her own tears. “It is important to me. It means everything to me. That’s why I don’t know if I can just take you, even though everything inside me is telling me to do it. There’s still something inside me that says I shouldn’t.”
“Just do it!” Ashlyn said, trying to be defiant, even though she felt rejected.
Brandon tried to reach for her again, but Ashlyn crossed her arms and refused to melt into him. She stood like a statue as Brandon wrapped his arms around her. Ashlyn didn’t feel turned on anymore. She just wanted to go home and sleep. She wanted to go home to her mom, not her temporary home with these temporary crew mates.
Brandon kissed the side of Ash
lyn’s head. He kissed it again, her hair pressing up against his lips. Ashlyn started crying. All of the rejection from previous men assaulted her. She remembered Javon’s interest, purely physical. Now here was Brandon, interested in her for some other reason, and she wasn’t allowing him to treat her like a lady. Ashlyn was broken.
Brandon gently stroked Ashlyn’s hair. Her tears eventually stopped, and she stopped shuddering. Brandon still held her. Then Ashlyn realized. Maybe Brandon didn’t really want her. Maybe he just saw her as a friend. But now, that couldn’t be. He had kissed her. He had held her hand. He was interested in her, even after most of his time working as an extra had ended.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Ashlyn murmured, still buried in Brandon’s shoulder. By this time, her arms were wrapped around him, and her eyes were closed. She felt at peace.
“Don’t apologize for being you,” Brandon gently reprimanded. “Remember, that’s one of the things I like about you. You are always so honest.”
“I don’t think you would like it about me if you were with me for a long time,” Ashlyn replied. “My mother always said that I was too emotional.”
Brandon laughed. He gave a real, from the belly laugh. “Yeah, people have said that about me too.”
Ashlyn pulled back and had to look Brandon full in the face. “What? No way.”
“Yes way! People say that I’m a guy. I’m not supposed to feel anything, but I do.” Brandon shrugged. “You just haven’t seen me get to that point yet.”
Ashlyn sighed. She no longer felt overwhelmed by the need to be needed. She felt overwhelmed with gratitude that some guys didn’t just jump at the chance to have her body. Some guys wanted to know her for who she was first.
Ashlyn looked at the ground as she reached around and re-fastened her bra. Maybe she wouldn’t do it tonight, but someday, if Brandon kept showing her this side of him, Ashlyn felt determined that she wouldn’t have sex with him, a simply physical thing. She would make love to him, something that involved the heart too.