“Yes.” Ari shivered, recalling the night. She’d never forget him asking her that question.
“Well, the truth for me is that I don’t care about the money I loaned you.”
Ari frowned. “You don’t care? Fifty grand is a lot of cash.”
“It is, no doubt, but what I’ve realized is that my asking you to pay it back by coming to work here was a form of manipulation. I wanted you to make some changes in your life that I thought would benefit you.” Ryder shook his head. “That’s not right. It’s not fair. I didn’t feel good about myself or the deal we’d made anymore.”
Ari nodded, at a loss for words at what Ryder had shared. She stood and embraced him. “Ryder, I’m so sorry.” She hugged Ryder tighter as he wrapped his strong arms around her.
“Me too.”
Ari placed her cheek on his chest, savoring the sound of his heart beating beneath her ear, the feel of his strong arms wrapped around her. “You’ve been through a terrible shock.” She pulled back to look up at him. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through.”
“I just don’t understand what kind of man could keep this kind of secret for so long. It’s unconscionable.” Ryder scoffed as he moved away from her. “I’ve admired my father as a business and family man for so long and it has always filled me with pride when someone would say I took after him. Now? Now I’m disgusted and depressed to discover I’m more like him than I ever thought.”
“You’re angry. I get it.” Ari placed her hand on Ryder’s arm. “I would be too but, Ryder, please don’t compare yourself to your dad when it comes to you and me and him and Cassie. They are two different situations.”
Ryder held her gaze. “Maybe. I’m not convinced. I still want you to consider your debt to me paid. I would ask if you could on stay until I can find suitable entertainment for The Cove, which I plan to do as soon as possible.”
“Not a problem.” Ari let go of Ryder’s arm. She didn’t want to leave. The epiphany brought tears to her eyes. She had no intentions of begging Ryder to stay if he wanted her gone.
“Good. Thank you. Ari, I want you to go back to the life you were making for yourself in Vegas.”
“Okay.” Ari gave him a bright smile, hoping it masked the heartbreak swallowing her whole. “Th-thank you for your generosity. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll be in town for the next three weeks. I’m certain I can find someone to fill your shoes by then.”
“Perfect.” It took effort for Ari to meet Ryder’s gaze. She was distraught by how cavalier he was about replacing her.
“All right.” Ryder gathered up the clothes he’d worn before their illicit romp on the beach. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Wait. You’re not going to stay here?”
Ryder’s gaze drifted over her. “I don’t think that’s a great idea. It would be all too easy for me to change my mind and make you honor the terms we agreed to.”
Make me honor my terms. Ari wanted to scream the words, anything to keep him close, in her bed. She forced a grin instead. “Understood.”
“I’m going to say goodnight.” Ryder went to the door. He turned to look at her as he opened it. “I’ve been so preoccupied with my own shit I forgot to mention I’m going to be one of the judges for that vocal competition show.”
“Congratulations. I know you’ll do a great job.”
“Thanks. Ari, I think you should audition. If you need anything…call me.”
“Goodnight.” Ari closed the door behind Ryder, watched him descend the stairs and disappear into the night. She stood at the window, uncaring of the tears slipping down her cheeks.
Ryder had released her from her loan. The relief and happiness she’d expected to feel once that had happened wasn’t there. All she felt was a great sense of loss. Ryder had told her to call if she needed anything but Ari knew she’d never do it. She needed him.
Who was she kidding? She wanted Ryder’s heart.
“Silly, silly girl.” Ari let loose a sob, disappointed in herself.
She’d known the stakes, and Ryder’s love had never been on the table.
Chapter Twelve
Ryder ended the call with his mom just as someone knocked on his dressing room door. “Come in.” He smiled at the production assistant who popped his head in.
“You’re wanted on stage in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks, William.”
William nodded. “No problem.”
Ryder assessed his perfectly moussed and styled hair. His stylist had suggested…no, harassed him about leaving the first two buttons of his dress shirt unbuttoned, and he had relented. Ryder folded the tie he’d brought to wear, astonished by the conversation he’d just had with his mother.
She was sticking by his father—despite the blow their marriage had taken—because of her love for him. Ryder was amazed by her ability to forgive such betrayal. His mom had shared with him how difficult things had been but her hopefulness for the future had left an undeniable mark on his heart. A part of him wished he’d experienced that kind of deep, abiding love.
Ryder’s thoughts drifted to Ari as he reached for his cell. He’d felt the absence of her smile every day. They hadn’t talked, besides a few texts back and forth to discuss potential replacements for her. Finding a talented, reliable, long-term replacement had proven to be more time-consuming than he’d anticipated.
Ryder unlocked his phone and checked his messages, hoping Ari had liked the female guitarist he’d sent to take the gig. He grinned when he saw a message from Ari confirming that she was satisfied with Gwen’s musical skills. His mood soured when he realized that meant Ari would probably be leaving for Vegas soon. There would be no reason for her to stay.
With a muttered curse, Ryder leaned back in his seat. If he closed his eyes, he could picture her breathless and wet beneath him in the moonlight on the beach. Erotic flashbacks of rolling with her in the sand kept Ryder up at night…literally and figuratively. For a second, when he’d asked her what she’d wanted, he’d hoped she’d tell him she wanted him, not just in that heated moment, but in her life period.
Their last conversation at the beach house replayed like a tape in his head at the most inopportune times. Like now, when he needed to focus on his job in front of the camera. Ryder grabbed a bottle of water off the vanity, unscrewed the lid and took a sip. He was glad he had admitted to trying to manipulate Ari with his offer to sing at The Cove in order to help her get her life on track. Absolving Ari of the debt and the deal they’d agreed upon felt right.
Coward.
He had wanted Ari from the moment they’d danced at the Celeb Chef premiere bash, had been spellbound by her the instant he’d heard her sing. That was the main reason he’d offered her the job at The Cove. He knew he’d get an opportunity to spend more time with her away from the craziness of Vegas. He’d expected their white-hot affair to fizzle out but he only craved Ari more—and not just in a sexual sense.
Ryder hit a button on his phone and the song he’d collaborated on with Ari began to play. Her sultry voice soothed and aroused him. Ryder gritted his teeth as his cock stiffened. It had taken all of his resolve not to show up at the ranch while he’d still been in Florida. He’d been certain he could get Ari in bed. The chemistry between them was undeniable, damn near unstoppable when he touched her, but he needed to know she was with him because of genuine feelings, not as part of some agreement.
There had been moments during their time together when Ryder would’ve trusted his gut in believing that Ari did feel something for him other than wicked lust. The surreal revelation about his dad and Cassie had him questioning everything, every emotion.
Ryder rewound his favorite part of Ari’s song, enthralled by her tone and her heart-wrenching lyrics of longing and love. She was so talented and beautiful. All she needed was that one big break and she could be the next singing sensation. He wanted to help her fulfill her dreams.
On a
whim, Ryder sent a copy of the song to another music producer who he knew had the connections to get Ari’s voice out there. Pleased, he stood to go. He wondered if Ari had considered auditioning. He ignored the notion to call and encourage her to do so one more time. After a week of judging auditions, Ryder was more convinced than ever Ari could snag a spot on the show. She had the perfect look and ability to go far in the competition.
Ryder slipped his phone into his pocket as he opened the door and exited his dressing room. He would not influence Ari to make a move either professionally or personally anymore. Whether the latter included him or not, she had to make her own choices.
* * * *
“You’ve got this, sis. How do you feel?”
Empty. Ari forced a grin as she looked at her phone, happy she’d been able to Skype her brother before auditioning. “I’m a little tense. Who would’ve guessed there were so many singers in Florida?”
“Aww. Don’t worry about any of them. You’re a star. Go shine! And call me the moment you finish, okay?”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you back.”
Ari sighed as she ended the call. Jay always brightened her mood. She’d tried to hide the black cloud hanging over her but Jay had sensed it the instant she’d answered his call. Ari had managed to successfully change the subject with the news of her trying out for the vocal talent show. She wasn’t ready to talk about anything else. She’d held back from telling Jay she would be coming back to Vegas, wanting to avoid the questions she knew would ensue.
Ari slipped her phone back into her small bag and her fingers brushed against the Taser she’d brought along. She sighed, berating her jumpiness. She didn’t normally carry the weapon but had decided to bring it at the last minute when she’d seen how many people were coming out for the auditions on the news.
Ari placed her bag into the locker in front of her and locked it. She headed back to her designated area, passing crooners and wannabe divas practicing in the hall. Her pulse quickened as her group was ushered into a small back room. She followed the instructions of a frazzled production assistant who broke them up into pairs.
Sooner than she would have anticipated, Ari was standing backstage. She clutched the curtain as the singer ahead of her received thunderous applause. How fair was it to have to audition right after Celine Dion’s clone had sang?
Not fair at all.
Ari smoothed a hand over her aqua dress. She reached up and touched her hair, still adjusting to her new natural do. Ari couldn’t help but wonder what Ryder would think when he saw it. Just knowing she’d see him in a few moments was sending her heart rate into chaotic overdrive.
The audience quieted, and Ari tuned into the judges as they gave their critiques. She clutched her hands when she heard Ryder’s deep voice. She wished she’d not chickened out the night before when she’d tried to call to tell him she was coming to audition. He would have known exactly what to say, musician to musician, to bolster her confidence. A few words from him would’ve given her the courage she needed.
Ari forced her hands at her side, wishing she hadn’t relied on liquid courage before arriving at the sound stage instead. She silently questioned her decision to have not one but two long island iced teas. She knew better, and although she’d drank them almost an hour and a half ago, she still felt some of the effects of the liquor in her system.
Ari blew out a tight breath. She’d just been so damned nervous, which wasn’t like her. Singing was the one thing she knew she could do, but she’d felt off her game for a while and it all had to do with her feelings for Ryder.
“You’re up next.”
Ari jumped when the production assistant tapped her on the shoulder and pointed for her to go audition.
“Good luck!”
Ari parted her lips to say thanks but couldn’t utter a sound as she moved forward. She stepped onto the stage, unnerved by the bright lights and sea of faceless singers waiting for their chance to shine seated in the audience. Her purple stilettos clacked loudly on the wooden flooring and her legs felt wobbly as she walked up to the mic.
The auditorium was bigger than she’d imagined and it seemed as if every seat in the place was filled. Ari blinked and focused on the panel of four celebrity judges, each a mega star in their own right. Her tummy somersaulted when she locked eyes with Ryder.
“What’s your name, love?”
Ari tore her gaze off of Ryder to look at Emma, the British pop star who’d asked her the question. “Ari. Ari Dax.”
“Welcome to the show, Ari. What are you going to sing for us tonight?”
Ari swallowed, wishing she had a glass of water to quench her dry throat. “I… I’m going to sing an original love song.”
Emma nodded. “Whenever you’re ready then.”
This was her moment. This was her chance. Ari drew in a breath and started to sing the song she’d sung in front of Ryder. She could hear his accompaniment in her head as she poured her heart into the lyrics. Her voice filled the space, every note amplified and echoing throughout the hall as Ari went on telling the tale of a woman afraid to love the man she loved because of the pain she believed might come in surrendering her all.
Ari’s vision blurred, obscuring the judges’ table. The woman in the song was her. How had she not realized that? It was so clear now. She’d written the song for Ryder, because of her love for him, and he didn’t even know how much she cared. Ari’s throat constricted and she faltered, losing track of where she was in the ballad. She tried to pick up where she’d left off but her voice cracked.
Emma held up her hand. “That’s enough, Ari. Thank you.”
Emotional, Ari simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She trembled as she watched Ryder talk with the judges.
Emma gave her a bright smile. “I’ve been designated to go first.” She acknowledged the cheers from the crowd behind their table. “Ari, you have a wonderful instrument. I enjoyed listening to you. You made me believe the story you were telling in your song. You had some trouble there at the end but I think you have what it takes to be in this competition. It’s a yes from me.”
“Thank you so much.” Ari wasn’t sure how she got those four words out as Emma pointed to Gary, front man for a successful alternative band.
“Ari, you have a lovely voice but you seemed distracted. Were you?”
Ari made a conscious effort not to fidget as she smiled. “It was a little nerve-wracking coming out here and singing in front of you all.”
Gary raised an eyebrow. “I understand, but that’s what you’d have to do every night on this show. I’m not sure you’re up to the task but I’m game to find out. It’s a yes for me for callbacks. What do you think, Candy?”
The female rapper sighed. “I think you’re a little green around the gills, boo. Talented, yes, but we all know it takes more than mad skills to be a star. We’re looking for stars here on the show and I’m not convinced yet. It’s a yes from me for callbacks too. Ryder, what do you think?”
Ari looked at Ryder, her heart pounding in her chest.
“Ari, you have a talent that can’t be denied. Your voice is beautiful, very marketable, but your performance left me questioning whether or not you are ready for this. Did you come out here and give us a one hundred percent tonight?”
Ari wet her bottom lip, finding it hard to hold Ryder’s steady gaze. “I tried.”
“Yes or no?”
Ari blinked back tears, determined not to lose it in front of Ryder and a hundred other people staring at her. “I wasn’t a hundred percent.”
“I see.” Ryder glanced down at his notes. “It’s going to be a yes from me for callbacks too. You’ll get a chance to sing and bring you’re A game for us later. We’ll make a decision at that time. Thank you for auditioning with us this evening, Ari.”
Ari forced a smile. “Thank you, judges, for the opportunity.” She waved then walked off stage to applause, numbly giving best wishes to the male singer waitin
g in the wings. She made her way to her locker and retrieved her purse in a numb fog. Ari gave mechanical responses the singers she passed, grateful to finally push through the door leading outside the auditorium. The baritone’s rich voice wafted through the doors as he auditioned, propelling Ari toward the exit. She didn’t want to hear another note.
Once outside, Ari drew in a few deep breaths, ignoring the curious looks from people strolling by. She started walking, going nowhere fast in her high heels. She’d known it would be difficult seeing Ryder again, but she hadn’t known she’d freeze up in front of him.
Callbacks? Ari hailed a cab. There was no way she could get back on that stage and sing in front of Ryder—not with her heart torn in a million little pieces.
* * * *
Ryder rapped hard on the door of the beach house. He had a key but didn’t want to bust in on Ari unannounced. It was late as hell but he didn’t give a damn. He’d been surprised and thrilled to see Ari walk out on that stage, gorgeous in her pretty dress and with a sexy new do. Desire had surged through Ryder’s blood when he’d seen he’d been right about Ari wearing her natural hair. The fact that Ari had trusted his advice and tried a different style delighted him. Any questions he had about what she meant to him had evaporated as he’d watched her take her place in front of the microphone.
He’d noticed she was jumpy right away. He’d fought the need to leap out of his seat, go to her and kiss away her nerves. Instead, he’d silently rooted for her from the moment she began her audition. Listening to Ari perform the song she’d shared with him had twisted his gut with need, and seeing her lose her concentration had been brutal. He’d given Ari an honest critique, fully expecting her to rise to the occasion and rock it during callbacks. He’d been disappointed when Ari hadn’t shown up. His discontentment had morphed into what he knew was unjustifiable anger at her decision.
A light came on in the hall then Ryder heard the lock turn. The door opened to reveal Ari looking more awake than he’d expected, dressed in a white tank top and the skimpiest boy shorts Ryder had ever seen.
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