by C. S. Moore
“Well, actually I have a couple in my locker if you want to read too…” I said hopefully, but her facial expression told me it was a no go. “And I also have a deck of cards we could play—”
“Sold! Let’s get a tan while I beat you.” She dragged me away from my locker/bookshelf.
***
Our teammates began to trickle in, and Aunt Sylvia arrived before the coach or any of the other parents did. She waved at me from the stand, still looking a bit on guard. I shook my head. I'd never known her to put any stock in dreams. We always laughed together when those psychic infomercials came on, now it seemed she would call the one eight hundred number at the bottom of the screen. I wondered off-hand if she had some kind of whimsical new age yoga instructor that liked to interpret dreams.
“Sylvia looks more nervous than usual. She can’t be worried about the meet. We all know you’ll win every match you’re in,” Clarissa said as she stretched her shoulders.
“I wish it was something that normal. She’s freaked out about some dream I had.”
She paused mid-stretch. “Are you for real? Oh, the worrywart knows no bounds! What are they going to do when we go to college next fall?”
I join her in our pregame loosening up ritual. “They'll buy a house next to campus and have us all move in together.” I smiled up at Sylvia, trying to ease her unnecessary concern. “Come on, I think everyone has showed up by now.”
We walked side by side into the cool locker room. When we turned the sharp corner, I saw that all of the girls had made it on time. We had about fourteen girls on our team. It was enough—but twenty would have been better. With our current roster, no one got a break. I didn’t mind, of course, but most of my teammates were completely drained after their first two races. I might have to go on a recruiting spree again. I felt a little guilty for missing the beginning of my coach’s pre-game speech, so I tried to look extra attentive as Clarissa and I joined the group.
“They’re from bigger schools. But you know what we have? A bigger heart—”
“And Maribel,” one of the younger girls interjected.
“Yes and Maribel, but she is just one person. This is a team, and without all of you pushing your hardest, we aren’t anything. Now go get stretched and ready, and don’t forget your gear!” Some of them would forget about their goggles and cap until right before a race.
The locker room slowly cleared out, and just me and Clarissa remained with the coach, Mrs. Winegar. “Anything we need to know about, coach, changes to the line-up or anything?”
“No, everything will be the same as last meet. I’m sure we’ll do well against North and Kelly’s, but Saint Mary’s is the biggest school we have ever gone up against. Their swim program has been around longer than black and white photography. Ours has been going for three years.” She looked down; coach hated losing almost as much as Clarissa. I didn’t care much so long as I got to swim.
We walked back out into the bright afternoon light and took our seats. Mrs. Winegar reminded everyone to stay loose. Each of us could only compete in four events and no more than two individual races, so it was easy to get cold and have your muscles tighten up on you. My events were always the two longest team relays, the individual five hundred, and my personal favorite the two hundred IM (individual medley). They were fairly well spread with only two of them back to back. Clarissa and a few other girls stood up; the two hundred medley relay was the first event. My first event was the third on the roster and waiting was always the worst part. I wished I could swim in every race… stupid rules.
As I sat watching Clarissa dominate her event, I felt my aunt’s eyes on my back. I didn’t want to turn around and wave at her like a twelve year old, so I decided to wait until my event was called. I could give her a smile before I hit my mark. Clarissa took a seat next to me, beaming.
“World!” she whispered in a throaty voice.
“Domination!” I replied in an equally deep tone. “Shouldn’t we say water world domination?”
Clarissa dabbed her face with her towel. “No way, that movie sucked!” The next race went so terribly Clarissa threw her stopwatch into the towel at her feet. “No point in clocking when we’re getting spanked that bad.”
“There really is no point in clocking since the refs and the scoreboard do it for us,” I said.
“Whatever, I’m old school.” After the race, she leaned over and whispered, “The other teams could have exited the pool and had a tea party long before our girls touched the wall, if they had a mind to.”
I laughed; she was so bad at losing. My race was next, and I bubbled with excitement. I had a pool at my house, but it wasn’t the same as this. The two girls who had lost the race returned to their chairs, dejected.
“It’s all right, you guys made good time. They were just crazy fast,” I reassured as my event was called to the block.
I made my way around to my designated perch and looked up into the stands to smile at the eyes that have never left me, but it hadn't been Sylvia’s eyes I'd felt on my back… It was his. When I saw Jaron’s face, all of the other people in the crowd faded away, and he was all I wanted to see. He looked openly curious, either surprised to see me there or wondering if I was going to do well—I couldn’t tell which. He smiled and cocked his head to the side, making me think it was the second.
“Swimmers, to the blocks,” someone called.
My heart jumped into my throat. What was he doing here? I climbed up the short ladder on shaky knees. I’d never been nervous before a race. I closed my eyes, trying to steady my pulse and ease my breathing. I shook out my arms, attempting to throw off the unease. What if I didn’t do well? I wanted to win; I wanted him to see me win. I slipped my goggles down over my eyes, hoping it would hide my tension.
“To your mark,” the annoying voice prompted.
I was usually anxious to get into the water, but I was too out of it to feel the normal excitement. I’d never had to deal with nerves before, and I just knew that I wasn’t going to do well. Bending over, I waited to hear the signal, although I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hear it over my pounding heart.
“Ready.”
I put myself in position, fighting the urge to steal a quick glance into the stands. The gun popped and I propelled myself into the water with all of the force my wobbly legs could manage. As the cool water hit my face, the anxiety eased a bit. Being completely submerged felt amazing. For a moment I forgot that I needed to give it all I had to make up for the time that my nervous muscles would make me lose. I surfaced, starting the butterfly stroke; it was the one I liked the least because it felt so awkward and unnatural. I sliced my pointed fingers through the water like a hot knife through butter.
Touching both hands to the wall, I rolled into my turn. I shoved off the surface hard, frustrated. There was no way to be sure, but it felt like the lap took me longer than it normally did. I pushed myself harder, turned at the starting wall, and flipped backward into the backstroke. This was the stroke I would usually relax in, just swim and gaze up at the clouds. But not today. If my uncharacteristic distraction cost my team the meet, I would feel terrible. They put way too much stock in me.
I thought my backstroke went okay, but my breaststroke felt like it dragged on, so I went into freestyle like a mad woman. My freestyle was a strange mix of the front crawl and what Clarissa lovingly dubbed ‘the wounded dolphin’. I had always thought that was funny, but with Jaron in the stands, I hoped I didn’t actually look like an injured porpoise. When my fingers finally touched the wall on my last leg, I was relived. Whether I'd raced a good race or not, at least it was over. I held onto the ledge and took off my goggles. For a moment I was confused. I was floating alone. Where were the other swimmers? Had something happened? I whipped my head around and saw them kicking off of the wall on the other side of the pool. I had won by an entire length. That had never happened before.
I turned my head to the stands to see Sylvia’s face; her rosy cheeks had paled
and her eyes were wide in horror. I glanced at the scoreboard and saw the time next to my name, one minute forty seconds. That couldn’t have been right; the clocks had to be off. I had always swum it in two. I didn’t think I’d ever—or any high school student had ever done the two hundred IM that fast. When I looked back to Sylvia, she was on her cell phone talking quickly. In a torrent of splashing, the rest of the girls reached the wall. They took off their goggles and turned to the board, but it had gone black.
“I’m sorry, we’re having some technical difficulties with our scoreboard. The computer techs are getting it back up now,” a voice assured over the speakers.
I climbed out of the pool, wanting to retreat back to my seat without meeting anyone else’s eye; not my aunt’s, not the wide eyed crowd’s, and certainly not Jaron’s. I felt like such a freak. How was that possible? I had never seen anyone win by that big a margin, or clock in a time that low.
“Great job, Maribel!” coach almost screamed. “Too bad about the board being off, that first time would have been a record…” She nodded behind me. “I’m happy with that time too, consistent as ever.”
I turned and read the time from board.
MARIBEL S. : 2:00:08
I was automatically relieved. Record setting wasn’t for me. I didn’t need any more attention. I already received more than I wanted. I breathed out a sigh and turned to wave at my aunt, no longer caring if it made me look like a twelve year old. She smiled down at me and gave a thumbs-up, beaming with pride. Maybe she had appeared worried after the race because she knew the time was off and didn’t want me to be let down after seeing its inaccuracy.
“Hey, girl,” I said, sitting next to Clarissa.
“You just made my margin of victory look like a loss,” she whined.
“At least you had opponents. I was racing myself. I don’t know why they were all going so slow.” I wrapped my towel around myself, chilled.
Clarissa leaned in closer. “No. They weren’t going slow. You were going fast.”
What was she talking about? My time was about the same as always, and their times were all dreadful. “No I wasn’t. Look at those times, crazy girl. Some of them fell asleep, I think. Or maybe there was something shiny at the bottom of the pool and they went diving for…” My smile faded as I took in her expression.
Her eyes were dark and confused. “Look, Maribel,” she said, pulling her stopwatch out of the towel in her lap. She handed it to me cautiously.
I took it from her, bemused. Why the cloak and dagger? I read the little digital screen.
1:40:47
“That is your time. I have never seen anyone swim like that. It was like you were flying over the surface,” she said, full of excitement.
I handed the clock back to her. “It must not be working right, Clarissa.”
She rolled her eyes. “That stupid clock doesn’t matter. I saw you!” she said, squeezing my arm. “There is no way that your time was two flat. No way.”
I shook my head. “Why would they change my time if it was right, Clarissa?” I asked, trying to reason with her.
“That’s the real question.” She shrugged.
I turned away from her and looked to the stands. I scanned the crowd but couldn’t find Sylvia, and Jaron was nowhere to be seen, either.
4
It was Saturday and I was torn. I loved my weekends; it was the only time I could really be myself and not bother with stuff I didn’t care about. Not learning. I loved learning. The rest of high school I could go without. Almost everyone treated me great, but they didn’t treat each other very well and it was hard to see every day. Sitting on the ledge of our pool kicking my legs in the water, I wondered why even now with my uncle, aunt, and only true friend, Clarissa, here there was an emptiness in me I hadn’t felt before. I looked forward to Monday, not because of the new things that I would be learning, but because I really wanted to see Jaron again.
“Ah!” I screamed as a spray of water hit my face. I cleared the moisture out of my eyes and glared at Clarissa. She was on a floating chair in the middle of the pool, grinning from ear to ear.
She tipped her neon visor up and sipped her lemonade. “I never could have ambushed you like that last weekend. What’s different, I wonder?” she said, winking at me.
Sylvia brought over a plate of fruit and sat down next to me. “She has been acting funny.” She raised her eyebrows speculatively. “Dylan and I have both noticed. If you know something, spill the beans,” she said, pointing to Clarissa.
“I know nothing,” she said and paddled away with a chuckle.
Sylvia picked up a strawberry and inspected it. Having approved it, she handed it to me. “What's going on with you, Mari? You know you can tell me anything, right?” She brushed my hair over my shoulder tenderly.
I sighed. I didn’t really know what to tell her. “Um… there’s a new boy in school.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh.”
I could tell that this was the last thing she expected. My stomach tightened in the awkward silence that fell between us. “I don’t know… it’s nothing. Clarissa is just teasing me because I thought he was cute.” I looked at her across the pool and wished I had a dart to throw at her chair.
“Really? You met him at your school?” she said, crinkling her nose.
I didn’t understand why she seemed so mystified. Maybe she didn’t realize I was old enough to like boys. I shook my head. “Yes, that's where most high school girls meet boys they want to date.”
A piece of pineapple fell from her hand, landing in her lap. “You want to date him?”
Oh jeez, that had been a bad choice of words. “No, I don’t even know him, really. I’m just saying that it isn’t anything you need to get worked up about. Girls see boys they think are cute every day.”
“Oh yeah!” Clarissa shouted from her chair, making me laugh.
Sylvia looked across the patio and watched Dylan at the grill. “You never have,” she said, furrowing her brow.
“I guess I’m growing up.”
She searched my face as if it was the first time she’d seen it. “I guess you are,” she said, emotion breaking her voice. A tear escaped her almond-shaped eye and slid down her perfect cheek.
I smiled and hugged her. I never knew my real mother, but I couldn’t imagine anyone giving me more love than Sylvia did. I always felt loss for my mom and dad, loss for people I never knew and never would get to know, but it never felt like I had no parents. “Are you going to be okay?” I asked.
She brought her slim hand to her face and wiped away the tears. “Yes, I’m fine. You just grew up too fast.”
Dylan set the plate of perfectly cooked steaks on the table behind us. “We need to meet him before you go on any dates. So if you two get the mind—you bring him here first.” He looked at me sternly, something he had never done in my life.
“Yes, sir.” I saluted him. “I really think you guys are worrying over nothing. I don’t even know if we’ll go out. I just met him yesterday.” Clarissa started paddling S.S. pain in my ass to the side of the pool so we could eat dinner. “Hold on a second, I have to pay her back for making me spill the beans myself.”
I ran to the ledge and leapt onto her chair, rocketing her awkwardly into the water. She surfaced with her visor around her neck, still clasping her drink. Pulling herself onto the shelf, she wiped her eyes and looked at me.
“You can’t rain on my parade,” she said and took a drink of her now mostly pool water lemonade.
“Honey, she just took your parade out with a tidal wave,” Sylvia interjected. “Now get over here and eat.”
***
After dinner, Clarissa and I decided to catch a movie before she had to go back home. Her sweeter-than-candy dad was gone on a business trip, like usual, and she didn’t enjoy the warm smell of bourbon that hung around her mom. Staying out of her house was a must. So we headed to the small theater downtown that showed movies about two weeks after they came
out everywhere else. I preferred books to movies, but a show was always much more fun when I got to watch it with Clarissa. And apparently the one she was dragging me to was supposed to be “He-larious.”
The sun was still up, but its light was dimming as it headed west, and the Victorian area street lamps started kicking on. They were the original wrought iron ones and very beautiful. The city had them converted from oil to electric and they gave off a warm glow that was almost as sweet as the fireflies sweeping through the trees.
The peaceful night was disturbed when we turned left down Second Avenue and something that sounded like a jackhammer attacked my eardrums.
“Holy Hannah!” Clarissa shouted. “What is that?”
I looked down the street and saw that someone was taking a large drill to the side of the building we were headed for. “It looks like they’re working on the theater.”
She rolled her eyes. “They need to work on the inside. You’d think they had never heard of stadium seating.”
I nodded in agreement, though I wasn’t sure why either of us should care. We were both tall. It was the poor shorty’s who got… well the short end of the stick in non-stadium theaters. There was a line in front of the ticket taker’s window and we queued up. The incessant drilling continued, and I turned away from the noise. Clarissa made a gagging gesture and pointed to a couple making out furiously in front of everyone.
“Ugh, why do people do that?” she asked.
“Which reminds me… Thanks for making me tell my aunt about Jaron.” I pushed her shoulder playfully. “That was so helpful, and she took it very well.”
She stretched her mouth into a pained expression. “I’m sorry, sometimes I forget—” The drilling cut her off and she waited for it to stop. “I forget how weird your aunt and uncle are. Don’t get me wrong they’re great, but the way they treat you…” She trailed off, seeming to be lost in thought. “Do you remember in fourth grade when our teacher paired us up and gave us eggs to care for like they were babies?”