“Not at all! We just ran into each other. Trust me, we don’t hang out,” she says arrogantly, stinging me. Now she won’t even look at me. She’s got her eyes locked on my mom and Jim.
Mom passes the newspaper to her and says, “This doesn’t look like running into each other, young lady. It looks like he’s holding you up.” My mom looks at me. “If there’s nothing going on between you two, then why did Jack get into a fight with some other boy?”
I look down. Mom’s smart. She senses dishonesty and won’t let it go.
Cherie takes a deep breath and puts on a great smile. “Eva, Jack was really helpful last night when a friend of mine got a little carried away. He stepped in to protect me, and the tabloids are probably just blowing it out of proportion.”
I nod my head stoically and stare at the floor.
“We realized the club was not a safe place for us, so we left. I went to Danika’s, and he came home.”
Mom can’t argue with that story, can she?
But Chloe will. “They’re lying. Tell them what you just saw, Claudia.”
Cherie and I glance up, and I find that Claudia has gravitated to her sister’s side. She looks hesitant and avoids my stare. Deep in my gut, I know she saw Cherie outside earlier. She must have. I beg her silently not to say anything.
Chloe nudges her. “Go on, tell them.”
Claudia’s voice is a mere murmur. “Cherie just came from Jack’s bedroom. I saw her sneak out.”
Cherie’s jaw almost hits the floor. “What?”
“That’s not true.” My own voice shocks me. It’s a deep, angry threat, because now I have two people to protect – my mother and Cherie. “Claudia, cut it out. Right now.”
Chloe shoots me a death glare and purses her lips. “But that is the truth, Jack.” The last syllable comes out like a smack. “She just saw her.”
Cherie recovers from her astonishment and scoffs. “Like that would ever happen.” It burns a little more than her other comment, but I know why she says it that way, so I have to just take it and stand here quietly.
Chloe looks over at her father. “There are security cameras everywhere, right? Go ahead and check them.”
The security cameras! I had forgotten all about the cameras around the property. I feel my stomach flip, and my expression must reveal how horrified I am right now because Jim raises his eyebrows at me. Cherie pales. I don’t know what to do. Every shred of me but one is screaming to just tell the truth before my mom finds it out for herself.
“Well?” Jim says finally, exchanging glances between the both of us. “Would one of you care to tell us the truth?”
I ask myself, What will happen if I don’t say anything? Mom can check to see what happened last night. She can check every night if she wants, and she’ll see it all. She would be devastated if I continue to stand here and lie to her.
“Jack? What is it, honey?” my mom calls, jolting me from my thoughts. I look up at her, and see her face is flushed with panic. She fears the worst; her fear is the reality, but she doesn’t have to know it. I can tell her just enough to keep her world intact and finally bring the inevitable end to my secret relationship with Cherie. I can tell her something – a half-truth at least.
But I can’t get the words out.
After a long silent pause, Mom stands and says, “Chloe, Claudia, I think you both need to go upstairs right now. We have to talk to Jack and Cherie.” When the girls depart, Chloe smirks at me but Claudia hides her eyes and puts a lot of distance between us. Cherie watches them with her arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapping. She looks like an irritated cartoon character, but it’s all an act. In her tight frown, I can see she is anxious.
Mom’s eyes are screaming, “Please say no. Please say this isn’t the truth,” as they dart between the image on the newspaper’s front page and me.
“One of you needs to tell us what’s going on,” Jim says finally.
I know I can’t keep this a secret anymore. There’s actual, recorded proof. Why should I lie about something they can check?
I turn and look at Jim. “The truth is she’s been coming in my room every night to go to sleep.”
Mom looks from me to Cherie and barely whispers, “Cherie, is this true?” She holds onto the edge of the breakfast table like her legs aren’t strong enough to hold her up.
Cherie shakes her head indignantly. “No!”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Cherie –”
She turns a venomous stare toward me. “Jack, just be quiet!”
“Enough!” my mom scolds. Cherie clams up, and I just shake my head in defeat.
I obey immediately when my mom tells us to sit down at the table. I feel Jim’s eyes on me, and I can tell he’s not completely convinced that I’m innocent in all this. Maybe I’m not.
I think about how I had sex with his virgin niece last night, and I know I’m not innocent at all. I hold my head in my hands and avoid looking at him.
Cherie says stiffly, “I’m going to stand right here, thank you.”
“No, you’ll sit down,” my mom replies. Her voice is firm and angry, and if I were Cherie, I would sit. Cherie realizes my mother means business and pulls a chair out. She still makes a show of dropping heavily into the seat and crossing her legs sharply.
Less than ten hours ago, she was wrapping those legs around me.
I shake the thought from my head and try to focus on the table.
“Both of you are going to tell me what’s going on,” my mom commands, leaning forward on the table. I feel like I’m nine again and just had a fight on the playground with one of my friends. “And I want the truth.
“Jack, would you like to go first?”
It’s harder for the words to come this time, especially in this proximity to Cherie. “She goes out with her friends every night and when she comes home, she doesn’t go upstairs. She comes to my room, and she stays with me.”
“And she sleeps there?”
I nod stiffly. “She can’t sleep in her room because her parents’ room is right down the hall. It upsets her.”
Mom’s chest rises and falls before she asks, “Where in your room does she sleep?”
I hesitate and look over at Cherie. What does she want me to say? Should I tell the truth?
My mom snaps at me, “Don’t look at her, Jack. Look at me. Where does she sleep?”
It’s hard to look at my mother and lie to her. I feel my cheeks turning violet. I can barely get the words out. “In my bed.”
“And where do you sleep?” Jim presses. My whole body is rocked with chills and I have to look down. I don’t understand why they care so much.
When I don’t answer right away, my mom calls, “Jack?”
I can’t lie to my mom, but I can maybe fudge the truth a little, for Cherie. “On the couch.” There is a long pause of relieved silence, as if Jim and Mom were expecting the real answer.
“What is this, a trial? Why are you interrogating him?” Cherie says defensively, painting an invisible guilty sign over both of our heads. I look up at her bitterly, wishing she’d just let me do the talking.
My mom turns to stone and reminds her of the rules. “It’s Jack’s turn to speak, Cherie. Jack?” my mom says again, her hands curling together, her voice urgent. “Has anything…occurred between you two?” I can hear my mom forcing the question out, as though the thought is so painful that the words won’t come easily.
The implication sets my nerves on high alert. I shake my head and so does Cherie. I don’t know why, but lying about my relationship with Cherie is even more painful than lying to my mom.
“So you both just sleep in the same room, right?” Jim clarifies.
As I look up at him, I can see that this thought relieves him. I’m willing to tell him whatever makes him rest easy and my mom happy.
“Yeah.”
Mom presses, “Why do you let her stay with you, Jack? Did you ever tell her to go back to her own room?”
�
�Of course I did,” I say indignantly. “She told me it hurts too much to be in here, so I didn’t want to force her.”
Then Mom asks the question I can’t answer. “Why didn’t you tell one of us this was happening?”
I shrug and try to think of any reason but the real reason. I knew this day would come, and I knew I wouldn’t have something intelligent to say. My throat is dry.
“He was respecting my privacy,” Cherie hisses.
My mom shoots her a threatening glare. “Jack?”
I clear my throat to buy time and think. “I dunno. Didn’t think it was a big deal, I guess,” I lie softly. I won’t tell my mom that she has been drunk every night; I hope they can’t see that on the video. I definitely won’t admit out loud, here or anywhere, that I hid it because I liked sleeping with her.
“And what happened last night?” my mom insists. “What went on at this club?”
“The fight is true,” I admit. “But I only hit him because he was groping her.”
My mom nods pensively. She turns to Cherie. “Is that what happened, Cherie?”
Cherie nods. Her eyes hold onto the floor. “Yes. Jack was just protecting me.”
Jim, still confused, jumps in to ask, “Why do you go to his room at night?”
My mom chastises him with a look and says, “We already asked them that.” She’s turned into Supermom, and she will not let anyone interrupt her mission to uncover the truth. She looks at me and asks, “Are you sure nothing more has happened between you two?”
The question combusts between my ears, making my brain buzz with electricity. My mom knows me too well. She can sense the indiscretion between us.
But I look over at Cherie and remind myself that we should never speak of what happened last night. It can’t ever happen again and, for this very reason, it should never have happened in the first place.
I shake my head and say flatly, “Nothing.”
And Cherie won’t refute my answer. She keeps her reddening, glistening eyes on the floor, kicking one foot back and forth absently.
“Can I go now?” I ask my mom. She watches Cherie, sees a tear roll down her cheek, and nods. I can tell this conversation is not over, though, because as I leave, Mom avoids my gaze. She knows there is more than either of us is letting on, and she will be at my door later looking for the truth, as well as an explanation for lying to her.
Or Cherie will cave and tell them the truth, and then I’ll just be in more trouble. As I step out onto the patio, I look back over my shoulder. Cherie is in tears at the table while my mom and Jim comfort her and give her tissues. It hurts my stomach a little to see her so upset because I know I helped cause this. What I allowed to go on behind their backs, all those secrets I kept since that last night back in New York, the truth has finally exploded. She is exposed to my family, and now they know she is heading down a bad path fast.
But, I remind myself, she’ll get the help she needs now, right? It needs to be this way, for now at least.
I see a missed call from Mica on my cellphone when I’m back in my room. I don’t call him back; I don’t want to have to explain everything to anyone right now, and he’ll be nosy as hell. Instead, I crash onto my bed, which still smells like her. Frustrated, I tear the sheets off of my bed and strip the mattress until it’s bare. But it’s the room that smells like her, not just the bed. My skin smells like her, too. I’m suddenly worried my mom or Jim noticed that.
Now I’m restless and angry. I know I need to get out and go somewhere else, but I can’t think of any place to go, and I refuse to call Mica. I take a shower, hoping that will clear my head and make her scent disappear. But Cherie’s scent is following me. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I can’t get rid of it no matter what I do.
I decide to go for a run, convinced that staying trapped in that room, surrounded by Cherie and awaiting my mother’s second interrogation, is going to drive me insane. Throwing my bedroom door open, I pull on my sneakers and gather my keys. My mom and Jim are talking alone at the table now, and that only means they’ve finished with Cherie. I wonder nervously if Cherie told them the truth about last night and, more importantly, where she is now.
The only thing I can do is let my feet carry me far away from my house and the trouble I’ll face with Cherie or them later.
CHAPTER 33
I return from my run ready to face the worst. I know my mom will want to talk more, and I just have to be prepared for her to know the truth. I take a deep breath as I stand on the doorstep and suddenly hear faint yet angry banter on the other side. Jim and my mom are fighting for the first time, I think. I push the door open gently and step inside of the house just as Jim’s voice rises a little. He and my mom are arguing in the kitchen, and they don’t notice I’ve come in.
“He encouraged it, Eva!”
“Jim, I told you, it’s in his nature to take care of others.”
“Eva, look, I was his age once. If a girl like Cherie asked to sleep in my room, I’d have rolled out the red carpet!” he declares. Hearing the way he says it makes me sound real bad. “I’m saying it for the last time: Jack took advantage of a lonely, confused girl.”
I’m furious that he would think something like that of me, but I’m even more horrified when my mom doesn’t quickly slam the book closed on the thought. I sneak closer to listen in, hiding behind the foyer wall.
She finally says, “And why would a girl like Cherie ask to sleep in his room if she didn’t like him? Why Jack and not the twins if it was all about seeking comfort?”
Jim is grasping for a reason. “I don’t know! She’s always fighting with the girls, and she thought she could trust him since he’s supposed to be family!”
“Jim, don’t be silly. If anything, Cherie took advantage of Jack. She knows he’s a nice kid, and she probably knew he had a little crush on her. She’s the celebrity, and one with a party reputation, obviously – who knows what she does when she goes gallivanting drunk all over Hollywood?” My mom is defending me for the first time in ages.
Then her tone changes. “Look, it doesn’t matter who seduced who. They clearly did more than just sleep together. You saw how hurt she was when he said he didn’t have feelings for her. And I know Jack – he would never have had a problem being honest with me if there wasn’t something big to hide. Say what you will, but he’s never openly lied to me like that before.”
My stomach flips. I’m caught. We’re caught. But how? Did Cherie tell them? Humiliation floods through me. I can never look at my mother or Jim again. I wish I’d never laid a hand on Cherie.
“Fine,” Jim says gruffly. “Now what do we do about it?”
My mom sighs. “I don’t know. It’s a sensitive thing to talk about. Cherie’s been through so much, and this is clearly hurting her. I guess I should talk to Jack and tell him it’s not okay and he can’t have that kind of relationship with her.”
Jim scoffs. “Eva, you were a kid once. You know that as soon as someone tells you that you can’t be with someone that only makes it more appealing. We could have serious trouble on our hands; Cherie’s been sneaking in and out of this house all week; she’s even had boys over and I had no idea. How are we going to stop them both from doing anything when they live together?”
I realize then that he’s looked at the video for sure and has seen her go into my room every night, even on Sunday after her friends left. Well, at least they knew I was being honest about that.
She replies, “Well, we have to trust Jack to do the right thing, I guess, until Cherie is more stable.”
Jim sighs heavily. “That’s not going to work, Eva.”
“Well, what do you suggest?” Jim is quiet at first. I nearly hug the wall in anticipation, waiting for him to answer.
He concludes, “We have to separate them. What about Darla? She and Leroy love Jack; they’d love to have him live with them, and Jack would get to move back to New York.”
I slump down to the ground and hug my knees to my chest. He
wants to get rid of me?
My mom’s voice nearly shrieks, “I am not sending my son away!”
“Eva, calm down, it’s only a suggestion. Just think: he hated the idea of moving out here, and all his friends live in New York. He doesn’t get along with the twins. Now he and Cherie are one bad decision away from getting her pregnant, and then he will really run for the hills. He’s already missing; this is just a plan for if he even comes back.”
“He will come back, Jim. I know my son,” mom replies angrily.
“I’m just saying, apple tree…”
“Don’t,” she bites. I have never heard her speak so viciously. Then her voice wavers with a little uncertainty. “He will come home; he probably just went for a run.”
“Well, even if he does, I’m sure he’s dying to get out. Does it really pay to force him to live here?” he asks.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I want to cover my ears to block out his words, but I’m frozen in place.
Jim makes it sound like I would choose to leave if I could; like I’ve already abandoned all of them just to get away from Cherie. As though escape is the only thing I want, and that I don’t care how it hurts anyone else, especially my mom.
That’s not me; that’s someone else. That’s someone I promised I would never be. Wrath builds like a roaring train shooting through my body. His assumption sparks a fire inside that is so fierce that I don’t have the strength to rein it in.
I will never be my father.
I get to my feet, quietly sneak back outside, and go to the casita. I’m tired of people deciding what will happen to me, tired of falling into step with the plans of others. I’m taking my life back into my control and doing what I know is right, not what they think is right for me. I’m going to call Cherie and tell her exactly how I feel. It’s up to her if I stay or go, not them, not me. I’m going to tell her that, if she wants, I’ll be everything to her. I’ll be her security blanket, her boyfriend, whatever. Jim and Mom are not going to keep us apart just because they think they have to; no one can and no one will.
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