by S. Valentine
The quicker she got out of the car, the better. She wanted another hot shower so she could scrub herself clean; wash away the traces from last night and the scent of Jayce still on her skin. She was sure she reeked of sex, that sweaty, strong odour. She tried to stop replaying the antics in her mind but was failing miserably.
She’d been a different person in those playrooms, definitely a person she didn’t recognise. Now that the alcohol had worn off, she felt a little ashamed, dirty…like the guilty rush of feelings one may get after a horrid one-night stand. Urgh. She rubbed her forehead. She inhaled a deep breath, feeling suffocated, needing air. She grabbed the handle and pushed open the door. She was about to step out when Darion’s hand gripped her arm.
“Are you okay?” He studied her intently.
She nodded. “Yeah.” She manufactured a small smile.
He tilted her face up to meet his. “You enjoyed last night, right?”
“Of course.” Her voice came out chirpy, just as she had intended.
Darion’s face broke into a smile. “Good.”
He seized her face with his hands and caught her mouth in a rough kiss. His tongue roamed deep inside, wrestling with hers. Gabi felt herself pulling back, something she’d never done before.
“I’ll call you later.” He kissed her temple. “Have fun, whatever you decide to do tonight.”
“I will.”
She dug out the keys from her handbag, and paced up the path to her apartment. As she heard the roar of the car engine, she didn’t look back, wave, and watch him drive off as she usually did. When she was in the comfort and privacy of her home, she dropped on the couch, her gaze transfixed on the ceiling.
Her heart twisted in her chest as tears stung her eyes. Why couldn’t she alone be enough for him? Burying her fingers in her hair, she blew out air. She was tired, worn out. The relationship was taking its toll on her emotionally. Darion had offered to take her to a restaurant, or to a bar in town, however she’d pretended that she had plans with Mallory. She needed space from him. She needed time to reassess the whole relationship.
When she looked in the mirror, she didn’t even recognise who she was. Gabi had turned her back on all normality since the day she had met Darion. Having witnessed and experienced the things that she had, she realised there was no going back. She was tainted forever. How could she stay with Darion when her own identity was being stripped?
She rolled onto her side and lay there for a moment in a complete daze. She didn’t know what to do anymore. Dragging herself to her feet, she caught sight of the red roses in a nearby vase. Now, instead of filling her with warmth, they were a constant reminder of Darion, and the dirty night they’d just shared.
She grabbed hold of the vase and threw the flowers against the wall with as much force as she could muster. The glass smashed, water sprayed everywhere, and the roses sank to the floor in a heap. Perhaps Darion and Eva should get back together. They were suited, that was for sure. They both enjoyed the same sexual swinging kicks, something she would never understand. Ever.
Trudging to her bedroom, she realised she’d never felt so rejected in her entire life. When Darion had been kissing Leah, becoming oblivious to Gabi even being there, it had not only sickened her, but saddened her deeply. The very person that she loved with all of her heart hadn’t even noticed her discomfort, a result of the position that he’d put her in.
Wrapping her arms around herself protectively, Gabi sat on the edge of the bed. She needed to talk to someone. She didn’t want to spend the day going over everything in her head, worrying about Darion.
Retrieving her mobile from her pocket, she decided that she would in fact call Mallory to see if she fancied meeting up.
***
Darion
Darion collapsed on the bed with a heartfelt sigh. Lately, Gabi had completely fried his brain. She’d seemed to have enjoyed it in the playrooms the few times they had visited, but judging by her actions now, he wasn’t so sure. He’d noticed that she seemed standoffish when he’d dropped her home. It was also unlike her to turn down ‘date night’ at a restaurant, the cinemas, whatever. Usually she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. He tore off his t-shirt, feeling feverishly hot.
He wished he had someone to talk to, seek advice. Grabbing his mobile, he scanned through his contact list. He settled on Gina’s number. Pressing the call button, he rolled onto his side, the phone pressed against his ear. Wise with words, Gina would say all the right things, the things he needed to hear. He waited with bated breath as the ringing tone filled his ear. Please pick up, G. He tossed the mobile to the bed when he reached her voicemail. Fuck! He flopped onto his back. He hoped she was okay.
Ten minutes of lying there in complete silence, focused on the ceiling, he then tried to call Gina again. He felt a stabbing pain in his chest when it failed to connect. He wished he knew where her mom lived in London. Gina was a private person though. She rarely ever spoke about her personal life at the club.
Darion felt his palms growing clammy with sweat. What would he do without Gina? Regardless of them drifting apart a little, she’d been the one woman he’d turned to—about anything and everything.
He sat up abruptly and rubbed his hands up and down his face. He was being stupid. He didn’t need Gina. He didn’t need anyone. He was worrying over nothing. Gabi must have had fun at The Black Door on every occasion. She had orgasmed every single time. If she hadn’t been comfortable then she would have told him. Wouldn’t she? He ensured that he’d drummed it into her head that communication was imperative, that if she ever felt uneasy, then all she had to do was inform him. She hadn’t ever said no to visiting the rooms, nor had she expressed a dislike for swinging. A lack of understanding perhaps, but that was all. He sensed that Gabi was taking it slow, getting used to the lifestyle.
He clambered to his feet and loosened his jeans, allowing them to tumble down his legs. Kicking them off, he entered the bathroom. A hot bath should soothe his aching muscles. But first, he needed to brush his teeth again. He could still taste Leah’s lip-gloss. He grabbed his toothbrush, loaded it with toothpaste, and stuffed it in his mouth. He lifted his head to the mirror. His light green eyes stared back at him. They said the eyes were the windows to the soul. Good job nobody could see his soul, for it was damaged, filled with pain he told no one about. Well, except for Gina in one of their many drunken heart to hearts. Oh and Eva. Not that she cared anyway…talk about knocking a man when he was down.
Averting his stare, he brushed his teeth and tongue, and swilled his mouth out. He then filled the tub with water, which didn’t take long to fill. Darion pushed down his boxer shorts and stepped into the warmth of the water. He gasped in delight. It was heavenly. When he submerged his body in its depths, he dropped his head back and closed his lids.
“I can’t believe your mom and dad didn’t even say congratulations to you on your wedding day,” Eva said, as she stood before the mirror, removing her earrings.
Darion remained on the king-size bed, taking in his surroundings. Although the honeymoon suite was beautiful with the flower arrangements, rose petals on the bed, candles throughout, and a bottle of champagne cooling in a bucket, it was empty, just like his heart. There was nothing personal in the room, no familiar items, nothing to make it feel homely. It was bare. Just a room that had seen thousands of newly married couples like him and Eva come and go. There was nothing special about it.
He hated the negative emotions that took over his mind, but he’d been unable to shake off his mood when his parents had left shortly after he’d said his vows. How could they not stay and celebrate the one day that meant everything to him? Did they not want him to be happy?
“Who needs them, anyway?” Eva shrugged. She slowly turned around to face him. “Your dad’s an alcoholic pervert, and your mom’s an old hag in dreamland.” She laughed.
“Don’t you dare speak about them that way.”
“Why are you defending them? Loo
k how they treat you.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Good.” She unzipped her white, flowing wedding dress and allowed it to fall from her shoulders. “I’ve got something that may take your mind off everything.”
Stepping out of the dress, Eva, in her skimpy, black underwear, crawled up the bed at a leisurely pace. “Tonight is your special night, my sexy, sweet husband.” She straddled him. “You can do anything you want with me…anything.”
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Gabi
Gabi groaned inwardly, trying to push the niggling thoughts out of her head. The night at The Black Door seemed embedded in her brain. Like some dirty, sleazy secret, it haunted her. Darion touching Leah, Audrina, other women before made her lower lids burn, as she was on the verge of tears. I can’t fucking do this! her mind screamed. What was she meant to do when he wanted her to go all the way? Her body didn’t betray her this time. It agreed with her head. No amount of pleasure she was spoilt with could persuade her to continue the sexual activities in the playrooms.
She kicked the cushion off the sofa in frustration, wondering what to do with herself. Mallory’s mobile had been switched off. She needed to get out of the apartment, knowing that she’d drive herself insane if left to her thoughts.
Glancing at the clock, she could see it was 6:30 p.m. Snatching her mobile from the table; she dialled Mallory’s number again. She sighed in relief as it rang.
“Hey, Gab.”
“Hi, Mal.”
“What’s up?”
“Please tell me you’re not busy tonight.”
“Actually, I’m not. Steve’s having a night out with the boys’.”
“Do you fancy going to Sasha’s?”
Mallory was quiet for a moment. “Ah, go on.” She laughed. “Who am I to refuse tequilas and a dance floor?”
Gabi found herself smiling. “Great. I’ll get a taxi and meet you there. Say about nine?”
“Okay. What are you wearing? You going for casual or dressy?”
“Definitely dressy.” Gabi needed to feel as good as possible to repair her shattered self-esteem.
“See you later, sweetie.”
“Bye.”
Gabi decided she wouldn’t bore her friend with the details of needing a last-minute night out, and that she wanted to drink to block out the previous night’s events. She also didn’t want Mallory to urge her to leave Darion. She had fallen for him hook, line, and sinker, so at that moment it wasn’t even an option. Her stomach lurched. Her heart ached just thinking about it.
She knew though that she couldn’t allow him to go all the way and sleep with another woman in the playrooms. She needed to be honest with him and tell him she wasn’t cut out for swinging. Unlike him, she didn’t need further sexual highs. She didn’t need variety in her sex life in the form of multiple partners regularly. She was happy with Darion and him alone.
She spent the next couple of hours having a long relaxing soak in the tub, and then taking her time drying her hair and getting ready. It was 8:30 p.m. when she was almost done. When she’d applied her make-up consisting of charcoal coloured eye-shadow, and pink lip-gloss, she stepped into her dress. It was a short, gold dress which clung to her body, and dipped at her buttocks, exposing her bare back. Slipping into her heels, she grabbed her clutch bag and headed to the front door. She was just in time to hear the taxi pull up outside.
It was just after 9:15 when she arrived at Sasha’s Bar. She found Mallory at a table not far from the bar. The table was laden with several drinks. Gabi wasted no time in downing a few shots. Mallory observed her suspiciously, and asked if everything was okay.
“Yeah.” She grinned. “I just fancied a night out.”
Mallory nodded with a tight smile, and Gabi knew she believed there was more to it. “I take it things are still rough at the club?”
Gabi’s head jerked upwards, wondering if Mallory sensed the real reason for her aim to get as drunk as possible. Was it that obvious that she had been in the playrooms? “What do you mean?”
“Eva issues?”
Oh. Her shoulders sagged as she relaxed. “Yeah. Eva issues.” That too.
“What will be, will be,” Mallory told her. “Only time will tell, Gabi, which route you need to take when it comes to Darion. Just enjoy it for now.”
Gabi glugged back half of her Cosmopolitan, some of which spilled down her chin. Giggling, she put the glass down and wiped her face.
“How is everything with you, Mal?”
“Everything’s great, honey. I live a pretty boring life.” She laughed.
“At least you’re happy,” she mumbled.
“Aren’t you?”
“Sometimes,” she confessed. “Darion’s a lot to take on, Mal.”
“A complex man is an interesting man.” She beamed. “At least he’ll always keep you on your toes.”
Ten minutes later, Mallory dragged her to her feet. Together they hit the dance floor. Waving her arms in the air and twirling around, Gabi was stumbling more than she was actually dancing. The alcohol had definitely taken effect.
She stopped laughing when she sensed someone was watching her. She scanned the bar area, knowing she wasn’t imagining it. No one appeared to be paying attention to her. It did nothing to calm her hammering heart. Taking a few steps forward, she craned her neck, trying to see the bar area. She froze instantly. Her pulse rang loud in her ears. It was Lawrence. She wondered if he’d been following her all along. She shook her head as if to dismiss it. Sasha’s had been his favourite bar too. It was obviously just a coincidence him being there.
“Mal,” she screeched, nudging her. “Lawrence, he’s…over there.” She pointed in his direction.
“Oh great,” Mallory mumbled. “That’s all we bloody need.” She shook her head in annoyance. “Come on, Gab. Let’s go to a different bar.”
“No way.” She shrugged off Mallory’s tight grip on her arm. “I like it in here.”
“Well, let’s go sit down for a bit before he notices us. The last thing we want is him ruining our night with his fucking soul-destroying abilities.”
Gabi couldn’t refrain from bursting into hysterics. Oh how she adored Mallory. She hooked her arm in hers and led her to the seating area. Gabi was about to reach for the last of her cocktail, of which there was only a quarter left, until Mallory snatched it from her.
“Gab, you’ve downed three drinks already. Take it easy. How about a bottle of water…mix it up a little?” She pushed the glass out of the way. “Besides, that drink has been left unattended for half an hour. Are you looking to get spiked?”
Gabi shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing right now,” she slurred, meaning it as a joke.
“Gabi, what’s wrong? Tell me.”
“Nothing.” She wrapped Mallory in her arms as she embraced her tightly. “We’re having fun, aren’t we, Mal?”
“Sure. It makes a change, me being the sober one,” she mumbled.
Gabi scanned the room again. Leant against the bar, Lawrence was laughing and talking with a pretty redhead. He looked happy, carefree. She felt her heart twist. A pang of jealousy shot through her, and she hated herself for feeling that way. She put it down to being tipsy from the alcohol, and the music bringing out all sorts of emotions in her. The song that was playing was one Lawrence used to listen to repeatedly in his car, having liked it. She turned her head away, trying to stop herself from staring.
“Oh no.” Mallory groaned. “Soul-destroying Lawrence is on his way over here.”
“I forgot to tell you I bumped into him a while back,” Gabi said, leaning into Mallory, so that she could hear her above the music.
“What happened?”
“He’s single again.”
Mallory pursed her lips. “It doesn’t surprise me.”
“Gabi? Mallory?” Lawrence was now before them, a big grin plastered on his face. “What a pleasant surprise.”
“Or a s
hitty one,” Mallory said under her breath, causing Gabi to bite down a giggle.
“How’s it going?” His gaze flitted from Gabi to Mallory.
“Great, thanks.”
“Never better.” Mallory’s face broke into a smile; however Gabi noticed the happiness didn’t reach her icy eyes. “We were just heading for another bar, weren’t we, Gabi?”
“Um…” Gabi tore her attention away from Lawrence. “I think we’re okay here.”
Mallory’s face fell and she rolled her eyes. “In that case, I’m going to get another round.” She stood up. “I have a feeling a strong drink will do me good.”
When Gabi and Lawrence were left alone, an awkward silence filled the air.
“So….we meet again,” Lawrence finally spoke, looking pleased with himself.
“When did you start coming back to Sasha’s?” She hiccupped involuntarily.
“A couple of weeks ago. I avoided it for a long time. It brought back too many memories.”
“And now you’re okay with it?”
He nodded. “Mind if I sit down?”
She waved her hand, indicating that he could go ahead. He sat on the stool opposite her, placing his bottled water on the table. He was dressed in a white polo neck t-shirt and black trousers. He looked smart, as always. His blond hair was brushed to the side, and his complexion looked fresher, rosier, than the last time she had seen him. He looked younger than his thirty-seven years. Grinning from ear to ear, she knew he really was at a happy place in his life. She wished the same could be said for her.
“So, how have you been?” he asked.
“Fine,” she quickly responded.
“How’s work?”
“It’s good.” Gabi felt herself perk up. She enjoyed her job. “How’s work for you?”
“It’s going well.” He took a swig of his drink. “Mallory looks great. How is she? And Suzie? I haven’t seen her in a while now.”