by Lori Darnell
“You do now. I do not want to have this conversation again.” He looked up at me, acknowledging the gift of letting him live through his continued insults against Jill and the rest of my family. This was the last time I was going to grant him this gift. “I must speak to James, and to Dean. I will return when I am done. Don’t follow me.” I stated flatly, trying to be commanding.
I walked back through the corridor to James’ room. The door was open, and James looked up at me as I entered the room. He was wide awake, and Dean was snoring. I smiled. He motioned for me to come in, and I shut the door behind me. The room was dark, but I could still see. I knelt on the floor next to him. I may now be a god, but I still needed my father’s comfort. He ran his hand through my hair, smoothing it away from my eyes.
“I heard what the guardian said.” He reached his hand down to pull my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “She loves you, you didn’t do anything wrong.” I collapsed against the edge of the cot, I felt like I was nine years old again. With Jill unlocking my emotions, every emotion was more forceful, more painful. I was so scared of what the future held. How could everything keep changing so fast? I couldn’t breathe.
“How can I leave our daughter behind?” I croaked. And how was I going to keep her safe? She didn’t have anyone. I looked up at James. He was still so much a father to me. It hit me quite suddenly. “James, will you keep her safe? Will you love her? Will Dean love her?” My voice was low and urgent. I didn’t want the priest to hear.
“Marcus, how could we not?” He moved Dean’s possessive grasp on his waist, sitting up. “We will raise her as our own. She will know you are waiting for her. We will love her and protect her.” I looked back at Dean, snoring lightly. I knew he would as well. They were both such good people. Jill and I could not have done better ourselves.
“Jill will be so happy. Can you go to her, take Dean with you?” I looked at the door leading back to the temple. “I have put this off as long as I can. I want you all to be safe.” James nodded. I got up and walked through his door, to begin my training.
Chapter 26
Several months I sat in the desert sun waiting for the time when I knew I was ready. The training had been such an easy process. Tapping into my power, the guardian put it. I learned I could control fire. The fire was born inside of me. My strength, a power I had already noticed, was something else I was born with. Everything I had been born with was exaggerated, now that I was no longer human.
I held my hand to the sand in front of me. It was hot, grainy. I felt a sharp sting as I felt the fire ignite on my hand. The blue flames licked up my wrists, but it didn’t hurt, it was just uncomfortable. I concentrated on the flames. I could feel them grow hotter. The sand beneath my hand pooled like water. Shimmering, I released my hold on the flames as I brought my hand up.
The pool of sand froze; I picked up the edge of the solid glass I had made, buried deep in the sand. Digging it out, I turned the glass over and saw the shape of my hand reaching up into the sky. I put the glass down as Jill walked toward me.
Her strength and will was the only thing that kept me going. I had no taste for the god's vengeance. I would have been happy to live in the desert with her forever. But we both knew that time was not on her side; so much time had passed already during my training.
“Marcus, you’re doing so well.” She walked over to me where I sat. She had given up her jeans for dresses that Jenna made her. She rubbed her belly absentmindedly. “Look how wonderfully big I am getting!” I tried to smile. I was happy for our daughter, but sad for my wife. She placed her hand on the glass and caught a sharp edge, cutting herself.
“Be careful,” I warned, grabbing her hand. It wasn’t bad - the bleeding had already stopped. I looked down where her blood had touched the sand. I scooped it up in the palm of my hand. Feeling the heat course through me, I melted the sand and trapped her blood inside, forever protected. I felt myself cool as I looked up at Jill, who was smiling down at me. I opened my hand and handed her the now cool glass. The fire had swirled her blood into a thin ribbon through the now smooth glass. It made a round medallion a few inches wide, heavy, but delicate in its shape.
“It’s so beautiful.” She leaned down, kissing me softly. “I love it. You are such an artist.” She took the medallion and ran back to the temple. I knew she was going to go show Jenna. They had become such good friends over the past few months. Jenna’s father however, while no closer to accepting Jill as he was from the first day, didn’t exclude her anymore.
James and Dean had left us to go back to the village. They wanted to prepare a place for the baby, somewhere safe, away from the Church, I knew that it was the reason it was taking them so long. I missed them both so much. The guardian was more hostile every day we waited for their return. He knew that I was ready. I just couldn't force myself to leave them behind, not knowing when I would make it back to them.
Jill and I had talked about this at length the last few nights. She had giggled when she told me I was stalling. The guardian had told me I needed to get the Church’s attention. I knew exactly how to do that - burn down the hotels. Make a scene. Make sure there are witnesses. It seemed easy enough, but once I had their attention, what then? That was the part that I was afraid of. I wasn’t afraid of the Church. I was afraid of what they would do to my family.
I walked back into the temple and saw Jenna and Jill leaned over a bench, concentrating hard. They didn’t know I was standing right over them. “What are you two up to?” Jill brought her head up quickly, smiling secretly and covering their hands.
“Just give me a few more minutes. I will meet you in our room.” She bent her head back to her work. I was curious, but not enough to interrupt. I turned around then, walking back to the temple and leaving them to their covert affairs.
Walking the corridor, I was lost in the thoughts of what the guardian had explained to us the very first day of my training.
"Marcus, you have to realize, the race of gods that you belong to are attached to the desert. They were born of fire. Your elemental connection is what makes your decision to stay with Jill so dangerous. Gods can lay with humans. But their children will be born of their element. Your daughter will be born in fire. Jill will be consumed in the fire of her creation." The guardian had left me after that, to think about what I had done. I have been thinking about it since that very day – and how could I not? I was going to be the cause of all of this. I was supposed to be strong, supposed to end the pain. Here I am causing more.
We didn't have much time left here. The fire of creation, that phrase has been haunting us for weeks. How was I going to let her do this? I walked back to the bedroom we had shared. It was still the same as the first day.
Too large.
Too grand.
It made me feel small. I decided to take a bath, the sun was high and the water would be warm. Lowering myself into the warm water I heard Jill open the door. She was running when she finally found me in the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I couldn’t help it as I rolled my eyes at her.
“I would say I am taking a bath alone for the moment.” She had already started to take off her clothes. “But it seems that is going to change.” My smile stretched wide as she lowered her body down into the deep water. I watched as her stomach lowered slowly, the roundness creating its own waves as she descended. For a moment, I wondered if the child felt the ebbing force molding around her.
“Our daughter, does she move?” I looked up at Jill’s face again and saw a necklace around her neck – a bright, woven, golden sun. The necklace chain was an intricate woven gold, with gold oak leaves clinging around her neck. Just then, the sun caught it and sent sparks of light, casting prismic rainbows of color cascading across the room.
“Sometimes, when I am very happy, I feel a flutter.” She leaned over me, laying her head on my shoulder. “But I always felt that way, any time I was with you.” She looked up as I stared at the pendant. She picked i
t up with her fingers, momentarily breaking its connection to the light source.
“Do you like it?” She looked down. “We made the pendant to look like a sun.” She let go and the pendent fell into place between her very round, very full breasts. I sighed blissfully at the sight, considering how pregnancy had somehow made her body even more enthralling. Everyday, something small changed in her. She was both familiar and new, all at once.
“It is beautiful because you wear it.” I said, smiling at her. Despite the physical distractions, my mind was still full with worry. I brushed a strand of her silver hair behind her ear.
“Jill, I am leaving tomorrow for the Red Door, the one I went to before we came to the temple. That is where I am going to start.”
“Good. It is about time you stop stalling.” She laughed, causing small waves to crash up onto our bodies.
“I want you to stay here with Jenna.” She stopped laughing.
“That isn’t going to happen. I go where you go.” She slid back, pushing herself against the far wall of the bath. She crossed her arms across her chest in determination. We have been having this same argument for months now. She was strong, but I wasn't strong enough to let her risk her life with me.
“Sweetheart, it is just for three days. I will be back before you notice I’m gone. I just want to do this one alone.” I crossed the small space, pulling her back to me. “After this one, I promise you can be with me.” I pulled her chin up to look at me. “I want to know what it is like before we get into more trouble.” I smiled down at her pouting face.
“Fine, I will wait for you. But I want to know, how are you going to get everyone out without me?” She studied my face, waiting.
“I don’t plan on getting ‘everyone’ out. But I do have a plan to get the innocents out.” I grinned. “I am going in dressed like a Reverend. I am going to scare them out. The Church members will try to apprehend me. I figure it won’t be long after this, the Church will notice us.”
Using people's fear of the Church was a devilish idea. As much as I couldn't stand the idea of using fear to push people out the door, it was better than having Jill there the first time. This building had to go, and I wanted a good number of its torturers to go with it, in retribution for all who had suffered there. It had to go down in flames.
“I know you are going to try to save Jacob - if you can.” She looked down. “He isn’t the same person you know. He may not want to be saved.”
“I know. I thought of that, but I can’t just turn my back on him. He sacrificed everything to save me.” I looked up at the ceiling, through the long oblong skylight. “I have to try.”
We held each other for a while as the sun crossed beyond the bath and the water started to cool. We went back to the temple together, hand in hand. The guardian looked worried. “Marcus, are you sure you want to do this alone? I could help.” I shook my head.
“No!" Jill flinched away from me. I tried to calm myself before I continued. She looked at me, glaring. "This one I do alone. They have already seen me once.” I looked down at Jill and then back over to Jenna and her father. “I have to be sure I can do this. I don’t want anyone to be hurt. Besides, I want someone here tomorrow. James and Dean should be back any day. How would they feel coming back to find this place is abandoned?” I heard Jill sigh. She missed them just as much as I did.
“What will you do if they capture you?” Jenna looked at Jill. I knew it was a question that Jill didn’t want to ask me.
“Do you honestly think they could hold me? I can melt the sand to glass, I have yet to find anything that has been too heavy for me to lift, and I have always been a most intimidating size. No they won’t be able to hold me.” I looked at Jenna and then to Jill. “Besides, I have to get back to Jill. Hers is a wrath I shudder to face.” I smiled as I brought her hand to my lips. She smiled in return.
I looked around the temple, feeling uneasy. I didn’t like that James and Dean were still not here. I had hoped they would be back, to keep an eye on Jill.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Jenna will keep me company.” Jill smiled at her friend. Although I was happy for their friendship, the girl’s father didn’t make me feel at ease. Maybe I should have let him come. But I didn’t want to leave the girls here alone. It was too far for anyone to help in case of an emergency.
I hated leaving Jill here, pregnant and alone. That was the hardest part. We had been together so long now, we never went more than an hour without being near each other. She was my anchor. If I didn't see her for a while I would start to feel lost. I knew if I ever had to sleep away from her, from her memories, grounding me and helping me to remember, I would be lost. If we were gone from each other for too long, I may stay lost. I knew that was part of her fear, but this first time had to be alone.
"Jill, I will be home as soon as I can. Trust me, I don't intend to spend one night without your arms around me. I don't have a home without you." I cradled her face close to mine. "No matter what, I will be home in time."
"Please let me come with you, just halfway. It takes almost two days to get there, don't you remember? I have to be there when you wake up. I won't let her have you." She pleaded with me. She was so scared.
I had been so focused on the destination, I hadn't thought of the travel. It was a day and a half of hard riding to get here. She was right. She also knew I was uneasy about not waking up next to her. "Ok, you can all come as close as the village. But, I go to the Red Door alone." I leaned closer, inches from her mouth. "Agreed?"
She smiled, "Agreed."
"Jill, I never want to leave you alone. But this is too dangerous. Just this once. Please, don't argue." She smiled up at me as I stroked her long hair. "You have to keep yourself, and the baby, safe." I knew this was how I would win the argument.
"I love you, and I won't argue... this time." She leaned her head against my shoulder. "When will we go?"
"First thing tomorrow morning."
Chapter 27
The trip back to the village was thankfully uneventful. Jill, as promised, did not ask to come with me again. Jenna was working with Jill on a project. Something for the baby, I wondered? I would ask, but I knew they wouldn't tell me. Jill would only smile secretly and tell me that I would find out soon. I think she was doing it to make sure I came back from the Red Door sooner.
"Marcus, why don't you wait until morning?" Jill asked, batting her lashes demurely. "I want to be sure your rested."
"Jill, nothing in your eyes speaks of rest." Against my better judgment, I followed her to our small cottage that the guardian had found, just outside of town. It was no more than thirty minutes from the Red Door, I could return to them quickly if there was trouble.
"Please, I want to make sure you remember why you have to hurry back to me." She pulled my hand forward.
I followed, helpless, my body alive with wanting her. "Jill, I love you so much." Reaching the small bedroom, we didn't make it that far. Pulling her to the ground with me, we made love. I was sure that everyone could hear us, but I didn't care. "Jill, say my name."
"Marcus." She moaned softly. It was the only thing I ever asked of her, though she had given me so much more. She had given me everything I loved in this world. It was early morning when I woke, panicked as usual, not knowing if I could hold on.
"Jill?" She rolled over, stroking my face.
"It's alright. I am here." She kissed me softly, filling my head with memories. I could hear my breathing calm. "I love you." She smiled as I kissed her back. My mouth slanted over hers, enjoying the taste. I pulled back slightly to see if she was aware of her affect on me as I was.
She was.
"Marcus, you can't leave me wanting like this - it would be cruel." She looked so innocent.
"That is true; you told me I was supposed to be a good, kind, and loving god." I smiled at her transparent thoughts. "It would be wrong." I leaned in closer. A couple of hours wouldn't make much difference, after all.
"No they
wouldn't." She smiled up at me as I nestled between her legs, careful of her swollen stomach.
"You know there is quite a bit to get around here." I said in a teasing tone, running my hand across our baby. I leaned down, listening to the movements of our daughter. "We need to find a name. Do you have one in mind?"
She laughed. "I do, but you might think it sounds silly."
"Nothing could be further from the truth. Please, tell me." My mouth traced around her protruded belly. She shivered.
"I want to call her Eve." I laughed. She glared. "You said you wouldn't laugh." She accused.
"No I said it wouldn't sound silly." She looked confused. "But I do love it. It is perfect. Our perfect Eve." I smiled as I rolled over, pulling Jill with me. She straddled my body, taking all of me into her. She was successful in reminding me of the many reasons I had to come back to her.
We finally started the day a little before noon. We endured the reproaching glares from the guardian and the giggles from Jenna. Against my original plan, I wore my normal street clothes as I approached the door. The guardian felt it would be in bad taste. I thought it would have been funny. But he was right - I didn’t want to be associated with them, as I would have been had I worn the robes of a priest. I kept looking back over my shoulder, subconsciously waiting for Jill to appear. Maybe part of me secretly wanted her to be here. But it was wrong. It was too dangerous.
Dangerous. The thought made me sick. She was in more danger from Eve than from anything she would experience at the Red Door. The fire of creation. I couldn't escape it. The guardian and I had talked at length. Jill was progressing quickly; she looked as if she were at least eight months pregnant. Each passing day she was getting stronger, but the guardian told me it was the baby. The baby was linked to her strength. Once they were separated there would be nothing left of Jill. Gods of my birth are born of fire. They consume. That was what would happen to Jill. She would be consumed in the fires of creation. The baby would be born of her ashes.