by Jim Harrison
On the drive home I recalled James Joyce’s motto, “Silence, exile, cunning,” and resolved to adopt it as my own. I also remembered a musical appreciation lecture as a freshman in college where the professor had said the great Stravinsky had been roundly booed at the first performance of “Firebird” in Paris.
Even Lothar was furious at me when I let her out of the Indian’s shack though I quickly re-entered her good graces by giving her a portion of leftover pot roast and gravy. Would that all females were this easy but then Lothar had a fat gnarled face like a brown frog and wasn’t much of a challenge. I glanced over at the card table and wondered what problems my re-named states might cause but then it was unlikely that the changes would become widely known. It was probably better to be a flower born to blush unseen in the desert air as some English poet had said.
I took Lothar for a mid-morning walk in the gathering heat packing along a small flask of Schnapps to calm my nerves which were improbably frayed. It had been my dad’s flask which he kept full for what he called “emergencies.” About a quarter mile out I heard a car on the gravel road and instinctively ducked down behind a clump of thornapple bushes. I still had my bird watching binoculars and glassed Vivian as she went through the house and out on the back porch where she hollered “Clint! Clint! Clint! I have papers for you to sign!” I knelt there behind the bushes thinking that she would always have papers for me to sign.
She finally drove away and I proceeded on to the spring with Lothar beating me there and muddying up the water in a frantic search for a frog to eat. I took off my clothes and sat down in the cool water, sipping at my Schnapps and looking up at the way the sun dappled down through the beech and sugar maple leaves. This won’t be a bad life I thought happily. What there is left of it is undetermined but I’ll do fine.
The Renamed States
Alabama – Chickasaw
Alaska – Kolyukon
Arizona – Apache
Arkansas – Caddo
California – Chumesh
Colorado – Ute
Connecticut – Mohegan
Delaware – Nanticoke
Florida – Seminole
Georgia – Creek
Hawaii – Kanaka Maoli
Idaho – Nez Perce
Illinois – Kickapoo
Indiana – Plankeshaw
Iowa – Foxsauk
Kansas – Wichita
Kentucky – Wea
Louisiana – Acolapissa
Maine – Abnaki
Maryland – Powhalen
Massachusetts – Pequot
Michigan – Potawatomi
Minnesota – Ojibway
Mississippi – Choctaw
Missouri – Osage
Montana – Absoroka
Nebraska – Poncapawnee
Nevada – Paiute
New Hampshire – Wappinger
New Jersey – Nakyssan
New Mexico – Navajo
New York – Iroquois
North Carolina – Shawnee
North Dakota – Hidatsa
Ohio – Wyandot
Oklahoma – Cherokee
Oregon – Umatilla
Pennsylvania – Onondaga
Rhode Island – Wampanoag
South Dakota – Lakota
Tennessee – Yuchi
Texas – Commanche
Utah – Ute
Vermont – Pequot
Virginia – Santee
Washington – Tilamook
West Virginia – Catawba
Wisconsin – Menominee
Wyoming – Cheyenne