by Imani King
I clear my throat. “Do you think she’s old enough?” I do my best to keep my voice level. There’s a ton of awkwardness between us and I don’t want to add to it.
“Just a little bit should be fine,” he says. Then, he smiles down at Tami. “I won’t tell grandma if you won’t.”
In the elephant museum, we find a mother and calf pressed against each other. The mother cries out, and Tamara starts to wail. Jackson lifts her from the stroller and calms her down. I push the stroller as we hurry away from the elephants. How patient and loving Jackson is with my baby.
He’s a good father. I can’t believe I’d thought of taking her away from him. He actually could give her a better life, and he loved her. That much was obvious to everybody. I just wish there was a way for me to stay with them forever…
Tamara calms down as we breeze through the Alaska and African exhibits. By time we reach the pygmy goats, she’s asleep.
Jackson glances at his watch after lowering her back into the stroller. “Wow. I’ve never made it through this much of the zoo so quickly.”
“There are still a few displays to see.”
He nods. “It looks like she’s going to cooperate by sleeping through them all.”
“We should probably forget the Children’s Museum today.”
He agrees and we walk to the entrance of the rainforest. “We’ll have to take her out, and she’ll probably cry when she gets inside since it’s so muggy. Why don’t you go through without us?”
Warmth billows from the entrance. Fake lightning and the sounds of rain can be heard from behind the closed doors. “No, it’s fine. Next time we’ll all go together.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, I wonder if there will be a next time. It’s too easy to picture us as a family, spending more days like this one together.
He tilts his head to the side as if considering something. Had I overstepped my bounds? Then, he smiles. “Okay. It’s a deal.”
I beam at him. It’s not the four letter word that starts with a “d” that I’d been hoping for, but it was enough to distract me from what’s directly in front of me. I step forward, and my foot slides out from under me. Jackson’s eyes go wide as I go down. He rushes forward, but the stroller is between us and he can’t reach me fast enough. I fall hard on my knee and cry out.
Jackson is immediately at my side. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just not my day,” I say, wincing. Damn this hurts. “Can you help me up?”
Jackson isn’t done fretting. “Are you sure it isn’t broken?”
I bite my lip. “Pretty sure.” I grab his massive, muscular shoulder and gasp with surprise as he effortlessly picks me up and carries me to a bench.
He looks down at me, bemused. “You look surprised.”
“You carried me like I weighed nothing,” I admit.
He grins. “You are nothing compared to what I bench every other morning.”
Excitement flutters in my stomach, but it’s short-lived because Jackson’s more interested in helping me out with my injury than bragging about his workout routine. He frowns, examining my leg. Though some blood has seeped through the jeans, I can still move my leg without much difficulty.
“It probably isn’t broken, but maybe we should take you to the hospital,” he says.
I shake my head. “No, I’ll be fine.”
He stands and puts his hands on his hips. “I’d really feel better if we got that checked out by a professional.”
“No, Jackson,” I repeat. “I don’t like hospitals.”
It takes me a moment to realize that I’ve admitted something else that I probably shouldn’t. Talking around this man is just too easy. There is something inherently trustworthy about Jackson.
Jackson sighs. “If you’re sure. Can you walk?”
“I think so.” I stand, then wince. “I might need help.”
“Wait here.” Jackson rolls the stroller next to me and hurries in the direction of the entrance. He returns a few minutes later with a teenage girl in an Oregon Zoo coat. “She’s going to push the stroller while I carry you.”
Shawna’s eyes widen. “There is no need, Jackson. I can put my arm around your shoulder.”
“No. We don’t want to do more damage. You have two choices.”
“Oh, really?” I scowl at him. “What might they be, master?”
“I can carry you, or we can call an ambulance.”
I glare at him. That really isn’t much of a choice. Finally, I lift my arms. “Carry away.”
Jackson laughs. “You don’t have to pout, Shawna. Though you sure look cute when you do.”
“I do not.”
Jackson laughs and picks me up. My stomach flips as his strong, massive arms wrap around me. As we walk to the direction of the exit, I truly feel so safe like nothing and no one could ever hurt me again.
“Relax, Shawna.”
He wants me to relax? How am I going to do that? This all felt too good and a part of my mind knows it shouldn’t. Nothing could ever happen between us . Add yet, I’m a hair’s breadth from melting against him and sobbing like a baby. Relaxing is out of the question.
Luckily, it’s only a few minutes until we reach the Prius. Jackson thanks the Zoo helper after he gets me in the car.
“No problem.” The young woman gives us a smile, revealing gleaming braces. “Your baby’s cute. She looks a lot like you, ma’am.”
My eyes go wide and my throat closes with panic. “T-thanks,” I murmur.
“Yeah, she does, doesn’t she?” Jackson says smoothly. Then, he winks at me.
This only makes my panic intensify. Does he know? How did he find out?
Jackson gives the girl a tip and he loads Tamara. She whimpers during the transfer, but settles back down within seconds. I watch the side mirror as he collapses the stroller and puts it in the trunk. Then, he walks around the car and gets in driver’s seat.
“It must be weird to be compared to Tamara,” he tells me.
“W-what?” I try to act natural.
“It’s just because the two of you have the same skin tone. Actually, people have been complimenting me on my daughter all day. I haven't been correcting them. It’s just...awkward to explain it all.”
Oh man, that was a massive understatement. At least he didn’t think I was actually Tamara’s mother, though.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” he asks.
“Yes, I’ll be fine. Knee is almost good as new,” I say with an unconvincing smile.
“Okay, let’s go home.”
“Home is good,” I say before I can stop myself. The ranch isn’t actually my home, but it’s starting to feel like home. In fact, the only other place that had ever felt that much like home to me was Destiny’s apartment.
17
Jackson
Shawna sleeps most of the way home. On the drive, I keep looking over at her periodically to make sure she isn’t having another nightmare. Thankfully, she doesn’t have another one and seems peaceful the whole time.
As we pull into the garage, she opens her drowsy eyes and stretches.
I laugh. “You and Tamara aren’t very good traveling companions.”
“Hm?” she mutters, sounding like she’s still half asleep.
“You’re both sleepyheads in the car.” I pull the keys from the switch and drop them into my jacket pocket.
“Oh,” she says. “At least I wasn’t asking ‘are we there yet’ every thirty seconds. When Tamara’s old enough to start talking, complain to me again about her sleeping during a drive.”
I smile. Even though she’s tired, she’s still got some sass. And her just-woken-up voice is sexy. Not that I’m noticing.
“I’m going to get you inside and come back for Tamara.” I tell her, smiling at her concerned look. “The car and garage are warm. I’ll lock the doors. She’ll be fine for a few minutes.”
I get out and walk over to Shawna’s door without waiting f
or a response. When I open it, she’s got fire in her eyes. She’s ready to speak her mind. I can’t help but smile at her strength, which of course makes her frown deepen.
“I’m sure I can walk by now,” she says.
Oh, doesn’t she know there's no way she’s gonna win this one? “Let’s not go through this again.”
She doesn't budge. “I think we should go through it again.”
Man, this woman has a will made of iron. As much as I admire her independence, she needs help. That leg looks bad, and I feel like I’ve been too lenient already for not taking her to OHSU back in Portland. Unfortunately, there’s only one way to deal with her. Before she can protest, I lean over and slide my arm under her thick thighs. With my head this low, my cheek is mere inches from her face. If I turned it, we’d be kissing.
Would she stop me?
Or would she draw me closer?
In my mind I can see her plump lips parting. I want to know what they’d feel pressed against mine. I’m so close to knowing--I’m close enough already to feel her breath on my skin.
I pull her out of the seat and into my arms. She melts against me and her protests die. It’s a perfect fit. Does she notice it, too? I try not to think about how good she feels and try not to look down into her large, beautiful, deep brown eyes.
Of course, I fail.
She blinks up at me. Her lips part just as they did in my mind a few moments ago.
I grip her a little tighter, hold her a little closer.
“What are you doing?” A high, feminine voice calls out.
Shawna and I look up to see Anastasia standing in the doorway between the garage and the house.
Shawna squirms in my arms, but I hold onto her. It’s not like this is my best moment either. No, we haven’t done anything, but I’ve been thinking about it. Anastasia and I are gonna have to talk. I’ve always been upfront with my women and have never been a player. All women deserve to be treated with respect, and my behavior is disrespectful towards both Shawna and Anastasia.
“Hey, I didn't know you were coming down,” I tell her.
Anastasia isn’t listening. She’s glaring at Shawna. “Why are you carrying the nanny?”
“She fell at the zoo. I don’t think her leg is good enough to walk on just yet.”
“My leg is fine,” Shawna says. I look down and her eyes are wide with hurt. I can’t believe I put her in a situation like this.
“No it’s not,” I tell her softly.
“I can walk just fine. Put me down!”
Anastasia’s heels clack as she descends the concrete steps. “She’s a big girl. Why don’t you listen to her?”
“Don’t argue with me.” I’m not sure which of them I’m addressing. I shift Shawna into a more comfortable position. She’s finally relaxing again. Then, I nod to the backseat. “Anastasia, can you grab Tami?”
Anastasia heaves a sigh. “I suppose.”
I start towards the house.
“Is Tamara okay with her?” Shawna asks softly.
I realize I’m concerned too. “I’m sure Anastasia can get her a few steps from the car seat and into the house,” I tell her even though I’m suddenly not convinced. I don’t like the idea of leaving the baby with Anastasia for even a few minutes.
I walk up the stairs and pushed open the door.
“Oh!” Mother exclaims, startled. I rush past her and set Shawna beside at a chair by the kitchen table. Standing with the support of the table, I can see that her knee is hurting her.
“Be right back. I’m going to check on Anastasia and Tamara.”
“Okay,” she says. The relief in her voice is evident.
I rush back to the garage to find Anastasia still struggling to remove the car seat.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Taking out the car seat.” She shakes her left hand. “I broke two nails, and I just had them done.”
I just barely resist the urge to roll my eyes. “You can unfasten the belt on the seat and lift her out.”
“I didn’t know that. I’m not super nanny.” Her upper lip curls. “Besides, I don’t want the child to ruin another outfit.”
“Yeah, you need to make sure priorities are in order,” I mutter as I push her aside and lift Tamara from her seat.
It’s obvious Tamara will never be a priority for Anastasia. In fact, I’m not sure any child would be. And Tamara has taught me that children are going to be a big part of my life in the future.
I glance at her. She’s making a face and blowing on her nails.
Who is this woman? Did I ever really know her? Has she changed, or was I really so blinded by her beauty that I couldn’t see it before?
“Come on, let’s go inside,” I tell her.
“Good. It’s cold and dark out here. Not a good place for me.”
But you thought it was okay for the baby? I shake my head, removing the thought from my mind, and head back to the kitchen. Mother sits next to Shawna at the kitchen table, fussing over her knee while Shawna tries to tell her it is alright. I pass Tamara to her grandma and kneel before Shawna.
“I think I’m going to have to agree with mother on this one,” I tell her. “You need to take it easy for a while.”
Shawna rolls her eyes. “It’s fine now. I just need to wash it off.”
“No way. I’ll carry you upstairs.”
“You will not!” Anastasia shrieks.
I’m about to give Anastasia a piece of my mind when Shawna places a hand on my shoulder. “Please, it’s just a scrape. It looks worse than it is, I promise. I will walk myself upstairs and take it easy for the rest of the evening.”
I don’t like this, but if Shawna is going to be obstinate then it will only lead to another fight. Anastasia’s red and ready to go.
“Alright, but I don’t like this,” I tell her.
“I know. Thank you for your concern.” After helping her stand (no way she’s going to get me to not do that!) she limps to the door. I watch her use the banister to help herself up the stairs.
I turn to glare at Anastasia.
She’s already glaring back at me.
“What?” I ask, careful to keep my voice down so I don’t disturb Tamara.
“I don’t like you touching her like that.”
“She’s hurt. Was I supposed to leave her in Portland?”
“I guess not.” Anastasia walks out of the room. Does she expect me to follow? Sighing, I do to find that Anastasia has already draped herself stylishly across the couch. All of her best assets are on display like she’s ready for a photo shoot.
“What does that girl even do here, anyway?” she asks, pouting.
“Uh, she’s the nanny.
“Is that why she got a vacation with you in Portland?”
Good Lord. “We took Tamara to the zoo. It wasn’t a vacation.”Or at least not one you’d want to go on. It’s too horrifying to even imagine how the day would have gone if Anastasia had been my companion instead of Shawna.
“You could have asked me to go with you and the child. I do live in Portland.”
Here we go. “You’re sometimes there. And I actually did call your mother’s place this morning, but she said you had gone off somewhere.”
“Oh.” Anastasia smiles. “I was on my way to see you.”
“Why?”
Mother passes through the room on her way to the stairs. “I’m going to take Tamara upstairs for a nap,” she tells me. “You two...do whatever it is you’re doing.”
That little snide comment doesn’t get past me. Still, she’s helping out...and in her defence I think that everyone is a little tired of Anastasia’s antics at the moment.
“Thanks mother,” I tell her.
Anastasia rolls her eyes. “That woman is all too comfortable,” she mutters once mother has left the room.
“Well, she’s comfortable because this is her house.”
“No, it’s your house,” Anastasia tells me. “You bought it.”
&n
bsp; I sigh. I’m not having this argument with her now. “Why are you here?”
“Do I need a reason to visit you?”
I shrug. “You never voluntarily visit the ranch.”
Anastasia sighs. “You know me so well, darling. I have an ulterior motive.”
“Imagine that.”
“Christian Corbett and his wife are throwing an anniversary party tomorrow night.” She slides off the sofa and sashays over to me. “You’ll be my escort, of course.”
“Sorry, I can’t.”
“You aren’t too busy for me, are you?” She trails a finger down my chest.
“I think we should talk about that, actually.”
She bats her eyelashes at me. “Talk about what?”
I grab her finger before it can get any lower. “About us.”
She pulls her finger out of my grip. “It’s that nanny, isn’t it?”
“Anastasia, it isn’t just the nanny. It’s everything. I don’t think that we’re right for each other.”
She blinks rapidly. “Aren’t right for each other?” she whispers. “How can that be? We look perfect together.”
My stomach falls. Not, we love each other. Not, we’re good partners. Just, we look perfect together.
“That doesn’t mean we’re perfect together just because we look it,” I tell her.
“You can’t do this to me.”
“Anastasia--”
“No, you don’t understand, you can’t do this! Not right now! I need you to fly me to the Corbett party.”
I frown. “Wait, you need me to fly you?”
“Yes!” Anastasia says as if this was evident from the beginning. “How else am I going to get to LA?”
My eyes bug out. “You want me to fly you to LA?”
“Yes. That’s where the fundraiser thing is going to be. It’s some sort of children’s thing Christian's wife is putting together. Anyways, this is big Jackson. Big for us and for my career.”
I shake my head. “I’m so sorry, but there isn’t going to be an us. We want different things in life. I mean, you can’t even stand being here with me. My home and family are huge parts of my life, and you hate both.”