I realize I want this girl, but I also recognize another feeling: betrayal. Emma deserves better than this. I should just walk in the opposite direction, get as far away from her as possible. I’m with Emma now. We haven’t really agreed on exactly what we are, but we’re something.
Talking to this mystery girl won’t help.
Yet, somehow, that’s exactly what I end up doing because apparently, I can’t control myself. I start walking toward her when I’m hit with another memory. In this one, I’m in a car and the red-dress girl is driving me home.
You’re beautiful when you dance like no one’s watching.
I said that to her. I thought I hadn’t talked to her but, apparently, I had. In a car. As she drove me home. A headache starts to form at the back of my skull as I try to figure out what happened that night. How is it possible that I forgot she took me home? Why couldn’t I even remember her face?
The girl turns around then, and my confusion dissipates, replaced by utter surprise.
“Emma.” Her name leaves my mouth as I close the distance between us.
She smiles at me, relieving the pressure in the back of my head. “You finally decided to join the party. I thought this was your scene.”
“You were at the celebration party the school threw for us?” I ask. I feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
Wait. If she drove me home, why didn’t she tell me?
Her eyes widen. She was there. “I went with Kaitlyn.”
I place my hands on her waist. “You wore this dress?” How is it that she can pull off the nerdy tutor and the girl next door looks and be equally attractive?
She nods. “You look beautiful when you dance like no one’s watching.” I repeat the same words I’d said to her earlier, waiting to see her reaction.
“You remember?” She’s surprised. Well, that makes two of us.
“I can’t believe I ever forgot.” I should’ve realized it was the same girl.
“You were pretty drunk,” she says.
Like that excuses it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
We’re standing in the middle of the dance floor, everyone moving around us. Before she answers, I realize why she didn’t tell me.
“I just didn’t think you’d meant any of it,” she says.
“Why not?” I press.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. You were drunk…”
“They say drunks speak the truth.”
“I guess I don’t really buy that.”
“Well, I’m one hundred percent sober right now. So, I’ll say it again. You look beautiful when you dance like no one’s watching.”
She looks down at what she’s wearing. “That’s because Kaitlyn did all this.” She points at herself.
“No, baby. You look beautiful not because of the clothes you’re wearing, but because of who you are. Because you allow yourself to be free.” Emma’s the kind of girl whose beauty you might miss if you weren’t paying attention. Inside and out, she’s gorgeous.
“Baby, huh?” she says, avoiding my compliment.
“Babe? Honey? Gorgeous girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend?” She lingers on that word and I like the way it rolls off her tongue.
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I think it’s time we make this thing official.”
She looks up at me. “What thing?” she asks.
“Us. I like you. You like me. Nothing’s going to change that.”
“You’re turning into a cheeseball,” she says with a laugh, resting her hand on my chest.
I bring my lips close to hers. “You’re turning me into a cheeseball. I never thought I’d be here.”
“At the party?”
“No. Asking you to be my girlfriend.” Emma Lynn Wilson, the Coach’s daughter. Who would’ve thought she’d be the one to get past my walls? I sure didn’t, but I was a fool who didn’t know any better.
EMMA
“Don’t you feel like it’s too soon to make such a decision?” I ask, not knowing what else to say.
He frowns. “My plan was not to fall for anyone, yet I’m falling for you.” I can hear his sincerity in every word.
“I’m falling for you too.” The moment the words leave my mouth, Zack kisses me. I get so lost in the feel of his lips on mine that I forget we’re in the middle of the dance floor. It’s not until I hear the hollering from the crowd that it registers we have an audience. Still, even their chants and screams aren’t enough for me to pull away from Zack.
35
ZACK
A week later, I find myself taking a seat in the middle of an empty classroom. It’s awkward being the only person here, but I guess not many people fail biology and get a chance to make up for it a couple of weeks later.
I should count myself lucky.
And I do.
Failing was not something I’d wanted to do, but I can’t be too mad. It helped me get to know Emma a lot better. Emma, my girlfriend.
Last night, we met at the library, staying up until three in the morning. She quizzed me with note cards until I knew the information inside and out. And while I didn’t get much sleep, I feel absolutely ready for this exam.
I’m determined.
I will pass.
The only thing that scares me more than failing this test is Coach. He hasn’t spoken to me since he found out Emma and I were more than just friends. I just hope he doesn’t take my opportunity to play away because I’m dating his daughter. I’m still expecting him to tell me to hang up my jersey.
I guess I can’t blame him.
After finding out he wasn’t the man I thought he was, after learning just how much football took precedence over everything else in his life, I started to look at my own views on football. I love the game, but it’s just that—a game. It’s a means to an end. The end to poverty. The end to my parents’ worries. The end to mine. I’m doing this for my family, myself, and the girl I eventually marry.
The girl I marry? When the hell did this become part of my plan? While I question where this thought comes from, Emma’s face flashes into my mind, giving me some clarity. Marriage wasn’t ever in the books, but Emma…well she’s the kind of girl you bring home to your parents—which I’ve already done. And the girl you marry before she realizes she’s too good for you.
I shake my head when I imagine what Colton and Jesse would say if they could hear my thoughts. I’ve made fun of them for being whipped so often that the moment they saw Emma and me kiss at the New Year’s party, they’d had a field day.
The professor clears his throat as he enters the room. He’s wearing a full-suit, as he normally does, and looks at me skeptically as he puts his bag on the desk.
“Good morning, sir,” I greet him. I know he doesn’t like me very much. He’s probably unhappy he had to come back early from his break to give me this exam. I’m also pretty sure the school administration forced his hand. Bragan University cares a lot about football.
“Morning,” he replies gruffly.
I pull out my pencils from my bag.
“Make sure you don’t take out anything else,” he warns.
I stop myself from giving him a smart-ass reply. “I wouldn’t dream of it, sir. Just pencils and I was just going to pull out some scrap paper.”
“I’ll give you paper,” he replies, and I realize he’s concerned I’m going to cheat. I can’t say I didn’t think about it, but with Emma as my tutor, I know I don’t need to. I can do this.
I zip up my bag. “No problem.” Getting up, I head toward his desk, grabbing the scrap paper he hands over, along with the exam.
“It’s multiple-choice,” Professor Stein says, waving in the direction of the paper in my hand. “It should take you no more than two hours.” He says this casually, like two hours is light work.
“Got it.”
He sits down behind the desk. “Do you have any questions before you start?”
“No, sir.”
“
You may sit and start. Oh, and Mr. Hayes?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t make me regret giving you another chance.”
I nod and walk back to my seat. Opening up the exam, I read through the directions and
head straight to the first multiple choice question.
1. What is a nucleotide?
I read through the answer choices, find the one I’m looking for and fill it in. Then, I move on to the next one, feeling my confidence grow with each question.
I owe Emma so much for this.
I’ll make sure I show her my appreciation after it’s over.
EMMA
I pace around my room anxiously. Zack’s taking his exam today and I know how important it is for him. I know it stands between him and playing football in a couple of weeks.
It’s also what could keep him from achieving his dream of providing for his family by playing professionally.
“He’s got this,” Zoe tells me. I glance in her direction. She’s sitting on her bed, watching me.
“I know, I know.” He’s been working his butt off, learning every concept possible. I even quizzed him and he got all the answers right. I know he can do this; I’m just nervous for him.
“So, stop freaking out.”
I should stop freaking out. I mean, driving myself crazy isn’t helping him do any better. Maybe I shouldn’t have kept him up so late studying last night.
“I can’t help it. This is important for him.” I pause my pacing when I see the amused smile on my roommate’s face. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says, smiling even wider.
I sit down on my bed. “Zoe! What?”
“It’s just cute.”
“What’s cute?”
“You’re worried about your boyfriend.”
I’m about to argue that he isn’t my boyfriend, but then I remember we’ve been official since the New Year’s party.
“He needs to play football.” I know Zoe won’t understand just how much he needs to play this game, but that’s because she doesn’t understand his struggles and it’s not my place to tell her.
I swear her face is going to split in two with how smug she looks right now.
Rolling my eyes, I ask, “What now?”
“You didn’t say he wasn’t your boyfriend.”
Ever since Zack kissed me in the middle of the dance floor at the party, she’s been unable to stop talking about the two of us—our relationship, the fact that she knew something had happened while we were at his parents over Christmas.
“There’s no point in arguing,” I tell her, shrugging.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you liked him,” Zoe says.
“I didn’t know what it was.”
My roommate pouts. “We could’ve talked about it.”
“Honestly, I wanted to pretend I wasn’t attracted to him. Then, I didn’t think the attraction was going to amount to anything. I never expected we’d be dating.”
“I guess after that very public make-out session, you had to stop pretending.”
I grab the pillow closest to me and throw it at her. “Can we stop talking about the public make-out session?”
She chuckles. “Whatever. I’m just a little bitter you didn’t tell me. Although, I did sort of suspect the two of you were attracted to each other before the party.”
“How?”
“I got the confirmation I needed at Good Night Lights. The moment the guys got out of the car, I saw the excitement on his face. And the kiss on the forehead?” she asks with a grin. “That sealed it for me. So tell me everything!”
I feel a sense of relief wash over me. Sliding over to the edge of the bed, I eagerly recount the parts I’d had to keep to myself about what happened over the Christmas weekend. Then, I tell her about the things he said to me while I drove him home that day after the school celebration, and the confrontation he had with my dad.
The moment I start talking, it’s like a dam has broken, all the words coming out at once—words that confirm I’ve completely fallen head over heels for Zack Hayes.
36
ZACK
“Hayes!” The sound of Coach’s voice startles me. I turn around to see what the man who’s been ignoring me for weeks needs.
“Yes, sir?”
I really hope he doesn’t tell me to take off my uniform because I’m not playing. When I told him I got a perfect score on the exam, he barely reacted. I would’ve missed the slight nod if I hadn’t been looking directly at him.
“My office.”
Two words and I’m terrified.
“Yes, sir.”
Coach walks away quickly and I follow him. I’ve worked so hard to get here, earning my right to play. I really hope he doesn’t take this away from me—not when I’m so close, not when my parents have traveled all the way to Florida to see me play what’s supposed to be my last college game.
Taking a deep breath, I say a quick prayer outside his office, then walk through the open door. It takes a moment for my brain to catch up with what I’m seeing.
What’s Emma doing here?
I mean, I knew she was coming to the game—she was traveling with the girls—but I didn’t expect her to be in this office right now. The game doesn’t start for another two hours. It feels like a repeat of last time, but somehow, the air holds so much tension I can barely breathe.
“Come in,” Coach says. I look down at my feet, willing them to move. When they finally listen, I walk the rest of the way in and sit in the chair next to Emma.
“Everything okay?” I mouth to her.
“I don’t know,” she mouths back.
The door closes behind us and Coach slowly walks behind the desk. “You’re probably wondering why I asked you both to come here.”
“Yes,” Emma says, her voice resolute.
“I figured you’d be in Florida for the game,” he says.
“I came to see Zack play,” she says, and I realize she’s trying to stand up for me—to make sure I play.
“I expected that.”
“Okay, so you haven’t said why we’re both in your office right now.” I’m so glad Emma has the words I find myself lacking.
“What are your intentions with my daughter?” Coach’s question shocks us both.
I clear my throat. “What do you mean?”
“Are the two of you dating?”
“You don’t have to answer that,” Emma tells me. Looking to her father, she adds, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
He takes an exasperated breath. “You’re my daughter.”
“And that means?”
“That means I care about you. What happens to you is my business.” He looks down at the desk, at his bunched fists. He loosens them, taking in a deep breath. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“You don’t want me getting hurt, or you don’t want me distracting one of your football players?”
The muscle in his jaw begins to jump. “I don’t want someone to take advantage of you.”
“With all due respect—” I try to cut in.
“Now you care?” Emma says venomously.
Coach nods. “I admit I haven’t been the best father.”
“Wow, really?” Emma says sarcastically.
Her father exhales loudly. “You and your mom, and even Zack, are right. I’ve neglected you.” He stares at Emma to see if she’s going to interject, but when she doesn’t, he continues. “I didn’t know how to be a dad to you. I thought you were fragile, but the reality is you’re strong. I could’ve done better—I should’ve done better, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned being coach it’s that I can’t change the past.”
“No, you can’t.” While Emma holds on to her strength, I see some cracks in her armor. Her dad’s words are shocking for her to hear. It’s the realization she’s been waiting years for him to have.
“But I can do something about the future,” he adds resolutely.
“How so?” Tears are shimmering in her eyes, so I extend my hand and she takes it.
“I’ll do better. I haven’t been trying, but I promise to try now.”
Emma clears her throat. “Why the change of heart?”
Softly, he says, “Because you made me realize how wrong I was. You’re not weak; you’re one of the strongest people I know and I’m so proud to have you as a daughter. No one else would’ve dared to stand up to me the way you did—to confront me with the truth how you have.”
“That doesn’t make everything okay,” she tells him. I suspect she wants to accept his apology, but the cuts run deep. The damage he’s done won’t be repaired with nice words.
“I know it won’t, but this is me promising it’ll be better.”
“That’s why you called us here?”
He nods. “I wanted to say it in front of both of you since it was the two of you who made me realize something your mom’s been fighting with me about for years.”
Emma sits there quietly, mulling over his words. She’s not ready to give in yet, but I know she’s hoping he’s being sincere.
“We are dating, sir,” I say, jumping in to fill the silence. I clear my throat. “I fell in love with your daughter, Coach.”
I turn my head in time to see Emma’s eyes widen. I hadn’t told her that yet.
“You did?” he asks at the same time as Emma says, “You have?”
“Yes,” I answer, my eyes moving from her to Coach. “My intention is to make her happy, to give her what she deserves. I want to love and protect her, and for her to do the same for me.”
EMMA
“And how do you feel about him?” my father asks. It feels like I’m living in an alternate universe, one where the boy I like told me he loves me while the father I’ve always wanted seems invested in me.
I look from my father to Zack. I know it’s too soon to feel the way I’m feeling, but if Zack’s able to put it into words, I shouldn’t be afraid to do the same. “How do I feel about him?” I ask, giving myself time to put my thoughts together.
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