by Jane Ashford
The driver flicked the reins, and they started down. Ariel took a deep breath and sat very straight, hanging on to the strap and rehearsing the words she had planned to say to whoever opened the door.
In the end, it was simple. The old woman servant made no protest when they asked to see Daniel Bolton, but merely took them through a great hall to a door at the back. Knocking, she opened it without waiting for a reply and said, “Someone here to see you,” before tramping off. Trembling, Ariel stepped into an odd room, which seemed at first to be empty.
Shelves along the whole length of two inner walls held bits of stone and broken pottery, along with piles of manuscript and bundles and jars of dried plants. There were instruments she could not identify and, incongruously, a pickax and shovel leaning in the corner. The trestle table before the two wide windows was strewn with drawings that seemed to be architectural; ink from the quill pen had smeared one. There was a small movement, and Ariel realized that a cat sat on the window ledge—the largest cat she had ever seen. Its gray fur blended into the stone lintel, but its eyes, whose blinking had finally attracted her attention, were bright gold.
It looked astonishingly like Prospero, she thought, and for one wild moment wondered whether he had somehow preceded her here. The cat stared at her as if it knew her thoughts, then rose and wove its way along the ledge to a great carved chair that faced away from the door. It leaped onto the arm, and a man’s voice said, “Eh? What? What is it, Ptolemy?”
An arm appeared, and then a head, peering around the tall chairback. Ariel had a moment of sheer panic as the man hidden in the chair rose and stood facing her.
It was like looking in a magic mirror that showed her as a fifty-year-old man, she thought. Like her, Daniel Bolton had glossy brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes. His skin was ruddy, his face rather round. Also like her, he was not overly tall, though he was stocky and strongly built instead of slender. His nose was straight and his lips full. No one could have doubted that they were members of the same family.
“It’s Ariel, isn’t it?” he said.
Surprised by this immediate recognition, Ariel couldn’t speak.
“Little Ariel. I always hoped you’d visit me one day.”
This wasn’t right, she thought. He wasn’t supposed to know her, to speak as if she had neglected him. Nor was the man himself what she had expected. In her childhood fantasies, he had been a duke, a hero, a diplomat—wondrously handsome, rich, and well-bred. When she had learned his identity, she had feared to find a crude country squire, drinking and hunting and falling asleep before the fire with a belch. “You know who I am?” was all she could manage to say.
“How could I help it? You’ve been the image of me since you were born.” He was examining her, too, and he looked as if he was pleased with what he found.
“Since I was… you knew?” Ariel felt as if she might fly to pieces from conflicting feelings. “Why didn’t you ever visit me?” she cried.
Bolton’s jaw hardened. “Bess didn’t want me to interfere,” he replied crisply.
“Interfere?” echoed Ariel, disoriented. All this time, he had been a few days’ journey away, and neither of her parents had seen fit to let her know that.
“When she left, she said she didn’t wish to hear from me again. I take it she has changed her mind?” Though he spoke coolly, Ariel heard the eager undertone.
“Bess Harding is dead,” said Lord Alan flatly.
Their host swung around to stare at him as if he hadn’t even noticed him until now. “Dead? Bess?”
“She killed herself,” Lord Alan added, looking as if he rather enjoyed the harshness of the words.
Bolton turned white. He put a hand on the trestle table and supported himself. “When?”
“Two months ago.”
The older man rubbed his free hand across his face. “This is dreadful news. Dreadful,” he muttered.
Ariel felt a pang for the way he had been told.
“I have thought of her as alive,” he added dazedly. “I didn’t feel it. I didn’t know.” He groped his way back to his chair. His eye lit upon an abandoned tankard of ale sitting among his papers, and he picked it up and drained it. “I always thought that, one day, she would regret leaving,” he said. “I knew it was foolish, but I kept believing that she would come back.” He shook his head. “Not really believing, I suppose. More of a daydream.” He shook his head again, as if he couldn’t quite assimilate this new knowledge. “Little Bess,” he murmured.
“When did you see her last?” asked Lord Alan. He sounded almost suspicious.
“See her?” Daniel Bolton looked sad. “It’s been nearly twenty years since I saw Bess.” He sighed. “Twenty years. How can it be possible?” Making a visible effort, he pulled himself together. “So. Bess is gone, and… and you have come to me,” he said. He focused on Ariel once again.
She didn’t know how to react. Was he going to try to pretend this was a simple family visit?
“We tracked you down,” Lord Alan corrected.
“Tracked?” He looked from one to the other.
“I never knew who my father was, or where you were,” Ariel accused. “After Bess… was gone, I found a scrap of paper with a record of her marriage. I never even knew she was married!”
He looked stricken. “She never told you? Nothing about me at all?”
“She made up stories,” replied Ariel bitterly. In her secret heart, she had thought that her mother needed the stories as a defense, that perhaps the truth wasn’t something to acknowledge. She had tried to spare Bess’s feelings, she thought angrily. No one seemed to have considered hers.
“Stories,” Bolton repeated, bewildered. “Bess liked stories.”
“And she had no reason for them at all?” asked Lord Alan harshly.
The other man’s eyes sharpened. “What do you mean by that?”
“She must have had some reason for concealing your existence.”
“Reason?” Bolton gave a mirthless laugh. “Bess always had her reasons, but I could never fathom any of them.”
“But not to tell her daughter…?”
“What are you trying to say?” demanded their host. “Do you imagine I beat her or degraded her in some way? I didn’t!”
The two men stared at one another in tense silence. A bird called outside.
“Don’t,” said Ariel.
As if to second her request, the huge cat jumped down to the floor and began twining around Bolton’s ankles. The latter took a deep breath and relaxed slightly.
To ease things further, Ariel formally introduced Lord Alan and Hannah. The older man nodded to them. “You have thought all your life that I abandoned you,” he said heavily then.
Ariel nodded.
Bolton rubbed his face again. “What a tangle.”
“Perhaps you’d like a bit more ale, sir,” suggested Hannah.
He looked startled, then rueful. “You must excuse me. I have not been a very gracious host. Let us all have some refreshment. I’ll go and ask Gladys to bring you some of our cider. It’s very fine.”
“I’ll go,” said Hannah. And before he could respond, she had slipped out the door. In a few minutes, she returned with the old servant woman, who carried a tray filled with small tankards of cider. Bolton grasped one and lifted it. “A toast to our reunion,” he said and drank. After a brief hesitation, the others joined him.
“I hope you will stay awhile,” he added. “I should like a chance to… explain.”
After a moment Ariel nodded. She very much wanted to hear an explanation.
“Gladys will find you rooms. Ask her for anything you need.” He hesitated, then added, “I’m very pleased you have come, Ariel.”
***
Dinner that evening was plagued with silences. When the dishes had been cleared away, Bolton suggested they sit
for a while in his study. “It is the most comfortable room in the house,” he told Ariel. “Some say it is the only comfortable room.”
When they were settled before the hearth there, he spoke again. “Perhaps you would listen to my story?” His face and tone were deeply earnest. “I would count it a great favor if you would.”
Alan watched Ariel nod, clearly increasingly drawn to this man. He knew she was intensely curious about the past and the secrets her mother had kept, but it seemed to him that she was going beyond mere curiosity. He wanted to warn her not to trust too far, but he had had no opportunity. And perhaps he hadn’t the right, either, he thought bitterly.
Bolton folded his hands before him and gazed at the chimneypiece as if staring into the past. “I want you to understand,” he began. “I have made mistakes, I know. But if I explain, perhaps you…” He made a dismissive gesture. “Never mind. Let me simply tell it.” He appeared to gather his thoughts. “I have always been of a scholarly bent,” he said then, “and in my youth I went to study at Oxford.”
Alan started slightly. This explained the specimens on the shelves and the masses of papers. Logically, this would seem to form a link between them. But he found he didn’t like the idea of Bolton as a scholar at all.
“I was extremely happy there,” the other continued. “Learning has been a passion since I was a child. Indeed, my fellow students at Oxford used to mock my diligence and devotion to my work.” Bolton looked at Ariel briefly as if he was a bit reluctant to continue. “It was because of their jokes that I agreed to attend a drinking party one evening, when I was visiting in London. I thought to show them that I was not too wrapped up in my studies to be convivial.” He paused. “So, on that night I was part of a noisy crowd at an inn in the city. I was returning from the… er… the privy when a young girl stopped me in the yard behind the alehouse.”
He paused again, his eyes eons distant, his face sad. “She was the loveliest thing I’d ever seen. Hair the color of sunset, face like an elfin princess. I thought at first she was something the drink had conjured in my brain. Then she said, ‘You’re one of them students?’ and I noticed her poor clothes and her accent and knew she was real. When I admitted I was a student, she came closer and said that she wanted to learn to read and asked if I would teach her.”
Ariel blinked. She let out the breath she had been holding. She was enthralled, Alan thought. Moment by moment, this stranger was drawing her under his spell, and away from her former friends and life. He noticed that his fists were clenched.
Bolton turned his head away. Alan thought his cheeks reddened slightly. “I wasn’t used to drinking so much, and I was still smarting from my fellow students’ mockery, so I played the arrogant young sprig and asked her what she’d give me for the teaching. She said, ‘Anything’ and took my arm in a way I thought was practiced. I abandoned my friends and hurried her back to my lodgings and… into my bed. By the time I realized that she was frightened, and younger than I’d taken her for, it was too late.”
He stopped then, definitely flushed with embarrassment. After a few moments, he swallowed and sighed. “What fools we are when we’re young.”
A nicely abstract excuse, Alan thought sardonically.
“I was appalled at what I’d done,” he went on. “But Bess merely got angry and said I’d promised to teach her and when could we begin?” He shook his head. “She was such an odd combination of cynicism and innocence. How many men would have kept such a bargain?”
Ariel looked touched, Alan thought. And by what? A tale of common seduction. He gazed at Bolton with dislike.
“Or maybe any man would have done anything to keep her,” their host continued. “In any case, I took her back to Oxford with me. I got new lodgings outside the town. And I taught her. How I taught her.” He clamped his lips tight for a moment. “She learned as a starving person eats,” he went on. “I had to make her sleep, some nights, or she would have worn herself out. She wanted to know how to speak properly. And stories—always she wanted more stories.”
He paused, his flush deepening. “Then, she found she was with child.”
“Me,” said Ariel.
He nodded. “By this time, I loved her as I’d never loved before.”
Alan felt his lip curl. That word—“love”—used by so many to excuse so much dishonorable behavior.
“We were married that very week,” Bolton said, “and I brought Bess back to Somerset as my wife. A few months later, you were born.”
“Here?”
“Indeed.”
“But… I don’t understand.” Ariel gazed around the room. “What happened? Why did she leave?”
Raising his eyebrows slightly, Alan waited for the answer to this important question.
Bolton frowned. “Bess didn’t care for Ivydene—not the place itself, but being so isolated. She missed the bustle of a town, all the people around her there. I claimed that a husband and child should be enough for her. And when she raged at that, I retreated further into my work, which only made her angrier. It was a wretched time.” He sighed.
Ariel’s eyes were fixed on his face as if he were the answer to all her prayers. Alan’s mouth fell into a grim line.
Bolton shook his head. “She came to me one day and said that she was leaving for London and that she didn’t want me to come. I argued, but I was a stiff-necked young fool, and after a while I told her to go and be damned to her. I didn’t think she really would. But she took you and went.”
There was a silence.
“I wonder she didn’t leave me here,” said Ariel. “It must have been much harder for her, having a baby to care for.”
Her father shook his head. “Bess would never have left you. You haven’t understood her if you think so. You were hers. From the moment you were born, she held on to you like a tigress. No one could interfere. Once, when we were arguing about going to London, I threatened to keep you.” He laughed without humor. “I thought she would kill me.”
Again, they sat in silence for a time. Ariel looked like she was fighting tears, Alan thought.
Bolton rose and stood at the window, half turned away from them. “Soon after she left, I became very ill. It was weeks before I threw off the fever. And then I had word that Bess had made a great success in the theater. It… it made me angry.” He looked a bit ashamed. “I’d hoped she would find she couldn’t get along in London and come back to me, you see. But it seemed she was happy?”
“She loved the playhouse,” Ariel replied, “the cheers, the drama, the comradeship.”
Bess Harding had apparently loved the gowns and jewels and male attention, too, Alan thought, but no one mentioned that.
“And the chance to have a hundred lives, in the characters she played,” added her father, surprising Ariel with his insight. “Bess wanted everything. Every taste, every experience she could cram into a day.”
The silence that followed was laden with the unspoken. Alan wished they had never come.
***
The next day, Ariel’s father showed her the house and grounds, explaining something of his life as he did so. “I’m interested in the properties of herbs,” he said as he took her around a large garden full of plants she didn’t recognize. “There’s an old woman in Glastonbury who is extremely knowledgeable and has shared her wisdom with me. Do you know that there are herbs to cool fever and banish backache, to soothe the stomach and bring sleep? It is one of Nature’s great bounties.”
“My mother always used to laugh about my love for books,” said Ariel. “I never understood why until now. I must have gotten it from you.” It was odd, suddenly having a heritage that went beyond her mother, she thought.
The look he gave her was unsettling.
Ariel still didn’t know how she felt about all this. She was strongly drawn to this man who was her father. He seemed intelligent and kind and eager
to form a bond with her now that they had met. But all the years when he had made no attempt to see her or contact her stood between them. The fact that Bess hadn’t wanted him to come wasn’t enough of an explanation. How could he be so glad to see her now, and yet never have tried to do so in twenty years?
The contradictions made her uneasy, and she did not feel the least at home in Ivydene so far. And to add to her discomfort, Lord Alan seemed to have withdrawn from her again, after those hopeful moments on the road. He had hardly spoken to her since they arrived, and his expression remained coldly noncommittal. Perhaps he was just waiting for an opportunity to go and leave her in the care of Daniel Bolton, Ariel thought nervously. Her father’s name didn’t even sound familiar yet.
Well, she wasn’t going to be left, or kept, or anything but what she decided to do, she told herself fiercely. But it was growing harder and harder to maintain a pleasant, interested facade with all this happening around her.
“I explore the past,” her father said later as they sat in his workroom watching the sun sink behind the orchard. “Glastonbury is an ancient place. There was an abbey here seven hundred years ago, and our family has lived here as long.”
“Family.” Ariel had never heard the word used in reference to herself.
He smiled. “Your ancestors came over with the Normans. And one of those adventurers married the Saxon mistress of Ivydene, so the bloodline goes back even farther. Some member of the family has always occupied the place.”
“Seven hundred years,” Ariel marveled. She couldn’t comprehend it. In the blink of an eye, she had changed from being a woman with no heritage to one with a vast line of ancestors behind her. It made her giddy, as if she had spun too fast in a circle and upset her sense of balance.