What are her eyes like behind those glasses?
The screwdriver I’m using slips and the tiny screw falls to the floor. “Shit, damn,” I say and I start searching. It doesn’t help my mood when I lift my head and it hits the side of the counter. “Damn, shit,” I mutter this time. I’m still screwless; the damn thing is lost.
She must have some type of figure under the ill-fitting clothes. She must.
Chapter Eight
Flora
GO FETCH. SEE to it?
He’s insane, and if he values the tiny little appendage between his legs, he’ll rethink keeping me here. So the hot peppers backfired. My next plan won’t. Now I just need to come up with another plan.
“Who are you?” a female voice asks from behind me. I turn and my mouth drops open. Before me is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Her facial features are those of a pixy. Tiny nose, high cheekbones, and a mountain of braided hair so blonde it’s almost white. She has it in some kind of arrangement that wraps around her head and trails down over her shoulders. The woman doesn’t appear happy to see me if her tight lips are anything to judge by. Her stance makes a statement too—her legs are equally apart and in perfect balance for a fight. Every inch of her is toned and sculpted. Even her breasts are the perfect size—not too big not too small. She’s naked, so believe me I get the full effect of her beauty. Whoever she is, irritation is evident in her expression. What the heck has that crazy dragon gotten me into?
I place my hand out. “Hi, I’m Flora.” She’s probably one of his lovers.
She looks down, her lips pinch harder, and without taking my offered hand shake, she raises her pert, perfect nose. “Okay, what are you?”
Hmm. How do I answer that? I pull my hand back and just give her the look. It’s the look my grandma taught me to use when someone was behaving like a rotten apple. I cross my arms across my chest to let her know how tough I am too.
She steps forward and completely invades my personal space before sniffing me. “You’re something other than human,” she says and steps back. Her regard is now inquisitive. “You’re a shifter of some sort. Are you Ashrac’s new housekeeper?”
“Umm, no.” Ashrac might expect me to be his new housekeeper but that’s not happening.
“Are you his paramour?”
This woman stepped out of the last century and I’m done with playing nice. “The proper greeting is to shake my hand, tell me your name, and then we ask each other questions.” She jerks her head away from me and there’s something about her that gives me pause. “You’re a dragon shifter like Ashrac?” I say after it dawns on me.
Her eyes sweep up my body, down my body, and then she meets my eyes again. I’m surprised when her hand comes out. “I’m Jewel of the Purple Dragon Clan.”
I take her hand and smile. “Nice to meet you, Jewel. I’m Flora if you missed that earlier. By any chance could you carry me past the barrier that’s keeping me here?”
Her mouth twists even more. It’s adorable on her. “You don’t want to be here?”
I shake my head. “No. Ashrac kidnapped me to be his mate and I’m not happy about it.”
She stares.
I stare back. What is it with these dragons?
Our statue poses get a bit ridiculous and she finally speaks again. “Ashrac kidnapped you and you’re asking me to help you escape?”
Maybe she has hearing problems. “Yes, it’s no fun being kidnapped.”
The staring match begins again until suddenly she belts out, “I need to speak with Ashrac.” With that she turns and walks away.
I think about this for a moment. It occurs to me she knows Ashrac and is most likely friends with him. Crap. She’ll tell him I’m trying to get away.
I quickly cast off my clothes, leave them scattered on the dining hall floor, and leap from the closest window and shift. I streak to the lab’s window and rest on the landing just as Jewel enters the room.
“You kidnapped a bride and brought her here?” she demands. Ashrac looks up from whatever he’s doing with a scowl. He doesn’t seem impressed that she’s naked.
“Leave me be, woman. I have work to do,” he snarls like the rude jerk he is. After a noisy inhale, he turns his back on her.
I cock my head in delight. This should be fun and I’m not disappointed.
Jewel walks up to Ashrac and clocks him upside the head with her palm.
“Ow,” he yells and rubs his head. “I told you I don’t have time.”
“You’ll make time. You can’t just go around kidnapping women, Ashrac. What will your mother say?”
I spread my wings and pull them back in. Dragonbreath has a mother. Who knew? I guess I did but still.
“My mother is on vacation with Father. The woman will adapt, and when she does, she’ll be happy to be my mate.”
Jewel moves in closer and sticks her finger in his face. “Is she your mate?”
His shoulders rise and fall. “Doubtful,” he huffs.
Why does his one word send a sharp pain into my gut?
“Doubtful? Are you out of your mind? She’s a woman. You can’t go around kidnapping someone just in case they’re your mate.”
Ashrac’s hand comes up, his palm toward her in a stop motion. “I need a mate. She agreed to be kidnapped for a trial period.”
I pull my head from my feathers where I was preening as I listened. He’s nuts. I did not agree to be kidnapped. I agreed to put him in his place. Not for him to knock me out and carry me to his realm.
“Then why did she request I take her to the realm crossing so she can leave you?”
He blows his straggly hair from his eyes. “How should I know? Women make their own rules. This one runs hot and cold and it would probably be best if you took her back. She can cook, but she hasn’t proven herself in any other areas I require. She’s also homely, and I think I can do better.”
I pick my beak off the floor and slam my jaw shut. That moron. I’ll show him better.
“What about love, Ashrac? You’re supposed to love your mate and protect her.” He gives her a quelling look. “And care about her feelings.”
His expression remains set.
Jewel brushes one braid from her shoulder. “What if you gave her to Cantor? All the women love him and I have a feeling he’d like her.”
Oh hell no. I leave a nice juicy dropping on the landing for that comment. I don’t care if Jewel said it. No way are these crazy dragons passing me around.
Ashrac gives her a killing look and a tendril of smoke floats from his nostrils. “No. She’s mine.”
What did he say?
“She’s only yours because you don’t want anyone else, especially Cantor, to take one of your treasures. I’ll take her to Cantor and you can forget about her.”
“No.” The word thunders in the room. “I’ll keep her. After I train her, she’ll make a decent mate.”
A small smile curves Jewel’s lips. “You like her.”
Ashrac turns his back and starts working on whatever it is he does in here. “Go, woman, and leave me in peace. Do not give that female a ride through the realm crossing. She’ll be happy soon enough.”
Yes I will as long as my sword pierces his heart. Sword. Damn, I need a new one.
“Since when do you have a golden eagle in your realm?” Jewel asks.
Oh crap. I flex my wings and take off. I’m not ready to give away my shifting capabilities. I might have liked Jewel if she hadn’t threatened to give me to someone else. Maybe I’m going about this all wrong. If Ashrac liked… no, loved me, my revenge would be so sweet. I need to put my other plan in place first. Ashrac needs a heavy dose of eagle trouble and I know exactly how to do it. These dragons are very concerned with the color of their scales and I can use that. I release a loud and long gleeful caw.
This will be hilarious.
Chapter Nine
Ashrac
THIS IS THE red dragon realm and no poop-laden bird has a right to call it hom
e without my full agreement. Since Jewel asked about the eagle, I can take her off my culprit list of who brought the damn thing through the realm crossing.
I spot him in the distance and put on a burst of speed. He flies into dense trees and I follow. Of course the area is entirely too small for a dragon and I end up taking down branches and smaller trees. I land and try to catch sight of feather farts. The glob of poo that lands on my shoulder is going too far. I’ve never eaten an eagle, but there’s a first time for everything.
I attempt to lift off and a strange wave of energy hits me. I wobble for a step or two before it passes and I’m able to take off. Very strange. I streak out of the dark forest, looping higher into the air when I catch sight of my right wing. I pull it in and start barreling toward the ground as an ear-splitting shriek leaves my massive jaws.
What the fuck?
My beautiful wing, or what was a beautiful wing, is green. I hit the ground hard because I’m more concerned with my wing than what’s below me. I stumble and right myself, and as I do, I catch sight of my other wing. My legs too. I’m green. I’m cursed. Or I’m dying. That’s it. Some horrible disease carried by eagle poop has invaded this realm and now I’m dying. My dragon’s curse is death.
I launch into the air and fly back to the castle while making a list of all the things I need to do before the last dying breath leaves my body. If the end comes quicker than expected, I’ll have Jewel return Flora to her home. There’s no reason the miserable creature should suffer here without me. The loss of me would be devastating to her even if she tries to hide it. My parents could probably use her in their castle for laundry and other simple chores but she would most likely be bored. I owe it to her to send her back. I catch sight of my green wing again and cringe. No one should be cursed or diseased in this way.
I land on the ledge outside her room. I can’t help my horrified wail when I catch sight of myself again. I immediately shift, so I can’t look at it any longer.
“What on earth is wrong with you?” the woman demands after running outside.
“I’m dying. My dragon has been cursed.”
A small grin tips her lips and her hands move to her waist. “Somehow I’m not surprised. It’s not like you go around making friends on a daily basis. I bet you have more enemies than a bear in a beehive. So what’s your affliction?”
She’s taking this well. “You didn’t see it? My dragon was green. Green has eaten all the red. I’m dying and you’ll need to make plans to return home after I’m gone.”
The woman’s grin turns into a full smile, which I don’t understand. “I’m sorry to disappoint you but it’s not just your dragon who’s green.”
I swear my eyes bug from my face. I lift my human arms and the revulsion moves into another dimension. I am green. Fucking green. My gaze shifts to the woman and I stare back in horror.
She begins laughing and it doesn’t stop. Her hand covers her mouth and then she drops to her knees. Tears drip from under her glasses and slide down her face. And she keeps laughing. My roar has no effect. The woman has lost her marbles. She eventually uncovers her eyes and looks at me.
“I’m green,” I say again, and the laughing starts over.
“I…” she nudges her glasses up and wipes her eyes, “I don’t think you’re dying.”
I pace several feet and turn around. “How can you be sure?”
“Well—” she starts laughing again, holding her stomach, and chortling like a… a… I don’t know but something that laughs. When she comes up for air it’s not my eyes her gaze catches. “That’s green too,” she says while pointing at my lower waist area. I look down and scream. Not a gruff man scream but a flat out, worms are eating my flesh, scream. It’s green. I could be dying in pieces and it could fall off before the dreaded disease claims all of me.
The woman can no longer breathe she’s laughing so hard. I decide I don’t like her. Not at all. Nudity has never bothered me because I’m a prime specimen and don’t mind showing off. But this… my cock is green. I cup my shriveled self and hide it.
The woman stops laughing. She removes her glasses and assesses me. I stop breathing, and I mean no air escaped my lungs for a full minute. Without the glasses she’s something… more and even the fact my dick is green doesn’t keep me from staring. Her dark brown eyes are beautiful. I shake my head in order to bring my thoughts around to the problem at hand or more exactly in my hand.
I’m green and the disease didn’t stop at my dragon form.
Chapter Ten
Flora
MELODRAMA ANYONE? DARN it, I actually feel sorry for him, but I’m just unsure how to remedy the situation. The green will eventually wear off if I hold my magic back from doing it again. The green doesn’t detract from the fine specimen dragonbreath is in dragon and human form. My, oh my. His muscles ripple with each breath. My mouth waters and my tongue flicks out to swab my lips at the thought.
No.
I’m better than this. The man kidnapped me.
I tip my chin an inch higher and tell the biggest whopping lie I can think of. “There is a disease in the Earth realm that has this type of reaction. I’ve heard appendages fall off even.” My eyes go to his crotch and then lift back up in sympathy. “Do you have a local doctor?” I barely manage to keep a grin from splitting my face again.
He looks down and then back up at me with eyes that practically pop from his head. I take a step in his direction. “Why don’t you let me take a closer look at your green penis to see if it’s showing signs of brittlemortis.”
His eyes go impossibly rounder. “Is that the name of the disease?” he asks with dread in each word.
“Yep.”
His hands move away and I have another look at him. It’s large and not even the slightest bit erect. I wonder how far I can take this. “Can I touch?”
His hands slap over his penis. “No. What if you touch it and it falls off?”
A girl must try. “Sometimes brittlemortis is helped by vigorous activity. There’s no cure but there are lesser forms of the disease.” I look away because watching his horrified expression is more than I can take, and I’m half a second from rolling on the floor in laughter again.
“I’ll go talk to Jewel’s mother, Pepper. She may have an idea on how to cure it.” With that he turns, runs out the window, and launches off the balcony. One second he’s a green man and the next he’s a green dragon flying away.
The laughter hits hard. It’s so bad I have difficulty breathing. Brittlemortis. Oh my goddess the laughter hurts my belly.
As an eagle shifter I have few abilities compared to other shifter species. One thing I can do is control pigmentation with my magic and the other is calling up a turd when needed for launching. That’s about it. Happily, when dealing with a dragon, controlling pigmentation appears to be enough. Splashing him with turds is a bonus.
I eventually pull myself together, dust off my hands, wipe the tears from my eyes, and look around. I need to stay busy until dragonbreath returns. A picture of the cellar and what it’s stocked with fills my head. I know exactly what I’ll do.
Lighting the stove and adjusting the temperature takes an hour. I added wood, adjusted the vents, removed wood, and added more to get it where it needed to be. The flour is in a large burlap sack in the cellar and it’s easier to fill a bowl and carry it up than bring the entire bag up to the kitchen. I have everything I need after two visits down and up the stairs.
I love to bake and I’m good at it. By the time I’m ready to place the pans in the oven, I’m covered in flour and my hair is a wavy mess because I got tired of that darn bun. The cake batter is exactly how I want it and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it won’t fall as it bakes. I head to my room and take a bath. Earlier I discovered a fully functioning bathroom that even produces hot water for the tub. I soak and wash my body and then wash my hair.
I dress in more of Ashrac’s too large clothes. They hide my curves and I consider that a plus right now.
The last thing I need is Ashrac looking at me the way I look at him. The cake is ready when I return to the kitchen. I let it cool while whipping up the frosting. My sugary confection turns out perfectly and if it tastes as good as it smells, I’ll consider my baking abilities in a cast iron oven a success. I can’t wait to see the look on Ashrac’s face when he sees it.
I spend another hour wandering around the castle learning all the nooks and crannies. The sword cabinet is my last destination. I swipe another sword to hide under my bed. Now, I’ve done everything I can to keep from flying out my window in eagle form. But I failed, so I finally shift to put some air beneath my wings.
Ashrac’s realm is beautiful. From the huge lake to the jagged cliffs that surround it, his kingdom is something to behold. It’s too bad it belongs to such a dunce of a sexy dragon. Yeah, I’m noticing his sexy more and more. It’s not like me to be attracted to such an ass.
My travels take me in and out of canyons and I snatch a sparrow from the sky and eat it for a snack. It will hold me over until I can serve dragonbreath his just desserts.
Chapter Eleven
Ashrac
JEWEL’S AND PEPPER’S laughter is not helping the situation. They’ve gone from gasping for air to hugging each other and falling to the floor just like the woman back at my castle. I don’t see how death by brittlemortis and being green causes this reaction. They should display dignified horror and loads of sympathy.
Jewel looks up at me from the floor, wiping her eyes, and still chuckling. “You… you’ve been had,” she lets loose again. Pepper is doing no better.
“What the hell?” I hear from behind me. “You’re giving frogs a bad name, Ashrac. What the hell happened?”
Paranormal Dating Agency: Dragons Don't Lie (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Fire Chronicles Book 5) Page 4