by Barbara Gee
Kelly tried several times to get James to stop asking so many questions and give Chad a break, but his new uncle assured her he didn’t mind the chatter. As the drive went on, however, James’ early morning caught up with him and he eventually curled up and fell asleep.
Kelly’s stomach started hurting again and she unconsciously pressed her hand against it, willing the butterflies to quiet down. Chad noticed her discomfort and smiled sadly.
“It’s going to be okay, Kelly,” he said softly. “James and Maggie are very grateful to you for making this effort, after what they did.”
“You mean ignoring our family’s existence for almost nine years?” Kelly snapped, then immediately apologized. “I’m so sorry, Chad, I shouldn’t take my stress out on you. You’ve been nothing but nice and I’m grateful. I’m just so worried about how this week is going to go.”
Chad nodded somberly. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to come here.”
“For a nickel I’d turn around and head right back home.”
He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not going to make any excuses for them, or for Amy either. My wife never got over missing her big brother, but once James and Maggie wrote Jamie off it was easiest to just go along with it. There was too much pain and anger. It was awful hard on Amy for the first few years, but gradually she came to accept it. And they didn’t talk about Jamie at all. We dated for at least six months before I even knew she had a brother.”
Kelly fought back tears. “That’s horrible, Chad. I’m not trying to be mean, but no family should treat one of their own that way. I can’t begin to tell you how hurt Jamie and I were.”
“Understood, and I completely agree. I’m curious, Kelly, did you ever meet James Sr.?”
“Twice, but only for as long as it took to eat dinner. I obviously wasn’t their first choice for their son, and they hoped I was nothing more than a temporary nuisance. At least that’s the impression I got.”
Chad nodded. “I’ve never in my life met anyone like James Sr. used to be. A more dogmatic, passionate, arrogant, demanding man has never lived. If he approved of you, you were golden. If not, look out. He’d squash you like a bug and walk away without a second thought. Very few people have ever stood up to him and not suffered consequences.”
“I take it you’re one of the fortunate golden ones,” Kelly remarked.
“Thankfully, yes. Probably because I’m not a threat to him in any way, and I have some skills to contribute to the running of Wild Rose. And of course I’m madly in love with his daughter.”
“Well that’s good. I’m glad,” Kelly said, realizing it was true. She liked Chad, and no one should be made to live in misery by a cantankerous man with a chip on his shoulder.
“But that was the old James,” Chad said, immediately gaining Kelly’s full attention.
“What do you mean?”
Chapter 4
Chad opened his mouth to answer, then clamped it shut and shrugged. “It’s not for me to tell, Kelly. It’s a long, complicated story and you need to hear it from Maggie and James. They’ve suffered greatly all these years. Granted, it’s at their own hands, but telling you about their journey needs to be part of the healing. I can’t spoil that for them.”
Kelly pressed her hand against her stomach again. “I don’t know if I can do this, Chad. I truly want James to have a chance to get to know his grandparents, but how am I supposed to handle this? Pretend that everything they’ve done is forgotten and had no lasting consequences? Pretend that I don’t think it’s appalling that they didn’t even show up to their own son’s funeral when he died at the age of twenty-six?”
Her whole body was trembling now with nerves and frustration and anger, and Kelly put her hands over her face and tried to breathe slow and deep.
Shaking his head sadly, Chad slowed down and took a left hand turn. He stopped the truck and Kelly dropped her hands and looked up to see a beautiful wrought iron sign arching up and over the driveway, anchored in two impressive brick pillars.
“Wild Rose Ranch,” she read quietly.
“We’ll sit here as long as you need to,” Chad offered considerately. “The driveway is almost a mile long, so no one knows we’re here yet. Do you want to get out and walk for a bit?”
Kelly thought about it, but shook her head. “Just stay here for a few minutes. And I really am sorry to keep lashing out at you, Chad.”
“I only hope you can be honest with Maggie and James when the time comes. They shouldn’t be shielded from the consequences of their selfishness.”
Kelly sighed. “Part of the healing process?”
“For you, yes. You need the chance to heal as much as they do, and pretending everything is fine won’t get you there.”
“But what if James Sr. squashes me like a bug?” she asked, her voice smaller and more fearful than she’d intended.
“He won’t. Not now. He doesn’t squash anymore. Trust me.”
Kelly looked out her window, silently observing the place Jamie had grown up. She saw some cattle in the distance, both red and black, which would please James. The sun was bright, and she knew it was hot out, even though it was only March. Mature trees grew along the drive, and their branches swayed slightly, indicating at least a bit of a cooling breeze. She reluctantly acknowledged the beauty of the landscape even though it was very different from the rolling Blue Ridge mountains she was used to.
This was little James’ heritage, she reminded herself, and she needed to give him the chance to enjoy it without tainting his experience with her own mixed feelings. Turning around in her seat, she gently nudged him awake.
“We’re here, James. The Wild Rose Ranch. See the sign?”
He woke up quickly, squinting through the windshield. A grin lit up his face.
“What are we waiting for? I’m hungry and I want to see my grandma and grandpa.”
Kelly looked over at Chad and shrugged, smiling wryly. “What are we waiting for, Chad? James, Maggie and lunch await.”
He noted her renewed determination and nodded approvingly. “Here we go then. See the cattle over there, James? That’s only a few of what the Wild Rose has. They’re all spread out over thousands of acres.”
The little boy was beside himself by the time the stables came into view, with all colors of magnificent horses surrounding the huge white building, some grazing, some milling around in adjoining corrals, some being worked in a larger, separate corral. James was rarely speechless, but this was such a moment. He simply took it all in, his eyes huge and shining. Kelly couldn’t help but enjoy his reaction.
“What do you think so far, James?” she asked softly.
“It’s way better than the books, Mom. The Wild Rose is the best place in the world.”
Arching her brows at Chad, Kelly had to laugh. “Would you agree, Uncle Chad? Looks like a lot of work to me.”
“It is,” Chad agreed readily. “It’s both things, actually. A lot of work, and definitely the best place in the world.” He looked back and winked at James. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to work the whole time you’re here, buddy. We’ll make sure you get some time to explore and play, too.”
Kelly was going to respond, but then the house came into view. It was a huge, beautiful ranch house comprised of a two story main structure, with wings on either end. The house was white with dark green shutters and a wide, covered porch that wrapped around as far as she could see. Several large trees shaded the porch from the high noon sun, and Kelly saw a screened in section on the side of the house where it looked like their lunch was being set up.
“Looks like Sarah is setting up the table on the porch,” Chad said, confirming Kelly’s observation.
“Who’s Sarah?” James wanted to know, his hand on the door handle, waiting eagerly for the truck to come to a halt so he could get out.
“She’s the cook and housekeeper at Wild Rose. And I guarantee you’ll love everything she makes.”
“I won’t like broccoli,”
James said matter-of-factly.
Chad laughed and put the truck in park. “Okay, I’ll give you that one.” He gave Kelly an encouraging smile. “Ready?”
“No,” she said softly, “but no more stalling. Let’s get this over with.”
Before she could get out of the huge truck, James was off running toward the front door. He bounded up the four porch steps, coming to a screeching halt when the front door opened and a woman stepped out. Suddenly shy, James turned tail and ran back to Kelly, his eyes anxious.
“Is that my grandma?” he whispered loudly.
Kelly recognized Maggie and nodded. “Yes, James, that’s her. I’ll introduce you, okay?”
Taking a deep breath Kelly forced herself to walk toward the woman who waited on the porch wringing her hands. Wow, she looked every bit as nervous as Kelly felt, and somehow that helped to calm some of the butterflies.
Kelly walked up the steps, holding James’ hand tightly.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Matherson,” she said politely.
Her mother-in-law pressed a hand to her heart, her eyes never leaving James’ face. “Maggie,” she said, her voice breaking. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Call me Maggie. Welcome, Kelly. And this is your beautiful boy, James.”
She knelt down and tentatively opened her arms. “Can I have a hug, James? Just a quick one?”
James held back, and Kelly suspected he was confused because Maggie’s eyes were filled with tears even as her lips formed a trembling smile.
“It’s okay, James,” Kelly assured him, squeezing his hand and then gently urging him closer to Maggie. “Give your new grandma a hug.”
James stepped reluctantly into her arms and Maggie drew him close, tears now streaming down her face. When James pulled back she immediately released him, and quickly wiped at her tears.
“I’m so glad to see you, James. Did you have fun riding in the airplane?”
He nodded solemnly. “And in Uncle Chad’s truck.”
“I’m glad you’re finally here. Are you hungry? Our cook has made a wonderful lunch, with lots to choose from because we don’t yet know what you like to eat.”
“Anything but broccoli,” Chad declared, giving James a manly fist bump. “James and I are standing strong on that, aren’t we buddy?”
“No broccoli,” James agreed, looking adoringly at his uncle before turning back to ask his grandma where his grandpa and aunt were.
“They’re inside and very anxious to meet you, James. Let’s go find them.”
The house was as beautiful inside as out. Kelly couldn’t help but admire the lovely furnishings, many of them antiques that had probably been in the family for generations. They followed Maggie through the front living room, and just as they approached the door into a hallway, James Kincaid Matherson, Sr. walked through it. He was as tall as Kelly remembered, but much thinner, and as he walked toward them she noticed his gait was a bit uneven.
Just like his wife, James, Sr. had eyes only for James. “You must be my grandson,” he said, his voice deep, the muscles in his throat convulsing with emotion. “You look like a fine young man, and I’m very glad you’re here.” His gaze moved briefly to Kelly and she thought the glance might mean he was including her in that last sentiment.
“I’m James,” the little boy said, looking way up at the tall gray haired man before him.
“So am I,” James Sr. said. “I’m the first James, your daddy was the second, and you’re the third. How about that.”
James pondered this. “I have pictures of my daddy in my bedroom, but I don’t remember him. Mom says it’s ‘cause I was really little when he died. She says he was a good daddy, and I believe her ‘cause she knows it’s wrong to tell lies.”
His grandfather chuckled. “Well I remember your daddy, and I’m sure your mom is right. And I’m sure he loved you very much.”
“Mom says he did.” James looked back and forth between Maggie and James, Sr. “Mom says she doesn’t know what I should call you. She said I should wait for you to tell me.”
“What would you like to call us?” Maggie asked warmly.
“Not Gran and Pops, ‘cause that’s what I call my other grandma and grandpa.”
Maggie smiled. “Well, let’s see. I used to call my own grandparents Grammy and Paw Paw. What do you think of that?”
James gave it some thought, then tried it. “Grammy and Paw Paw. I guess it sounds okay. No one else has those names.”
James Sr. tentatively patted James on the head. “It’s settled then. I’m proud to be your Paw Paw, young man. Now how about we have some lunch?”
“Yeah, I’m starving.” Forgetting about Chad and Kelly, James fell into step between his grandparents. As they walked through a set of french doors onto the screened in porch, Amy emerged from another set of doors off the kitchen and hurried toward them.
“Kelly,” she said softly, tears forming in her blue eyes that were so much like her brother’s had been. Eyes that little James also had, which Kelly now realized came from James Sr. “It’s so good to see you. Thank you for coming, and for bringing this handsome young man.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Amy,” Kelly replied, watching as James’ aunt knelt down for a hug. She knew Amy better than the others, since she had been a frequent visitor to TCU to see her big brother. Amy had chosen to go to college closer to home, but she loved the activity on the larger campus, and she and her girlfriends had often driven up on the weekends and stayed at Jamie’s apartment.
“He’s a beautiful boy,” Amy declared as James led the way to the table on the porch. “Definitely a mixture of both you and Jamie. He has the Matherson eyes, but your dark hair, and I think his nose is more you.” She turned and caught Kelly’s arm as the others moved toward the table, holding her back.
“I’m so sorry for everything, Kelly. I should have stood up to them.”
Kelly fought the tears that stung her eyes. “We all have regrets,” she said carefully.
“We’ll talk more later,” Amy promised, squeezing Kelly’s arm gently. “It’s nine years too late, but we’ll talk. Thanks again for coming. I’m going to go help Chad and Sarah carry out the food.”
As promised, the food was delicious and plentiful. James practically inhaled his beef barbeque sandwich, which he had chosen over the chicken, making his cattle raising grandpa smile broadly. Kelly sampled a little of both meats and enjoyed the homemade potato salad while James finished off a large portion of delicious macaroni and cheese, also homemade.
Thankfully the conversation wasn’t as awkward as Kelly had feared. Although James Sr. talked almost exclusively about the ranch, it was all in answer to little James’ many questions rather than the arrogant boasting that Kelly had remembered. When there were pauses, Chad or Amy brought up other topics, asking James how kindergarten was going and what his house in Virginia was like.
“I like our house but we don’t have a big yard,” James declared.
Kelly met Chad’s gaze and they both smiled, knowing exactly what was coming.
“So I can’t have a dog,” James continued predictably. “Not a big one anyway. Mom said maybe we could get a little inside dog, but I want a big dog. Uncle Chad said you don’t have any dogs here. How can you have a big ranch and not even have one dog?” His voice was a bit accusatory, causing his grandpa to look a little sheepish.
“We used to have one,” James Sr. admitted. “A big lab/retriever mix named Burt. He was your dad’s dog, actually. Burt died when your dad was at college, and we just never replaced him.”
“Why?” James wondered. “Didn’t you like having a dog?”
James Sr. shrugged. “I guess I did. I just never got around to finding a new one. It takes a special kind of dog to live on a ranch and behave, what with all the livestock around and vehicles coming and going all the time. If I remember right, it took your dad quite a while to train Burt not to chase cars down the lane.”
“Uncle Chad said a man comes her
e with a dog named Dodger. Do you think he’ll come today?”
“I’m sure he will,” his grandpa assured him.
“Will he bring Dodger?”
Maggie laughed and squeezed little James’ shoulder. “He rarely goes anywhere without that dog in the back of his truck, James. And I’m sure Dodger will be glad to meet a new friend.”
James was distracted by Sarah placing a brownie topped with ice cream and chocolate syrup before him. The brownie was just warm enough to begin melting the ice cream, and even though she’d already eaten a healthy meal, Kelly’s mouth watered as Sarah served everyone else their dessert.
Amy gave a groan of pleasure. “Since I got pregnant, I simply can’t get enough chocolate,” she admitted, spooning up a gooey bite. “I see that having a child hasn’t changed your metabolism, Kelly. You’re as slim as you were back in college.”
Kelly swallowed a chocolaty bite and shrugged a little self-consciously.
James spoke up, chocolate rimming his mouth. “Mom’s friend Natalie says it’s not fair that Mom can eat whatever she wants and not get fat. Doesn’t she, Mom?”
“Finish your dessert, James, and then we’ll go explore,” Kelly urged, changing the subject because she knew Amy had always struggled with her own weight as a teen, although it appeared she had since won the battle. Even at three months pregnant she looked great.
Chad pushed his empty dish away and rubbed his stomach. “If I don’t get moving soon I’m going to fall asleep. I don’t usually eat so much for lunch. You ready to go see the horses, James?”
“Yeah!” James said happily.
Maggie turned to Kelly, her expression a bit guarded. “I hope you don’t mind if James Sr. and I go upstairs to rest for a little while. There have been a few health issues and it’s become our routine to take a break after lunch. Amy will get you settled into your room, and then Chad will take James to the stables, if that’s what he wants to do.”
Kelly was thankful for the respite. Putting off “the talk” a little while longer wouldn’t hurt her feelings in the least.