by K. J. McPike
I sighed. “Well, Salaxia isn’t in danger. So there goes that excuse.”
“Are you looking for an excuse?”
“Maybe.” I couldn’t look him in the eye knowing that I was asking him for advice on how to do what I’d raked him over the coals for doing. “I just…I keep going back to the idea that if we weren’t meant to get her back, we wouldn’t have been given these abilities. Why else would we have them? Why would we be presented with the option?” The words kept spilling out, as if by saying enough of them, my conscience would suddenly pack up and leave. “I mean, I get that it’s basically transferring that pain onto another family, but maybe another timeline’s version of me is stronger than I am because I don’t think I can do this.”
“Hey.” Kai reached out to run a hand along my arm. “You don’t have to try and convince me, okay? I won’t judge you, no matter what you decide. I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love. It hurt even when I was only three and could barely grasp what it meant. If I’d had a way to undo it, I sure as hell would’ve wanted to.”
I kept my gaze on the creaky wood floor, the uneven plaster of the walls, anywhere but on Kai. “Thanks for not saying I told you so or anything,” I mumbled.
“Lali.” He almost sounded offended. “I know I’m not the best guy in the world, but I would never taunt someone when they’re hurting.”
“That’s just it,” I huffed. “I’m tired of hurting. So tired that I’m teetering on the edge of becoming a horrible person.”
“You’re not a horrible person for wanting your sister back.” That time, he might have intended the double meaning. And I knew I deserved it.
“I get that now,” I admitted. Kai stared at me unblinking, and I quickly added, “I’m not saying it’s okay. But I understand why you did what you did.”
He didn’t break eye contact. “Thank you. I’ve been needing to hear you say that for a long time.”
Something seemed to shift in the air between us. While the stubborn part of me insisted it was better to hold a grudge and keep my distance, the other part of me knew I was too drained to hang on to another negative emotion.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Ulyxses called out, carrying a stack of clothes draped over his arms. He stepped up beside me and dropped everything into the cart. One glance between Kai and me, and his face fell. “Oh, no. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I hadn’t forgotten our conversation about allowing myself to admit I was hurting, but I couldn’t let him or the others know I was doubting our decision yet. If I wanted to broach the subject again, I had to be absolutely sure. And I had to be sure we could live with the decision we made. Even if I could forgive Kai, I needed to know I could forgive myself.
Lying in the darkness, I inhaled slowly and blew the air out in a long, quiet puff from my bottom lip. It carried just enough force to scatter my bangs out of my eyes. Two minutes ago, I’d been seconds away from barging into the bunk room, waking my siblings, and telling them that we needed to take a vote. Once and for all, did we take Salaxia from another timeline or not?
I knew we couldn’t do it right away—not when doing so would mean we were subjecting her to this state of limbo while we waited for Sariah to come into the picture. Once we were in our original timeline, we could go back to right before the attack and get our sister.
But if we did, we would have to redo this whole process. We’d have to start over and explain everything to Mom in hopes of convincing her to help us again. There was no telling how things could go differently if we brought Salaxia with us, so we couldn’t be sure things would go how we wanted.
Then again, maybe we could come back in time and go straight to Sariah. After she took us to our proper timeline, Kai would know what she looked like. Maybe if we came to the past again, he could take us right to her and skip the waiting around part.
Or we could ask Sariah to pull Salaxia. If she had already taken Trace from his timeline, maybe she would help us do the same with our sister. The way Delta described Sariah’s power, it would be easy for her to go into our old timeline right before the attack and bring Salaxia to us.
That was, if she didn’t denounce the whole thing. I couldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to steal someone from her proper time. But if she refused, maybe that was the universe’s way of saying that we had to live with what happened.
I sighed again, shifting under the blanket.
“Hey.” Kai’s voice startled me, and I sat up facing his side of the couch.
“I thought you were asleep,” I whispered.
“Nah. I’m not real big on sleeping here.”
I realized what he meant, and my heart clenched. If we were at the site of a major trauma for me, I probably wouldn’t want to sleep either.
He sat up, too, the nightlight bathing half of his face in a green glow. “I know you’re beating yourself up over there. I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head.”
I picked at a loose thread on the sofa. “Maybe.”
“Can I try and take your mind off things for a while? Sometimes answers come to you when you’re not trying so hard to find them.”
“Take my mind off things how?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I hesitated.
“Two minutes,” he said. “If you decide you wanna come back, no problem.”
I couldn’t deny my curiosity. And it would be nice to take a break from thinking for a while.
“Okay,” I conceded, kicking off my blanket. I stood up and remembered I was in sweats. “All my clothes are in the bedroom.”
“Doesn’t matter. We’re not trying to impress anyone. Just grab your shoes.” He sounded eager, which only made me wonder even more what he was planning.
Navigating to my Converse by way of the nightlight, I tugged them over my wool socks as Kai slipped on his ever-present flip-flops. I stood up, anticipation surging through me as I took his outstretched hand. His skin was warm and, as much as I hadn’t wanted to admit it, comforting. We’d been a team just a few weeks ago, and he’d had a way of calming me down. A small piece of me missed that.
He laced his fingers through mine and squeezed. “Keep your eyes closed until I say to open them.”
A moment later, I felt the familiar drop in my stomach. The low hum of voices registered as soon as I felt solid ground under my feet again. I gasped, realizing some of them were speaking Spanish and French.
“Kai,” I hissed, though I kept my eyes closed. “Where are we?”
“You’ll see in a minute. No peeking.” Taking both my hands, he gave me a gentle tug. “Okay, we’re gonna go up some stairs.”
He eased me forward, guiding me up one step at a time. My brain tossed out theories about where we were, but none of them resonated with the sounds around me.
We reached the top of the stairs, and I sensed a shift in light, like we’d just stepped out from under an awning and into the sun. The other voices sounded closer when we finally stopped.
“Okay.” Kai spun me around by the shoulders. “Open your eyes.”
I did, and it took me an extra beat to register that I was standing below a painting that was taller than me. Squinting up at the work, I immediately recognized the boxy window frame and woman looking out at the sea. I gasped, turning to gape at Kai. He leaned against the railing behind me, grinning as my eyes snapped between him and the portrait twice more.
“Gala Contemplating the Mediterranean Sea which at Twenty Meters becomes a Portrait of Abraham Lincoln,” he said softly. It was one of my favorites by Dalí. “You said you’d give anything to see it in person one day.” His smile grew at my confused expression. “The night at the bowling alley, when we went back to your room to grab your clothes.”
I blinked at him. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“Of course I remember. The minute you said it, I planned to bring you to here.”
The handful of people around us seemed to fall away as I took in the sincerity of h
is expression. The next thing I knew, I threw myself into hugging him. He tensed at first, and I knew I’d taken us both by surprise.
“Thank you,” I whispered, not letting go.
He melted into the embrace, his heart beat quickening against my cheek. “You’re welcome.”
Keeping my head against his chest, I turned back to the painting. Though I’d seen it countless times, I marveled at the detail of the work. The shape of the woman’s figure was perfect, every line exact against a blockish opening in the wall that overlooked an orange sky and soft blue water. Studying it up close made it hard to believe this same image viewed from afar looked like a portrait of Abraham Lincoln.
I didn’t know how long we stood in silence before I pulled back and peeked up at Kai. “Do you want to see it in Lincoln form?”
He nodded and I grabbed his hand, tugging him toward the winding staircase and down to the main level. We moved through the massive grand room, past a wall-sized painting that depicted a faceless human form with a doorway cut through his chest. Once we’d reached the far end of the space, I turned around to face the direction we’d come from and fixed my eyes on the same piece I’d just seen up close. From back here, the boxy shapes formed a pixelated portrait of Abraham Lincoln’s face and shoulders.
“Isn’t that amazing?” I gushed.
“It is,” Kai said. “Definitely amazing how high your voice can get.”
I swatted him on the arm, but I couldn’t stop my mouth from quirking up.
Kai feigned shock. “Wow, almost got a laugh. I was beginning to think I’d lost my touch.”
“Oh, please. Bianca laughs at everything you say.”
“No she d—” His eyes widened. “Wait, are you jealous?”
My face caught fire, and I silently cursed myself for letting that slip. “Of course not.”
It was too late; Kai’s grin practically split his face.
“I’m not,” I insisted, but my denial only seemed to add to his amusement. I rolled my eyes. “Ugh, shut up. Let’s check out the rest of the museum.”
“Whatever you say,” he replied. But his obnoxious smile wouldn’t go away.
We had been wandering through the maze-like museum for nearly two hours when Kai said, “We should get going soon. It’s nearly four in the morning back in California.”
I sighed, looking around at the brightly lit plaza in the heart of the building. Posed mannequins decorated each of the window-like openings in the stone walls surrounding us, lush green plants growing between them. Above us, the sun shone down from a clear blue sky. I didn’t want to go back to reality yet—if ever. But we would need to get some sleep, and everyone at The Hill would be awake in a couple of hours.
“Okay,” I muttered, looking around one last time.
“If you want, I can sneak you out more often.” Kai’s emerald eyes twinkled mischievously. “I always knew you had a rebel in there somewhere.”
“Darn. I thought I hid it so well.”
“You can’t hide it from me.”
I pressed my lips together. I knew he’d meant it as a joke, but I couldn’t help thinking about what else I’d failed to hide from him. Like the fact that jealousy reared its ugly head whenever Bianca flirted with him. Or the fact that no matter how hard I tried to suppress it, I cared about him.
“Well, let’s head out,” Kai said, breaking me out of my thoughts. “We just have to find an empty stairwell.” Seeming to catch onto the suggestive undertone of his words, he stammered, “I-I mean so we can leave. Not so—” He huffed, and it was my turn to laugh at seeing him frazzled.
“I know what you meant,” I assured him.
Giving me a grateful look, he started toward the door leading back into the main room. I followed, and it wasn’t long before we managed to step out of sight. Kai projected us back to The Hill’s common area, where everything was still quiet and dark, save for the green glow over the room.
“Thank you,” I whispered, still clasping his hand. “That was amazing.”
“You’re welcome. It’s nice to make you happy for once.” He reached up to slide a strand of hair behind my ear, and my heart fluttered. This time, I didn’t try to deny it. I didn’t have the energy to fight it anymore. I was so tired of trying to be strong. I just wanted to let myself feel something besides guilt and worry and responsibility.
Our eyes locked, and before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him to me, and pressed my lips to his. I heard his sharp intake of breath as his mouth moved against mine, hungry and urgent.
But too soon, he pulled away.
“Lali…” He held my arms gently, his breathing labored. “You’re vulnerable right now. I don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret.”
All I could do was stare at him, my heart hammering against my chest. Had that really just happened?
“Don’t think I don’t want to,” he said quickly. “Kiss you, I mean. I do. I really, really do. But just when you’re a little more clear-headed. I already screwed things up with you once, and I don’t wanna risk doing it again.”
I didn’t know whether to be insulted or touched.
He slid his hands down my arms until he clasped my hands and brought them to his lips. “Once life settles down again and we get back to our timeline, we can figure things out between us.”
I knew he was right. That was the smart thing to do. With every other aspect of my life in limbo, now wasn’t the time to blur lines between us. Deciding where I stood with him was just something else I’d have to sort out once we found Sariah.
Chapter 19
Savior
“Nerts!” Macy slammed her last card onto one of the many messy piles on the table and grinned from ear to ear. I sighed, sharing a defeated glance with Ulyxses. This was the fifth time in a row Macy had gotten rid of her cards first. No one else even came close.
Oxanna leaned her chair back against the seascape painted on the wall behind her and stared at her collection of unplayed cards. “I swear she’s cheating somehow.”
“I second that,” Dixon said, putting both elbows on the table and resting his chin in the space between his palms. “She’s definitely cheating.”
Macy laughed. “I promise I’m not. I’ve just been playing this game since I was little. It’s like second nature.” Tossing her blonde ponytail over her shoulder, she started dividing up the cards into separate decks.
“Do we really need to count points?” Ulyxses asked. “We all know she won. Again.”
Bianca let out a giggle from where she sat flipping through a magazine on the sofa. She had long since given up playing Nerts against Macy. Apparently, she preferred to laugh as we lost instead. And we always lost in that game, even after a week and a half of spending most of our free time playing it.
“Let’s do something else.” Dixon looked over to where Kala, Kai, Truman, and Caleb sat bunched together on the floor in front of the TV, the four of them taking turns on some racing video game called F-Zero. Kala had picked up the game quickly, but even after playing every day for the last week, she still leaned to the side whenever her spaceship-looking vehicle turned.
“No way,” Oxanna said, drawing my attention back to the table. “I’m not quitting until I beat Macy.”
“Then I guess we’re going to be here a while,” Ulyxses muttered. Macy snickered, and I shared her smile. She’d quickly become like another sister to us. Though I was still eager to get back to the correct timeline, having the other semmies as a surrogate family helped ease some of the pain of missing my parents and my old life.
Well, with the exception of Elliot. He still made a point to show his distaste for me, but thankfully he’d laid off the harassing thoughts. I wasn’t sure if he had asked Paris about telling us to keep our origin a secret, or if he’d just decided to drop it. Regardless, he hadn’t warmed up to me—or anyone else I’d come here with, for that matter—in the least.
Right now, he and Amber-Ann were at the store
with Paris, just another of the excuses Elliot always managed to find to avoid spending time with us. Not that I minded. I had enough to worry about without avoiding his accusing eyes. And as much as I appreciated staying at The Hill, I still hoped we would be leaving soon. Not knowing what was going to happen with Sariah was killing me.
While I saw no reason she wouldn’t agree to help us get to our proper timeline, I had my doubts about her willingness to pull our baby sister from another. Knowing Sariah would be a major factor in the decision of what to do about Salaxia helped push the moral dilemma to the back of my mind, but the uncertainty was almost worse. I considered Oxanna’s idea of trying to find a timeline where our sister was in danger so there were no questionable ethics involved, but how likely was it that we could pull that off?
“Okay.” Macy passed out the stacks of cards to the rest of us. “Start counting your points.”
At that moment, Kole burst into the room in a flash of silver. I leapt to my feet, and my siblings jumped up beside me. Kole hadn’t come to visit since the first time Mom came by to check on us. If he was here, it had to be important.
“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to find the answer in his transparent face.
“They have taken Trace and Sariah in for questioning.” That one sentence squeezed the air out of my lungs. It was finally time. “I am not sure if Xiomara knows yet,” he said, “or how much longer they will keep Sariah and Trace where they are.”
“Then we need to go now.” Kai rushed over with Kala right behind him. “If Sariah time hops, we’re screwed.”
“She will not be able to project to another time,” Kole assured us. “She and Trace are inside a blocked room waiting for Arlo to question them. But you should still hurry; there is no telling whether he will decide to let them live.”