‘I told Rigby I was working on you.’
‘Geez, Logan!’
‘I think he’s hoping for an announcement this weekend.’
Most uncharacteristically, she delivered another great thump to his arm.
‘You pack a mean punch, lady!’
‘You’d better believe it.’ She raised her fist again and Logan captured it neatly in his palm. A split second later, he’d backed her against a wall with his body, framed her face in his hands and was kissing her breathless.
Oh damn! He knew exactly how to get through all her defensive barriers. Just the touch of his lips against hers and her defences crumbled. All the fight had gone out of her by the time he raised his head, broke their kiss and then rested his forehead against hers.
‘Honey, your grandfather told me that the odds aren’t great that he’s going to survive his bowel surgery next week.’
Sophie squeezed her eyelids shut tight, unable to meet the sympathy in Logan’s expression. She tried hard to summon some shutters, unwilling to allow him to see the pain that must be in her eyes. She knew her grandfather’s prognosis wasn’t great. Rigby had confided in his housekeeper, Daphne, and Daphne had told her. The cancer was advanced because the stubborn man had ignored the early warning signs and refused to seek medical attention.
Sophie gritted her teeth together as emotions welled within her. Anger. Frustration. Helplessness. Despair. She smothered down the ‘if only’ thoughts and tried to cast away the doom and think positively. Opening her eyes, she looked straight into Logan’s. ‘Grandfather’s a stubborn man, a born fighter. As long as he has the will to live, he can summon up some reserve and he’ll pull through. He’s been winning against the odds all his life.’
Logan hugged her tight. ‘I like him. I’d like to think you’re right.’
‘I am. He’s still got too much to live for to give up now.’
‘He likes me, Sophie. We respect each other. It would make him happy if we announced our engagement this weekend.’
A lump of emotion swelled in her throat. It was so huge and her throat muscles so tight, she thought she’d choke on it.
‘It might even give him that something extra to live for,’ he coaxed close to her ear.
Logan was very good at emotional coercion, but she was too upset thinking about her grandfather to berate her lover for not fighting fair. She knew a pain in the area of her heart, like it was a giant ball of dough being squeezed then rolled out flat.
Her voice was squeaky as she tried to ignore the question of their engagement and forced out, ‘Is Grandfather selling you the mine?’
‘He is.’
Sophie felt her lips twist and her heart plummet. He may not be dating her for her money, but was Logan using his relationship with her to get what he wanted out of her grandfather?
Logan’s brows drew closer together and she watched him straighten. ‘Don’t even think it, Sophie. I told you, this deal was offered to me previously. This has nothing to do with you and me.’
Taken aback by the ease at which he read her thoughts, she struck out. ‘No special family discount on the sale?’ Instantly, she regretted her bitter accusation.
‘You don’t know your grandfather very well if you think for a minute he’d lose money on a deal. Even thinking he may not see out the month, your grandfather’s still every bit the ruthless businessman. He still gets a kick out of driving a very hard bargain and increasing his wealth.’
It was true.
Reaching out, she placed her hand on the area of his arm she’d thumped earlier. ‘I’m sorry.’ They both knew she wasn’t talking about the pummelling she’d given him. ‘That was a pretty bitchy comment.’
He placed one hand over hers and reached out with the other to brush a loose tendril of hair off her cheek. ‘When you’re carrying around emotional scars that haven’t healed, it’s easy to strike out. Your scars aren’t far from the surface and you have to move past them. Find your happiness with me, Sophie, and you’ll lose that doubt you carry about everyone’s motivations. You’ll stop believing that everyone around you has ulterior motives for wanting to get close to you. You’ll see yourself as I do. Even after just a couple of days, I know that merely being close to you brings a rich reward that’s more valuable than tangible wealth.’
Gosh! This, from a man who didn’t believe in love?
Tears stung her eyes and Logan’s face swam in her vision. This degree of empathy and such romantic words and caring from him surely turned his whole statement about not doing love on its head. Wasn’t the ability to feel all this just a step away from love?
But when she thought about it, he was only offering a temporary relationship and he had an ulterior motive too. Sure, he might find her attractive and he didn’t want her for her money, but he’d still benefit from the arrangement. She mustn’t forget this was about securing custody of his goddaughter. That was why he was pushing so hard for marriage.
Be fair. He likes you and he desires you. Isn’t that more than you’ve ever been offered before? It would make your grandfather so happy and you’d have short-term benefits.
‘When’s the court case for Charlotte?’ she asked.
He frowned at her abrupt change of subject. ‘Just under two weeks away.’
‘And my grandfather has his operation next week.’ She took a deep breath in, held it, then exhaled slowly. ‘Okay, Logan. Let’s help each other. Let’s announce our engagement at Grandfather’s birthday party.’ There was an instant flare of satisfaction in his eyes. ‘I’m still not prepared to go through with actual marriage, but maybe a fake engagement will give us both what we want.’
Being drawn against his chest and wrapped up in his embrace was like coming home. This was her favourite place in the world. While a huge part of her wished this were the real deal, she knew it had to come to an end, but at least Logan’s presence in her life would continue for the foreseeable future. She might tell herself she was doing this for her grandfather’s sake, but she knew that by prolonging her relationship with Logan she was making herself happy at the same time.
‘Agreed,’ Logan said as he kissed her temple. ‘I want more from you and I won’t pretend I don’t, but it’s a start.’
‘Chipping away at my defensive layers?’ she queried, part of her feeling apprehensive now about ceding even this small amount of ground to him.
‘You’ve read my mind,’ he told her with a laugh. Then, plucking at a bit of fabric from her blouse, he said, ‘I like what’s under the layers.’
Despite herself, she found her lips twitching into a smile. ‘Hm.’
‘Now, my gorgeous fiancée-to-be, how about that Italian restaurant?’
Chapter 9
‘Do you mind if we take a slight detour before I drop you home?’ Logan asked Sophie when they were almost back to her apartment after their dinner.
‘Not really. Where to?’
‘It’s a surprise.’
She tilted her head to one side. ‘You’ve surprised me once tonight already with your announcement that you’d met with Grandfather today. Am I going to like this surprise?’
‘Do you think you could just put your trust in me and hand over control?’ He rolled his eyes.
‘I’ve handed you more control over me than I’ve ever handed anyone in my adult life,’ she told him indignantly. ‘And I’ve done it in record speed.’
He grinned. ‘You’ve enjoyed every second of it.’
She threw her hands up in a gesture of defeat. ‘Okay, I’m in your hands. Control away.’
‘Oh baby, don’t tempt me!’ He only just managed to keep his mind on the traffic, especially as she reached over and placed her hand on his thigh.
‘This stop-off is very close to home?’ she asked as they drove toward Wolseley Road, where her apartment was situated.
‘Very close.’
A couple of streets away, he turned into a driveway. The home wasn’t in view as it was surrounded by high sandsto
ne walls, but there was a sold sticker across the real estate banner.
‘In fact, we’re almost going to be neighbours,’ he told her as he pressed a remote control switch and activated the electronic gates.
‘Did you buy this place?’
‘Yep.’ Once the gates were open, he drove through and the magnificent sandstone home came into view. ‘The views are spectacular. Like your apartment, it overlooks the northeast aspect of Sydney Harbour and Shark Island. But I wanted a home for Charlotte, rather than an apartment.’
‘It’s beautiful, Logan!’ He was pleased by the enthusiasm in her voice. ‘It’s pretty huge though, for you and Charlotte.’
He was counting on it not just being Charlotte and him living here. ‘Six bedrooms, all with en suites, a self-contained live-in quarters for Charlotte’s nanny…Come on. Rather than talk about it, let me show you.’ He got out of the car and went around to her door. ‘The real estate agent brought me the keys today when I was signing off on the office block.’ He’d packed a lot into a day that was supposed to have been part of his vacation.
Logan showed her through the home, which had recently been modernised, but retained enough of its original old-word charm to make it a home rather than a show house. The formal and informal living and dining spaces were extensive. Sophie loved the magnificent kitchen with butler’s pantry and walk-in cool room.
‘These stairs lead to the cellar.’
‘Wow, this is an entertainer’s paradise,’ she exclaimed. ‘What a dream kitchen.’
‘Do you like to cook?’
‘I love to cook.’ As soon as the words were out, she stilled and tilted her head at him. ‘Are you sharing this with me or giving me an orientation and using it as another temptation toward marriage?’
‘Another temptation,’ he admitted. ‘Notice how you said another temptation and not just a temptation? I’m glad you’re tempted.’ He stepped closer to her. ‘I can picture you here, Sophie. I can hear your laughter ringing through the place.’
‘Logan Jackson, for a man who professes not to do love, you’re being very…’ She trailed off, as if she were suddenly embarrassed. Logan pinned her with his gaze and raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to elaborate. ‘I don’t know. You’re dreaming. You’re…romantic.’
‘You bring out feelings in me that are more intense than any I’ve known for another woman.’
‘Whoa! How can I resist you when you make statements like that? But how can you make those statements when you don’t love me? These intense feelings, Logan, do they have a name?’ she pressed.
The Adam’s apple in his throat worked up and down. ‘Respect. Trust. Desire. You know how I feel about you. My feelings for you are a mix of passion and friendship, and they’re growing stronger the more time we spend together.’
‘Yeah.’ Her voice was quiet and she was looking at him in an odd way. ‘You keep claiming you don’t do love and that’s sounding a lot like sentiments of love to me.’ She continued to look at him and he saw she was holding her breath.
‘No.’ Love was about losing control and making yourself vulnerable. Love was about becoming dependent on another person to feel good about yourself and needing that person to define who you were. He would never succumb to love.
Turning away from him, she ran a hand absently over the smooth granite bench top. ‘Well, we’re going to be neighbours so maybe I’ll come and use this magnificent kitchen and cook for you some time.’
‘So this dream kitchen hasn’t done the trick?’ He copied her light tone. ‘Maybe you could be swayed by the championship-sized tennis court, the swimming pool, and the immaculate grounds?’ He moved closer, placed his hands at her waist, and kissed the curve of her neck. His voice deepened as he said, ‘Or…maybe I should take you straight up to the master bedroom for some sensual persuasion?’
A shiver of longing passed through her and she turned back toward him with a flirtatious smile. ‘Sensual persuasion sounds good, but I’ll tell you now, it takes an awful lot to persuade me.’
He felt himself getting hard. ‘I wish you’d trust me, gorgeous.’
She shrugged. ‘Well, we all have our crosses to bear. You don’t do love. I don’t do trust easily.’
‘You don’t trust easily because that bastard you were engaged to broke your heart. I understand how much that hurts because I was betrayed in exactly the same way.’
‘What? Someone hooked up with you for your money then slept with someone else?’ she scoffed. ‘Unlikely. No woman in her right mind would leave your bed to go to someone else’s.’
He laughed. For the very first time while he was thinking back to Celine’s betrayal, he was actually laughing. There was no pain gripping his chest, no sudden pressure in the blood vessels at his temples. Sophie was making him laugh about it.
‘What’s so funny?’
God, this woman was good for him. ‘You are. Sweetheart, you told me you’d put a dent in my ego, but saying things like that sure isn’t the way to go about doing it!’
‘Hm.’ She pursed her lips. ‘My mistake.’ She toyed with the buttons on his shirt. ‘You know what happened to me. Tell me about what happened to you.’
Could he? The subject had always made him too angry to discuss. That he hadn’t seen through Celine’s shallow, money-grabbing nature made him feel foolish. The way his ego had been stroked by her pretence that he was the best thing on the planet made him feel like a first-class idiot. It wasn’t something he wanted to admit to. Yet Sophie had opened up about her past hurts to him. He couldn’t expect her to marry him if he couldn’t own up to the mistakes of his past.
‘I thought I loved Celine. One day, I thought she was at work. I left work in the middle of the day, planning on going to the apartment we shared to set the scene for a romantic proposal of marriage. When I got there I discovered that she’d left work early as well, but not for the same reasons. I found her in our bed with someone else.’
‘No way! What a bitch! How could she do that to you?’ Sophie was fairly bristling with indignation on his behalf and he adored her for it. ‘I understand exactly how you feel because that’s what happened to me, too. I paid a surprise visit to the guy I was secretly engaged to and found him in bed with a stable hand.’
‘He was an idiot!’
‘The world’s full of them.’ She smiled. Smoothing her hands over his chest, she frowned. ‘So Celine was responsible for your aversion to commitment? She’s the reason you never thought you’d marry?’
‘Partly. My father had been hoodwinked by countless women. I lost count of the number of times he married. He was a total sucker for a pretty face, and the women saw it a mile off. They hooked him in and in some cases they’d barely danced the bridal waltz before they were signing divorce papers. Worse was seeing how dependent he was upon a relationship with a woman to feel like he was worth something. I swore I’d never leave myself vulnerable to pain, and that I’d never end up in the divorce courts like my father. I also swore I’d never be dependent upon someone to feel good about myself.’
‘That need your father had was unhealthy. It must surely have come from low self-esteem.’
‘Maybe. He sure as hell didn’t need Melissa or me in his life. All he wanted was a trophy wife. He collected one trophy after another.’
‘And you and Celine?’
‘Somehow Celine got under my guard.’ His arms around her waist, he lowered his hands so they traced over the beautiful roundness of her buttocks.
‘Do you still have feelings for her?’
‘Other than despising her? No.’
‘And you’ve never been seriously involved with anyone else?’
‘No. After Celine, I was determined to keep my relationships impersonal.’
‘Listen to you!’ She hit her palms against his chest. ‘The words relationships and impersonal simply don’t belong together!’
‘Too often I’ve met women with dollar-signs in their eyes.’
‘Often,
but surely not always?’
He frowned. ‘I don’t want to be taken advantage of again. My judgement was sorely lacking when it came to Celine. I took her completely at face value when all along it was my wealth and social status she craved, just like the long procession of women who were my step-mothers.’
She flicked a nail over his nipple. ‘I’m quite certain your money wasn’t the only thing Celine or any of the others craved.’
‘Temptress.’ His hands splayed over her buttocks and urged her into closer contact with the hardness of his pelvis.
‘I’m beginning to understand where you’re coming from,’ she said.
‘Whoa. No psychoanalysis please, and definitely no pity.’
‘Your mother left your father but worse, she left you. That must’ve been difficult to deal with,’ Sophie said.
Logan closed his eyes in an effort to shut out the painful memories that were as clear in his mind as if the events had taken place yesterday. He wasn’t successful.
Logan had raced in from the garden, carrying a ladybird on his arm to show his mother. ‘Mummy, I’ve found something for you! You can wear it on your top like a brooch!’
She’d barely spared him a glance. Then, he’d noticed the two suitcases packed against the wall and the ladybird had been forgotten. ‘Mummy, are we going on a holiday?’
‘You’re not going anywhere, kid.’
He’d been confused. ‘What are you doing with those bags?’
‘I’m going far away to a place I deserve to be.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘I just told you, stupid, you’re not going anywhere. You get to stay here with your wonderful father.’
‘You’re not taking Daddy and me with you?’
‘What the hell would I want you two along for — especially a whinging, whining child like you, Logan? God, I almost wish I’d never had you.’ She’d grabbed the handle of one of the suitcases and started wheeling it toward the door. ‘But, you served a purpose and I’ve regained my figure.’
Pain had gripped him. She wished she’d never had him? Something in him had always known that, but to hear it voiced…‘When are you coming back?’
Roses For Sophie Page 11