by Amy Green
“You play the game simply by being alive, Silas. After all, we all die, some sooner than others. Without God, what happens after death? Are you content to step into a black void of nothingness, to fade out of existence?”
“Give it a rest, Parvel,” was all Rae said, waving him off. “You won’t convert me, not with all your sermons. You should have become a priest instead of joining the Guard.”
Interesting. Jesse had always been taught that religion was for the weak, the old, and children who did not know any better. Yet, here is a Youth Guard member, the strongest and bravest in the land, who believes in God.
“You must leave,” Parvel said, “but not alone.” His next words froze Jesse to the floor. “Take Jesse.”
Chapter 6
Jesse decided his hearing must have failed him, or that he had gone crazy, or that he was back at the inn, dreaming in his bed. Those were the only reasonable explanations for Parvel’s words.
“Parvel, are you thinking clearly?” Silas asked in disbelief. “He was not trained for this like we were.”
Rae was not quite so kind. “He’s small, weak, and crippled,” she pointed out. “He would die before we even began the mission. Your mind must have been affected by this fever of yours, Parvel.”
She’s right, Jesse knew, his heart sinking. They’re both right. Anyone could see why he was not fit for the Guard.
So he was surprised when Parvel spoke up again. “Physical strength alone does not qualify a person to join the Youth Guard,” Parvel said. “There are other traits that are much more important—courage, determination, intelligence. He has those traits.”
Rae just snorted, but Silas nodded thoughtfully. “That may be so,” he said. “But the fact remains: he is not of the Guard.”
“Perhaps he should have been.”
“But he is not,” Rae said forcefully. “And we are sworn never to reveal our mission. Only the king and the captain of the Patrol know of it.”
“As captain of this squad, I have the right to make any decision I wish, if I believe it is for the good of the group.”
“Oh,” Rae said bitterly, “so now you are going to assert your authority over us.”
“No.” Parvel sighed heavily. “I will not. We will vote.”
Jesse, still listening, did not know what to do. On one hand, everything in him leaped at the chance to join the Guard. It was all he had ever dreamed of. But what if I slow them down or keep them from accomplishing their mission?
“Silas and I can do it on our own,” Rae insisted.
“There are some things you cannot do on your own,” Parvel said forcefully.
Jesse wondered if that was really true. Rae and Silas had proven to be among the most able young people in the kingdom. They certainly did not need him.
“This is what we trained for,” Rae continued. “It will be a loss not to have you with us, of course, but we’ll come back for you after we have successfully completed the mission.”
“Rae,” Parvel said solemnly, “there is a reason that four is the minimum for squads. Even three is inadequate for the danger you will face. You would be knowingly sabotaging your chances of success by continuing with any less. You do not understand the danger of these missions.”
“And you do?” Rae said it like a challenge, her arms crossed in defiance.
“Yes,” Parvel said, but it was more like an anguished cry than an answer. He slumped back down on the straw, like he had used all of his strength in that one word. “Yes, I do.”
There was silence for a moment. Rae clearly had no further objections.
“The vote, then,” Silas said. “We know where you stand, Parvel.” He sighed. “And, although it goes against all of the common sense I have, I will stand with my captain. Jesse will come with us.”
Frozen to the ground, Jesse stared disbelievingly at him through a crack in the curtain. He had not expected the tall, stoic archer to side with him. No, he corrected himself. He is siding with Parvel, out of a sense of duty. He doesn’t really believe that I can do it.
“I disagree, of course,” Rae said, her arms crossed in defiance, “but I suppose that doesn’t matter at all.”
“Very good,” Parvel said. “I can do little now except pray for your safety.”
Rae snorted. “Don’t waste your energy,” she said. “I decided long ago that either God doesn’t exist, or He’s deaf to the cries of good, hurting people.”
“You are wrong about that, Rae,” Parvel said quietly, “for it was when I was hurting the most that I cried out to God, and He answered me. Sometimes you have to come to the end of your own strength to hear God. You have to stop fighting.”
Jesse could see Rae stiffen. “I will never stop fighting. Never.”
“Then perhaps that is why you’ve never heard Him.” There was silence for a moment. Rae clearly had no more to say. Then Parvel rolled on his side, turning toward the kitchen. “You may come out, Jesse.”
Jesse felt his face flush, and was grateful that no one could see in the dark as he stepped into the room. Parvel knew that I was listening.
“This is very serious business, Jesse,” Parvel said, shifting to look at him. Jesse noticed that his words were beginning to slur together slightly. “It is great honor, but you must remember that few of the Youth Guard ever return.”
“Many of them die far from home, are slain in battle by the enemy, or become lost, stranded, or held captive in a foreign land,” Rae said, her voice betraying no emotion. “You will face death by starvation, assassins, drowning, bandits, and countless other dangers.”
“And you have not received the proper training,” Silas added.
“Chances are high that you won’t survive,” Rae said, stepping toward him. Jesse thought she was smiling, mocking him. “It would be no shame for you to refuse.”
I bet you want me to. Jesse’s head told him that Silas and Rae were right. He could die on the mission. He was not ready for that kind of danger. He should not go with them.
But something else, something deep inside him, disagreed. What’s the good of living like this? Staying with my aunt and uncle, doing the same chores every day, while people mock me behind my back for my crippled leg? This could be my only chance to prove myself.
“No,” Jesse said, shaking his head. “I will go with you.”
“Shouldn’t you ask your mother and father?” Jesse gritted his teeth at the scorn in Rae’s voice.
“My mother and father are dead,” he said. That was the easiest explanation. They didn’t need to know about the disappearance. They would ask too many questions—questions Jesse couldn’t answer. “I live with my aunt and uncle. I don’t think they’ll miss me if I go.”
“Except that your pig of an uncle will have to throw his table scraps to his dog instead of you,” Kayne grumbled from the darkness, barging back into the house.
“Kayne,” Jesse scolded, his face turning red, “don’t say that. They take care of me.” He couldn’t believe he was defending his aunt and uncle, but he didn’t want anyone’s pity.
“Funny story I’ll have to tell tomorrow when Tristan and Dara come knocking on my door,” Kayne said. “I was all asleep in my bed when I heard a ruckus outside. Patrol member had ahold of young Jesse, hollerin’ about him breakin’ curfew. Poor boy got hauled off before I could say a word. Who knows where they’ll take him? The prison in the capital maybe, or one of the king’s work gangs.”
Jesse slowly started to smile. “It might work.”
“Your friend can stay here, I suppose,” Kayne continued, “provided he doesn’t do any gripin’ and makes himself useful when he’s strong enough. I don’t approve of charity.”
“I will do anything I am able to do,” Parvel promised.
Silas walked over to Jesse and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You risked your life to save Parvel,�
�� he said quietly. “For that, I am willing to give you a chance. We leave as soon as the sun comes up.” He walked outside, to collect supplies, Jesse assumed. Rae joined him, after shooting Jesse another hateful look.
Head spinning, Jesse sat down on the floor beside Parvel. Me, a Youth Guard member.
Parvel grinned weakly and licked his dry lips. “Well, it appears we have a fourth squad member after all.”
One thought echoed over and over in Jesse’s mind: Do I really want to do this? He wasn’t entirely sure. But it’s too late. I can’t turn back now.
“I hope you were listening to what I said to Rae,” Parvel continued. “It was important.”
With great effort, Jesse held back a groan. Rae was right. Parvel should have become a priest. “Why would you say that?”
“Remember when I said you reminded me of someone?” Jesse nodded. Parvel stared straight at him. “That person was my brother.”
Jesse knew that the pain on Parvel’s face was from more than the poison. I wonder what happened to him? He was too afraid to actually ask Parvel the question.
“Listen to me, Jesse,” Parvel said, and though his voice was weak, his words were not. “My brother lived his life denying God, believing that he was good enough, strong enough and clever enough to save himself. Do not make the same mistake he did.”
“My father always said that we don’t need God around here. We take care of ourselves.”
“That’s what my brother said too,” Parvel said, turning away. “I wonder if I should even have asked you to join the squad. Now, more than ever, you are playing with death.”
“Parvel….” Jesse sighed, and his words came out in a tangled jumble. “Silas and Rae had to come and rescue me tonight. I don’t think they even want me. No one has ever expected anything out of me beyond feeding the chickens and washing tables. If I had gone to the muster, no one would have given me a second look. Besides….”
“Promise me, Jesse,” Parvel said. His hazel eyes were glassy. The fever is returning. Jesse took the cloth from his forehead and dipped it in new water. “Promise.”
Jesse replaced the cloth. “Promise what?”
“Never leave them,” Parvel said quietly, as if he didn’t want anyone to hear. “My brother only cared about himself. Justice. Maybe that’s what happened to him.”
He’s not making any sense, Jesse thought. “You need to rest, Parvel.”
“I wanted to go too, but you wouldn’t let me,” he muttered, forcing his eyes open a slit. “Justice...promise me.”
He’s fading fast, Jesse knew. He only hoped Kayne was right and that it was just another spell of weakness. But it could not be denied that with his pale face and shaking body, Parvel looked like he was dying.
“I promise,” Jesse said. But Parvel had already closed his eyes. Jesse jerked forward in alarm, then sat back. Parvel was still breathing.
Justice. Why is Parvel obsessed with justice? Maybe it was nothing but the fever, making Parvel’s words slip into nonsense, but regardless, Jesse had made a promise never to leave Rae and Silas behind. I’m more worried they’ll leave me.
The next hour was a flurry of activity. Silas hurried back to the inn to get the horses from Uncle Tristan’s stables, tethering them to a tree outside of Kayne’s shack. Jesse had no possessions to bring except a few supplies Kayne loaned him, so he was put in charge of attending to Parvel. Rae simply stood, glaring at Jesse at every opportunity. Kayne blustered around and tied more supplies into a tight bundle, including some of the black willow bark. “Just in case,” he said.
Every quarter of an hour, Jesse changed the cloth on Parvel’s forehead, as he murmured more strings of nonsense. Kayne had promised to keep him out of sight, but Jesse wondered how he could hide a raving invalid for a full month. When one citizen of Mir learned a piece of news, so did the whole village.
“We’ll be back, Parvel,” Jesse said quietly, standing from his post. “All of us.”
He could only hope he was speaking the truth.
Kayne hobbled over to Jesse, staring up at him, his gnarled face twisted into a serious expression. “You sure about this, boy? You really want to risk your life following two strangers into danger and near certain death?”
Kayne has an interesting way of putting things. Jesse sighed. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but….” His voice trailed off as he tried to explain his thoughts. “I have to do this. I’ve always dreamed of adventure, and I can’t stay here in Mir all my life. I need something more.”
Kayne just grunted. “Knew you’d say that. The trouble with you, boy—well, there’s a lot of troubles with you, but one of ’em is that you think with your heart instead of your head. It’ll get you nothin’ but a heap of trouble.”
“Maybe,” Jesse shot back, “but if I had thought with my head instead of my heart tonight, Parvel might be dead.”
Slowly, Kayne began to nod. “True enough. True enough. Well, you’re fifteen. Plenty old enough to make your own choices.” He shook a finger at Jesse. “I ought to stop you. Take you back to your aunt and uncle. That’d be the respon-sible thing.”
“I don’t think you could stop me.”
“Knew you’d say that too.” Kayne grinned briefly, and Jesse caught a glimpse of two rows of crooked teeth. “Stubborn as a knotty pine branch. I like that about you.” He jerked his head toward his bedroom. “Come with me.”
Jesse followed him, ducking through a low doorway. Kayne reached under his low bed. “I want you to have this,” he said gruffly. He handed Jesse an elaborately carved walking stick.
Jesse’s eyes widened as he stared at the upraised leaves and animals. In the dim light of the candle, he could see, though the designs were simple, each was unique and unmistakable.
“It’s not quite done,” Kayne added, almost apologetically, eyes glancing down to a blank portion near the bottom. “I was goin’ to give it to you on your sixteenth birthday this winter.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Jesse breathed. He set it on the ground and gripped it. A perfect fit.
“You’ll need it on your journey. It’s good, strong wood,” Kayne said, nodding at it. Then he looked up at Jesse. “And, come flood or famine, battle or brawl, whatever hardships it goes through, it won’t break. You can count on that.”
Jesse couldn’t look at him. “I don’t know if I can do this, Kayne. Silas is only letting me go along because of Parvel. Rae doesn’t want me at all. The Youth Guard never would have chosen me in the first place, and nothing has changed.”
Kayne just stood silently for a moment. Then he spoke. “Look at the staff. Every symbol has a purpose.” He pointed to the animals carved at different heights in the wood. “A river tortoise, always determined. The phoenix, the wisest of all the birds. A mink, fiercely loyal to its kind.”
Jesse ran his hand over the designs, but didn’t say anything.
“I chose those designs on purpose, you know,” Kayne said. “You think these old hands started making this staff a few moments ago, after those Guard members chose you?” He answered his own question. “No. I’ve been working on this for years, with you in mind.”
Kayne turned to leave the room. “Now, if you’re going to leave, you’d better get moving before your overbearing relatives break my door down lookin’ for you.”
With his left hand, Jesse gripped the walking stick and took a step. Kayne was right; it would bear the weight of his crippled leg and make travel on foot much easier.
“Come.” Jesse looked up to see Silas standing in the doorway. “It is dawn.”
Chapter 7
“Wasteland Road, Desolation Ravine, Way of Tears,” Silas read from the signpost at the foot of the mountains. “Cheery names you people from District One have,” he said dryly, looking at Jesse.
He shrugged, reigning in his horse—or rather, Kayne’s horse—behi
nd Silas. “Each one has a story. People in Mir, and the other villages near the mountains, love stories. It’s part of who we are.”
“A foolish waste of time,” Rae said, with an air of arrogant confidence that made Jesse wish she was lying sick at Kayne’s house instead of Parvel. Even her horse, a chestnut with a carefully groomed mane, held its head high.
Jesse’s horse, on the other hand, was a ragged beast who snorted dirt out of his nose every once in a while. Jesse called him Fleas.
They had left Mir behind as quickly as possible, never traveling on the main road. Jesse was glad they had not encountered any Patrol. Curfew officially ended when the sun rose, but it had only barely peaked above the horizon when they left.
Even now, the orange dawn showed no other travelers on the road, although Jesse knew it would soon be crowded with Festival visitors anxious to return home.
Silas fumbled around in his pack with one hand, holding tightly onto the reigns with the other. It was clear that before his training at the capital, he'd had little experience with horses. He pulled out a folded parchment—a map of the kingdom—and studied it carefully.
“Which way?” Rae prompted, shifting in her saddle. She glanced from side to side constantly, and Jesse could tell that she didn’t like being out in the open without any place to hide.
“Be patient,” Silas said. Although he didn’t raise his voice—he never seemed to raise it—Jesse could see a spark of irritation in his eyes. Especially on a horse, he towered over Jesse, and his lean frame showed plenty of muscle. He kept his quiver of arrows and longbow with him at all times, although Rae had pointed out that a sword was an easier weapon to take on a journey. Level-headed and cautious, Jesse decided.
Rae, on the other hand, seemed to have been chosen for her fiery personality and desire for action. Her black hair fell to her shoulders, and she wore a short tunic dress over leather trousers, a sword at her side. Jesse didn’t doubt that she knew how to use it.