“I love it! Thank you,” Sara said, wrapping her arms around Lexi and giving her a squeeze.
Their embrace was short-lived as Lexi began to wiggle out of Sara’s arms upon noticing a butterfly flutter by her head. “Look! A butterfly!” she called out before running off into the deep, bluegrass lawn. Lexi’s light blue eyelet sundress appeared to float as the wind rushed passed her while she chased after the monarch toward the edge of the plush, manicured yard.
With no sign of Eric or Jake, Sara flipped open the journal and continued to reflect on the events of the past year. She watched as Lexi skipped across the yard toward a large, wooden swing set, plopped into one of the sling swings, and began to pump her legs swinging higher with each pass. Lexi’s carefree play reminded Sara of the moments when she felt carefree and liberated in Jude’s presence. She thought about her mundane life before she brushed arms with Jude in the elevator, before the car accident, and before she and Eric rekindled their love. Sara suddenly became aware of the fundamental change in her perspective that had occurred as a result of the wonderfully tragic affair and events that followed. She realized that life couldn’t always be perfectly planned in a spreadsheet of black and white, and flawlessly executed alone. She realized that she’d lost time with her children, and perhaps also at the expense of her marriage, trying to live up to an impossible standard. And Sara understood that she no longer embodied the spirit of Martha Stewart and Dr. Spock as she once had. With her pen poised over a blank new page, Sara began to write a poem.
Time has a way of providing us with perspective. I see now that everything has happened just as it was supposed to…. to remind me that I do love... and to save my marriage from being ordinary.
Goodbye Martha
By Sara Preen
Goodbye, Martha, for our ways we must part.
The truth has poisoned my existence,
And weakened my trusting heart.
There is no refuge in lost time.
Apologize not, for you are only human.
Embrace your weeping heart that aches.
Ignore the cloud that’s loomin’.
Welcome to my soul, calm desire;
Soothe me from my own deceit and sorrow,
For as my soul mends alone,
I must take pleasure in tomorrow.
Crisis is the catalyst
for which I begin a new
and essential process of healing.
This I must work through.
Goodbye, Martha. You’re no longer the persona I aim to portray.
I’ve searched within myself and now
I will be present in today.
The story continues with In Search of Jude …
As a gifted psychologist, Jude Warner was used to dealing with relationship problems. But it wasn’t until he became involved with a married woman from his past that he experienced relationship problems of his own. After their steamy affair of seven months ended, Jude plummeted into severe depression. Now, feeling hopelessly alone, Jude wants nothing more than to understand what his purpose in life is if it was not to be with the only woman his heart would have.
Just when he thought life couldn't possibly get any worse, Jude becomes entangled with the dark secrets of a patient suffering from paranoid personality disorder, threatening to destroy any chance Jude may have left of finding happiness.
Acknowledgements
I wish to personally thank the following individuals without whose moral support, inspiration, and time this book would not have been written:
Tim, Alex, Emily and Aaron, for your patience and understanding as I work through the learning adventure that we call life, and this writing journey. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and encouraging me to see this project to its completion. You are all my rocks and I love you.
Laura L., for the countless hours that you selflessly gave to me as chief editor of this story. I truly can’t thank you enough for your love, patience, time and knowledge.
I believe that people are often brought together at the most appropriate of times in life. Lisa P., you entered my life when this story was ready to be fully written. Thank you for your wisdom as a mentor, and your strength and kindness as a friend. I don’t even have to tell you how much your guidance has meant to me… like Jude, I think you just know.
I would be remiss if I did not thank Dr. David S. for his expertise in psychology, which helped me with both the exploration of myself as an author, and the development of characters in this story. Thank you for your moral support, editorial assistance, and friendship.
My writing journey began more than six years before the completion of this book. Somewhere amid the early days of its inception, I offered the first words of this story to the talented Maureen L. With her kind-hearted wisdom, she told me to go back and re-write the entirety of what I’d written from a different point of view. It was a critical piece of advice for which I am forever grateful.
Thank you, Scott L., for your expertise and assistance with elements of the cover design for this book.
Thank you, Mom and Dad for all of your love and support throughout the years.
To all of my beta readers including Tara P., Tina C., Lizzie S., Jaime R., Kay K., Megan S. and Amanda - Thank you for your honest and immeasurably valuable feedback.
And lastly, a big “fuck you” to cancer, and your misguided children. You have made life interesting, to say the least. But without you, this novel would never have come to light.
About the Author
Time has a way of providing us with perspective on the very threads of life that define who we are as individuals. It was a complex web of these threads of life, and her experiences as a friend, daughter, sister, wife, and mother that inspired M.L. Carrington to write her first novel, What Sara Said.
In her writing, M.L. draws from her background in health care, having worked as a physical therapy assistant for more than ten years before exploring a career in marketing and communications. When not writing, this author enjoys flameworking with her husband in their home glass studio, sailing and hiking with her family, baking, and home decorating.
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