by Angel Lawson
I’d been afraid to ask. When none of them appeared at our door I knew it couldn’t be good. “Dammit. It’s been six months!”
“I know.”
That information churns the anger again. I hate this. I hate this life. Do I mourn these friends or do I spool out a fantasy that they’re alive and happy somewhere? Again, the disconnect from the real world sucks, and I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. Thinking about Walker sends me crashing, but one moment later I’m standing in my father’s doorway and my emotions flip again.
The simple sight of him sitting at his desk, sharing with my sister whatever project he’s working on, brings a flood of pain I can barely withstand. Jane looks like hell, the loss of Avi’s life showing in her red eyes and exhausted face. I reach for Wyatt’s hand for support. His fingers wrap tight with mine.
My father and Jane break from their intense conversation, spotting us in the hall. Jane smiles before looking back at the paper on the desk.
“Alexandra,” he says, nodding at Wyatt.
The Ramsey’s aren’t known for their emotional breakdowns, so I’m not hurt by not receiving a more touchy-feely welcome. I’ve come too far to fall down that rabbit hole. I need science. I need facts. I need a plan.
“What are you working on?” I ask.
Jane’s eyes, although hardened by loss, light up at my question. “It’s interesting. Could be a total disaster. We won’t know until we try it.”
I leave Wyatt in the doorway and sit across from my family.
I’ve come to the right place. No emotion. No distress. It’s all science, all the time.
My dad holds up some papers filled with data and formulas. I have no idea what it means and press him to explain. “As you know, the EVI-1 is a success in stopping the Eater virus, but when merged with the EVI-2 the result is a mutated version of a Hybrid—the Mutt.”
I nod. “Right.”
“The Mutt has proved useful as a soldier against Chloe’s Hybrid army. They’re capable in a fight yet still independent thinkers. But it’s still the wrong direction. We need humans to survive. Not an aberration.”
I sigh. “I know all of this, Dad.”
Jane interjects. “We can’t stop the Hybrids without the Mutts—but we also can’t afford to sacrifice the humanity in that many survivors.”
“So what’s the solution?” Wyatt asks from his spot in the doorway.
Jane holds up a specific formula. “It’s an injection that provides the temporary benefits of a Mutt.”
“What do you mean temporary?” I ask.
“Short term strength, abilities and skills. Fighting capabilities will be equal to the Hybrids, but after a period they’ll wear off.”
Wyatt moves behind me, hands on my shoulders. I hear the intrigue in his voice when he says, “That’s insane.”
“Is it ready?” I ask. His fingers clamp down on my shoulders. I ignore them.
“A beta test is ready. It could be weeks or months before we could use it safely.”
I look between my sister and father. “I’ll be your test. Now. No waiting.”
“Like hell you will,” Wyatt blurts out. I glare at him for a quick second and he holds my eye. I turn to face my father when he says my name.
“It’s incredibly high-risk. I can’t let you do that.” His tone is harder than I’ve heard it in years.
“So I can’t test it but someone else can? Where’s the logic in that? At least I know what I’m getting into. I just spent the last six months in a mental and physical boot camp with a Mutt. I know better than anyone what the risks could be.”
Dad and Jane share a quiet exchange. Wyatt moves to where I can’t turn away.
“Don’t do this,” he says. “It’s not the way to fight her.”
“You don’t know what it takes to fight Chloe, Wyatt. You have no freaking idea. You haven’t even seen her in a year. I have. I know what she’s capable of and I’m done with her special brand of narcissism.”
Jane clears her throat. “Avi set up this lab despite his reservations about biological and genetic warfare because he knew we would need it one day. Today is that day. Chloe’s Hybrids slaughtered him.” Her voice wobbles but she holds it together. “He was our chance at making things better the right way. He’s gone and that means we’ll do it my way. The Ramsey way.”
I nod. “Good. I’m all in.”
Wyatt stands next to me and stares. I feel his gaze burning through the side of my head. I don’t look at him, but I hear the curse under his breath and the door as it slams behind him.
My father sighs but it’s in resignation. He’s in as well.
“How long?” I ask them.
“Tomorrow? I’ll make sure you have it before Erwin heads out.”
“Thank you.” I stand and walk around the desk, giving my sister a hug.
“I want you to kill her,” she whispers.
I squeeze her tight and feel my father’s hand on my shoulder. There’s no question who her is and there’s no doubting my word when I agree.
“Done.”
Chapter Seventeen
I enter the apartment alone. I expect it to be empty since Wyatt was gone when I left the lab. I figured he’d go off and blow some steam—hit or blow up something.
No, the apartment isn’t empty. Wyatt waits for me sitting in the plaid chair, quiet and brooding. He’s pissed, but so am I. Just not at him.
I decide to cut off the conversation before it starts. “I don’t want to discuss this.”
“Why? Because you planned this all along?”
“All along? I’ve just been back a week. Before that I was slaving away for Chloe and participating in her deranged Fight Club. I haven’t had time for plans, I was trying to survive.”
I expect anger. Instead I get hurt. “Don’t lie to me. Not about this.”
“About what, Wyatt? We’ve both put ourselves on the line before. How is this any different?”
“You’re talking about becoming the very thing you’re fighting against!” he shouts, jumping from the chair. I watch as he paces the room trying to formulate his thoughts. “You’re talking fucking with your mind and your body. Your entire personality is at risk. Your soul.”
“Bullshit. I’m talking about fighting fire against fire. If you haven’t noticed, it’s the only thing that works.”
“Not this way.”
He looks lost. Desperate. There’s a shade of anger and fear I’ve never seen on his face before. Panic deep in his eyes. It’s a physical reaction and it’s enough to make my resolve waver. A little.
I step forward. “I have to do something.”
He jerks his head to the side when I reach for him, so I grab him at the hip. It’s an intimate touch, one I’ve resisted for days. I’ve been too scared to let down the wall because what happens if we lose each other again?
I say what I feel. “We’ll get through this, too. Like we always do. Soul, mind, and body intact.”
His shoulders tense and he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing. “I don’t want to lose you again and I’m terrified that could happen in a whole other way with this injection.” Those tears I’ve held back for days threaten to spill as he continues. “We’ve fought through hell over the last year and you are the only light left in my world. You’re what keeps me going. Keeps me fighting. Your heart and spirit—I can’t lose that, Alex.”
“We’re going to lose either way, don’t you see that?”
I’m braced for another argument, but he moves quickly, wrapping his hands around the back of my head and pulling me into a hard kiss.
My heart kicks into gear and I clutch at the fabric of his shirt. We part, breathing heavy, and all I can think of is how thoughts of this moment haunted me late at night in my cell.
I thought I’d never get to see him, feel him or kiss him again. But now he’s here and he’s so very warm. He moves his hands to my face, skimming his fingers down my cheek before kissing me again. I feel a jolt and the
real latent fear I’ve stuffed away for all these months erupts like a volcano.
Love.
My reservations slip away and I don’t just fall into his kiss, I demand it and more. If he’s startled by my aggression, he doesn’t show it. No, he reacts in kind, whatever emotion he’s been holding back showing in his mouth, hands, and body.
We make it to the bed and straddling his hips, I push his shirt off over his head. I touch the scars on his chest, the jagged one I stitched myself days after we met. I had no idea then we’d be like this more than a year later. My best friend, my confidant and protector. He tugs at the hem of my shirt and I’m fully aware that things continue progressing, Wyatt is a heartbeat from becoming my lover.
I push his hands away and lift the shirt over my head.
He looks up at me, hazel eyes glassy in the morning light. A thin crease appears on his forehead and he exhales in a hard heave. “You sure about this?”
“More than sure.”
He stares at me, making sure I’m not an emotional mess. I can’t promise that but my feelings are real and he’s proven himself to me, over and over again. In a blink he’s back to kissing me and flips our positions. His hands take away the pain of isolation. His words heal the wounds in my heart. His mouth lifts the fear I’ve carried since we last touched and together our bodies mend the divide others have created between us. We pause, breaking for him to dig through the side drawer next to the bed for a square package and my mind loves this man even more. So smart. Fearless.
He presses his damp forehead against mine and holds my gaze. In heavy breath and combined movement we sink fully into each other, pushing away our enemies and banish the soul-crushing monsters that wait outside the gates. We break free from the chains that bind us to our fears and simply dedicate our love and trust to one another.
Chapter Eighteen
In the morning light I feel less bold, awkwardly searching for my discarded clothing in the small apartment. Wyatt, ever aware, remedies the moment with a kiss and a gruff explanation that he’s off to kick some recruit ass before the pending battle.
Ah, post-apocalyptic life continues.
Down on the street there’s a noticeable vibe change. The soldiers look tense. Half of the shops are closed. I don’t see a single child as I walk toward Town Hall. There’s a palpable feel to the day. Everyone is in motion. This includes me as well.
“Ms. Ramsey?” A guard asks as I cross the threshold of the building. I note the dark Hybrid eyes.
“Yes.”
“General Erwin has requested your presence.”
“Requested?” I laugh. “That makes it sound like I have a choice.”
The solider doesn’t blink. “His office is upstairs. Follow me.”
“Okay then.”
Erwin occupies the former Mayor’s office and I sense the change in him before he speaks. He looks younger and in better shape. Erwin isn’t young by any means, closer to fifty than anything else I suppose. But now he looks a decade younger and his dark, shadowed eyes give me a chill.
“Alexandra.” He stands to greet me. There’s no affection. There never has been between us. We walk the fine line between ally and enemy, fueled by the desire to rid society of monsters—human and otherwise. Now the Mutt mutation under his skin makes that line obsolete.
“Erwin,” I reply. “Looks like we’re still here.”
“Indeed.” He gestures to the chair across the desk. I notice he’s dressed less formally—less General-like, but more like a regular Fighter, in basic fatigues. Wyatt is right, things aren’t the same around here. “I wanted to debrief you after your time with Chloe.”
“Sure, okay. But don’t you have intelligence at her Headquarters?”
“Yes. And they’re the ones that found the opportunity to break you out.”
I laugh. “It took them six months to find an opportunity? Two weeks ago Cole nearly killed me.” His expression doesn’t change. “You knew that. You left me there for dead.”
“No. We left you there waiting for the right time to get in and out. My soldiers were there to stop Cole’s attack and get you to the infirmary.” He’s unaffected by my angry glare. “I’m sorry Alexandra but you know better than anyone this war is about more than one person. The instant we made an attempt to rescue you and the others, we made this place a target.”
In a blink I understand. “And the town wasn’t ready.”
“Not by a long shot. They needed intensive training before I could send them outside the gates. They’re lucky as hell we got here first.”
“Lucky?” I ask, daring to challenge his moral superiority. “Seems you turned most into Mutts anyway.”
“I gave them a choice. She wouldn’t have. I was not awarded that luxury.”
I tap my nails on the arm of the chair and glance around the former Mayor’s office. The books in the bookshelf are about ground warfare. A large topographical map of the area hangs on the wall and an organized table of weapons sits against the far wall. Interestingly, Erwin looks a little more settled in than at past locations. This makes me curious enough to ask, “You plan to stay here when this is over, don’t you?”
“Catlettsburg is the end of the road for me. We take Chloe out now or we don’t at all. We’re at the tipping point.”
“Where do you need me?” I ask. I’m not ready to share my plan about taking the new shot, but I’d like to know what he has in mind.
He hesitates and holds my gaze with his dark, disturbing eyes. “I think you would be best served away from the battle and away from Catlettsburg.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’re a distraction in this war, Alex. This feud between you, Cole, and Chloe has created an impossible scenario of torture and retribution. She doesn’t care about killing either of you. Her twisted Hybrid brain wants to punish you.” He leans over his desk. “I want you off the grid because you’re nothing but a liability at this point. You’re sitting this one out.”
I want to argue back. Tell him this is my battle to fight as much as his, but I bite my tongue. I understand the ranking here. Not only is he the General, with an entire army of soldiers at his command, but he’s a Mutt. And that’s how life goes now. Eaters, Hybrids, and Mutts. At the very bottom, under their murderous feet—humans.
“Where will I go?”
“You’ll be escorted out of the town before we leave for battle. That’s where you’ll remain until further notice.”
The door opens behind me and he gives a slight nod, making it clear our meeting is over. I keep my rage in check and stand. I do ask one final question on my way out. “Does Wyatt know about this?”
“Wyatt has been given orders to get ahead of the teams and scout.”
“When did this happen?”
“This morning.” He watches me closely. “He won’t be returning before the troops depart.”
I swallow back the emotions surging through my chest but Erwin and I share one last look and even his dark mutated eyes can’t hide the truth. He’s isolating me from the rest of the soldiers. From my friends, family, and Wyatt, my partner.
I brush past the Mutt standing guard. Erwin wants me out of this game. But I’m not ready to fold yet.
Chapter Nineteen
The first thing I notice back at the apartment is that Wyatt’s backpack is gone. I thought maybe Erwin was just trying to manipulate me. Or that maybe Wyatt would stick around but no, if the bag is gone, he’s gone too.
I look around the tiny apartment—lost and uneasy. The bed we shared the night before has been made. He must have done that before he left and it surprises me. Did he do it to cover our tracks? Or is it a holdover from his military days? Maybe his mother instilled the value of a tidy bed in him as a child. It’s possible I’ll never know.
I stand in the middle of the room and my eyes land on the couch. My pack is propped against a pillow, hatchet sticking out of the compartment for water bottles on the side.
“O
h Wyatt,” I say to myself. A smile breaks across my face and I feel silly at the level of happiness seeing it brings back to me. I rush over and sit on the couch and start to dig through it. Immediately, I can tell it’s been sorted and repacked. It’s been so long since I was separated from it back at the farm that I can’t remember what food I had packed, but I do feel a swell of emotion seeing my photos and useless cell phone and the books I’d been reading when I was captured.
I find the sewing kit I used to stitch Wyatt up on the boat. I touch an arrowhead Cole discovered in a creek when we stopped to clean up just outside the Tennessee state line. A package of candy is stuffed in the outside pocket and it reminds me of Devin, Kori, and Garrett. I hope they’re alive. Wyatt never told me if he asked Jude or Paul about the family. Just in case.
I push my fingers deep in the pockets, looking for something specific, but come up empty. When I can’t find my mother’s ring I dump the whole bag, scattering my neatly organized plastic bags of underwear and socks on the floor. I pick through the smaller pockets, look between the pages of my book and bite back despair.
I’m about to tear the whole thing apart when a knock at the door interrupts my obsessive breakdown.
“Yeah?” I call, getting my voice under control. “Come in.”
To my surprise, Jude stands behind the open door. He smiles wide at the sight of me and I break down into ugly tears.
“Holy shit, you that sad to see me?” he says, approaching me on the floor.
I wipe my cheeks and nose with the hem of my shirt. “Just a little breakdown.”
“Yeah, I get it.” He picks up the arrowhead, surely remembering where and when Cole fished it out of the water, happily passing it around. It wasn’t until later, when we had a moment alone, that he pressed it into my hand.
“I’ll be okay.”
He laughs. “No doubt about that.”
“What are you doing here?”
His eyes light up. “I just wanted to check on you. I know Wyatt was sent ahead.”