by A. K. Layton
“Will you tell me about it?”
“Baby, it’s been a rough night already. It seems like bad timing.”
“Is there going to ever be a good time?” Kiki puffed.
No, there was never going to be a good time. Today had been a shitty day; might as well put it all out there so they can move past it. But he felt like a jerk talking about himself. He needed to be strong for Kiki, not the other way around.
“Please talk to me,” Kiki pleaded with a sob. “I can’t stop replaying the events of the night. I can’t stop reliving the horror of it all. I need something to take my mind off of it, and a laugh won’t do.”
“I’m not sure where to start.”
“Your mom passed away first?”
“Yeah. She had cancer. It was quick, we didn’t get years like some do. Then again, she didn’t want to go through all the treatments that they offered. She wanted quality of life over quantity. Then it was almost a year later, exactly, when Dad died. He died of a broken heart.” Wade scoffed, “There is a technical term, but that’s essentially what it is. I think he knew it was coming because after Mom died he showed Vi every little in-and-out of the business, no detail missed. By the end, she knew just as much, if not more, than he did.”
“I’m sorry for your losses,” Kiki said, placing a kiss over his heart.
“It’s okay,” Wade responded casually.
“Is it?”
“No… The pain and hurt, the anger, they’re all still as fresh as they were. I was so angry with my mom for not trying harder to beat the cancer. And when my dad died it felt like we weren’t enough to live for.” Wade let the trail of hot tears run down the side of his face, not bothering to wipe them away. “The hardest part is when I pick up the phone to call Mom on her birthday. Or I have a business question for my dad.” Wade squeezed his eyes shut. “Vi’s wedding. They should have been there for that. They should have tried harder. It’s not fair.”
These words, these thoughts, ran wild in his head every day since their passing, but they had never been spoken. It hurt talking about it, and while the pain cut him, his chest didn’t feel as heavy. The words were a release, like a breath he had been holding too long, suffocating him.
“I love you, Kiki.” Wade pulled back enough that he could see her face, glossy almond eyes starting back into his soul. “I hate everything you had to go through tonight.”
“I hate it too. I have the pain and the hurt you talk about. I feel so betrayed by someone I considered a friend. I feel dumb for not listening to my friends, to you. But most of all, I feel like I did this to myself.”
“Don’t! It’s hard for me to imagine the jerks you’ve dated. But it’s never been your fault, and I won’t let you think that way. This. Was. Not. Your. Fault. Even if I must tell you every day, forever. Real men don’t put their hands on women, they don’t force themselves on women. Sure, we may say some dumb shit, but they don’t put down women. He was wrong. It’s not your fault, baby.”
Wade blamed her father for the lack of self-esteem that Kiki showed on occasion. He was domineering and had no faith in Kiki’s own strength. But Wade couldn’t come out and say that. He knew she loved her family, and it would only make her defensive, but tonight he was happy when she chose him over her father.
“I was so scared. I’ve never been that petrified in my life. I’ve been doing this MMA training, but it didn’t help.”
“Sure it did. You have to be stronger, faster, and quicker on your feet than you were before. Maybe it didn’t help you combat him, but it helped in other ways. You didn’t give up.”
“Maybe.”
“What I think would be a good idea is for you to take that self-defense class that Gav teaches. Not that I will ever let anything like this happen to you again, but maybe it will make you feel more confident.”
“Hmm. Maybe,” Kiki said, her eyes fluttering shut. “Kiss me goodnight.”
Wade leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her pouty, swollen lips. He pulled her tight into the nook of his arm, holding her as they fell asleep.
Chapter 25
Kiki was working on not feeling like a total jerk when Vi cut her honeymoon short to come back home. It was only a couple of days, so she didn’t feel like she’d completely ruined it. Vi heard about the Joshua situation, and with as much pull as Vi had in the MMA world, she’d vowed to destroy any career he might have when he was released from jail. Beating a man in a sanctioned fight was one thing, putting your hands on someone outside of the cage, a woman nonetheless, was disgraceful.
Kiki placed her hand on the bump on her cheek. She had no regrets when she’d made a full statement to the police. When she shared every detail, every text message, cellphone records. Her support system reminded her that this wasn’t her fault. It made her sad to think about all the women out there who take the abuse never knowing that they deserve better.
Taking a deep breath, she laid her head on the cool surface of the receptionist desk at the T&A MMA Gym. Vi had insisted that Lawson come to the other gym to learn their system in case he needed to fill in over there. Kiki herself had been spending an awful lot of time at Prime Time gym, participating in the self-defense class. Vi and Leena took the class with her, with Gav giving them extra classes, insisting that his little sister, Sabrina, join them.
That night he’d come to Kiki’s rescue, he’d gone to jail for her, and now this. It was clear that her situation had an effect on Gav. It could have been any woman he cared about in Kiki’s situation, and now he was doing anything he could to protect them. Kiki did the same for him, pleading with the police to drop the charges, to understand that it was only in defense of her, and in self-defense. It didn’t completely get him off the hook, but it had helped lessen his punishment. That and the fact that Joshua didn’t press his own charges.
Kiki inhaled deeply before giving a heavy sigh. The only sunshine to come out of this crappy situation was Wade. He’d been there every step of the way, not pushing her, letting her lead the way. The first three nights after the attack she’d stayed at his house, letting him comfort her and protect her, but that was the extent of it.
In a terrifying way, the saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ was apt. They’d bonded over the horrible situation, how life could be hard and cruel. He’d shared so much of his history, and now she understood better why he wouldn’t want to relive it. What had happened to her was something she didn’t want to relive, but pushing it down, forgetting about it, wasn’t fair to her; it gave it power, and she was done feeling powerless.
She’d told Wade at the wedding that if he wanted her back he’d find a way, and while he had started to do everything she’d asked, wooing her, sharing intimate pieces of his soul, she wanted more. She wanted something that wasn’t tainted with the horrible memory of Joshua. And just because she was back in arm’s reach didn’t mean he had won her back.
When Wade told her that he loved her she believed it, but at that time she just couldn’t say it back. Her heart was wounded, and even though he softened it, she couldn’t let go of the hurt. Even with his tender demeanor and attentiveness, Kiki hadn’t been able to fully make up with him. She wasn’t ready to be intimate. This awkward period reminded her of the beginning of their relationship; it wasn’t clear where anyone stood, it wasn’t solid.
* * * *
Wade took a cleansing breath as he stood outside the doors of the T&A Gym, flowers in hand. His heart pounded hard in his chest, not with nervousness, but excitement and anticipation. He had something very special he wanted to discuss with Kiki, and he hoped that she was going to agree, but with everything that had happened over the last few weeks, he knew nothing was ever certain.
He knew Kiki was the right woman, the perfect woman, soul mate if he told the truth. The relationship with the last woman that he’d loved had been easily torn apart by tragedy, whereas a terrible event with Kiki had brought them closer together. It was an intimate part, not sexual, but a deep, soulful c
onnection. Everyone had their shit, but Kiki had lived such an innocent life, and so had Wade up until his parents died.
Wade succeeded in getting Kiki back into his life, but now he needed to build their relationship back up to one that was stronger than ever. He wanted, needed, to prove to her that he was all in. At least as much as he could be for now. With one last deep breath, he walked into the gym.
Sitting at the receptionist desk, her forehead resting on the desk, Kiki didn’t bother to look up as the doors chimed at his entrance. He smiled, thinking about his perfect plan for his perfect girl that he’d set in place.
Of course, she picked up by the second ring. His sister was never too busy for her little brother.
“Are you okay?” Vi asked.
“Yes, why?”
“It’s just a little late. And with all the shit that’s been going on lately…”
Her concern was understandable, but he didn’t have time to get into that.
“Everything is great. Amazing, actually,” he said, almost embarrassed. He’d listened to his sister talk about her feelings, but he’d never been so forthcoming with her.
“Yeah?”
He could hear the smile in her voice.
“I need Kiki at the front desk tomorrow, around 1 PM. Can you do that?” Wade asked.
“Depends, why?”
Typical sister, fishing for information.
“I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.”
Vi was very quiet, but even over the phone he could hear the wheels in her head turning. But he wasn’t about to give away any more than he had already. This was for Kiki, no one else.
“Yes, of course I will,” Vi conceded. “But just know I’m texting her now and making plans for happy hour. You can only keep secrets for so long.”
Wade shook his head, remembering the conversation with his crafty sister; she wasn’t going to let anything get past her. He had to get back to school in the next hour, so Vi making plans with Kiki wasn’t a terrible idea. Wade knew he should wait for his day off, but this couldn’t wait; love wasn’t going to wait this time.
Clearing his throat, Wade took a couple of steps toward the desk. Kiki’s head shot up from its resting spot. Her eyes lit up at seeing him, a slightly confused expression on her face, which was quickly replaced with a smile when she saw the bouquet of roses he had in hand.
“Wade, what are you doing here?” she asked in a sweet tone, walking around the desk to greet him. The blush high in her cheek was spreading, and it made him smile.
“Here, beautiful, these are for you,” he said, handing her the flowers before pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
“Thank you. These are beyond beautiful.” Kiki pulled the flowers to her nose and inhaled the fresh scent. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are these for?” she asked tentatively as her eyes met his.
Wade shrugged with a shy smile. “Kiki, this is where I laid my eyes on you for the very first time. Where I heard the sweet tone of your beautiful voice, and saw your face blush when I tried to flirt with you. I love you very much, and it only seemed fitting to do this where we started.”
Her rapid breath and the rising and falling of her chest was eye-catching, making him wonder if she noticed his own shaky breath as he spoke.
“Kiki Matsuda, I love you very much, but this isn’t quite what you think.” Wade paused. “Right now, I can’t offer you all the things you deserve, but I won’t lose you again. What I have here is a promise. I promise to love you forever. I promise one day that I will be able to give you the world, and more. I promise one day I will make you my wife. Will you accept this promise, and my ring?”
Tears fell from Kiki’s eyes as he pulled a velvet box from his pocket, making his lip quiver with his own emotion. He contemplated dropping to one knee, but he wanted to save that. He’d vowed to give her all she deserved, and part of that would be the proposal of a lifetime.
He opened the box, revealing a yellow gold antique ring. Kiki pressed her hands over her mouth, nodding vigorously as she finally found words. “Yes! Yes! Of course!”
Wade slipped the ring on her finger before taking her tightly in his arms. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck as he spun her around. The cheers from the gym members gawking typically made him uncomfortable, but not this time. He wasn’t a big feelings guy, but this was the right woman, and he wanted everyone to know it.
“Thank you,” Wade whispered in her ear.
This was the proudest moment of his life; his parents would like the man that Kiki had helped him become.
Wade pulled out of the embrace. “Can I take you out for that fancy dinner tonight?”
A blush went over Kiki’s face, and she batted her eyelashes as she looked up at him. “I’d love that.”
“You’re going out with the girls tonight, right?”
She nodded. “Wait…how did you know that?”
He shrugged with a coy smile. “Do you want me to pick you up from the bar and we can do dinner, or do you want to go home first?”
“How about you pick me up at my place, like eight?”
“Perfect.” He went in for another kiss, but realized the audience was only getting bigger. “Would you walk me to my car?” Wade asked with a wink.
“Oh,” Kiki said with surprise. “Um…yeah.”
Wade interlocked his fingers with Kiki’s tiny hands as he led her out of the building. Reaching his car, he leaned against it, pulling her flush against him, resting his arms around her back, just atop her tiny ass.
“Do you love me?” Wade’s eyes peered down, seeking out Kiki’s.
He was aware of the fact he’d now professed his love to her twice now, not to have it returned. She accepted his proposal, but he needed more from her. He needed the confirmation that he was on the right path, that he was winning her back, just like he’d vowed to.
“Yes. I love you, Wade Kerney. I think I have since the day I met you. You’re the man of my dreams.” Kiki said the last part with a bashful smile and fluttering eyelashes.
Those words...they did more to him than anything ever had. She was his girl, but more importantly, he had become that man for her.
* * * *
The day had been one of the most beautiful days of Kiki’s life. Wade was exactly the type of man she’d always dreamed of, and for once her dreams were coming true. But she especially loved the package that he brought. She’d have a sister now, two sisters counting Leena. They were family, the formality was only a matter of time. The thought brought tears to her eyes. When she saw her two sisters making their way toward her she scooted out of the booth as the women rushed her, taking turns crushing her with hugs.
“I’m going to go put in an order for our drinks. We need to celebrate!” Leena exclaimed. “Don’t start any of the good gossip without me.”
Kiki scooted into the booth first, followed by Vi, who wrapped an arm around Kiki’s shoulder.
“I know something great must have happened today! This time I don’t want you to leave out any details!” Vi gushed.
“Wait, bitches!” Leena screeched as she hurried back to the booth. “I wasn’t even gone that long. Start over,” she ordered.
“Calm it. We haven’t started,” Vi said.
Leena took her seat across from the two women. “Okay, go!”
“Well, Wade surprised me at work with an amazingly beautiful bouquet of roses.” Kiki swooned remembering it so clearly. “It was so romantic. He made this big promise in front of everyone of how he’ll love me forever and that he promises to give me the best life has to offer.” Kiki paused. “And he gave me this beautiful promise ring.” She fanned out her left hand.
She didn’t know which hand she was supposed to put a promise ring on, but it seemed fitting on that special finger since his promise was to marry her one day.
Kiki turned quickly at Vi’s gasp as she pulled Kiki’s hand awkwardly toward her, getting a better look at the vintage yellow gold ring.
It was a sight to behold. A large circle cut diamond in the middle with a halo of smaller diamonds surrounding it.
“Beautiful, right?” Kiki smiled.
But when tears fell from Vi’s eyes she wasn’t sure what was wrong. Maybe Vi regretted hearing the details. Or regretted the fact that Kiki and Wade had moved to such a big next step.
“Vi?” Leena called her name with question.
“It’s just… It’s just that’s our grandmother’s ring. I forgot that he even had it. I know he had Mom’s ring, but he gave that to Colin,” Vi said, wiping a tear from her cheek as she pulled Kiki into a big hug. “I love you, Kiki, and there is no woman out there better for my brother than you.”
Kiki was overcome with emotion. That was the biggest compliment that she’d ever received, and coming from Vi made it all the more important.
“Let me see it, damn it,” Leena teased, pulling Kiki’s hand across the table. Leena let out a whistle. “Man, you Kerney women have great taste!”
Vi and Kiki gave a giggle just as the drinks were served to the table.
Leena lifted her martini glass, and the other women followed suit. “Here’s to the surprise of true love!”
True love, like a lot of things in life, wasn’t a guarantee, it was a process. Before you could fight for love, you had to fight to love. Even if that meant getting out of your own way, allowing yourself to be receptive to the beauty that life could offer. Then you could fight for love.
Chapter 26
Kiki thought it unusual when Wade texted her and asked her to meet him at his place before they went out on their date. He was typically a stickler for dating etiquette, but she didn’t question him.
When Kiki reached Wade’s door she could smell a delicious aroma coming from the other side and heard soft music playing. She bit her bottom lip at the smile on her face. He was cooking her dinner.