by Jodie Bailey
The light was bright in the dimness, but as his eyes adjusted, adrenaline threatened to overwhelm him.
The red shirt, the blond hair... He grabbed her by the shoulder and gently rolled her toward him, but she was dead weight, gravity tugging her body away from him. He rested her on her back, and her head lolled toward him, eyes closed, a bruise forming along the side of her face to her temple.
Casey was barely breathing, but she was alive.
He looked at the barn door as Gus trotted over and sat next to Casey, nudging her with his nose.
The sirens grew louder as several vehicles turned into the clinic parking lot, their red, white and blue lights casting crazy shadows even from this distance. He’d have to leave her to call for help, but leaving her meant making her vulnerable if someone still lurked in the shadows.
Not leaving her meant help might be precious moments too late.
Brushing the hair from her face, he tore himself away and made his way to the wall to flip on the lights, illuminating the building like a beacon in the night, then stood in the doorway and called for help.
A group of men in the parking lot looked his way, then went into motion.
Travis didn’t wait to see what they did. He simply dropped beside Casey and prayed.
But before he could do more than assure himself she really was still alive, the first responders rushed into the building, where they huddled around her and eased him out of the way.
He stood to the side, numb, Gus leaning against his leg. Once again, exactly like when the medics had taken over after the improvised explosive device ripped into Neil Aiken, Travis could only stand by helplessly and watch others try to save someone he was responsible for hurting.
EIGHTEEN
Casey squeezed her eyes tighter, but the movement only made the pounding in her head worse. She tried to focus on the voices talking quietly around her. Who in the world would be in her bedroom and why did everything hurt so much?
She squinted harder then slowly peeked. Dim gray light surrounded her, the image hazy and wavering. Her body felt heavy, and the walls around her didn’t look like any room she ought to be asleep in.
Gasping, Casey tried to breathe and sit up at the same time. Pressure on her face trapped her. She tried to swipe at it, to figure out where she was, but gentle hands wrapped around her wrists and pulled them down before someone appeared in her line of sight.
Travis.
Sinking into the pillow, she focused on his blue eyes, letting herself find peace in them like she hadn’t truly allowed herself to in a long time. He said something, but it didn’t register in the fog of her brain, and she drifted out of consciousness.
When she woke again, the room was quiet and her mind was less muddy, though her head still throbbed. Whatever had pressed into her face was gone, but her mouth was dry and her nose burned. She glanced around the room, trying to take inventory of where she was. The drab walls. The machines beside her. The smell of antiseptic and plastic.
The hospital. Fear jolted her, and through the fog in her brain, she fought to remember the last thing that had happened. All she could conjure was a woman screaming as a huge room went dark.
She slid her hand sideways, looking for a way to raise the bed so she could see better, but a whisper and a soft rustle to her right stopped her. Footsteps crossed the room and something like a door opening broke the silence, but she couldn’t quite see from where she lay what was going on.
Once again, Travis appeared, a soft smile lifting and easing the fatigue that etched lines into his face. “You’re back.”
“From where?” Her voice rasped, dry and scratchy.
“Only you can answer that. Want me to raise the bed so you can have some water?”
In her whole life, nothing had ever sounded better. “Please.”
With a hum, the head of the bed lifted, and she could see the room. In the far corner, Lucas was crashed on a small vinyl love seat, oblivious to the world. A blanket lay crumpled beside him, evidence Kristin had probably been there, too.
Travis let her drink from a straw, and the cool water drenched a path down her parched throat. “What happened?”
“You’ve been in and out for a couple of hours. The doc said you probably wouldn’t remember what landed you here. And even though he said you’d be fine eventually, it seemed like it took you six years to come around.”
“From what?”
Two taps sounded at the door, and a nurse peeked in. “I hear someone’s awake.” Questions and vitals followed, wrapping the minutes in a whirlwind of discussions Casey’s brain was too tired to catalog.
Finally, blessedly, everyone was gone, including Kristin and Lucas, whom the nurse had kicked out early on. She didn’t know where they were, but she was more than happy to shut her eyes and relax, Travis’s hand wrapped around hers, as they waited for the on-call doctor to make an appearance and do a more thorough exam.
“Did I hear the nurse say ‘ketamine’?” It had been the one word to filter through what had felt like mild chaos. Casey had clung to it with a kind of fear, praying she’d heard wrong but knowing she hadn’t.
“You remember going to Meredith’s clinic?”
Casey nodded slightly, but the pain in her head kept her from too much enthusiasm. “You chased a guy out of the barn. The place went dark...” She squeezed her eyebrows together, fighting for the memory that was so tantalizingly close, then shook her head. “Then I was here, but it was like dreaming. Not being here but being here.” Even now, wide awake, a slight panic shuddered through her at her own body’s betrayal. “I’m guessing that was the drug?”
“Probably.” He pulled his hand from hers and scrubbed it against a day-old beard. He still wore his uniform, the front covered in smudged dirt, hay clinging to some spots, as though he’d tumbled to the barn floor and spent a good deal of time there. His eyes were tired, his face haggard.
“You okay?”
He chuckled, his gaze finding hers and softening in a way she hadn’t seen in a long time. “Now that you’re awake.”
Casey looked away, then gave up the fight and faced him again. He might be leaving, but he was here now. She’d live in what she had and deal with normal life later.
Except life without him would never be normal again.
She couldn’t tell him, even though the ache in her chest matched the one in her head. “Did they catch Phil and Meredith?”
“They caught Dylan. According to him, Phil conveniently left this afternoon for a kayaking trip in the mountains. We doubt that’s true, but we’re looking to verify. Until he gets a lawyer, he’s not saying much else.”
So Phil was still out there, still possibly involved in everything that had happened. The thought of him skulking around somewhere ran electric fear through her, but the guarded expression on Travis’s face stopped her. “Something else is bothering you.”
He was silent for a long time, staring at the railing on the bed, his expression troubled, as though there was something he didn’t want to say.
Casey wanted to hold her hand out to him, but her arm ached, and the IV impeded movement. If she was truly going to come out of this unscathed, then it wasn’t her condition that darkened his features. Something else had to be bothering him, something he was hesitant to tell her.
Deacon.
Her heart squeezed. “Did someone make another run at Deacon?”
“What?” Travis seemed to return from far away. “Not that I know of.”
“Then what?”
Leaning forward, he picked up her hand and laid his underneath, careful of the IV pumping liquid of some sort into her vein. He stared at their hands. “It’s Meredith.”
“She was the one who did all of this?” It couldn’t be. She’d seemed so nice. When Travis had bolted after t
he man in the barn, her surprise had certainly appeared to be genuine. And the scream in the darkness had to have been hers.
“I don’t know.” His thumb stroked the side of her hand, sending a pulse of pleasure along her arm.
She had to ignore those feelings now, though. “Then what?”
“She’s dead.”
Casey froze, the words falling like ice into her being. More death. It was never going to stop. “What happened?” The question in a whisper around the pain in her throat, which had magnified into a baseball.
“While the paramedics worked on you, I talked to the police and told them what we suspected, how the man I’d chased out of the barn had mugged us, and had been at Deacon’s and at your great-grandfather’s house the night before. They—”
“What?” The words were a slap to the face. He’d faced down danger—alone—at her family home and hadn’t told her. “The man at the barn was at the house?”
Travis winced. “That’s a story for later.”
It sure was. And he’d better believe he was going to be telling it in full. She debated forcing it out of him now, but the pain hit her all over again. Meredith Ingram was dead. Everything else was trivial. “Then what?”
“They got a warrant and searched the barn and the clinic. I got a call from Marcus while you were out.” He puffed out a deep breath and hesitated, the lines around his mouth growing deeper. “They found her in her office at the desk. He couldn’t tell me too much, but it looks like suicide. She left a note on her computer confessing to everything including...” He trailed off and squeezed her hand, then shrugged like he was going to stop.
“You don’t get to back off on me now, Heath.”
He gave her a grim look, face tense and expression unreadable. “Your murder.”
Casey’s stomach clenched. She was going to be sick. She tried to sit higher, gasping for air, fighting nausea.
Lowering the bed rail, Travis eased around the lines running into her arm and sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her near, murmuring something she couldn’t understand but that wound into her panic and wrapped around her heart, warming her from the inside out.
Ignoring the pain in her head, she turned her face into his shoulder and let him hold her, let him keep her safe. He was here for now, when she needed him. Tomorrow she’d figure out how to go forward without him when this was all over, even though the pain would be greater than anything in her body right now. “You found me.”
He nodded once, then planted a kiss on the top of her head before resting his chin there, showing no signs of backing away. “Pretty sure nothing’s ever scared me so bad in my whole life.” His arms tightened around her. “It made me realize for certain that I never should have let you go in the first place.”
The extra thump in her chest had nothing to do with the physical ordeal she’d been through. He’d admitted what she’d been needing to hear, had acknowledged with words that his feelings ran as deeply as hers. Burying her face in the space between his neck and shoulder, she closed her eyes and lost herself in the scent of his soap and the warmth of his arms. She took a deep breath that was all him. “I never should have let you walk away.”
His arms tightened around her, but before he could say anything, a tap at the door broke the growing electricity between them.
Casey wanted to reel in the last thirty seconds and hold on to them. Somewhere deep inside, she knew they’d either just gained something she’d thought lost, or she’d lost something she might never get back.
A woman pushed the door open and stepped in, and Travis was instantly on his feet. “Dr. Walters.”
She smiled at him then turned to look at Casey as a nurse came into the room behind her. “Good to see you’re still awake.”
Dr. Walters wasn’t dressed like any doctor Casey had seen before. In jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, she looked as though she’d be more at home in a local restaurant than in the hospital.
“Excuse me for not being in full-on doctor mode.” She smiled kindly and lifted an ID card she’d clipped to her shirt. “I promise I’m official. I’d been home long enough to change when I got the call you’d come all the way around and thought I’d drop by since we live around the corner.”
Travis planted a kiss on the top of Casey’s head and released her hand, backing away.
Casey wanted to lunge for him and hold on, to ask him what he’d been about to say, but her body likely wouldn’t obey, which saved her the embarrassment of throwing herself at him.
He winked as though he could read her mind.
Glancing between them as though she knew she’d interrupted something, Dr. Walters finally turned to Travis. “Would you mind stepping out while we check on her? If you want, you can bring her some real food from the café downstairs, since the only thing she’s likely to get from the nurses this time of night is a turkey sandwich that’s been sitting in a fridge for a while. Something light, though. Soup or a chicken breast.”
Food. The thought of it set a longing inside her, and it screamed for satisfaction. She’d let Travis step out for a few minutes, if he promised to bring her food. They could talk later. Physical needs took precedence. “Yes, please.”
Travis grinned. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Lucas and Kristin should be here soon, too. They ran to grab me real clothes and to check on Gus.” He gave her a look loaded with a sadness Casey couldn’t quite read, then slipped out the door, leaving her to face the doctor and to wonder exactly what he had on his mind.
NINETEEN
In the hallway, Travis leaned against the wall beside Casey’s door and let the building hold him up, tilting his head toward the ceiling exactly as he had outside Deacon’s room the night before. It felt like years had passed. Last night, he’d never dreamed the next time he saw this place it would be at Casey’s side.
He let the wall hold his weight, digging his boot heels into the tile floor. Bad enough he’d confessed his mistake in leaving her. Worse hearing her agree. He’d been about to spill everything to Casey, to tell her he still loved her and wanted to talk about what came next when the doctor had interrupted them.
It was probably a good thing. Lucas’s assertions that fear was running Travis’s life in God’s place had plagued him. Seeing Casey slumped on the concrete floor of the barn had assaulted him with doubt. He loved her, but he’d almost lost her. He wanted to be with her, but he didn’t even know what his own future looked like.
Watching the EMTs and the paramedics take over Casey’s care had driven his fear home, but now he understood what Lucas had been trying to tell him. He could leave her now and hurt them both, or he could be with her for as long as God gave them, living in the kind of joy only Casey brought him. From the recesses of his memory came a verse he’d once heard, something about perfect love casting out fear.
He hadn’t loved Casey before, not in a selfless way. He’d loved how she made him feel, but he’d never spent much time considering her. Now, having nearly lost her and putting himself in the line of fire for her, he knew this was what love really was. Sacrificing. Fearless.
He loved Casey Jordan...but he still didn’t know if God intended for them to be together, and he refused to do anything that didn’t have God’s approval.
Travis pushed away from the wall and trudged for the bank of elevators. He punched the button for the main floor and stared at the door. Lord, what do You want from me? I know what I want, but I’m more confused than ever about whether or not I deserve it. Forgive me for listening to myself instead of You. I’m tired of talking. Help me listen.
Silence. What had he expected? A voice to fall out of heaven? A map to appear on the wall? If only God would speak as epically as He used to, in audible voices or writing on stone.
When the doors slid open on the ground floor, Travis headed for the
cafeteria, wishing the coffee bar was still open for some decent caffeine to keep him awake as the clock crept into the later hours of the night. He needed his wits about himself if he was going to fight his own desires yet still sit vigil with Casey.
“Travis.”
His name in a familiar voice from across the room stopped him, sheening his muscles with the readiness to fight. The last time someone had hailed him in this lobby, it had been Phil. Travis balled his fists, prepared for confrontation, and whipped toward the sound.
Marcus Brewer strode across the lobby, dressed in jeans and a plaid button-down shirt, an odd sight out of uniform.
Travis relaxed. “Man, you shouldn’t yell at a guy as jumpy as I am.”
“Lay off the caffeine then.” Marcus held out his hand, gripped Travis’s quickly, then pulled him in for a one-armed hug before he let go. “How are you holding up? I heard about your girlfriend. Thought I’d swing by and offer you a little moral support, see if you needed me to hang out awhile and keep watch while you took a break.”
Travis nodded slowly, the action thawing some of the tension inside him. There was something about friends made in the army, the brotherhood that lasted even after the combat gear was stowed and the assignments brought separation. He’d been wrong to suspect Marcus earlier, driven by frustration and fear. The other man’s selflessness was almost more than Travis could bear after the roller coaster he’d ridden for the past three days. “Appreciate it.” Two words were the best he could do when he was exhausted and his emotions rode too close to the surface.
“No worries, man.” Marcus clearly understood what Travis wasn’t saying. He shifted his weight onto his heels.
“Any word on Phil?” Travis didn’t know if the police bought the story that Phil was out of town, but he sure didn’t. He’d fought Dylan the night before. The man he’d wrestled with in the barn was definitely someone else, someone built exactly like Phil Ingram.