Staring at her, the world took on a new shape and the heat in his chest wasn’t the anger he had assumed it to be. One thing was for sure, he didn’t want to kiss her out of anger. He wanted to kiss that wide mouth of hers simply because he could.
IV
FUEL TO THE FIRE
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.
That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.”
- Emily Kimbrough
FOURTEEN
In the aftermath of the fight at the pet cemetery, the lot of them decided to head to the simple budget hotel Abby and Sam’s Guard were occupying. They needed to catch their breaths from the whiplash of events, and after stopping at a drive-through along the way, a content silence of stomachs well-fed settled over them.
Surprisingly enough, as far as Abby was concerned, it was Linda who took a motherly interest in the little girl.
“Wanna play cards with me?” Linda asked, waving a worn packet.
“I don’t know how to.”
“We can show you,” Wes cut in.
After an eager nod, Sli scooted over on the bed so Wes and Linda could join and teach her how to play Mau Mau.
The double room that Abby had occupied on her own barely offered enough space. With the exception of the card players, the rest had to squeeze themselves onto a little couch in the corner or make do with the floor. Leaning their heads back against the wall, they decided to watch a bit of TV. Ed had a smile on his face when one of his favorite shows came on, while Dave watched the trio on the bed.
“Does anyone want something to drink?” Abby asked.
“That would be nice.”
Abby smiled at Ed. “Be right back.”
He audibly cleared his throat.
“Hang on, I’ll help you carry the stuff,” Linda said before getting off the bed. “I already lost this round.”
Abby looked between Ed and Linda, wondering at the secret language there, before half-heartedly agreeing, “Sure.”
She wasn’t in the mood to talk with the other Ivory, but then again maybe she wouldn’t have to. Linda wasn’t the most talkative person, after all.
“I’m sorry, just so you know.”
Well, there goes that. Abby saw no sense in talking around the bush. They both knew very well what they were referring to. “How could you have kept that from us?”
“You know that among Ivorys, or Heaven for that matter, there are probably more inner battles going on than in Hell.”
“I know that very well. Still, something as huge and life-saving as this? It’s just plain stupid and egoistical to keep it to yourself.” They went down the stairs and Abby threw the door to the reception area, wishing it would smack Linda on the way back.
“You’re right and I apologize.”
“Accepted.” Abby’s gaze focused on what the motel’s vending machine had to offer but her thoughts were a world away. A moment passed before she sighed and faced Linda. “I’m sorry, too. For jumping down your throat. It was just…I think I’ll never forget seeing Lillian almost die. The panic of trying to find something that’ll help her…” She shrugged. “Like I said, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.”
The older Ivory nodded with understanding in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, Abby felt relieved that things were back to normal between them.
But Linda wasn’t done yet. “The thing is…you guys look up to us because we’ve survived this long.” Her hard, sharp eyes found Abby’s. “Quite frankly, I wish you wouldn’t. We’re still learning too, and that we made it this far is more sheer luck than anything else, if you ask me.”
Choosing a couple of cokes and juice, Abby nodded. “Well, we need that luck to hold a bit longer.”
Linda snorted. “I always try my best, girl.”
Comforting chatter filled the room when the two women came back, a simple thing to some but it warmed Abby’s heart. This was the part she had always loved the best: the calm of being together after a fight. After less than an hour it turned out to be a sweet lullaby for Sli as the day finally took its toll on her. Linda covered the girl with a blanket the moment she fell asleep on the bed.
At the peaceful sight tears burned at the back of Abby’s eyes. Questions that had been filling her mind for the last few weeks tumbled out of control. Could the loving and forgiving God she’d always trusted in really be so careless? This child was another innocent, caught in the crossfire of a war she had no stacks in.
Sam appeared at Abby’s side, his hand softly touching her shoulder. Abby almost sighed, craving the contact she’d missed for so long. Could he sense her turmoil? How close she was to breaking?
The room was suddenly too small for her. She needed to breathe. Taking care not to step on anyone, Abby walked back outside onto the narrow balcony, knowing Sam would follow.
“Hey, you okay?”
She had to keep herself from snorting at the stupid question.
He came closer and she could sense his heat next to her. “What’s wrong, Abby?”
Other than the fact that he hadn’t even dared to share a room with her, much less kiss or touch her since she’d showed up at his safe house? A lot, actually.
Bracing her hands on the weather-worn railing, Abby looked up at the sky as if it held the answers she so desperately needed. Time had rushed by, the sun had already set and stars studded the sky like diamonds sewn on a lovely dress. Yet, it also made the hole she had fallen into seem all the deeper.
“I don’t know.” Abby sighed. “At the moment I don’t know much of anything anymore. I don’t know what we’ve been fighting for all these years, Sam. I don’t know what to believe in.”
“Believe in yourself, Abby. It has served you well.”
“Yeah. It would be nice if there was more than that, however.”
“This is about Him, isn’t it?”
“Among other things, yes.”
Sam was quiet for a while. “Have you ever considered that maybe there is a reason for the way He acted?”
Curious and confused at the same time, Abby frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
“He was talking to Lillian. Maybe His words were meant for her and not for you.”
“It doesn’t change anything about what God said, but how He said it.”
Sam shrugged. “Maybe you guys heard what you needed to hear to grow stronger.”
Confusion won, and must have showed on her face.
“One of the biggest reasons why change takes time is because most people don’t see it as their job to help bring it about. They tell themselves that others will take care of it. I’m talking theoretically here, but…maybe you and Lillian needed that push, that little extra something to spark the fire that’s burning so bright inside right now.”
Fire? That’s not what it felt like to her. “I feel weaker and more vulnerable than ever before. If there is a fire burning within me, then it’s hurting.”
Sam smiled softly. “That vulnerability will make you stronger. One day you’ll look back to this and understand.” After a moment to gather his thoughts, he tried to explain, “You grew up with faith surrounding you, with faith defined for you. Don’t take this the wrong way, but right now you have the possibility to redefine it for yourself. You’re in charge, creating a self and faith that’ll be unbreakable once you’ve made it through this dark valley.”
“How do you know I will come out on top?”
His smile widened. “I just do.”
Following the rising need, Abby stepped into his arms. Until that moment she hadn’t known that a hug had the power to hold her together when she wasn’t strong enough to do the job on her own.
“Don’t stop believing.”
Love, warm and reassuring, flooded her, and Abby pulled back slightly so she could see his face. Looking up at her handsome Sam, her rock, a smile broke out.
“There you go. I haven’t seen one of those in too long. I missed it.”
Smiling even wider, Abby rose on her tiptoe
s. When their lips were about to touch, he suddenly pulled away. With one small step backwards, he broke their embrace - and her heart.
Abby had come up with a few excuses for their stagnant relationship, for the fact that he kept his distance: their mission, being constantly surrounded by Wes and Dave. But now, seeing the look in his eyes she knew better. Nothing had happened between them simply because he didn’t want it, didn’t want her.
She kept her head low, not able to look at him as she heard him walk back inside. Alone and in a daze, Abby’s arms went around her middle as she tried to wrap her mind around what had just happened. But more so to hold the pain inside. Her thoughts raced, and one in particular made her heart squeeze. How would she handle the reality that he obviously only saw a friend in her, maybe even just a colleague? Could she even?
“We need to talk.”
Dave chose that moment to interrupt her much needed solitude.
Forcing herself to swallow the tears that were about to escape, Abby pulled all her strength together and turned around to face him. “About?”
“The demon.”
“Her name is Sli.”
Ignoring her comment, Dave joined her at the railing and went straight to the point. “I don’t think it was a good idea to let her come along.”
Abby’d had about enough today, especially from men. “Have you looked at her? She can’t be older than twelve. Would you have preferred it if we’d just left her there? On her own?”
“Abby…” Dave ran a frustrated hand through his hair before looking at her as if she were mentally unstable. “We are talking about a demon here, not a little girl.”
“Then tell me what exactly is it we’re trying to achieve here? If you can’t even give a little demon girl the benefit of the doubt, then what the heck are you doing here?”
“She is not a little girl, she will kill you,” he snapped.
His outburst left her speechless. Emotional expressions were simply not his style, but from one moment to the next his usual poker face and calm were gone. That was what made Abby pause and take a closer look at him.
Too consumed in her own pain, she hadn’t noticed how agitated he was. One hand was on his hip while he seemed to pace on the spot. Abby knew then that she was missing something important.
“What’s going on, Dave? Talk to me.”
He didn’t look at her, but at his feet instead. “Sarah. She…” He cleared his throat before staring into the distance and probably seeing nothing at all. “We’d been a Guard for less than a year when one day, among all those lower demons and Ebonys, a little kid showed up.”
Abby’s stomach sank with an awful apprehension as it dawned on her where this was going. She had never heard Sarah’s story. One look at Sam was enough to see that the pain and guilt were still there, and it robbed her of any courage to ask.
“A little boy.” Shaking his head and probably the memory, Dave turned to face her. “Sarah hesitated, the demon didn’t. I don’t want history to repeat itself.” Pulling himself together, he tried to laugh but it sounded like he was choking instead. “Sam blames himself, although he couldn’t have changed a thing. So, I just want you to be careful. Sam doesn’t need another death on his conscience.”
Without giving Abby the chance to say anything at all, he left her much like Sam had - with her heart squeezing painfully and her head a mess. She wanted to call him back to thank him for opening up, knowing how much it must have hurt him. Dave loved Sarah, that much she knew. Her death had affected them all. Sam still shouldered guilt’s heavy weight, and while Dave had become more serious and quiet, Wes had chosen to live life at its fullest. In the end all of them were chased by the knowledge that it all could end in a heartbeat.
Sounds of fast approaching footsteps pulled her rudely out of her thoughts. Her senses went immediately on alert, but it was too late. Hands gripped her by the throat and hair. Knocked against the wall, the air exploded out of her lungs before she was forced back into the room.
Landing on her side, her hip flared with pain. Cursing her heart for clouding her senses, Abby looked up to see Megan sneering down at her.
“Gotcha.”
FIFTEEN
Megan didn’t even give them a chance to talk. One moment she was sneering at Abby and in the next she had her sword in hand. In an impossibly swift move born out of instinct, Abby scrambled away and got to her feet.
Scanning the room, she realized they were sitting ducks. There was no other exit than the one currently blocked by a group of Ivorys out for blood. Not good. They were unprepared, had let their guard down. One slip and it could very well be their last. Never without a fight, though.
Megan came at her and Abby was lucky that Linda threw her a dagger at the same time. Abby appreciated it, but knew she needed to get more space between herself and Megan. Daggers weren’t her forte. She wanted her crossbow.
Her friends joined the fight when the other Ivorys spilled through the door.
“You made it too easy for us to find you. When I noticed your Guard had split up, it was child’s play to add two and two together.”
Abby dodged the sword tip heading for her mid-section. “I’m surprised you can count that far.” She seriously needed more distance between them. Risking a glance at Sli, Abby knew she had to get the kid out of here. The girl had been ripped out of her sleep and was looking around like a confused baby owl.
“You’ve been following Linda like a freaking dog.”
Abby had to admit, Megan had a point. They had been too focused on winning over Linda and Ed to consider the tracks they might leave behind. Although Lillian had warned them, they had underestimated Megan’s tenacity. She would not make the same mistake twice, that was for sure.
Megan swiped, and Abby rolled back on the bed. Sli suddenly appeared with a dagger in hand, facing Megan with grim determination that was admirable.
“You have to try to get out of here, Sli.”
“No, I can help you.”
Abby didn’t have the time to argue with the child. Megan simply laughed at them and spread her wings. The tips gleamed. Abby’s eyes widened when dread filled her mind. Megan had dipped them in steel. In a flurry of motion and feathers she jumped and spun in the air, using the sharp edges of her wings as slicing blades.
Throwing herself over the girl, Abby unfurled her own ivory wings and tried to cocoon Sli as best as she could while gritting her teeth as her exposed back burned with pain. Damn it. That hurt. A moan escaped despite her efforts to be still.
Suddenly the onslaught stopped. Abby turned her head to see that Sam was fighting Megan off. His face was a cold, hard mask.
The battle raged on in every square inch of the room, had even spilled outside onto the balcony. How careless and reckless of Megan and her Guard.
Sli twisted and turned underneath her, curiosity getting the better of her. Abby gave her room to move but didn’t let her get away. The girl craned her head to get a look at her defender. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” Abby lied, before summoning her crossbow. Her faithful companion. She tried to get a clear shot, but there was too much hustle. Besides, could she really shoot a fellow Ivory? Yes, Megan was a pain in the butt, but Abby couldn’t kill her for simply doing what she knew. Damn it.
Linda’s hoarse voice drifted to her, accompanied by the sound of clashing swords, daggers and axes. “What are you hoping to gain, anyway?”
Megan sounded out of breath when she answered, “Y’all have been corrupted by Hell.”
“For Pete’s sake,” Linda groaned. “So what? You gonna try to see who dies of exhaustion first? You can’t kill us without a shade.” Technically true, Abby thought. However, if the wounds were bad enough they could very well bleed to death.
It seemed talking was Linda’s favorite past time during a fight after all. She went on, “This bullshit is just tiring us all out, and will turn us all into easy pickings for Ebonys. Even you, Megan. Smart move, kid, very smart.”
Abby couldn’t say whether Megan was simply ignoring the other Ivory’s truth or whether she was too focused on Sam, trying to avoid a near fatal blow. His ax was a blur in the air between them. Abby knew the twin blades were thin and razor sharp, almost forming a complete circle.
“Let me make this easy for you, girl. How about you piss off or help us follow our new orders?”
Megan snorted. “You following orders? Stop it, you gonna make me laugh.”
Linda danced across the little space and swapped places with Sam, a move so smooth it looked like they had done it a million times before. Facing Megan, the older Ivory shrugged. “Might not be such a bad idea. They say laughing is quite healthy, and you could use some happy hormones, if you ask me.” Although Linda was older by about twenty years, she was light on her feet, almost prancing, and made Megan look like a fool. “And yes, orders. The emphasis was on new, honey, in case you didn’t notice.”
“We have one job and…”
Linda’s grimace was priceless as she caught Abby’s gaze. “Don’t tell me I sounded like that?”
“You did.”
Apparently infuriated with her opponent’s lack of attention, Megan’s voice gained in volume. “One job, and that is to rid the earth of the scum you’re now trying to protect.”
“Yes, but we also have only one boss, and if He says the rules are changing, then we damn well stick to it.”
“I don’t care about your God. We kill demons and everyone who stands in our way.”
“Interesting. Very stupid and short-sighted, too.”
“Wings!” Megan shouted, and in the next instant her Guard jumped in the air, twisting and spinning their steel tipped wings lusting for blood. Her friends ducked and tried to run for cover. Dave’s voice billowed, but she couldn’t make out what happened to him.
Abby pushed the girl down and took a shot at Megan.
It hit the wing. Not good enough.
Ebony Fight (The Guard Duet Book 2) Page 10