by Unknown
“What was Matthew’s wife like?” Selina asked, trying to smooth things over.
“Sarah Bulmer was a hard-faced harpy and she made Matthew’s life a misery. She couldn’t get pregnant and blamed Matthew for it. She made him pay every day of his life. She found out about our affair when our son, Thomas, was two years old, and that just seemed to push her over the edge. Two months later, the idiots on the council brought the witch finders in. She reported Matthew and the rest is history.” Agnes looked away as a tear slid slowly down her cheek.
I stared at her, and despite myself, hoped that one day I would find a love so enduring it lasted through the centuries. I reached over and put my hand on top of hers.
“That must have been awful for you,” Selina said, looking at Agnes compassionately.
Agnes took a handkerchief from her sleeve and blew her nose loudly. “It was a horrible time for everyone. Neighbours accusing each other; any old grievance was settled by pointing the finger of suspicion. Of the fourteen women who died, three were from my village and for two of them, I had birthed their babies. Children left without mothers, husbands without wives. It was a terrible, terrible time.”
“But if you’re a witch, how come your soul wasn’t damned? And how were you not accused with the rest of them?” I asked.
Agnes laughed, her eyes twinkling. “Oh Sarah tried hard to have me in the dock alongside Matthew, but I cast a protection spell and then beat her to a pulp! As for being damned, witches aren’t evil, Lauren!”
She giggled again and patted my cheek as though I were a child.
“At some point, when you’re ready, the others want to meet you. You remember Jane?” she asked. I looked at her, confused. “Grey whatsits…” she waved her hands around, “…boo …window?”
“The ghost in the window?”
“Yes, yes, that was Jane,” she smiled sadly. “She was one of the women who died alongside Matthew. They’re all here, waiting to help you.”
I looked around in fright. “What, they’re here?”
“Not in your home, no.” Agnes patted my hand. “They’re on call and they’ll come to Daniel’s cottage when you’re ready to meet them.”
“What about Daniel?” I asked, feeling a little uncomfortable. “He’s not a spirit, is he?”
Agnes slapped her thigh and hooted. “No sweet cheeks, Daniel is as alive as you are!”
“So how come he can disappear the way you do?” I asked with relief.
“He’s a natural witch, Lauren. He has inherited powers from his bloodline!” Agnes grinned at me slyly. “I just hope for your sake he also inherited some other talents! As a rule, witches are very… erm… sensual creatures,” she said, snickering. “I could tell you stories about my Matthew… There was this one time…”
I jumped up and stuck my fingers in my ears, singing stupidly to prevent hearing her words.
Agnes laughed so hard, she almost fell off her seat. I sat back down, bright red with embarrassment.
“Your sexuality is nothing to be embarrassed about, embrace it! And doing the dirty with a witch can really knock your socks off! They have tricks!” She winked at me, laughing.
Jolene rattled at her cage, screaming Daniel’s name.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, jumping up and going to the cupboard to get plates for lunch and hide my embarrassment.
A suspicion was winding its way into my mind. Tricks? Was that why I couldn’t get Daniel out of my mind? Was he playing tricks on me? Let’s face it, it’s not exactly normal to be fixated with a man’s eyes when you’re fighting for your life.
Selina looked at me with a secret smile on her face, and then stood up and opened the oven door. My mouth watered at the amazing smell of the stew, and that was all it took to pert Agnes from her teasing.
After an afternoon and evening of more training, Selina finally called it a day and gave me a hug. “Be safe, witch,” she said, teasing me.
“You too, hag,” I replied as I saw her out.
Agnes was gone when I returned to the living room and I decided to curl up on the sofa with Cat. I hunted the house for him, but he must have gone for a wander. I sighed and decided I would just turn in early and catch up on my sleep. I was mentally and physically exhausted from the day’s events.
As I lay in bed, my thoughts turned to Daniel. I wondered how he was getting on with the search. I thought back to the kiss earlier and groaned with desire. The rattle of the cat flap announced Cat’s return, and within minutes, he sauntered through the bedroom door and jumped up onto his favourite spot, the chair in the corner of the room. I could just make out his feline shape as he did his usual full circle before settling himself down with his head on his paws, staring over at me. In the dark, his eyes shone bright yellow.
But it was with visions of deep brown eyes that I finally drifted off to sleep.
4 - A Secret irritation
Despite the catastrophe that was my life at the moment, I slept surprisingly well. That is, until Agnes pulled open the curtains, allowing the harsh sunlight to invade my previously tranquil space.
“Wakey, wakey, sleepy head! Time to face the day!” She turned to the bed and grasped the end of the duvet, giving it a good tug.
I grabbed at the quickly receding cover and managed to catch it in a vice-like grip, hoping to pull it back over myself and ignore her, but Agnes was amazingly strong considering her four-hundred years, and I eventually gave up and let go. I heard her fly across the room and looked up to see her sprawled across the floor with her legs in the air, treating me to yet another delightful view of her underwear.
I slapped my hands over my eyes and groaned. “For the love of God!”
Cat was gone from his seat, no doubt making his escape as soon as the harpy arrived. I walked around the bed and stepped over Agnes, still lying prone on the floor, before making my way to the bathroom. When I came out, I heard Agnes swearing in the kitchen. Ignoring her, I dressed and then went to see what all the commotion was about, just in time to rescue the kettle as Agnes tried to stand it on the hob she had eventually mastered lighting.
“No!” I shouted, swinging it out of her grasp. “It’s electric. It doesn’t go on there, you plug it in!”
She looked on, confused, as I sat the kettle on its base and switched it on. “Ah!” she glanced between me and the kettle and grinned. “My, I could get used to all these fancy gadgets.” She settled herself around the table and clasped her hands together expectantly. “No oats?”
“I don’t do porridge but there’s granola in the cupboard.”
She looked confused again and I sighed, stamping my way across the kitchen and pulling out utensils and cereal to accommodate my unwanted guest. I slammed them down on the table in front of her and she proceeded to pour herself a generous helping as I returned to the kettle to make the coffee.
The next thing I knew, a piece of dried fruit struck me off the back of my head as Agnes spat the cereal out of her mouth at top speed. “What the fuck? This is rabbit food!” she stared in obvious revulsion at the contents of her bowl.
“Agnes, you’re supposed to put milk or yoghurt in it first, you don’t eat it dry,” I explained.
“Call Selina, get her to bring McDoodles,” she demanded, waving her finger at me.
I snatched up the phone in exasperation but Selina was one step ahead of us, and just as I dialled, the doorbell rang. “Too late,” I told Agnes. “She’s here!”
For a woman of her age, Agnes could move when she wanted to. Within seconds, she was up and out of her chair, pulling open the door to welcome Selina in. I added another cup to the bench and finished off making coffee.
Selina breezed into the kitchen clutching, much to Agnes’ delight, more McDonalds bags.
I picked up the broom and started sweeping up the mess of granola spat across the kitchen as Agnes attacked the bags. Selina took off her coat and sank into a chair, cupping the coffee I had made for her in her
hands. She sniffed up the wonderful aroma then drank heavily from her cup.
“So, what are we up to today?” she asked as I climbed under the table with a brush and pan to get the rest of the mess.
“Ask Sergeant Bilko, if you can get her to say anything in between mouthfuls,” I snapped, getting the last of the dried fruit and oats into the pan.
Just as I was emerging from beneath the table, Daniel materialised directly in front of me, incidentally landing my face in his crotch. I jerked my head back, banging it on the top of the table.
“For the love of God, can’t you use the bloody door like everyone else,” I snapped, rubbing my head and crawling out from under the table. I stood up to find him laughing at me.
“You know, I usually like to be wined and dined first,” he chuckled.
I slammed past him, emptied the pan in the bin, and threw the brush and pan back in the cupboard under the sink.
“Do you fancy a muffin?” Selina asked Daniel, smirking. I looked at her crossly, wondering if she was flirting.
Daniel folded his long legs under him as he sat at the table, reaching for a muffin and taking a big bite, smiling appreciatively at Selina. I slammed myself down into the remaining chair across from Agnes and grabbed at my cup.
“Kettle’s hot if you want coffee,” I said without looking at Daniel.
“I’m good,” he replied. I watched as his sexy lips wrapped around the muffin and he took a bite. Jolene turned up wearing a leather cat suit and sporting a bullwhip. I turned away and took a drink of my coffee.
“Any news?” Agnes asked him.
He swallowed quickly, taking my coffee out of my hands and helping himself to a good long drink, before looking into my astonished face with a twinkle in his eye. I huffed, pushed back my chair and went to make a fresh brew.
“Someone get out of the wrong side of the bed?” I heard Daniel say as I dropped a spoon of sugar in the black liquid and stirred. His chair scraped across the floor and then I felt his hands on my forearms, his body hard behind me and his breath on my ear. “You know, there are things we could do to help improve your mood,” he whispered huskily.
I took the hot spoon out of the cup and slapped the burning metal down onto his hand. He yelped and jumped back as I turned and smiled at him.
“Thanks, but I’m good,” I grinned and took my seat at the table.
“Stop messing about Daniel, and answer the question,” Agnes demanded, coming to my rescue.
Daniel sat back down, shaking his hand to cool it and grimacing at me before turning to Agnes to respond. God, even his grimace was hot. I bitch slapped Jolene.
“No news at the moment, I’m afraid. We know they’ve arrived, we even know which portal they came through, but we just don’t know where they actually are.” He took another drink of my coffee and set the cup down in front of himself.
“They come from Hell through portals?” Selina asked, leaning forward. “Why don’t we just watch the portals and catch them as they come through?”
“It doesn’t work like that, Selina. Any witch or demon worth their salt can make a portal and there are hundreds of them. Plus, they’ve already arrived; watching the portals would be a waste of time. Besides…” he turned to me, “…there are other things much more fun to watch!”
“Pervert!” I snapped. Agnes giggled, not a pretty sight on a woman of her age.
“How’s the training going?” he asked, turning to me.
I willed the coffee cup up and tipped the dregs into his lap. “Great!”
Selina and I burst out laughing and high fived each other as Agnes tutted and grabbed a cloth, patting down Daniel’s crotch. He snatched it out of her hands and clicked his fingers. The coffee miraculously disappeared and I frowned in consternation as Agnes waddled back to her chair.
“Nice one Lauren, but you’ve still got a lot to learn,” he said, grinning at me.
“Will you two stop acting like children, this is serious!” Agnes insisted angrily.
Selina sighed and stared at Daniel, who jumped up and stretched his taught body in a yawn, arms in the air. He was wearing 501 button down jeans and a navy blue zip front jumper. As he stretched, it pulled up giving us all a tantalising view of the tanned, slightly hairy skin covering his torso. I felt the heat rise up my neck and couldn’t tear my eyes away. Oh God, I want to lick him. I took a machine gun to Jolene. Apparently she was impervious to bullets.
Agnes giggled again and Daniel tilted his head to look at me with one eye. “Well!” he said, dropping his arms to his sides and stepping away from the table. “Can’t stop. Places to go, people to see and all that! You ladies enjoy your day. Oh and Lauren?” he looked at me sternly.
“Yes?”
“Well if the answer’s yes, then the next question is my place or yours?” he grinned.
“How old are you? Five? I meant what do you want?” I retorted, unimpressed with his childish humour, although the mention of passionate love had my lower regions tingling painfully.
“Seriously,” he said, not smiling now, “remember the rules.”
I put my coffee down on the table and glared at him. “You are not my mother, my boss or my lover, Daniel Hunter! You don’t get to order me about!”
His closeness was driving me insane and all I really wanted to do was suck his face off. Abigail, my inner angel, rolled out a rocket launcher and Jolene ran for cover.
He lowered his face to mine, propping himself up on the table and grinning. “We can always change my status in your life, if that’s what it takes! Defy me, Lauren, please. I have so many interesting ways in which I can make you submit to my will.”
I felt the dampness seeping through my panties and almost groaned. The rocket launcher obviously hadn’t worked.
“I seem to remember the last time you tried, you ended up rolling on the floor clutching your bits! Any time you want to try again, be my guest!”
He was so close now I could smell him. It was like catnip to a cat. I wanted to crawl all over him. His brown eyes flared and before I knew it, he pulled me out of the chair and against his chest, his lips finding mine in a punishing kiss. I struggled against him, but he was too strong. And to be fair, I didn’t struggle as hard as I could have, Jolene was too busy doing a little victory dance. His tongue forced entry, and this time, I couldn’t stop the groan from escaping as I welcomed him in.
“Get a room!” shouted Agnes. Daniel pulled back and grinned like he’d won some major victory. To add insult to injury, he patted my backside as he marched out the door, whistling.
Agnes arched her eyebrow at me, smirking, while Selina just chuckled then stood up and took the coffee cups to the sink.
“What?” I asked, annoyed. No. Horny. Make that horny. And annoyed.
Selina just sighed as she washed the cups out. “He is so dishy,” she said dreamily.
I pursed my lips.
“Oh, you find him attractive, do you?” asked Agnes, talking to Selina but smiling at me.
“Imagine those big strong arms wrapped around you, the feel of that delicious chest beneath your cheek!” Selina continued as she dried the cups, her eyes twinkling with merriment.
“Yes, he’s a fine figure of a man,” Agnes replied as she leaned back in her chair. “I bet he’s a real demon in the bedroom.”
My chin dropped and I stared at her in amazement.
“Oh yes, have you seen those glutes?” Selina fake swooned and took a seat, fanning herself with the tea-towel.
“Pack it in, both of you,” I demanded. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. The man is an obnoxious pig and Selina, if you like him that much, you’re welcome to him!”
“Ah come now, Lauren. It’s written all over your face! Man up and admit you want to have his babies.” Selina laughed as she dried her hands.
Agnes sniggered as I stormed out of the room on the pretext of visiting the loo. The last thing I needed was Selina watching my face flame. She knew what that mea
nt.
By tea-time, we were all exhausted, sergeant major included. We’d covered a lot of basic but boring spells and preparation work, and now Agnes was teaching us the art of meditation.
Selina and I sat on the floor in the classic pose; legs crossed, arms resting lightly on our knees. In deference to her age, Agnes got to sit on the armchair. I almost bought it until she started snoring. I opened one eye and looked at Selina who was doing the same. We laughed quietly then stood up and tiptoed out to the kitchen.
I went to the kettle and Selina started fishing about in my still empty fridge and cupboards to try and find us something to eat.
“Well, unless you fancy semolina and mouldy cheese, I have to go shopping,” she said as she slammed the fridge shut and turned to me, folding her arms across her chest.
“I’ll go, you keep an eye on grannie Agnes.”
“You can’t leave the house, remember?”
“Selina, it’s a five minute drive to the supermarket. How much trouble can I honestly get into?”
I snatched up my purse and car keys.
“Maybe you should call Daniel first?”
She worried too much! I rolled my eyes at her as I made my way out the door. “I don’t have his number!” I shouted over my shoulder, shutting the door firmly behind me.
It was too hot and too crowded, and I was seriously wishing I’d let Selina come along as I struggled to push a trolley with a dodgy wheel around the aisles, avoiding the spills from a bottle of tomato salsa that someone had thoughtfully smashed on the floor. So far, I’d almost run over a small child and caused havoc when I careened into a display of tinned beans, sending dangerous little missiles rolling down the aisles at an alarming rate. The nearest checkout had a queue of three waiting to be served, but I was damned if I was going to fight with this trolley one step more than I had to. Pulling in behind the last person, I sagged against the handle breathing a sigh of relief.
As the queue went down by one, my thoughts turned to Daniel and I wondered how pissed at me he was going to be for disobeying his instructions. There was something sexy about the way his eyes flashed and his biceps bulged when his temper was riled, and I smiled to myself in anticipation. Jolene growled while I looked at the checkout girl impatiently, wondering what was taking so long.