He thought about the past week and the time he and Cassie had spent together when he wasn’t in the woods with Larry or working on the barn. Mealtimes and quiet times, reading side by side or playing cribbage while Shane slept. They laughed easily together, and he found himself looking forward to being with her. He liked watching her face and how she moved. Last evening, he thought he might have a chance of luring her into his bed, but she refused, saying she was afraid Shane would hear, even though he was downstairs in Shelby’s room. Now with Shelby in the house, it would be impossible. Perhaps he could get her to come out to his cabin.
Cassie was not thinking of Grant at all. She was seated in a chair in the parlor across from the couch where Shane lay on his back with his eyes closed, and she was studying his profile. His face had improved incredibly since a week ago; only a yellow cast around his eyes gave any indication of their former state. All the swelling was gone and the cuts were healing well. He would have fine scars in a few places, but they would just add to his masculine appeal.
His ribs appeared to be giving him the most trouble now that his body bruises were healing, but that was to be expected. Still, it hurt her to see him wince when he moved and she wanted so badly to make it better.
Cassie was madly in love.
She supposed it had started the night he so gently took care of her when she was sick and had quietly grown during the time they had spent together in the house while Shelby was gone. But she hadn’t really recognized it for what it was until she had seen him so badly hurt a week ago. It was then she knew that she loved the man desperately and could barely handle the thought that something so terrible had happened to him. She had wanted to be with him every minute to care for him, but of course she couldn’t handle him alone, as totally helpless as he was. Grant’s offer to stay had been necessary to accept for practical reasons, and she appreciated what he had done for Shane. But he had also monopolized Shane’s evenings as the two men sat and talked constantly, until she felt like an unwelcome guest. Since Grant wanted her to spend the night with him afterwards, she took to going to bed early to discourage him, for she was no longer interested. Shane was the only man she wanted; she knew that now. But unfortunately, Shelby was on her way home, and once again Cassie would be left on the outside. Her time alone with Shane this afternoon was going to be vital to their future together.
“Can I get you anything?”
Shane shook his head without opening his eyes. “No, thanks.”
“Are you excited about Shelby coming home?”
“Excited? I’m glad she’s coming home.”
“I guess you don’t really get excited about much, do you?”
Shane’s face showed the hint of a smile she had come to love. “Why do you say that?”
“You just seem very calm and cool. You don’t react very strongly either way, happy or mad.”
“Not like Dawson, huh?”
“I don’t see Dawson anymore.”
“Nobody does. What’s happened to him, anyway?”
“I really don’t want to talk about Dawson.”
“Was it the argument we had outside?”
Cassie sighed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Dawson and I. I didn’t mean to drive him away.”
“No. Dawson and I had dinner together one night before Christmas and called it quits.”
“I see.”
Cassie’s heart began to pound as she studied his profile. “I’m in love with someone else.”
“Good. The father of your baby, I presume.”
“Hardly.”
Shane brought his knees up and carefully shifted his weight so he could turn to look at her. When his pale eyes rested on her face, a small thrill ran through her body.
“Then why did you have sex with him?”
Cassie drew a deep breath and decided to take a chance. “I didn’t. I was raped.”
“What?” Shane’s eyes were suddenly alive. “By whom?”
“I can’t say.”
“You didn’t know him?”
“I know him very well. I’ve just never told anyone.”
“Do I know him?”
The sudden anger on his face frightened her, and she feared she had made a mistake. Still, she was thrilled that her revelation had elicited such a response from him. Apparently he cared about her, too!
“I can’t tell you, Shane. Nobody knows except my best friend.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Why would I? We’ve never really talked about it except when you asked why I didn’t abort it. We’ve never really talked about me at all, just about this house and about Shelby.”
“Well, if it’s a result of rape, why did you keep it?”
“I told you, people around here don’t go around having abortions like that.”
Shane frowned. “No, instead they have bastards and deformed morons!”
“What?” Cassie fairly shouted.
“Cassie, I’ve seen some pretty odd people around here in the post office and at the hardware store!”
“Probably the Glenns. They’re a whole different story,” she said, momentarily pacified.
“And what about Dawson? What’s his story?”
Dawson again. Cassie sighed to signal her displeasure. “Dawson’s father got some Indian girl pregnant, and the day he was born, the girl’s father brought the baby to the door of the house and handed him to Miriam Penfield.”
“To Penfield’s wife,” Shane said in disbelief. “ And she kept it.”
“He was Nate’s son.”
“Yeah, but isn’t that a little bit above and beyond the call of duty? To take him in and raise him when your husband’s been fooling around?”
“You don’t understand anything, do you? What was she supposed to do? Smother him under a pillow and throw him in the trash the way they do in the cities? She knew Nate was fooling around. He always did. He still does.”
“Why the hell didn’t she leave him long ago?”
“And do what? She had five other kids by then! Being a farm wife’s all she’s ever known!”
Shane’s voice reflected the amazement on his face. “Don’t you people have any pride?”
Cassie stared at him. You people. What were they, another race? And yes, they had pride, pride in their ability to take what comes and make the best of it. But she knew that he would never see it that way, and there was no point in trying to make him.
“Who raped you, Cassie?” he asked again. “Dawson’s father?”
Cassie’s eyes widened involuntarily, and Shane’s face contorted in rage. “That fucking bastard raped you!”
“No!”
“Yes, he did, Cassie. I can see it on your face!”
“He didn’t, Shane! I swear it!”
“I don’t believe you!”
Cassie stared at him in disbelief. What had she done? “Shane, you mustn’t tell anyone that, do you understand? Not anyone! Promise me!” When he didn’t answer, she began to panic. “Promise me, Shane! Not Sonny, not Shelby, not anyone!”
Pain clouded Shane’s face as he reached out for her. “Come here, Cassie.”
She slipped off the chair and knelt beside the couch, resting her head against his shoulder while he slipped one arm around her. “Calm down. I promise I won’t tell anyone, but I don’t see why the bastard shouldn’t be prosecuted.”
Cassie did not answer. She pressed against his warmth, savoring this moment so close to him. She had not planned things to go this way, but perhaps it was just as well. Now that he knew she wasn’t a tramp, maybe he would feel free to love her, too. When he released her, she gently brushed her lips across his cheek, then pushed herself to her feet and left the room to make them both some tea.
“So, he thinks Nate Penfield raped me,” Cassie said.
“Close, but no cigar,” Marcia answered. She held her left hand up before her eyes and played with the large diamond ring that rested against
her wedding band. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?”
“Don’t you see? It doesn’t make any difference. I was so shocked when he said it, I didn’t have time to say ‘no’ before he figured that was it! But the point is, the cares! He really cares! If he wasn’t so hurt, he’d have been off that couch and down the road to kill Nate before I could have stopped him.”
“From what I’ve heard, God’s probably beat him to it. I hear Nate’s got lung cancer pretty bad. It wasn’t emphysema like he thought.”
“Really.”
Marcia’s heavily painted eyes focused on Cassie’s face. “And where’s Sonny these days?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care.”
“I hear he’s over in Glenn Heaven.”
“Could be.”
“You really don’t care, do you?”
“Don’t look at me like that, Marcia. You have no idea what Sonny can be like. All he cares about is himself!”
“It sounds to me like he doesn’t even care about himself anymore. They’ll be burying him next to Nate before you know it.”
Cassie glared at her. “Cut the crap, Marcia. You’re not putting this on me! What more was I supposed to do for him? I tried and tried, but he never even met me half way!”
Marcia looked down into the rainbows floating in her coffee cup. “There’s a lot of good in Sonny. I hate to see him wasted like this.”
“Well, I guess Shelby must feel the same way. She was asking Blake how she could get ahold of Sonny the other day. He’s stopped coming to work altogether.”
“And what did our beloved Blakey say?”
“He said he’ll try to get Sonny to come and see her.”
Marcia glanced up at the kitchen clock above her sink. “Gee, I hate to be a creep, but I’ve got an insurance agent coming by in a few minutes. By the way, did I tell you Teddy and I have decided to start a family?”
Cassie’s face broke into a grin. “No! Great! You’ll be a great mother, Marcia! And you won’t be alone so much!”
“Really. Not that a kid’s going to be that much company at first.” Her eyes rested on Cassie’s belly. “Or do much for my figure.”
Cassie shrugged. “So what? Teddy’ll love you just the same.”
Marcia smiled and looked up at the clock again.
“On my way, “ Cassie said. “There’s nothing worse than having to deal with an insurance agent.”
***
Dawson sat in the ICU waiting room, staring at the TV. Blake and Donna sat beside him, while his sister Claudia read a magazine in the corner and her husband, Tom, slept in a chair. Miriam Penfield sat on a flowered sofa holding hands with Natalie, who was softly crying. Natalie’s husband was home with their children. A third sister, Lenore, was on her way from southern Massachusetts. Nathan Penfield was not expected to survive the night.
Blake nudged Dawson during a commercial and whispered hoarsely at him, as if they were in church. “Shelby was asking about you today.”
“Oh, yeah? Why?”
“She wants to know what happened to you.”
“What did you say?”
“I said I’d let you tell her yourself.”
“Oh, great. Thanks.”
“What did you want me to say? He’s shacking up with Bobby Glenn’s half-wit daughter?”
“Shhh!” The action on “Dallas” had resumed, and Donna could not hear it.
Dawson stared off into space. Why couldn’t she just leave him alone. Blake had told her Dawson didn’t want the job after all. Besides, he had heard Grant McIan was living there now. Shane had been in a car accident or something, and Cassie needed help lugging him around. He had laughed to himself when he heard that. Maybe she wouldn’t be so crazy about him after she’d wiped his ass enough times.
Still he supposed he should go see Shelby. He had moved back in with his ma since Nate had entered the hospital and had managed to stay off the booze for almost a week now. Blake wanted him back on the job, and now that he wouldn’t have to look at Shane for a while, it might be okay. God knew he could use the money. He was into Bobby Glenn for a few hundred bucks and the bastard was getting ugly.
Natalie was sobbing outright now, and Dawson could stand it no longer. He said he was going to the cafeteria; no one chose to join him. He lingered over coffee and a doughnut, wishing it were a beer, and when he returned to the third floor, the waiting room was empty. He ran to the double doors of the ICU and hit the metal plate on the wall. The doors swung open and he hurried in. Nate’s glassed-in cubicle was on the other side of the center nursing station, and he could see his family pressed into the small room. He walked around the center island knowing what he would find. Nathan Penfield, beloved husband and father, had passed on to his reward.
Chapter Eleven
February
The changes to Shelby’s face were subtle, but they were there. The scars seemed to be finer lines, and they were no longer raised. She sat at the table and tried not to grin while Cassie applied the makeup. “Just a little,” Cassie had coaxed her, “to see what it would do.” A little didn’t do all that much, so she applied a little more. The lines were muted somewhat, and Shelby’s underlying prettiness began to dominate. Cassie was thrilled. She applied a soft peach blush to replace the natural color she had covered, then stepped back to admire her handiwork. She looked at Shelby in awe. The woman was beautiful.
“So how is it?”
“Shelby, you’re gorgeous. I mean it. You look absolutely beautiful.”
The sound of male voices outside the kitchen door interrupted their conversation. Feet were stamping and then the door swung open and Grant and Dawson walked in. Cassie had managed to avoid Dawson at his father’s funeral and had not come face to face with him since he had returned to work. She nodded a greeting to him now and told him she was sorry about Nate. He thanked her and quickly looked away, his dark eyes resting on Shelby as she rose to her feet.
“I’m also very sorry about your father.”
“Thank you.” Dawson’s face showed his discomfort as he said, “I’ve come by to explain why I’ve changed my mind about the job.”
“And I’ve come to see if Shane’s ready to go,” Grand said, turning away from them. “I’ve got some errands to run in town, so we’re going in together.”
Shane was standing in the doorway to Shelby’s room. His eyes were trained on the scene at the opposite end of the kitchen, and Cassie could not tell if he was upset or simply reacting to the change in Shelby. Standing without her walker, her nearly flawless face turned upward toward Dawson’s, she must have looked very different from anything Shane had seen before.
“Well, are you ready to have the tape ripped away?” Grant grinned.
“Yeah, sure,” Shane said without a smile. He walked slowly across the kitchen and paused in front of Shelby. “Wish me luck, Shel.” His eyes met Dawson’s, light to dark. “Welcome back.”
Dawson nodded silently.
Grant and Shane left by the backdoor and Cassie went upstairs. Dawson looked down into Shelby’s face and reached out to take her hands so she would know he was there. “I would like to talk to you alone. Would you like to go for a ride?”
Her face registered surprise. “A ride? I thought you couldn’t drive. Besides, I don’t ride in cars any more than I have to.”
“How about a hayride?”
“A hayride? You mean with horses?”
“Yup.”
“Are you serious? I’d love it!”
“You’ll need warm clothes.”
“I’ll tell you where they are!”
Her excitement made Dawson smile as he brought her a gray wool sweater and a black and red plaid jacket. He helped her get her legs into an extra pair of pants and insisted she wear wool socks. A cap and mittens, and then a pair of Maine hunting boots from L.L. Bean and she was ready. He offered to carry her so she wouldn’t slip on the ice, and she let him, holding tightly to him, a wide smile on her face as he carried he
r out into the brilliantly sunny crisp day. Two sturdy Belgian horses stood in the dooryard, hitched to a hay-filled box on runners. They snorted and bobbed their heads as Dawson helped Shelby climb up onto the hay, then climbed up beside her. He had removed the seat and would work the reins from a kneeling position.
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