Wilderness Liaison
Page 14
“Yeah, up until I was about sixteen. Then I got sick of all the training. I had other things on my mind.”
His grin and wriggling eyebrows suggested exactly what had filled his mind at that age. And probably still did, Jodie decided unfairly.
“What about you?”
“Nah, not actual swimming, but I used to enjoy triathlons when I was younger.”
She smiled as his eyebrows rose. “I gave them away a few years ago. Like you, I couldn’t find time for all the training.”
“But you do something to keep yourself fit.”
Jodie noticed it was more an observation than a question. “I do a bit of mountain running, some aerobics, squash, netball in winter, you know, that sort of thing. Nothing much.”
“Nothing much?” Jodie felt heat rise in her cheeks at his wide-eyed stare. She dipped her face under the water to dispel the blush. “No wonder you put the rest of us to shame in the bush.”
Thrilled by the admiration he made no effort to hide, Jodie tried to downplay its affect on her. “I like being outside and enjoying nature. It’s a lot easier to enjoy if you’re reasonably fit.”
The warmth tingling through her body continued to build as she became lost in his intent look. She ran her tongue across suddenly parched lips. Her breath came in short, sharp gasps. Unconsciously swishing her dangling hair away from her face, her hands landed on shoulders looming much closer.
Her heart pounded as the tingle of sexual pleasure grew within her, almost robbing her of her sense of survival. “I can’t do this, Shal,” she murmured as his lips waited so tormentingly close to hers.
Watching his hand come out of the water she shivered, not sure if she had the inner strength to repel him again. His fingers stroked lightly across her lips causing another shiver to run down her body.
She nibbled at her lips, hoping, needing him to stop touching her. He knew what his touch was doing to her. “But you want to, don’t you?” His finger brushed across her lips again. “You’re just putting off the inevitable, Jodie.”
His other hand grazed her breast. He couldn’t have missed her gasp as her body reacted to the intimacy of the touch of his fingers against her erect nipple.
Even as the cool lake water lapped around them, Jodie was aware of the heat from his body—the body that was now even closer.
A ragged sigh escaped. Her head dropped until she felt his bare shoulder under her cheek. She’d stopped fighting the desire engulfing her...just for a moment.
There was nothing to gain from a physical relationship with him, and that’s all this could ever be. Temporarily scratching the itch might appease the moment, but Jodie knew it would subject her to a heartache she never wanted to experience again. She’d make him see sense...in just a moment.
The soft touch of his lips as they wandered across her cheek was easy to disregard, but the tip of his tongue invading her ear sent shivers down her spine and burning heat into the pit of her stomach.
“Tell me to stop,” he whispered.
Oh God. She didn’t want him to stop. She really didn’t. He’d hardly touched her and she was already going up in flames. His fingers lifted her head and his lips began nibbling at hers. She couldn’t hold back the low moan. She felt his smile against her skin.
“Quit fighting, Jodie. Admit you this is a mutual attraction.”
How could she deny it when her body screamed for release? And yet her head still had some control over her wayward emotions. Somehow she found the strength to move away just enough to feel safe.
“You’re right.” Her voice choked as she forced herself to look into his eyes. “I do want to”—she cleared the lump in her throat—“but I’m not going to.”
Regret and guilt surfaced as confusion covered his face. For a moment she wavered. Stiffening her back she knew she had to do this. She had to extinguish the fire burning between them.
His voice was soft when he spoke. “Explain to me. He tapped her forehead. “Tell me what’s going on inside there.”
Opening her mouth, the words refused to come. She swallowed. The struggle between her heart and her mind was hurting so badly. Even Jason...
“If you’d only explain so it made sense...”
He was being so understanding. She blinked rapidly. There was no anger or disappointment in his eyes, just confusion and what she thought might be concern for her.
“I can’t sleep with you and have it mean nothing.”
“Why do you say it would mean nothing?” he demanded. “It would sure as hell mean something to me.”
Securing her arms across her chest, Jodie had to look away so he wouldn’t detect her lie. “It wouldn’t mean anything to me, Shal. It couldn’t. You’re not the sort of man I want in my life.”
Glancing over her shoulder at him as he thumped the water with his fists, Jodie shivered at the displayed anger on his face.
“That’s that, then?” He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him. “I’m not the right sort of man for you?” His eyes narrowed as he thrust his face close.
“You’ve given no real explanation as to why not, or what’s so wrong with me? What are you looking for? Some wimp who’ll trot along behind you like a little puppy dog?”
He flung her away from him. “Well, you’re right. That’s not me.”
Jodie blinked away her tears as he began wading out of the lake, knowing she had to ignore the urge to rush after him—to tell him she didn’t care anymore.
At the edge of the water, he swung around and splashed back toward her. “What exactly is wrong with me?” he demanded.
“I’m a fit and healthy heterosexual. I earn a reasonable living. I’m a decent sort of guy.” He glared into her face. “What makes me so abhorrent?”
Knowing he wasn’t going to give this up, Jodie was forced to reveal the truth. “You’re a townie.”
It didn’t need the shocked disbelief on his face to tell her this sounded ridiculous. Saying it out loud sounded ridiculous to her, too.
How could she explain her fear of becoming involved with someone who held different goals and ideals in his life?
“You won’t sleep with me because I live in a city?” Shal growled. “I’m not the right sort of man for you because I live in a city?”
“I’m sorry, Shal.” She held out a hand, begging for his understanding. “I know that it sounds crazy but—”
“It doesn’t only sound crazy,” he snapped. “It’s stupid and bigoted.” He shook his head, and his beautiful eyes turned hard. “I never took you for a bigot.”
She couldn’t let him turn away. She grasped his arm. “You’re misunderstanding,” Jodie retorted. “We’re different, you and I.”
“Of course we’re different,” he snapped back. “That’s one of the reasons I’m so...” He stopped and glared down at her, “...was so attracted to you.”
Jodie’s heart dropped. Why? This was what she needed to happen—for him to lose his desire to sleep with her. And yet, the distaste on his face caused a huge empty hole to open up inside her. The ache it caused was overwhelming.
Her legs gave way and she sank to her knees as he stalked back to the shore and disappeared into the cabin.
She tried to blink away the tears forming in her eyes, but some joined the water lapping around her neck as she gave herself up to the pain.
Jodie’s lack of movement in the water a long time later caused her to begin shivering. She stumbled to the shore and sank onto the grass. What am I going to do now?
The disgusted expression on Shal’s face had hurt...because he was wrong. She wasn’t a bigot. Was she? Flipping herself over onto her stomach she buried her face in the long grass.
It wasn’t her fault so many townies had shown her their true worth; Jason, Rhys’ bosses, many of the men—and women—she worked with.
They placed money and position above all else. Their search for material assets seemed insurmountable. Jodie moaned as her fists grabbed at clumps of grass.
That doesn’t mean he’s like all the others, whispered a voice inside her head. Maybe he could be different.
Jodie lifted her head and glanced around her beloved bush. She acknowledged that Shal hadn’t behaved as she’d expected here. He hadn’t complained, or baulked at any task. Despite his inexperience, he’d led his team, and—on occasion—had allowed himself to be led by them.
The efforts he’d made to reach Danny, and then help until the helicopter arrived—her heart began to thump—had almost been as good as any experienced tramper.
Her head shot up and her eyes widened as the last couple of days flashed before her. Accepting her guidance, and also using his own initiative, he’d had made excellent decisions that had allowed her to be with Danny.
What about when I hurt my back? her little voice whispered. He’d taken over then, and did everything necessary to care for me.
She groaned, remembering he’d even washed her clothing. She choked on hysterical laughter trying to imagine Jason...
Sitting up, Jodie accepted Shal was nothing like Jason. He’d been wonderful to her here. Shal’s impact was so strong that her negative feelings about the Sanctuary had disappeared. She glanced at the cabin but could see no movement inside.
As she stumbled to her feet and approached she had no idea what she was going to say, but she couldn’t bear for him to think so badly of her. Controlling her lustful feelings was going to be difficult, but as long as her head ruled...
Shal was hunched on the sofa; elbows perched on his knees and his head resting in his splayed hands. While she watched, she heard a huge sigh and his body slumped even more.
Jodie’s heart thumped, she was responsible for this rejection. Glued to the floor, Jodie drank in the sight of him while he remained unaware of her presence. He’d changed, she realised. Touching her own wet clothes, she grimaced. Of course he’d changed. He wouldn’t be sitting on the sofa in soaking wet shorts.
Swallowing a moan, Jodie tried to breathe deeply but found it impossible while her pulse raced at such a rate. Shal being in a clothed state did nothing to halt the flash of responsiveness rushing through her. Memories of those hard muscles flexing under her fingers caused a shiver to run right down to her toes.
Her stomach churned as she instinctively took a step forward, then another step. Shaking fingers fumbled with the buttons on her shirt as he looked up.
Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a flash of panic. She ignored it. She wanted him right here and now, her body was burning for his touch. Why shouldn’t I give in to the moment? So many others do, and are unscathed by the experience. Maybe the memory of having Shal as a lover for a couple of days... She undid one button and slipped her fingers on to the next, her eyes never leaving his face.
“What are you doing?” his voice was hoarse.
“Getting out of my wet clothes.” Her tongue played with her lips, making the movement as seductive as possible. Seeing his eyes drop reassured her she was being successful.
“The bathroom’s that way.” He jerked his head toward the room in question.
Her shirt dropped to the floor and she reached behind to unclip her bra.
“You don’t want to do this,” his strangled voice warned.
“I thought I didn’t”—she slipped the straps off her shoulders—“but I’ve changed my mind.”
“Nothing else has changed though, has it?” He frowned. “I’m still one of those obnoxious townies.”
“I’ve decided I don’t care.” Her bra landed beside her shirt.
Instead of ogling her bare breasts as she expected him to, Shal leapt to his feet. Grasping her shoulders, he gave her a shake. “Well, I do.”
He glared into her face, not six inches from his. “I’m not some plaything you can pick up or put down whenever the mood takes you, Jodie.
“What do you really want? Are you interested in us getting to know each other, and maybe pursuing a relationship when we leave here, or are you looking for a quick shag?”
Surprised at his crudity, her face must have given her away.
“Just what I thought.” He shoved her away, his face full of disapproval. “Then go and find one of your own kind. I don’t shag women.”
Jodie was left staring at the wall. Her shivering had nothing to do with cold. Omigod! What have I done? Grabbing her clothes off the floor she rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
She’d tried to seduce him and he’d rejected her. A sob caught in her throat. How can I face him again? She hadn’t given any thought to what she’d been doing; her heart had been dictating her actions.
Why had she been so certain he’d take whatever she was willing to give and consider the consequences later? In her wildest dreams she couldn’t have contemplated he might refuse her.
Smothering her sobs with a fist against her mouth, she couldn’t stop the tears of humiliation rolling down her cheeks. Taking a deep shaky breath, Jodie stiffened her back. Repeatedly wiping her hands across her cheeks, she jerked off the water faucet.
She wasn’t going to hide in here like some wimp. Dealing with Shal wasn’t going to be easy, but she had no choice. While they were stuck here together she had to take control of the situation.
She’d managed on the tramp so she could manage here. The harm would come later, for she now knew why the mere touch of his eyes, the sound of his voice had made her body tingle these last few days. It hadn’t been annoyance—she’d fallen for him.
****
Shal stood on the knoll near the stream staring out over the lake. He cursed under his breath as he scrubbed a hand around the back of his neck. I handled that well. She was never going to speak to him again, let alone consider changing her mind about him.
He groaned and kicked at a clump of grass, glad of the pain that shot through his bare toes as they encountered solid dirt. Anything to take Jodie’s devastated expression from his mind. Why did I lose my temper? He swore again.
If he’d stayed calm—or maybe he should have taken what she offered—then she might have let him in, explained the reasoning behind these crazy ideas. Kicking the little mound of earth, Shal knew he wasn’t going to figure Jodie out until he found out what had moulded her ridiculous hang-up about townies.
Coming straight out and asking didn’t appear an optimistic option after what had just happened. He had to reckon on another way.
Crackling on the radio from the verandah forced Shal to turn back to the cabin.
“Jodie?” he called. When she made no appearance, Shal picked up the radio and responded to the call.
“I’ll be swinging past in fifteen minutes,” crackled a voice who made no effort to identify himself. “I’ll pick you up.”
As Shal acknowledged this and signed off, he sensed agitated movement behind him.
Chapter Twelve
“Fifteen minutes doesn’t give us much time.”
Knowing well the laid-back pilot Shal had just spoken to, Jodie guessed he could arrive any moment—or within the next couple of hours. Biting the inside of her cheek, Jodie blessed the timing of his call.
John must be flying between two points that were close to the Sanctuary rather than coming specifically to pick them up. That meant he was still busy helping with the floods and wouldn’t want to waste time. They needed to be prepared.
Ignoring Shal, she returned inside, her back straight and her head high. She had more important things to do than worry about facing Mr. Gregory.
The suddenness of their impending rescue had shaken Jodie and forced her to overlook her distress. Gone were worries of dealing with this man, of enduring his rejection. She’d soon be rid of his presence and left alone to deal with the uncontrollable feelings he stirred inside her.
Memories of the intimacy they had shared star
ed her in the face as she frantically looked around inside, seeing the cabin through the pilot’s eye. John was the district’s biggest gossip. Jodie groaned under her breath.
What signs gave away that intimacy? The bedroom for starters. Neither of them had returned to that room. The sheets were strewn all over the place. Condom packets lay on the side table and on the floor. Candles still stood where they’d been placed last night.
“Help clean this place up,” she ordered over her shoulder, tugging the sheets off the bed and stuffing them into a large laundry bag.
She felt Shal’s eyes following her for what seemed like forever before he slouched away muttering. She heard him working in the kitchen. Clamping a desperate hold on her emotions, Jodie continued tidying the bedroom, refusing to think about anything but returning the cabin to its normal state.
By the time she heard the helicopter and saw John landing, she had her pack, the laundry bag, and a rubbish bag all ready to go. Shal glowered at her as he dumped his pack next to hers.
“I won’t come in, Jo. I’m a bit of a mess.” Jodie noticed John’s muddy boots when he stomped onto the verandah. She offhandedly introduced the two men.
“I was heading back from Totara and figured I could swing around and pick you fellas up. Wasn’t much out of my way.”
Jodie forced her mind to focus on anything but Shal’s angry looks. “How is it out there?”
John looked dead on his feet. “Bad. Real bad.” He scratched his unshaven chin, “Still, only one death reported so far. Lady’s car got washed away.” He looked down at the pile near his feet. “These ready to go?”
“Yes thanks, John.”
“Good. There’s a few hours of daylight left yet. I’ll get you fellas back home, then I’m heading for Castleton.”
Sensing the pilot’s hurry, Jodie and Shal rushed through the last few things needing to be done, and then they were airborne.
Instead of the overwhelming relief Jodie expected as the small clearing became a dot in the green canopy, all she felt was a painful heaviness in her chest she knew she’d have to deal with soon. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she avoided Shal’s eyes. Later, when she was alone, there’d be time to sort through all the subconscious feelings and her pain.