by Ann Bloxwich
When Vicky didn’t answer, Laura tilted Vicky’s chin and looked into her eyes. ‘Are you?’
Vicky managed a small nod. ‘Actually, we are. We haven’t spent much time together, but he said after New Year we can maybe go away for a few days and get to know each other properly. You won’t tell Helen, will you?’
Vicky looked worried, but Laura reassured her that her secret was safe. Helen just made it back to her seat in time as the lights dimmed and they turned to face the stage.
3
After a few seconds of silence, a fanfare of music blared out, causing Laura to jump and slop some of her drink in her lap. A single spotlight guided a tall glamourous woman onto the stage to tremendous applause. The woman had a beaming smile on her face, and it took a few moments before Laura realized that it was the drag artiste. She’d expected someone comical, but Kitty McLane was gorgeous. She was dressed in a long silver evening gown, with a pale pink feather boa and long silver gloves. She wore designer shoes, and her dark brown hair was expertly styled.
‘Well, look at you!’ Kitty said in a rich dark voice, ‘Surely you’ve not all come out to see little old me, have you? No, you’re here for the cock – aren’t we all darling?’ she continued, as a woman from the back of the room whooped in reply.
‘Don’t worry ladies, from what I’ve seen backstage, there’s more than enough to go around. Tonight, seeing as it’s nearly Christmas, we’ve got a real treat for you all. There’s not just one, not even two or three. We’ve got four throbbing members for your delight and delectation, all straining at the zippers to meet you. But, until then, you’ll have to put up with me. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kitty McLane, I’m a cock in a frock, a slag in drag, a chick with a dick – call me what you like. I’m here to warm you up. So while my lovely boys get ready for you, let’s have some music and a sing-song. Feel free to join in.’
Kitty launched into the latest number one hit, rapidly followed by some Cher, Shirley Bassey and finishing up with Tina Turner.
Laura found herself singing along with Kitty, totally swept up in the moment. She glanced at Helen, who grinned back at her.
‘Great, isn’t she?’ she shouted over the music. ‘You can keep your strippers, I’d much rather have this.’
‘She’s awesome!’ Laura shouted as she clapped along in time with the music.
Kitty took a bow and announced that the first two strippers were ready to take the stage. ‘Come on ladies, let’s show some appreciation for two lovely lads, I promise they will take excellent care of you. Please put your hands together and open your legs wide for the very talented Fire and Ice!’
Laura was dreading this part. She had no problem with the male body but thought the whole notion of stripping a bit sleazy. However, the two men who took the stage blew her away with their sharp costumes and fabulous dancing. Dressed in army fatigues, they mirrored each other’s movements perfectly. The music had a lot of bass and Laura could feel it pulsing through her body.
Every woman was on her feet, clapping and shouting ‘Off, off, off’ to the men, who seemed only too happy to oblige. They stripped down to their tiny G-strings, showing off beautiful physiques, then ran out into the crowd to grab a couple of women to bring onstage. They sat them on chairs then gave them a lap dance. The two women looked thrilled to have a gorgeous near-naked man writhing all over them. Once they had finished, they escorted the women back to their seats, took a bow and left the stage. A young woman ran on and grabbed up their clothes, slipping and falling with a thud.
‘Epic fail!’ Vicky shouted, pointing at her. The woman looked embarrassed and angry as she exited the stage.
‘Wow, I was not expecting that!’ Laura exclaimed as she sat down and fanned herself.
‘Wait until you see Ray, he’s so much better than those two,’ Vicky giggled. ‘He taught them that routine himself, he said they were a nightmare to train as they hate each other.’
Laura wondered whether to believe Vicky or not. As far as she could see, the routine had been perfect, and the two men had appeared to get on well together. She turned to ask Helen, who had been sitting on her right, but she was at the bar again.
‘Well, they looked really good together to me,’ Laura replied.
Vicky got out her compact mirror and reapplied her lipstick. ‘Looks can be deceiving, trust me. Ray wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. You wouldn’t believe some of the things he tells me.’ She stood up, leaving her coat on the chair. ‘Watch my seat for me, I’m just popping outside,’ she said, disappearing before Laura had a chance to object.
‘Here you go,’ Helen said loudly, handing her a shocking pink cocktail. ‘I can’t remember what this one’s called, but if it gets you pissed then who cares?’ She laughed and belched, making herself laugh again. ‘Excuse me,’ she grinned.
Helen took a hefty swig of beer and sighed. ‘You can keep all your fancy cocktails, nothing beats a good pint.’ She slurped some more and sat back in her chair. ‘What did you think of those two?’ she asked, waving her glass towards the stage.
‘I was very impressed,’ Laura admitted. ‘Their dancing was fabulous.’
‘Ah, you weren’t interested in the dancing, you just wanted to get a look at their dicks,’ Helen chuckled.
‘Hel, keep your voice down for God’s sake!’ Laura protested, looking around to see if anyone had overheard.
‘Go on, admit it,’ Helen urged. ‘You wouldn’t say no if it was offered. How long has it been since you had a good shag?’
‘Okay, if you must know it’s been a while but that doesn’t mean that I fancied either of those guys.’
Helen started tickling Laura until she nearly fell off her chair.
‘Okay fine, I liked them both – are you happy now?’
‘Ooh, you dirty tart! Two at a time huh? Good for you girl.’ Helen lifted her glass in salute and realised it was empty. ‘What happened to my beer?’
‘You drank it, you daft bint,’ Laura laughed. She opened her bag to get her purse, but Helen wouldn’t hear of it and insisted that it was her round. Laura knew better than to argue with her but made a mental note to slip some cash into Helen’s pocket when she got the chance.
Vicky reappeared just as the second stripper came on. He was dressed in a fireman’s costume complete with breathing apparatus and combined his act with an impressive display of fire-eating. A member of staff stood at the side of the stage, armed with an extinguisher and looking very nervous. The whole routine went smoothly, and she looked relieved that she hadn’t needed to use it.
Kitty came back onstage and sang a couple of songs, then announced there would be a short interval. Vicky shot off towards the exit again.
Helen rolled her eyes. ‘There she goes, off to look for knobhead again.’
Laura turned to look at Helen. ‘Why do you have such a problem with her liking this guy? You don’t fancy him, do you?’
Helen laughed. ‘Christ no, I’d rather die! I just think it’s pathetic how she fawns over him. He’d shag anything with a pulse – and probably anything without – but she can’t see it.’
‘Maybe he’s quite nice once you get to know him,’ Laura suggested.
‘He’s a wanker,’ Helen scoffed. ‘Pure and simple. He texts her, teasing her with promises of them being together soon, then he takes another bird home. She thinks he loves her, but he’s laughing behind her back. I’ve tried talking to her about him, but she won’t hear it.’
‘How do you know what he’s been saying?’ Laura asked.
Helen nodded towards the stage. ‘Kitty’s a good friend of mine; we go to the same gym and have coffee together occasionally. She’s known Ray for donkey’s years, and you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff I’ve heard. Kitty said that since Vicky told Ray about her inheritance from her nan, he calls her his meal ticket. He makes fun of her all the time, calling her fat, saying he wished she opened her purse as often as she opens her le
gs and so on. He’s a nasty piece of work.’
‘What a twat!’ Laura retorted. ‘Well, what do we do now? She’s besotted with him.’
‘Give it time, it’ll all blow over.’ Helen said, standing up and stretching her back. ‘The word is that Ray has stepped on a lot of people over the years, using them to further his own career and when it comes to women, he takes what he wants then dumps them.’
‘He sounds awful. How did Vicky get mixed up with him?’
‘It was my fault. Kitty invited me to one of her shows and I took Vicky with me. It was a couple of months ago, when you were away with your parents. He was on the bill and he pulled Vicky up on stage for a lap dance. After the show he was having a beer in the bar and she got chatting to him. As far as I know, she’s been to as many of his shows as she can since then.’
‘I think I need another drink,’ Laura said, holding her hand out for Helen’s glass.
‘Give us a tenner and I’ll go; I’ve got more chance of getting through the crowd than you. Do you want another cocktail, or do you want something else?’
‘Surprise me,’ Laura joked as she thrust a handful of notes into Helen’s hand. Helen headed towards the bar and Laura took the opportunity to pop to the loo. On the way back, she heard raised voices near the stage and turned to see Vicky having a heated exchange with a hefty security man guarding the stage door. When he refused to engage with her, she grabbed his arm and tried to push past him, but he stood firm and shook his head.
She snatched her phone out of her bag and took a photo of him. ‘You wait till I show that to Ray, he’ll have you fired. Then where will you be? Wanker!’ Vicky flounced back to her seat just as Laura got there.
‘What the hell was that about?’ Laura demanded to know.
‘He’s just being a wanker,’ Vicky raged. ‘Ray texted me to say he’s here, but that prick won’t let me through. He’s seen me before so it’s not like I’m a stranger.’
‘He’s just doing his job,’ Laura said, ‘Don’t be so hard on him.’
Vicky snorted. ‘Well, he won’t have his job for much longer!’ She stuck her fingers up at the security man. He looked angry but stayed professional and didn’t retaliate.
Laura didn’t envy him one bit. She turned back to the stage as the lights went down.
4
As the film credits rolled, Alex stretched and stood up. He took Jayne’s hand and helped her to her feet, encircling her with his arms. He began to dance slowly, making her giggle.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked, smiling as she leaned her head against his chest.
‘I was going to have my wicked way with you, seeing as we get so little alone time,’ Alex murmured. ‘But I was trying to be subtle about it.’
‘Sod being subtle,’ Jayne said. ‘This might be the last chance we get before we move.’
‘Then why waste time going upstairs?’ Alex laughed, pulling her to the floor as he kissed her.
***
‘This is so nice,’ Jayne said later, as they snuggled in bed together. ‘I wish we could do this more often.’
‘Your wish is my command, Mrs Peachey,’ Alex said, propping himself up on one elbow and smiling at her. He teased a strand of hair away from her face and started kissing her neck.
Jayne gave him a playful push and he lay back down, drawing her into his arms again. ’You know what I mean. We never seem to get quality time these days, just the two of us.’
‘Maybe once the move is out of the way things will settle down and we can get some sense of normality back,’ Alex said. ‘Hopefully Joel will be happier too, seeing as this bungalow was designed by him.’
Alex cast his mind back to when Joel told them he wanted to build his own house, using the compensation he’d received from his birth negligence case. Alex’s brother Dave had recently bought a derelict farm, complete with twenty acres of land, so had given his nephew an acre for his eighteenth birthday. It had taken a while to find an architect who specialised in accommodation for disabled people, but after a trip to a self-build exhibition they had found one who was happy to design exactly what Joel wanted. The architect was told in no uncertain terms that Uncle Dave was to build it, ‘Because I trust him to do it properly.’ Joel had loved visiting the site every week to see how it was progressing, and now it was almost finished.
‘I’ll have a talk with him, try and put his mind at rest,’ Alex promised. ‘But he needs to know the rules from the moment we set foot in the new place. I’ll make it clear that any form of violence will not be tolerated.’ Alex stroked a faded bruise on her upper arm.
‘He’ll have no reason to play up, he’ll have his own separate living room where he can entertain his friends, and an office for his family tree stuff and whatever other projects he’s got, so with any luck he’ll calm down.’ Jayne said.
‘I hope you’re right,’ Alex murmured as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
5
Kitty came out onto the stage again, this time wearing a midnight-blue gown with matching feather boa. She had changed her blonde wig to a long blonde style that cascaded in waves down her back. She announced Ray Diamond, but this time there was no build-up or praise, and Laura got the feeling that Kitty didn’t like Ray at all.
The lights went down again, and Vicky started bouncing around in her seat. ‘Here he comes! Oh my God, I’m so excited!’
Helen stood up, knocked back the last of her beer and said, ‘Right, I’ll be outside. I’ll come back when that prick is done.’
She walked off, leaving Vicky looking shocked. Laura patted her hand and said nothing.
The music started up and was halfway through the second verse before Ray Diamond finally appeared. He was wearing black leather trousers, a black snakeskin-print shirt open to the navel, and black boots. He also wore mirrored sunglasses, which all the strippers seemed to favour. His long blond hair was left loose and backcombed in the classic 70’s style. He stood still for a few seconds, lapping up the whoops and cat calls from the audience, before launching into a gyrating dance. He quickly discarded his sunglasses and shirt, then poured baby oil down his bare chest, which he slowly rubbed in, his eyes following his hands. He grinned into the crowd and pointed at a large group, making them all scream.
Laura stifled a yawn, then realized with horror that he was looking right at her. He pulled on the waistband of his trousers and they came apart at the seams, leaving him in a tiny black thong, smaller than the ones the other guys had worn, so his cock was barely contained. He coated his chest in more oil, jumped down off the stage, strode over to Laura and sat astride her lap. He grabbed her wrists and pushed her hands onto his chest, forcing her to rub the oil in.
‘Am I keeping you awake?’ he drawled in a lazy voice.
He pushed her hands down towards his cock and Laura pulled her hands away in disgust. God, he really did fancy himself! He just laughed and jumped off her lap, grabbed Vicky by the wrist and pulled her back to the stage with him, moving so fast that she lost her footing. Ray pointed to her shouted, ‘Epic fail!’, mimicking Vicky’s earlier jibe at his assistant. The audience roared with laughter, but Vicky looked upset. He kissed her on the cheek and pushed her to her knees. He produced a large flag, which he wrapped around his waist, encircling Vicky beneath it. As the music changed to something slow and suggestive, he grabbed Vicky’s head and ground his hips into her face. Eventually, she emerged from underneath the flag with his thong in her teeth, a huge grin on her face. He pulled her to her feet and kissed her on the lips before facing the audience, opening the flag and flashing his naked body at them. He took a bow and ran offstage, leaving Vicky to make her own way back down. Laura rushed forward to offer her a hand and she took it gratefully.
‘Isn’t he amazing?’ Vicky shouted over the applause. Her eyes shone like stars and Laura smiled, even though she’d thought he was terrible. The earlier performers had outshone Ray by a mile.
A few
seconds later Vicky’s phone beeped, and with a squeal of delight she hugged Laura and rushed off to the stage door. As Ray opened the door Vicky stuck her tongue out at the security guard and walked past him as if she owned the place.
6
The disco that followed the show had everyone on their feet, and as the night wore on Laura and Helen danced to everything from The Macarena to the Cha Cha Slide. By 11.30 p.m. Laura’s head was pounding but at least her feet had stopped hurting. She tried to ring Vicky, but it went straight to voicemail.
‘Balls to her then, I’m going home,’ she said to herself. She looked around for Helen but couldn’t see her, so went outside and rang for a taxi. As she put the phone in her bag, she spotted Helen standing in the field at the side of the club, waving at her. She had an ice bucket in her arms, gripping it as if her life depended on it and swaying dangerously.
‘What are you doing in there? Come on,’ Laura scolded.
Helen climbed back over the fence, caught her jeans on the wire and Laura had to grab her to stop her falling over. As they crossed the car park a fight broke out between a group of drunken women. Helen was keen to go and have a look, but Laura quickly dragged her away.
‘Stay here with me. The taxi will be here in a minute and if you wander off someone will nick it.’
Helen belched loudly and was violently sick on the path, missing the ice bucket but spattering her friend’s coat with flecks of regurgitated beer. Laura stepped back quickly and fell over, causing Helen to roar with laughter before she sat down suddenly, narrowly avoiding the puddle of sick.
Laura got up and grabbed Helen’s hand, pulling her up with a heave. ‘Hel, the taxi’s here, let’s go.’
Another woman tried to open the door to the taxi, but Helen grabbed her by the lapels and leaned close to her face. ‘Mine!’ she hissed, breathing sour fumes into her face. The woman shrieked and pulled away, retreating to the far side of the car park.