Bennet would have his lesson first, as always, and then Mary knew it would be her turn to go to Monsieur Hubert. Only this time, she expected, they would not have a proper lesson, but instead a discussion about the future – their future… together. It still surprised her to think of it, although she had had three weeks to accustom herself to the idea. Was she mad to think of accepting him? Sometimes she wondered, and yet that is exactly what she was prepared to do if he answered certain remaining questions to her satisfaction.
What her torturous deliberations had really come down to was that she could no longer imagine herself being satisfied as governess to someone else’s children, an expendable appendage to someone else’s family, not when there was still the possibility that she might have her own – a husband and children that she could become attached to without the risk of being obliged to give them up at some future point in time. She had learnt that much at Netherfield – that she must never again attempt to love by halves. Without knowingly consenting to it, her whole heart had become entangled, fully given over to the Farnsworth family, and it still bled every day at being torn away from them. Months of separation had not stemmed the tide of that grief, and she refused to expose herself to that kind of pain again.
She was perhaps safer at Pemberley. Even if for some reason the children were ultimately removed from her charge, they could not be removed from her family. She would see them from time to time, watch them grow up from a distance, and yet they would never be fully hers either. Monsieur Hubert offered her what no one else had – the chance for a home and family of her very own – and she found that in the end she could not pass it by.
Mary left the window and turned her attentions to amusing her four-year-old nephew. She began to read him a story, and then, when he lost interest, she offered him the use of the blocks recently abandoned by his elder brother. After he had worked away at these for a few minutes, she asked him, “Are you building a wall, Edward? Or is it a castle?”
“Not a castle. A church.”
“Ah, that is a very good idea. Is a church your favorite kind of building, then?”
“A church has a high steeple,” the boy said as he added another block to his growing tower.
“Yes, indeed,” agreed Mary. “And do you especially like to build something tall?”
Little Edward nodded. “So I can smash it down again.” With a yell, he fiercely swept away the foundation of the building with his dimpled hand and sent all the blocks clattering across the floor.
The door to the nursery opened at the same time, admitting the child’s mother. “Good heavens,” exclaimed Elizabeth. “What a racket! Ah, Edward. I might have known. Jenny,” she continued, addressing the nursery maid cheerfully. “I must steal my sister away for a while. You can manage on your own, I trust.”
The maid said that she could manage very well.
“Excellent. Mary, come with me,” said Elizabeth most insistently, holding out her hand.
Mary followed her sister from the room without protest. “What is it?” she asked outside. “Can I do something for you?”
“You can indeed,” said Elizabeth, hurrying her down the corridor. “You can indulge me in my determination to see that you should take some air today. See how the weather has cleared,” she added, gesturing toward the large Palladian window above the stairs, through which the sun was streaming. “You need some exercise to put a little color in your cheeks, Mary. You have been far too long confined inside. It is not healthy.”
“Exercise? Now?”
“Of course! I heard you say only this morning that you fancied a turn out of doors, and this clearing may not last. Now, go to your apartment and get properly dressed at once – heavy boots and that blue coat you look so well in. Although the weather is fair for the moment, it is by no means warm.”
They had by this time reached the door to Mary’s bedchamber. “Wait,” she said. “I do not understand you, Lizzy. Why are you so determined to get me out of doors? And what about Monsieur Hubert? He will be expecting me in less than half an hour, so there is not time for a walk.”
“Have no worry. I will keep Monsieur busy for you when Bennet is through.” Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, and then continued brightly, “The truth is that I have had a sudden inclination to take a music lesson myself, and I would be much obliged if you would be so kind as to step aside for me, just this once.”
“But…”
“No more objections, Mary. My mind is quite made up, and I will brook no refusal. You simply must humor me in this. It will be for the best, I promise you.”
Still somewhat mystified, Mary did as she was told; she entered her rooms and set about making the necessary alterations to her attire. If her sister wished to take a more serious interest in music, she would certainly not be the one to discourage it. And it was also true that she had desired an opportunity to take a tour out of doors. It might be the very thing needed to give her courage, she thought – to clear her mind and sharpen her resolve. No doubt Monsieur Hubert would be waiting when she returned. A little delay would make no difference. He would not come all this way without seeing her, without hearing the answer he had been promised.
An inexplicable anticipation built within Mary as she prepared for her outing – almost an urgency. On the surface, the stark winter picture out her window looked inhospitable, yet somehow it was, in a deeper way, fiercely compelling. It called to her. It invited her to inhale deeply of its bracing air, to feel its enlivening chill penetrating her lungs. She saw herself, not strolling, but running to embrace the cold landscape, to fly with abandon across the snow and away from the confines of the house, if only for a little while.
Down the stairs she skipped. Elizabeth was waiting in the front hall, her eyes sparkling with the same kind of animation Mary herself was feeling at that moment.
“Off you go, then,” said Elizabeth, smiling mischievously. “Take as long as you like; I will manage things here.”
“Thank you, Lizzy. I still am not certain why you thought of it but… I am ever so glad you did.” Impulsively, Mary kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. She quickly donned her fur-lined gloves and pulled her woolen hat down over her ears. Then she opened the door and stepped out onto the porch, straight into the presence of Mr. Farnsworth.
47
Unexpected Visitor
Mary’s heart leapt within her chest and her stomach became likewise unruly. A dozen questions sprang to her mind at once. Mr. Farnsworth at Pemberley? Was it really he? What was he doing there? How had he found her? And what could he mean by coming so far? Could it be he wished to tell her she was forgiven for Michael’s fall, to let her know the boy had recovered? Or was it possible he wanted her to return to being governess at Netherfield, as she had longed for every day since she left the place?
But Mary said none of these things. She simply stared at Mr. Farnsworth, unbelieving, whilst her sister quietly closed the door behind her.
“Hello, Mary,” he said, warmly returning her gaze.
“Mr. Farnsworth,” she answered in little more than a whisper.
“Thank you for agreeing to see me. Shall we walk?” He motioned with his outstretched hand that Mary should lead the way. “Your sister said you were wanting a turn in the garden.”
Mechanically, Mary started off. “Did she?”
“Yes. Mrs. Darcy has been most helpful.”
They moved down the steps together and in the direction of the lake. Although the walk had been largely cleared of snow, the frozen remnants crunched with every footfall. At length, Mary recovered her manners and her power of speech enough to enquire, “You are well, I trust, sir? And the children also?”
“We are, thank you. It has been a trying time, though. For you as well, I think. I worried when you went away so abruptly, under duress it seemed, and without giving any specifics about where you were going and how you were to live. London is a big place, and all my inquiries after you led me nowhere. Now I know why, of course, for
I take it you have been here all along.”
“I am sorry that you should have wasted any thought for me at such a time.”
“Michael is nearly recovered now, thank God. He is up and walking and will soon be terrorizing the staff like before, I daresay. But perhaps you have already heard.”
“Yes, through Mrs. Brand, and you cannot imagine how pleased and relieved I was for the news. Was it she who also told where I had gone? I had not thought her so untrustworthy.”
“Mrs. Brand? No, she said not a word. It was through quite another source that I was informed of your true whereabouts… and less than a week ago, else I would have come sooner.” He received a quizzical look from his companion. “It was by your sister’s information. Mrs. Darcy wrote me.”
“Elizabeth! She wrote to you? Why on earth should she do that?”
“That is something you shall have to ask her yourself. I am only very grateful that she did.” They had come to the edge of the lake and both paused to take in the view out across it to the rambling meadows beyond. The air was clear with only a wisp of mist hovering above the face of the water. “I have long desired to see this place, and it is every bit as beautiful as I had heard.”
“Still, I am sorry you have had the trouble of such a long journey, and in bad weather too. It was generous of you to come when a letter might have served as well to tell me of Michael’s recovered health.”
“A letter could never have said the things I wish to say to you, Miss Bennet.”
“Let me speak first, sir, please. You must allow me to tell you again how very sorry I am about Michael’s accident. Naturally, I take full responsibility. And even if you can somehow forgive me, I shall never forgive myself.”
“For what? For allowing a boy to climb a tree? How could you have known what would happen?”
“’Tis a governess’s job. I should have been able to foresee the danger and prevent it.”
“Then you have an exceedingly high opinion of a governess’s abilities!”
“What?”
“Oh, never mind, Miss Bennet. Another time perhaps we shall debate which one of us has the greater share of guilt where Michael is concerned. The material point is this. I knew my son liked to climb trees, and I did not forbid it. So you were not responsible for enforcing a rule that did not exist. That is the plain truth of the matter, and I will listen to no further argument on the topic.”
Mary had been fully prepared to battle on in proof of her own guilt. However, when she considered Mr. Farnsworth’s statement, she could find no fault with it, no error in logic by which to attack it. She therefore had no choice but to give up the campaign. “Very well, then, tell me how the girls do. I have missed them so. I hope you have not been persuaded to send them away to school.”
“No, indeed! I have no clue where you ever got the idea into your head that I might. Michael, of course, must go to Eton eventually, but not until he is stronger. He will do very well with the new governess for another year at least.”
Mary’s heart sank. “The new governess,” she repeated dully.
“Oh, did not I say? Yes, I have engaged a Miss Ellington. She comes highly recommended and seems to be getting on quite well with the girls. Even Michael likes her.”
“I see,” said Mary. It was all she could manage. She started away from him, down the path.
Farnsworth hurried to follow. “Are you not pleased for them, Miss Bennet? To know that your former pupils are in capable hands?”
“Pleased?” She knew she ought to be. “Oh, yes, that is excellent news, only…” She broke off, uncertain how to continue.
“Yes, Miss Bennet. Only what?” he asked eagerly.
Deciding she had nothing to lose, Mary continued. “Only why are you here, then, if not to ask me to return to Netherfield?”
“Oh, but I am here to ask you to return, Mary, only not as the governess. I am come to offer you an entirely different position.”
Mary stopped in her tracks and held her breath until she should hear more, a small, hopeful voice whispering one explanation – one glorious possibility, although she dared not believe it. She had made the mistake before of seeing love where there was none; she would not skip ahead only to be tripped up and humiliated again.
All Mr. Farnsworth’s natural bravado deserted him, and he suddenly seemed more like an uncertain youth. He dropped his eyes, turned, and retreated a few paces. “It was dreadful when you went away,” he said finally.
“Michael’s accident,” added Mary. “Yes, a terrible time for you, for all of you.”
“It was.” He let that thought rest a moment. Then he returned to face her. “Yet that is just the thing, you see. I realized then, more than ever before, that I needed someone beside me, someone I could confide in and depend on – a woman I loved. Do you understand me, Mary?”
So that was it, she thought. He had come to tell her he was getting married. “Miss Hawkins, I suppose.”
Farnsworth looked confused. “Miss Hawkins! How did she enter into this conversation?”
“I understood that… Well, if not she, then you must mean… you must mean your sister; you needed Miss Farnsworth beside you.”
“No! Blast it all, Mary, sometimes you can be the most exasperating female! Must I spell it out for you? It was not my sister that I wanted when Michael fell ill, and certainly not some feather-brained girl just out of the schoolroom.”
Mary’s irritation flared at his arrogant tone. “Who, then?” she demanded. “And there is no need to shout at me.”
“Well, if you must know, it was you, confound it! You were the one I wanted to share my troubles with… and you were the first one I wanted to tell when Michael opened his eyes again. Look, Miss Bennet, I know I am an old fool and a despot besides, but here’s the thing. I love you, and I would rather quarrel with you for the rest of my life than go one day without you again. So what do you say? Will you marry me?”
Mary’s annoyance instantly dissolved, replaced by shock of the pleasantest variety. It was not the most romantic proposal, to be sure; however, there could be no doubt of its honesty and strength of feeling.
“Sorry,” Farnsworth added quietly. “I had something much more elegant and complimentary planned.”
Still in somewhat of a daze, Mary said, “It is quite all right, sir. I… I appreciate your straightforwardness, and I do not desire flattery in any case.”
“Then tell me what you think of the idea.”
Mary drew a deep breath of the frosty air to give her time to collect her thoughts. “I am very sensible of the high compliment you pay me, Mr. Farnsworth,” she continued. “Indeed, I am quite overwhelmed by it. But if I accept your proposal, what will your smart London friends say – oh, and your poor sister! – when they discover you are to marry the governess? They will surely regard it as nothing short of infamous.”
“They will do no such thing or they are no friends of mine! And that goes for my addle-brained sister as well. They shall, every one of them, recognize you as a lady of quality – would already know you to be such if you had allowed me to introduce you at the house party ball.”
Mary glanced at him in surprise. It was a long time since she had thought of that event. Michael’s accident immediately following had overshadowed everything that had gone before. How different must be her interpretation of that incident now, in light of Mr. Farnsworth’s proposal. “Then you really did wish me to come?”
“Of course. I said so, did I not?”
“Forgive me, but I believed…” She shook her head. “Well, never mind what I believed.”
“You suspected me of ulterior motives, I suppose. Is that why you declined? Look here, Mary. I admit I enjoy a lively verbal joust as much as a good game of chess, especially with a worthy partner. In the end, though, I am a plainspoken man and you can take me at my word. I invited you because I wanted you to come and enjoy yourself. I was desirous that you should meet my friends, that they should meet you… and that we mi
ght dance together. I even swallowed my pride so far as to take a private dancing lesson in London, since you declined the office of teaching me, so that I might not injure you or embarrass myself at the ball. You cannot imagine my disappointment when you refused to come.”
“I am sorry now that I did.”
“Well, despite all that, I had no intention of giving you up. I was determined to battle on as long as there was any hope left to me, although lately I must confess to being rather afraid of coming in a distant third in the contest for your affection.”
Mary laughed at the absurdity embodied in the idea of as many as three men vying for her heart at once. “The contest for my affection, you say! Then where are your rivals, sir? Point them out for me, if you will.”
“One, I know for a certainty, has already declared himself, and I believe he is this minute awaiting you in the music room.”
Mary felt a stab of conscience at needing to be reminded that her dear music master waited, even now, in hopeful anticipation of her answer to his proposal. To Mr. Farnsworth she said, “Your amaze me, sir. How do you purport to know this?”
“Here again, your sister has been most helpful. As for the other… contender. At one time at least, I rather imagined you had become quite attached to your cousin Mr. Collins. It drove me insane with jealousy to think of it, which is when I first knew that I had lost my heart to you. And now the man has been here at Pemberley with you for more than a fortnight, I believe. Has he come in ahead of me as well?”
“Ah! Mr. Collins. Yes, there is some truth to what you say. However, you will be pleased to hear that that gentleman has very honorably retired from the field of battle. He has in fact, sometime past, taken himself out of the running altogether by secretly marrying my sister Kitty.”
B00BKPAH8O EBOK Page 27