Is this wonderful man for fucking real? “I can’t believe that you would do that for us,” I say in awe. I look at him, wanting to throw myself into his arms and kiss him all over with loving gratitude. I find it painful having to show so much restraint in front of my girls. I know for them to see me being so affectionate with another man would just be too much to bear at this present time. It doesn’t however, make the urge to do so any less stronger.
Jonny smiles. “I just want you all to be happy, Jessica.”
“Thank you.” I blink beneath my loving lashes. My beautiful man, never ceases to amaze me.
“Does that mean you are moving up to Cheltenham, Mum?” Lottie asks excitedly.
“Not moving up properly, darling. Just that we will have a place for us all to stay in when I am in Cheltenham.” I tell her, stroking her arm.
“How often?” Lissy is insistent when she joins the conversation again.
Jonny looks at her with genuine concern then looks back at me. As soon as he catches Lissy’s eye, he speaks low and soft. “I am going to New York in a couple of weeks’ time and won’t be back for a few months. If we get a place sorted straight away, there is nothing stopping your mum from seeing you every weekend. Once I am back, I would love for you both to come and stay in Chelsea with me and your mum on the weekends,” he nervously pauses. “That is only if you want to of course?” I stare at him, wanting to hold him so badly. This is Jonny trying to make things right, and for me . . . he does!
“Really?” For the first time, Lissy’s face is illuminated with happiness. Her stiff body begins to relax and her eyes are less hollow. Jonny clasps both his hands together, resting them on the table in front of him. He has the girls’ full attention again and continues in his crusade to make things right. “I can only imagine how hard it has been for you girls since I have been with your mum, but I love her very much and I am not ever going to try and replace your Dad. You will only ever have one Dad, but I certainly hope we can at least be friends one day?”
All our eyes now rest on him, my selfless and thoughtful Jonny. If I could have loved him anymore, it was at this precise moment, putting aside his own feelings and thoughts. He has clearly put the needs of the girls first, knowing how much it would mean to them.
Without thinking, I reach for his hand. “I am speechless, Jonny. All I can say is thank you.” I tell him, trying to convey my love and gratitude.
He simply smiles as the waitress arrives with our food. As the girls happily tuck into their lunch, we look deeply at one another from across the table. A silent, all-consuming and powerful feeling of love invisibly passes between us. I mouth “I love you” to him, his eyes slowly close like he is tasting those three little words, savouring each consonant and vowel I sweetly give to him.
After a relaxed lunch, Jonny leaves the girls and I to do some shopping together. The first meeting between them has definitely broken the ice. I can tell Lottie actually likes him. Lissy, on the other hand, is wary and cautious to show any emotion. Her thawed demeanour towards him, after being told about the flat in Cheltenham, is a definite improvement and is at least something to build upon now.
The girls enjoy the hustle bustle of shopping in central London. I am loving being able to spend time with them and treat them both to a new outfit and shoes. We almost skip along together, laughing and joking like all that has happened has been thankfully put on pause. The joy that I feel to finally have Lissy and Lottie beside me, allowing me to be their mother again, is something I cannot put into words. The afternoon passes by all too quickly and soon Simon is collecting us.
“Afternoon ladies, I can see you have all been shopping. Is there anything actually left in any of the stores?” He laughs; his young, handsome face is cheery and friendly.
I stand beside the open car door, watching the girls bounce into the back of it. “Just spoiling my girls, Simon. It has been a while,” I reply.
As I am settling into the back, Simon leans down slightly from outside the passenger door so he is able to see the girls. “Well, it certainly looks like you have both enjoyed your shopping experience in London then?” He grins.
“I have loved it! Mum, come and sit in the middle of us?” Lottie enthusiastically answers Simon, patting the seat beside her.
I am blissfully sandwiched between Lissy and Lottie. Now comfortably seated, I wonder whether the girls may have changed their minds about staying. “So are you girls both sure you want to go home tonight, instead of staying over?”
Lissy looks at Lottie. “Mum, I think Dad may get a little upset if we did.”
“I don’t mind calling him.” I say, putting my arm around her.
“It has been a great day, but I think it is best if we go home and . . .” Her painful pause makes me realise I am pushing her too hard.
I pull her to me. “You are not ready yet, are you?” I ask. Lissy shakes her head in reply.
I kiss her cheek, rubbing her shoulder. “That’s okay, my darling. Besides, as soon as I get back I am going to have a look at some places to rent and we will soon be seeing a lot more of each other, won’t we?” She gently nods.
“I cannot wait, Mum.” Lottie loops her arm through mine, resting her head on me.
“Neither can I darling.” Putting my free arm around her, I pull her into me. It feels so wonderful to do this again . . . to be a mother again.
“Thanks for today, Mum,” Lissy’s soft voice is music to my ears.
“Thank you for coming to see me and for meeting Jonny. It means a lot . . . to the both of us.”
Lissy casually shrugs. “He’s not too bad, actually.” My heart nearly bursts out of my chest at Lissy’s four simple but significant words, knowing we have indeed turned a huge corner. I hold her so tight, feeling complete love and pride for my beautiful fourteen-year-old baby.
“I really like him, Mum. Do you think he knows The Wanted?” I laugh with an overwhelming feeling of contentment at Lottie’s completely random question.
Tilting my head, I answer her. “Maybe he does, Lottie.”
“Oh, my God! Can you ask him?” she begs, clapping excitedly.
“I will, darling, but I have something to ask the two of you. On the 22nd of December, which is the Saturday before Christmas, Jonny and I are having a party. I really would love for you both to be there so you can meet everyone?”
“Like who, Mum?” Lottie asks with a big carefree smile on her face.
My smile widens. “Well, Jonny’s mum Helena will be there. As will Beef and Mary, our lovely housekeeper. Oh, and Harry and Stephanie will be too, they are Jonny’s oldest friends. You will also meet Jonny’s agent, Jay Scott and of course Lydia will be staying with Jake, too.” I eagerly tell them.
“Would we have to stay the night?” Lissy asks with a serious look on her face once again.
Two steps forward . . . one step back. Remember to have patience, Jessica! “It probably would be best, darling. It is in the evening, so it would be very late for you to travel back to Cheltenham if you didn’t stay. I know it’s a lot to ask but it really would mean a lot to me if you would at least think about coming. I don’t mind ringing your Dad if you’d rather not ask him?” I gently question.
Lissy shakes her head. “I think it would be best if we ask, Mum. It’s just I don’t want to leave Dad all alone over Christmas.”
I shift in my seat, so I can look at her. “You won’t, Lissy. Simon can pick you both up mid-morning on Saturday and take you back on the Sunday, so you will be home for all of Christmas with your Dad. Just have a think about it, that’s all I am asking. If you really don’t want to come, then I will hopefully have somewhere to stay by then. I will pop up on Christmas Eve instead, to see you both.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to see you.” Lissy holds me tightly by way of an apology.
I affectionately stroke her cheek, reassuring her with a smile. “I know, darling. I honestly do understand why you don’t want to leave your Dad.”
&
nbsp; Lissy frowns. “He is just so unhappy at the moment. I kind of feel guilty for feeling happy now that I’ve seen you, Mum.” I hold her sweetly innocent yet guilt-ridden head against me. Guilt is just like a virulent disease . . . a contagious shitty disease!
“Believe me, Lissy, I understand.” More than you’ll ever know, my beautiful girl! I silently say to myself.
“I would love to come Mum, but only if Lissy comes too,” Lottie speaks up, wearing a faint smile. I love how she is sticking by her sister on this. They have grown so much closer since I last saw them. They have had to mature quickly and have obviously been leaning on one another for everything. I am just so incredibly proud.
I pull on them both. “So, I will leave it up to you, then? Maybe speak to your Dad and see what he says, then we can go from there. Okay?” Lissy’s precious blue eyes look up at mine, gently nodding in agreement. I start writing down all of my telephone numbers that the girls will need to have.
“Here is my mobile number and my home number, too. Will you both text me later so I can have your numbers?” I hand the card to Lissy.
“Okay, Mum,” They jointly reply.
For the rest of the journey, we chat about everything and anything. Cramming in as much conversation as possible until we reach Chelsea. When Simon pulls up outside the grand home I share with Jonny, I can’t help but smile at each of the girls faces; their eyes are wide in amazement.
“Wow,” is all which comes out of Lottie’s usually forthcoming mouth.
“It is beautiful, Mum,” Lissy whispers, her mouth slightly agape as she tries to take in the impressive building before her.
“Just you wait until you see inside. I looked just like you both do now the first time I saw this place.” I giggle.
A look of disappointment crosses Lottie’s face as she glances at Lissy who is smiling apologetically at her sister. “I wish I could come in, Mum.” Lottie says, with slumped shoulders.
I take hold of her lowered chin. “Listen my darling, hopefully you will be able to come really soon. We don’t want your Dad getting upset if we don’t ask him properly, do we? Ask about the 22nd and if your Dad agrees that you can come, I will be able to give you the grand tour then, okay?”
Lottie pouts, “Okay.” Part of me is elated by her obvious disappointment. I honestly never thought I would see the day when either of my girls would actually want to set foot inside Jonny’s home. However, my maternal instincts prevent my inner happiness from staying with me for too long when I look at Lottie’s downhearted little face. I kiss both their precious heads, embracing them so very tight and not ever wanting to let either one of them go.
Preparing to say good-bye is giving me palpitations. This is going to be too painful for words. I hold a hand to both of their cheeks. “Thank you both for a wonderful day. Remember I love you very, very much.” I tell them, with tears precariously teetering on my lower lashes.
“We love you too, Mum.” Lissy throws her arms around me, her body is jerking with each of her choking sobs.
“Please don’t cry baby, it is going to be okay.” While I am comforting Lissy, Lottie then breaks down and wraps herself around my back. I am sandwiched between my two distraught daughters. I know I need to stay strong for them but it feels impossible to do so. I end up fighting back my tears with a heart that hurts to even beat. “Listen to me; you have my numbers now, so you can call me anytime.” Lottie pulls back; I lift Lissy’s head from my chest. “Everything will work itself out, I promise. But right now I have to get you back to your Dad . . . we will speak later . . . yes?” They both nod. I quickly step out of the car fighting back my tears.
Simon knows I am needing to hear words of comfort right now. “I will ensure they get home safely, Jessica.”
I gratefully touch his arm. “Thank you, Simon.” I turn around, blowing a kiss to my beautiful girls. They wave, finding comfort in each other’s arms. I smile with sadness veiling my face. I welcome my sadness because it’s a different kind of sadness, a bittersweet sadness. I now know my girls care about me and still need me to be their mother. For all of my failings as a wife, they still want me in their lives. The way they have handled everything, makes my heart swell with enormous pride. I have never felt more proud to be their mother.
Stepping out of the lift, I am eager to see Jonny. I need his comforting arms around me right now, as I replay over and over Lissy and Lottie’s faces as the car pulled away from the side of the pavement. I search for him in the two reception rooms but he’s not there. My pace quickens towards the kitchen, again there is no sign. I become much more aware of the unusual silence in the apartment with nobody around. Where is everybody? I rush up the curved stairs to check our bedroom, beginning to panic when I don’t see him in there either. The bedside lamps are on and the clothes he wore earlier are neatly laying on the bed; I still quietly panic.
When I step back out into the hallway. It is only then that I hear the faint sound of music coming from the top floor. I follow the melodic brooding beat of Massive Attack all the way up the stairs and into the gym. The lighting is low as I walk past the gym equipment, heading towards the hot tub outside. I am so relieved to see the back of Jonny’s muscular and toned shoulders. His head is gently nodding to the rhythm of the cathartic music that is playing while he relaxes in the water.
“There you are! I have been looking for you.” I skim my hands slowly from the top of his shoulders, all the way down his arms. Leaning forward, I kiss his saturated neck.
Jonny’s broad smile greets me as the steam from the water seductively snakes all around him. “Hey beautiful, how was your day?”
I smile. “Wonderful, I really cannot thank you enough for what you did today, Jonny. My words seem unable to express just how much it has meant to me.”
His wet arm caresses my hand. “I think I know, Dimples. So, are Lissy and Lottie okay?”
My smile fades, remembering the sadness of having to say farewell to them only moments ago. “I think so. Lottie wanted to stay, but Lissy didn’t want to upset Shawn. They are going to ask about our Christmas party instead. I hated having to say good-bye to them, though. It was emotional, to say the least.” I sadly explain.
Jonny brushes his assuring thumb across my hand. “You have them back in your life now, Jessica. There will be plenty of opportunities to see them. Especially now that I have sorted out a place for you to stay together in Cheltenham. There is nothing stopping you from seeing more of your girls now.” I quickly stand straight, stepping to the side of the hot tub so I can see his glorious face properly.
“You have found a place already?” I ask with wide eyes and a less than attractive gaping mouth.
He proudly replies with that grin I love so damn much, “I have.” My emotions take me by surprise, before I can stop them I am crying. I hear the water splashing around as Jonny rushes forward to hold me.
“Why are you crying?” he sweetly demands.
“I am just so bloody happy right now. I have my girls and I have the most amazing man in the world,” I blurt through my silly tears.
“Really? Where is the lucky fella?” I look at Jonny’s slanted, mischievous grin. His playful eyes are deliciously bright and wide.
Edging closer, I whisper into his parted lips. “He is hot, wet and right here.” I kiss him hard. His heated lips take my breath away. My knees feel like they are about to buckle, but before they do; Jonny lifts me into the water. With his mouth never leaving mine, he lowers me into the hot water; a playful shriek escapes my mouth.
“Well, Dimples. It would seem, I have not yet had the pleasure of fucking you in the hot tub.” Jonny breathes against me.
I seductively lift my lashes. “Mr. Riley, I do believe you are right,” I purr back.
“Come here, you.” He leans back against the side of the tub, pulling me into him.
My red dress is floating and dancing amongst the bubbles all around me. I place my hands around the back of his neck, sitting on his lap. We kiss
with impatient urgency, clawing at each other with hurried hands. Jonny pulls my saturated thong to one side as I lower myself onto his ready cock. This isn’t about us needing to make slow, sweet love. This is us doing what we do best, fucking at its finest. It is going to be hurried, primal and fan-fucking-tastic! I hold tightly to the side of the hot tub, moving buoyantly up and down his thick length. Throwing my head back, I ride him faster and deeper; our bodies soaked by water and desire. His groans drive me wild with excitement. Sexy spatters of water splash down onto the decking as our bodies fuck hard beneath the watery veil. Steam rises from his shoulders while my wet hair sticks to my damp neck and face. I feel his tongue tracing along my jawline as he pushes himself deeper inside of me. I momentarily need to stop as the pleasure builds within. I want to draw out this sweet fucking ecstasy for as long as humanly possible. My gyrating groin however, has a mind of its own. It chooses to defy me. It moves again, before my brain has even asked it to.
Jonny quietly growls in my ear. “That’s it, Jessica . . . don’t stop.” In my aqueous heaven, I feel the ache between my legs getting stronger and stronger, clenching tightly around his rock hard dick. I lick my dry mouth, biting on it as I near my aqueous orgasm. His fingers dig into my hips. “Fuck . . . that’s so good,” he groans through gritted teeth. The combination of his words and his hot breath on my neck, pushes me right over the edge.
“Oh, Jonny . . . shit . . . I’m . . .” With that I am undone. I erupt into repetitive throbs, gripping and releasing his cock tightly: one after the divine other. The spasms excite Jonny. I feel him, throbbing hard inside of my tenacious vagina as his own climax surges through his overcome body. He pulses over and over inside of me. His stiff and tense body, only starts to relax and soften beneath me as he comes down from his orgasmic high. Out of breath yet satisfied, I try to move off him.
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