by Linda Ford
He brought in the mules and hitched them to the wagon as Judith prepared breakfast.
“It’s ready,” she said, and held out a cup of steaming hot coffee.
“Thanks.” He hunkered down beside the fire. “That will be the last of the wood until we reach the Arkansas.”
She handed him a plate of potatoes, corn dodgers, and baked beans. “Does that mean we will have cold camps?”
“It means we will burn buffalo chips.” He grinned inside.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Dried buffalo droppings.”
She stared at him then narrowed her eyes. “You are joshing me.”
His grin spread across his lips. “’Fraid not.”
She looked past the wagon. “Where do we get these chips?”
“Out there. You pick up the dried ones. The drier the better. And watched for spiders and scorpions.”
She shuddered. “Can I change my mind and go back home?”
Laughter began in the pit of his stomach and rumbled up his throat. “It’s a fair walk.”
She grinned. “And if I don’t gather them?”
He assumed she was teasing. “We eat cold food. And go without coffee.” He gave his cup a mournful look then lifted his gaze to Judith. He knew she liked her coffee and wondered if it would be enough for her to overcome her reluctance to gather buffalo chips.
She looked at her own cup, then sighed. “I can’t bear the thought of no coffee.” She looked toward the other camp fire where her brothers and the others hunkered down, eating their morning meal. “Maybe we could leave our coffee pot out there and beg someone to walk out and fill it.” She sounded so desperate that he had to laugh.
“It’s not that bad. You pull up your apron to form a big pocket and fill it up. You can do it while you walk beside the wagon.” The women all walked a good part of the day rather than endure the hard seat of a rough wagon.
Her eyes brightened. “But I have to take care of Anna. How can I go out there and gather those things?”
He couldn’t say why, but her continued argument about something that had to be done and had been done by everyone else on the trail, amused him no end. “I’ll keep Anna while you do that. Or she can run and play.”
Judith snorted. “She can barely walk.” Her eyes narrowed. “Besides, I would hate to lose her out there.”
He chuckled. “Take a good look about you. The grass is so short you can see a snake fifty yards away.”
She brought her gaze back to him and he almost choked at the way her eyes flashed with teasing. “If I see any snakes I will spend the rest of the trip in the wagon with a gun handy.”
He’d been about to swallow some coffee and sputtered on it as he pictured her riding in the back watching for an intrusion by snakes. “What about the scorpions? You gonna shoot them?”
She looked about. “I’ll whack them with a shovel.” She shuddered and he knew it wasn’t pretend.
“Be careful. Watch for them.”
“How dangerous are they to children?” They both turned toward the sleeping baby.
“I heard it was bad for little ones.”
They looked at each other, Judith’s expression sobered, her eyes darkened. “First, she is orphaned, then we learn the diphtheria is killing those she traveled with and now I have to be on guard against snakes and scorpions. How do parents not worry themselves to death?” She shivered so hard that he eased to her side and patted her hand.
“We’re in this together and we have a Heavenly Father to guide and protect.”
She pressed her hand over his where it lay on her arm. “Thank you for the reminder. I may need to hear it constantly.”
“I’m here to remind you.” He’d enjoyed teasing her so much and seeing her reaction to the necessity of gathering the distasteful burning material that he’d failed to tell her they would soon reach the Arkansas River and wood for the fires. Now he thought it best not to admit his neglect. “Go easy on the water too. There won’t be any more for a day or two.”
Side by side, they finished eating breakfast then, while she cleaned up the cooking things, he stowed his saddle in the wagon.
There were ready to depart and stood over Anna as she slept peacefully. Two fingers had replaced the sugar rag.
“I hate to disturb her,” Judith whispered.
“Wagons ho,” came Buck’s call and the rumble of heavy wagons and dozens of oxen shook the ground.
“Do you want to put her in the back or—?” This was so new and unfamiliar to him. Ask him where the next watering hole was, how to fix a broken wagon tree or even where to find mushrooms after a rain and he could answer with surety. But how to care for a baby…well, he simply didn’t know.
“Why don’t I sit on the bench and you hand her up to me? She might stay asleep, exhausted as she is.”
He grinned. “I like how firm your conviction is on this matter.”
She answered his grin with one of her own. “Sleep wasn’t something she wanted much of last night.” Her gaze followed the moving wagons. “I hope we didn’t keep everyone awake.”
It was Anna’s crying that would have kept them awake, nothing either he or Judith had done but he liked the way she made it sound like they were all in this together. A unit. A family unit.
She climbed up to the seat before he could pull himself from his bemused state. He gently scooped up Anna and lifted her up to Judith. The baby snuffled. Judith stuck the sugar rag in before Anna wakened. With slurping sounds the baby sighed into Judith’s arms.
They traveled abreast of the other wagons in contented silence. Or perhaps exhaustion. Judith’s head fell forward and she jerked up convincing him it was the latter.
“Do you want to go in the back and have a rest while she’s sleeping,” he asked softly.
“Shouldn’t I be gathering buffalo chips?” she whispered, her lips curling back as she spoke.
“There’ll be plenty of time when we stop for the evening.”
“Okay. That gives me a few hours reprieve.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Then maybe I’ll have a rest.”
He’d have to stop to let her get down and go around back and he pulled back on the mules.
Anna struggled to sit up and looked about her sleepily. She looked at Gil and then Judith and her bottom lip trembled.
Judith offered the sugar rag and Anna sucked it eagerly but her accusing gaze went from Gil and back to Judith several times then she tried to escape Judith’s arms.
Judith kept her from falling. “It’s okay, little one. We’ll take care of you.”
Anna struggled to free herself.
“Forget having a rest,” Judith said. “She needs my attention.” Judith gave him a look half regretful, half mocking. “Not that she wants it at the moment.”
Anna had slept through breakfast but Judith had prepared food for the baby and offered it to her now. Anna took a biscuit but didn’t take a bite.
Judith pulled the rag from her mouth but Anna grabbed it and stuffed it back in. Her eyes flooded with tears.
Gil had to do something to ease Anna’s sorrow. He could think of nothing except telling her about the trail and so he began to talk. “Anna, see the mules. They hear you and wonder who you are. See how that one flicks his ears. Hey, mule,” he called. “This is Anna.”
Anna’s eyes widened and she looked at the animals with interest.
“That mule’s name is Brighty because he’s so smart. And that one is Lefty because he is always on the left side.” He continued talking about the mules, giving them far more personality than they deserved and telling of adventures they hadn’t had.
It was worth it when Anna pulled the rag from her mouth and ate the biscuit and then the fried potatoes Judith offered her.
With the baby now content, he stopped talking.
Judith relaxed too. “Are you supposed to be scouting?”
He’d wondered how long it would be before that little detail began to bother her. “T
hat’s my job but for now, I’m here. One of the freighters is looking after finding camping spots.”
“And keeping an eye out for murdering robbers, I hope.”
“Yup.”
He had so many questions for her. But did he have the right to ask them? He returned to one that he’d asked and she hadn’t answered. “What brings you out on the Santa Fe Trail? It’s not the usual place for an unmarried woman.”
“I’m a married woman,” Judith said, enjoying the surprise and embarrassment that chased across Gil’s face. “And you’re the fortunate man I’m married to.”
He slanted a look toward her. “Doesn’t seem real, does it?”
She shook her head. “I keep expecting to wake up and find it’s a dream.”
He grinned. “So I’m the sort of man to fill a woman’s dreams?”
She laughed softly. “Be grateful I didn’t say I thought I was in a nightmare.” Before he could take offense, she quickly added. “My nightmares are never full of handsome men offering their hand in marriage. More often they contain snakes and scorpions.” She shuddered at the prospect of encountering either. She might be joshing about the subject, but they truly filled her with paralyzing fear. “In my nightmares I can never run or scream as the horrible creatures come after me.”
“Handsome men? Nice to know I fall into that category.” He looked supremely pleased with himself.
It took her a moment to realize what he meant. She’d used the term generically, not meaning him specifically, but she liked seeing the way the announcement softened his face. As if something inside him had opened up. She sat back as pleased as he.
“You’re pretty good at deflecting my question.”
“I am? What question is that?” She hoped he would ask something less demanding.
“What brings you on the Santa Fe Trail?”
“Oh that? Isn’t it obvious? Two brothers, a covered wagon and half a dozen mules.” She waved her hand dismissively.
He laughed outright, the sound causing the mules to flick their ears and little Anna to stare at him. She pulled the sugar rag from her mouth and grinned.
For her part, Judith knew a sense of satisfaction both out of making him laugh and feeling the rumbling sound echo in her chest. She faced forward, uncertain if she wanted him to know how much she enjoyed the moment.
“Deflecting again,” he said, humor and resignation coloring his words. “Are you going to make me try and guess?”
“If you like.” She couldn’t explain why the idea so amused her except that it would help pass the long hours of the day.
“Let’s see. You said your fiancé had died. So I’m guessing you’re running from that pain. I know it’s what drove me to trading on the Santa Fe Trail.”
Her mind buzzed with questions of her own. “Did your intended die as well?”
“She isn’t dead as far as I know.” The harshness in his voice made her want to stop her ears. But she couldn’t keep from asking,
“Then what happened? I don’t understand.”
“I found her in the arms of another man.”
“Like Warren and Luke found us?”
“Not at all. It was far from innocent.”
Her cheeks burned at what he meant. “I’m sorry. So you left?”
“It was the main reason.” Still that hard, bitter tone.
“What other reasons drove you from your home?”
“It’s no longer important.”
She touched his arm. “But it was at the time?”
“With my okay, Pa had taken my wages and put them back into our business. We had a dry goods store. The plan was to start another business closer to the trails. I would get my money back when the time came. But it was my brother who set out to start the new business. I expected my share of the money would still be available. But when I wanted to leave, I discovered I had no money. Pa had given it all to my brother and our business was mortgaged to the bank.” He shrugged. “I felt betrayed at the time but I’ve gotten over it and made my peace with Pa.” He grew silent a moment. “I’m glad I did because he passed on two years ago.”
“I’m sorry about your loss. But it’s good you were able to forgive him.”
He jerked about to face her. “How did you know I had to forgive him?”
“It’s pretty obvious to me. I’m working on forgiveness for both myself and for someone else.”
“Are you hoping to find the person you want to forgive in Santa Fe?”
“You could say that.” She would confront Frank’s stepbrother, tell him what a rotten scoundrel he was to steal Frank’s money and then she would be free of the pain of his sudden death.
For a time they rode on in silence except for Anna’s baby babble.
To the right of them, the wagons pulled to a stop. The freighters dug into their larders and pulled out food. Warren, Luke and the others from the smaller wagons gathered together to eat.
Gil stopped the wagon and jumped down then hurried around to take Anna and put her on the ground. She toddled about, glad to be on her feet. He helped Judith down. She pulled out the cold meal while Gil took the mules to graze. The grass was dry providing limited feed. He filled a bucket from the barrel of water and gave the animals a drink.
She had the meager meal ready to eat when he returned.
Like the other men nearby, as soon as he’d eaten, he stretched out by the wagon, pulled his hat over his head and soon snored.
Judith would have liked to nap as well but she had to keep an eye on Anna who climbed over the wagon tongue and explored every little rock. It kept Judith busy keeping things out of her mouth.
All too soon it was time to move on.
Gil bound to his feet, stretching and yawing. He adjusted the hat on his head and brought the mules back to the wagon. Finished with the animals, he turned to Judith. “Do you think little Anna will nap?”
“I would hope so. I’ll climb in the back with her.” Judith couldn’t wait for the chance to stretch out her weary limbs.
She lay down and pulled Anna to her side. The little girl sat up and scowled at Judith.
“Mama,” she demanded. It was clear to Judith that Anna held her responsible for her mother’s disappearance.
“I know,” she crooned. “It’s too bad. But if you have a sleep you will feel so much better.” Judith yawned. She’d certainly feel better if she slept and she hummed a little lullaby. Please go to sleep.
Anna’s eyelids drooped.
Judith hummed and waited.
Anna jerked her head up and widened her eyes, but she couldn’t resist sleep and slowly folded down over Judith’s chest. Judith waited, not wanting to waken her. Slowly, gently, hardly daring to breathe, she eased Anna to the quilt and released a quiet sigh when the baby stayed sleeping.
Judith immediately fell asleep and jerked awake some time later as the wagon jolted across a buffalo trail.
She glanced at the Anna who still slept peacefully, curled up into a little ball, the sugar rag forgotten in favor of her two fingers. Poor little baby. She missed her parents and could not understand why they were gone.
The nap had refreshed Judith, strengthened her to face her new life. She eased away from Anna and made her way to the front of the wagon where Gil sat. She rested her arms on the backrest. “How long did I sleep?”
His shoulders twitched as if her presence startled him.
She studied him. “Were you sleeping?”
“Not exactly.”
She flicked her hand across his shoulder. “Not exactly? What does that mean? Aren’t you either asleep or awake?”
“You can be both.”
She guffawed. “How is that possible?”
“I can be half asleep.”
“You mean one eye is asleep, the other awake?” This sort of conversation reminded her of the nonsensical conversations she’d had with Frank who had always found the humor in every situation. Her amusement fled. Frank had proved to be good at fun and laughter, not s
o good at trials and challenges.
“It’s a skill that takes years to perfect,” Gil said with a degree of superiority.
She chuckled. “Maybe I’ll develop the same skill by the time we complete this trip.”
He didn’t reply and she settled her chin on the tops of her hands. Her thoughts began to circle. Gil was her husband. She still couldn’t believe it to be real. What did she know about the man besides he and her brothers had traveled together many times and they spoke highly of him? She’d had a chance to learn little about him since they’d left Independence. He was often gone scouting, but had sometimes joined them for the evening meal. He was always quiet and thoughtful, ready to help where and when needed. Seems she should know a little more if they were to be man and wife. Father and mother to the wee girl in the back.
No better time than the present to learn a bit more. “Don’t I remember you saying your father was a widower?”
“My own mother died when I was five. I don’t remember her at all. When I was ten, Pa remarried and gave me a stepmother and a stepbrother. I was happy to finally have a family. Until then I had always accompanied Pa to the store. It was the only home I knew. My new ma gave me a home.”
“Did you get along with your stepbrother?” Frank talked about how he’d always felt his stepbrother was favored by both the father and the mother.
“We weren’t best friends, but we got along alright.”
“Yet your pa gave him your share of the money. Doesn’t that make you bitter?” Having his stepbrother steal Frank’s money had led her fiancé to despair. Live-ending despair.
“Pa thought it fair seeing as Ollie was older.”
Ollie. She’d half expected him to say Frank, but of course, Frank wasn’t the only one to have a stepbrother, and obviously not the only one to have money woes related to them.
The afternoon heat grew. “Isn’t it hot for this time of year?”
“One thing I’ve learned on the trail is you can’t predict the weather.”
Judith leaned forward for a better look at the sky and the surrounding landscape. Nothing but blue sky. Beside them, the other wagons rolling slowly across the prairie, dust billowing up from hooves and wheels. Mary Mae walked beside the Clark wagon. She glanced toward Judith and waved. Judith waved back, missing her friend. She’d been so preoccupied yesterday with caring for Anna and the shock of being married that she hadn’t even discussed it with Mary Mae. Now she wished she could fall in step with the other woman and pour out her confusion and uncertainty.