Esther’s laughter exploded from her lips, then she clapped her lips together. This was no laughing matter. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. There are advantages to not having breasts.”
Hannah smiled wryly and propped her hand on her hip. “Less strain on your back.”
“Exactly,” Nanna said. “Dresses fit better. Crumbs don’t collect on my chest. I can sleep on my stomach.”
Nanna was joking, so Esther let herself laugh. “Lots of advantages.”
“The best part is that I’m alive, and the doctor says I probably have many years left, Lord willing, which is gute because I need to make a lot of quilts before my hospital bills are paid off.”
Esther frowned. “Oh, dear.”
“The church is helping,” Mary Jane said. “And a card shower brought in almost four thousand dollars.”
“People are so kind,” Nanna said. “My blog also brings in some money. I’ll be okay, Lord willing.”
Winnie cooed and opened her eyes wide, as if she was perfectly full and perfectly happy on Mary Jane’s lap. “Oh,” Hannah sighed. “Look at that little face.”
When she wasn’t fussing or crying or throwing up, Winnie really was a beautiful baby. She had big round eyes and an angelic face and fat round cheeks that just asked to be squeezed. But she was definitely cuter sitting on someone else’s lap.
Mary Jane caught Esther looking at the baby. Esther must have had a relatively pleasant look on her face. “Do you want to hold her?” Mary Jane said.
Hannah handed Esther a plate of pancakes. “Let her eat first. She’ll handle everything better on a full stomach.”
Esther wanted to argue that she would never handle the baby better, not even on a full stomach, but it definitely couldn’t hurt. Her quilting was always better after a cup of kaffee and a hot breakfast.
Esther ate pancake after pancake with the amazing peach syrup Hannah had brought in her bin. She was already wondering what other surprises they would pull out of that bin. Bacon, for sure and certain. Nanna had brought four—four!—packages of bacon. She cooked them all and told Esther to eat all she wanted. Esther did, even if her new friends thought she was greedy. All-you-can-eat bacon was a luxury she would probably never experience again.
After breakfast, Esther held the baby while Mary Jane and the others did the dishes. Mary Jane said that Esther needed to get used to holding Winnie, and Winnie needed to get used to Esther. She said Winnie needed to bond, which sounded like something that only happened in books.
After the dishes, Mary Jane showed Esther how to put Winnie down for a nap, which turned out to be very traumatic. No wonder Levi hadn’t stayed yesterday to help put the baby down. He probably hadn’t wanted the emotional distress. After watching Esther change Winnie’s diaper, Mary Jane directed Esther to hold Winnie close to her chest and rock her back and forth while singing something soothing and peaceful. Esther couldn’t sing, so none of her songs sounded peaceful or soothing, even “Das Loblied,” which they sang in church.
Winnie wouldn’t stop squirming, and Esther wanted to skip the singing, but Mary Jane insisted it would help Winnie fall asleep. Esther wasn’t convinced. After that ordeal, they laid Winnie in her portable crib, where she immediately began to scream.
“Did your schwester bring this crib,” Mary Jane said, “or did you have it?”
“It came with the baby.”
“That’s very nice of her to think of it.”
More nice words about Ivy. Esther gritted her teeth against them. She wasn’t going to think well of Ivy, no matter how hard the Kiems tried to see the good.
They tiptoed out of the room and shut the door. Winnie’s cries grew louder. Mary Jane held up a finger. “Now we wait five minutes.”
“Wait for what?”
“It’s what we do.” Esther couldn’t argue with that. She wasn’t a mother, and if the whole motherhood club did it this way, then who was she to argue?
For the longest five minutes of Esther’s life, they stood outside the room and listened to Winnie cry. “How do you stand this?” Esther said.
“You just have to tell yourself that the sound of a baby crying is the most distressing sound in the world. It’s Gotte’s way of making sure we don’t ignore our babies.”
“But then, doesn’t Gotte want us to go in and get her?”
“Just a little more time,” she said.
At the end of five minutes, they went back into the room, and Mary Jane directed Esther to pat Winnie’s back and say sweet things to her. Esther couldn’t think of anything sweet to say so she just chose the things that would comfort her if she were lying in bed bawling her eyes out. “Winnie, Winnie. It’s okay. I found some very nice fabric at the store, and I’m going to make you a quilt. How about that? Would you like a nine patch or a log cabin? Wild goose chase would make a nice baby quilt.”
Mary Jane nodded and nudged Esther to leave the room. Winnie started crying all over again. “That didn’t work,” Esther said.
“We do it again in six minutes, then seven, then eight, so Winnie can see you’ll always come back. It makes her feel confident enough to go to sleep.”
Esther didn’t know if a baby could feel confidence in anything, but Mary Jane had two children and Esther had none. They’d do it Mary Jane’s way. Sure enough, after the third time going in, patting Winnie’s back, and talking about quilts, Winnie wound down and fell asleep. Esther was ecstatic. She now knew how to put Winnie down for a nap. She clapped her hands silently and beamed at Mary Jane. “We did it!”
Mary Jane smiled like any teacher would smile when her pupil finally learned the lesson. “I knew you could do it.”
They walked quietly back into the kitchen, where Hannah and Nanna were making sandwiches. “How did it go?”
“She’s asleep,” Esther said, unable to keep the pride from her voice.
Hannah cut a tuna sandwich in half. “Mary Jane is a wonderful gute sleep trainer.”
“I learned all I know from you, Mamm,” Mary Jane said.
Nanna stuffed a tuna sandwich into a zipper bag. “Is that quilter’s chalk?”
Esther fingered the chalk piece behind her ear. It hadn’t even fallen out when she’d gone to bed. “You never know when you’re going to need something to write with.”
“What an excellent idea,” Nanna said. “I’m going to try that.”
Esther’s heart beat a little faster. Hannah Kiem, famous quilter, was going to try Esther’s chalk trick. The day was just getting better and better.
Hannah pointed to the pile of six sandwiches on the counter. “Now, we’ve made you some sandwiches for when you get busy with Winnie. You can always eat a sandwich while you’re feeding her, so at least you won’t starve.”
“Oh, denki. You’ve been more than kind.” Esther pressed her lips together. They were getting ready to leave, and she wanted so badly to ask them to stay. But they’d done enough for her already. She could fall to pieces after they left.
They gathered up their supplies and put them in the bin of wonders but left the diapers, the extra formula, and four packages of baby wipes. That should at least get her through the weekend. All three gave her big hugs before they left. She held on extra tight to Nanna until it got awkward.
Nanna patted her cheek. “What a blessing to have a beautiful baby to love.”
Esther couldn’t see any part of this as a blessing. “It feels like Gotte is playing a joke on me.”
Nanna smiled. “Gotte can make all things beautiful if we let Him. I like to think of Him as the master quilter, taking plain scraps of fabric and bringing them together to make a beautiful pattern. You’ll see. And after things settle down, you and I can start quilting.”
Esther tried to smile. In her present situation, she couldn’t imagine ever quilting again. “I’d like that.”
Nanna pointed to the chalk behind Esther’s ear. “That tells me you are a girl who’s ready for anything. Even a baby.”
Esther wasn’t going to argue with her, but she would never be equipped to care for a baby. It was why Gotte had never given her a husband.
“We’ll be back,” Mary Jane said. “Just remember about the sleeping.”
Esther waved goodbye. She had learned how to put the baby down for a nap. Considering what had happened yesterday, it was a stunning accomplishment. Maybe things weren’t so helpless after all. Maybe Gotte could make a quilt out of the torn scraps of her life.
She shut the door.
The baby started screaming.
Chapter Three
Levi pulled up in front of the house with his horse and wagon. Esther’s house was small, with not even enough room to hold gmay there, but the Yoders had done a lot of work on the yard. Evergreen bushes grew up against the house, and a row of cheery yellow daffodils stood in the beds in front of the bushes. The grass was that early spring yellowish-green, but once Esther put some water to the lawn, this would really be a nice little place for her.
Levi didn’t have any objection to going a second time to Esther Zook’s house. She was funny and honest and wonderful pretty to look at, but he was really just here to do her bathroom. Seeing Esther again was a bonus, but his only reason for coming back was because Mammi had asked him to fix Esther’s toilet and redo the tile.
Levi had set the brake, jumped out of the wagon, and pulled his backpack from the wagon bed when he heard an unusual, rhythmic squeaking noise coming from the side of the house. Each squeak was followed by a thud and a grunt. Either Esther was behaving very strangely or an animal was dying on her property.
Levi strolled across the yard and peeked around the corner of the house. Esther stood in the side yard holding a rag rug in her fists. Sweat beaded on her face as she let out an angry squeak and slapped the rug against the house. Then she grunted, lifted the rug above her head, and hit the house again.
Levi tried very hard not to laugh. “If there was any dirt on that rug, you’ve scared it away.”
Esther halted mid-swing. She turned and glanced at Levi, her lips twitching sheepishly at the sight of him. “Ach, Levi Kiem. I didn’t hear you drive up. Your buggy wheels must be well greased.”
“Having a bad day?”
Esther held up the rug. “Not as bad a day as this rug.”
“Did it make you mad?”
She scrunched her lips. “Nae. This poor rug just happened to be the first thing I saw to grab. But it has never been cleaner.”
“I don’t wonder that it hasn’t.” He leaned against the side of the house. “Anything I can do?” His heart lurched. “Where’s Winnie?”
“Ach. She’s in her crib. It took two hours, but I think she’s asleep. I thought I was doing so gute yesterday when your sister was here, but Winnie barely slept a wink last night, and that five-minute, six-minute, seven-minute trick Mary Jane taught me didn’t work this morning.”
Levi rubbed his hand down his jawline. “That usually works.”
“Not for me. If there was any person less suited for taking care of a baby, I’d surely like to meet her.”
“It’s not that bad. You got Winnie to go down for a nap this morning. That’s something, no matter how long it took.”
Esther snorted with cynical laughter. “I think she finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion. But I’m just assuming she’s asleep. She might be sitting in her crib plotting ways to keep me awake tonight. You never know with babies.”
It was obvious Esther hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. She was still as pretty as a picture, but wisps of hair stuck out from her kapp, and there was a dull, glassy look in her eyes that signaled her fatigue. Levi had lived with his mamm and sisters long enough to know you never tell a woman she looks tired. To her that means you think she looks bad, and no woman wants to hear that. He stifled a grin. The chalk was gone, but Esther had a bright orange carrot stick tucked behind her ear.
“So you’re upset that Winnie didn’t sleep last night, and you’re taking it out on a rug that never did you any harm?”
She raised an eyebrow. “It tripped me once.”
“And never apologized?”
Esther folded the rug in half, tucked it under her arm, and joined Levi at the corner of the house. “I’m discouraged about Winnie, but that’s not why I’m upset. Who could be mad at Winnie? She has no control over her mother’s bad choices.”
“You’re mad at your sister.”
“Jah. The three hundred dollars I hid in my fridge is gone. Ivy left the baby and took my money. I’m so mad I could spit. But I’m not going to spit, because it’s rude.”
“You hide your money in the fridge?” Levi said.
“Of course. Robbers don’t think to look in the fridge.”
“Ivy did.”
Esther growled. “Because she knows the secret. Dat always hid money in the fridge. I suppose I should have moved it when she came, but I never thought my own sister would steal from me.”
“That’s too bad. I’m sorry she did that.”
“Me too. And so is this rug.”
“Do you hide your money next to the carrots?” he said.
Her expression popped with surprise. “How did you know?”
Laughter burst from his mouth as he pointed to her ear.
She formed her lips into an O and touched the carrot on the side of her head. “I was moving vegetables around looking for my money. I must have put this here without thinking.” She pulled the carrot from behind her ear and examined it. “You never know when you’re going to need a carrot.”
“You might want a mid-morning snack.”
“I’ll pass,” she said, tossing the carrot on the ground. “I wash behind my ears regularly, but there’s been a lot of dust flying this morning. My sister is going to pay me back for every last carrot. That’s for sure and certain.”
Levi showed her his backpack. “I brought something that might cheer you up.”
Esther puckered her lips skeptically. “Unless it’s a full-time mother’s helper, it’s not going to cheer me up.”
He pretended to deflate. “No mother’s helper. Just tile samples for the bathroom.”
She shrugged and gave him an enchanting smile. “It’s not what I wanted, but it’s something. Who isn’t in a better mood after looking at tile samples?”
“Exactly what I think. Ach, I also brought a present for Winnie.”
“A present? How nice. What did you bring her?”
He shook his head and gave her a teasing smile. “I can’t tell you. It’s Winnie’s present. Let’s let her open it.”
She rolled her eyes, then led him into the house. The minute they entered, he heard Winnie crying. Esther sighed heavily. “What did I tell you? I don’t think she ever went to sleep. I’ve only been outside for ten minutes.”
Levi opened the door to Winnie’s room. “Let’s see what we can do.” The spare bedroom in Esther’s house contained a twin bed covered in a stunning quilt, a small dresser with two drawers, and Winnie’s portable crib, plus the suitcase that held all of Winnie’s things. There wasn’t much in it. The minute he stepped into the room, Levi knew what was wrong. A pungent smell hung in the air.
“Oy, anyhow,” Esther said, waving her hand in front of her nose. “I’ll never get used to that.”
Levi picked up Winnie and held her close even though she stunk like a barn full of chickens. “It’s hard to sleep with a full diaper.”
Esther grabbed a diaper and some wipes from the suitcase. “All right, then. Let’s get this over with.” She held out her arms for the baby.
“I can change her if you want,” Levi said. He didn’t really enjoy changing diapers, but it was better for Winnie if he did it instead of Esther.
To his surprise, she shook her head. “That’s a wonderful kind offer, but I need the practice. Besides, I want you to come back sometime. I’ll never get that bathroom done if you stay away because you’re expected to change a diaper every time you come.”
He chuck
led. “Okay. I’ll watch you, then.”
“Please do. I’m not good at it yet. I need all the advice I can get.”
Esther was in a very sorry state to have to get baby advice from a twenty-four-year-old Amish plumber. But she sure was funny and fun to be with. He wasn’t going to mind returning again and again, even if he had to change a diaper now and then. It wasn’t as if he was even mildly interested in Esther as a potential fraa—not one bit, even though girls in Byler were scarce and he liked Esther quite a lot.
When she had talked about her sister that first day, Levi had done the math. Her sister jumped the fence when she was eighteen and had been gone for eight years. Ivy was four years younger than Esther. That meant Esther was thirty. Way too old for Levi, who was twenty-four. He had no interest in desperate old maids who hadn’t been able to convince anyone to marry them. And Esther was in Mammi’s quilting club. He most certainly wouldn’t date a girl who was in an old ladies’ quilting club. He’d never live that down with his friends.
Besides, he didn’t want a girl who already had a baby. If Winnie was a temporary problem, Levi didn’t want to risk getting attached. If she was a permanent problem, Levi didn’t want a child complicating his life. Of course, Winnie wasn’t really the problem. She was darling, and Levi liked babies. Mamm always said he was a baby person. But Winnie was an obstacle that made everything harder. He wasn’t interested in unnecessary complications in his life.
Dat was sending him to Ohio in the fall, and according to his cousin Peter, Ohio was teeming with pretty Amish girls who were eager to find a husband. That was the kind of fraa Levi wanted: young, pretty, and unencumbered. That was the kind of fraa he deserved.
Esther changed Winnie’s diaper, using about seven baby wipes, and even though her efforts were clumsy, Winnie’s bottom was clean and dry at the end of it. That’s probably all that mattered, even if Esther was going to be spending a lot of money on baby wipes.
Winnie fussed when Esther picked her up. Esther drew her brows together. “Do you think she’s hungry?”
“When was the last time she ate?”
The Amish Quiltmaker's Unexpected Baby Page 4